I feel the loss of her in every part of me. I have been broken beyond repair, and broken once again. Losing her once was terrible, but I may never recover from a second time. Even my illness hasn't hurt this much. I wonder if she felt pain like this while losing me, because this pain is killing me. I hope she didn't' suffer like I am. I don't feel happiness of any kind. I can't smile; I can't feel anything other than my unanchored sadness. I am floating around in the sea of sadness that overwhelms me.