I sat on my bed, tears pricking my eyes and my arms cuddling the plush bear that Joel had found for me years ago whilst scavenging as I waited for the man to come and say goodbye to me. Come and say goodbye to me before leaving with Ellie to deliver her to the fireflies. It was practically a suicide mission and I didn't understand why my adoptive dad had to do it. Needless to say that I was dreading the moment when he said goodbye to me, terrifyingly potentially for the last time. But I was trying not to think about that. I looked up as I heard a soft knock on my closed door.

"Come in." I called out. The door opened and my heart immediately dropped as Joel appeared with an envelope in one of his hands. Joel was my safe place and so of course normally I loved seeing him. But not today.

"How are you doing, kid? You okay?" He checked, though we both already knew the answer as he shut the door behind him.

"No, I'm not, but never mind. Don't ask." I shook my head, making the hard-featured man sigh as I shuffled to the end of my bed before standing up.

"Okay. Well, Ellie and I are about to leave, so I wanted to see you before I left. I, um, brought you this, too." He nodded before gently putting the envelope into the palm of my hand. My eyebrows furrowed, my mind confused as to what he was giving me as I looked at him.

"What is it?" I asked. Joel sighed and scratched the back of his head. I knew Joel as if he was my own dad, and I could tell that he was desperately trying to keep his harsh front up for me, and not cry. But I wasn't going to do the same, I knew that the second that he'd go to hug me, I'd just break down. But that was okay.

"It's a letter. It's nothing special, it's just a letter, but, um...fuck, okay." He chuckled and looked at me, making me gulp and bite my lip as I could see the tears in his crinkled eyes.

"This isn't going to be easy for either of us, I know that, and I knew it when I agreed to deliver Ellie to the fireflies and when I realised that I have to find Tommy. So, I'm going to try and get letters to you. I don't care how I do it, I'll figure it out. And this is the first one. So, I want you to open this the first time that you need me, and I'm not there. Because I promised you when I took you in that I was always going to be there when you needed me, and I'm not about to break that promise. And so, this is the best that I can do until I can come back to you." He nodded as his eyes flicked over my face. I choked and gave him a small smile, my heart swelling in both sadness and love for how sweet this gesture was as I gripped the letter that little bit tighter.

"Oh, Joel." I choked before tightly wrapping my arms around his torso and pressing my head to his chest. He immediately returned the hug and pressed his lips to the top of my head, both of us not wanting to let go again as we took in the last moment like this that we would have for a while.

"I want to come with you." I mumbled into his flannel shirt.

"I know that you do, baby girl, but you know that I can't risk it. I can't lose you too." He returned. I sighed and nodded, tears unapologetically leaving my eyes as I pulled away from him and looked up at his face. Joel gave me a small smile, tears still pricking his eyes as he nodded.

"We're leaving after sundown. You know that I'd love for you to be there, but since we're sneaking out of the QZ, you can't. So, this was my chance to say goodbye." Joel nodded.

"Please don't say goodbye. Goodbye suggests that you're not coming back. I'll see you later." I gave him a small smile. Joel chuckled and nodded again, my heart completely numb as he leant in and kissed my head again before heading back to my door. He opened it and looked back at me.

"I love you, baby girl. And I'll see you later. I'll see you soon." He nodded.

"I love you too, Joel. And yeah. You better." I gave him a forced and small smile. Joel returned the smile, the aged man giving me one more sorrowful nod before leaving my room and closing the door behind him. But as soon as he left, the very small smile that I had been able to force dropped. I choked, tears starting to roll freely down my face again as I collapsed back onto my bed and buried my face into my hands. I couldn't help but just start sobbing, my heart broken and yet numb at the same time at the reality that that may have been the last time that I'd see Joel alive. See my adoptive father alive. We both knew that he had to do this, not only to deliver the 'cargo' that was Ellie to the fireflies but to also make sure that my uncle Tommy was still alive. Joel had to do this, it just hurt knowing that this mission could cost him his life. I just had to hope that it wouldn't come to that. That was all that I could hope for.

I sat on my bed, my bedside gas lamp on and a book in my hand as I relaxed for the night. Well, tried to relax. The sun had gone down a few hours ago, meaning that Joel had left the QZ with Tess and Ellie a few hours ago, and I was already missing him so much that it was making me sick. I sighed and bit my lip as my eyes flicked to the brown and tatty envelope that sat on the sheets next to me. I had to admit that I was surprised that Joel had managed to find paper and an envelope, albeit a clearly old and worn one, in the QZ. That kind of shit was almost impossible to come by, despite being far from a necessity. I gulped, my heart in my throat as I tried to imagine what Joel had written to me in his goodbye letter. But of course there was only one way to find out. I took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare myself as I sat up and grabbed the letter before opening the sealed envelope. I pulled out the lined paper that was equally as shabby as the envelope, but again this didn't surprise me given how rare paper was now. I unfolded the letter, tears already pricking my eyes purely in anticipation as my pupils started to scan over the worlds that decorated the paper.

Baby girl,

I don't know when you'll choose the moment to read this letter, but I'm sure that whenever you open it, it'll have been for a reason. Maybe I've only just given it to you, maybe I left a few hours ago, maybe it's been days. Though, knowing you, it won't have been too long.

I know that you wanted to come with me, and to be honest, I wanted you to come too. But you know why you can't, and I hope that you understand. Losing Sarah was the hardest thing that I've ever gone through, and I can't experience that again with you. I can't lie to you, I don't know how this mission will go, how the journey will go. The world is already a dangerous place, let alone when travelling with a girl who is meant to be the answer to all of this, meant to be immune. I'm not expecting to get very far with her. The second that someone sees the bite marks on her arm, they'll shoot her without question, and my only mission will be to find Tommy alive. I can't wait for that day, it'll be one day closer to getting back to you.

I don't know how long this will take, I haven't been so far out into the world in years, since before I found you. But I will promise you one thing, and that is that I'll make it back to you. No matter what, I'll come home to you, I won't leave you in this world alone. I promise you that.

Please always remember how much I love you. Stay alive, and I'll see you soon, baby girl.

I love you, and I'm coming back.

Dad.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, sobs leaving my lips as I hung on every single word that Joel had given to me. Hung on the fact that he called himself dad. Despite the fact that I loved him like a father and he loved me like a daughter, I always just called him Joel, and so it felt so fucking special that he'd referred to himself as dad to me. I loved it, and it only made me want him back more. But I knew that this letter was all that I had for now, and so I'd hold onto that with no chance of me ever letting it go again.

~One month later~

"Excuse me, sorry, watch out, move, asshole!" I yelled as I sprinted through the QZ, people gasping and just about moving out of my way in time as I ran as fast as I could. My chest rose and heaved with heavy breaths, though I knew that I couldn't stop as I finally got back home from having picked up potentially the most important thing that I'd ever be given. I'd gotten the call only twenty minutes ago that Joel had got another letter to me by using the radio contact with the QZ to send them coordinates that he'd left a letter at. I'd been told, and hadn't even grabbed a jacket for how quickly I had rushed over there. And so now, I was running up the stairs to mine and Joel's apartment so that I could read the next letter that he had left for me. I threw open our apartment door and rushed in before shutting it and immediately ripping the envelope open. This time, the envelope wasn't an actual envelope, instead it was what looked to be an old magazine page that Joel had fashioned into an envelope to put the letter in. But of course it was the letter that I cared about, my heart racing as I quickly unfolded the tatty lined paper, and started to read.

Hi, baby girl,

I don't know when this letter will be found, and so I don't know how much more will have happened by the time that you read this. But things haven't turned out like they were meant to. For one, Tess got bit on the first day. I'm sorry, Y/N. Tess is gone.

My eyes wavered, a choke leaving my lips at the first bit of bad news, so early into their journey. That Tess, the woman who had also been in my life for the last ten years, was now gone. I just hoped to god that Joel wouldn't follow that path.

As for Ellie, she also got bit, but of course she's immune. And, I must say, kid, this girl isn't just cargo anymore. We've already been through so much together that I don't know if I can just leave her at the end of this. And so, you might have a new sister by the end of this journey, provided that we're both still alive, that is :)

I couldn't help but smile at Joel's words, at him admitting that Ellie would probably end up being my sister by the end of their journey. My adoptive dad wasn't the type of guy to spend so long with someone and to not get attached to them. I knew that she wouldn't just be cargo by the end of this, and so I was more than happy to be welcoming Ellie into our perfect little family.

We've hit bumps in the road for sure, it's been a journey already. We unintentionally got into the city a few days ago, and met these brothers called Henry and Sam. Sam couldn't have been older than maybe thirteen, probably younger. Henry was too optimistic for my taste, but Sam was special, and he and Ellie really got along. But as with most things in this world, it didn't work out. Ellie tried to cure Sam, but it was no use. We lost him too, and Henry followed quickly behind.

If you didn't understand before, I hope that you do now. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if anything had happened to you. That being said, I miss you more than I ever thought I would. I miss your fucking stupid jokes that would make me laugh anyway (Ellie actually has a pun book which is full of jokes just as bad as your ones, but they remind me of your ones, so that makes it okay). I miss you making the best meals out of what little I find on scavenges, I miss you falling asleep to the radio. I just miss you, kiddo, and cannot wait to get back to you.

We're not far behind the fireflies, I can feel it, and so I'm hoping that it won't be long now. I can also feel it that we're close to Tommy. He's another person that I can't wait to see again, and I know that he'll want to return to you too. You were the thing that filled the Sarah-shaped hole for both of us, and so I can't wait for us to be a family again.

I should go now, Ellie and I have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. But please know that I haven't stopped thinking about you since we left, and I won't stop until I get back to you. I will get back to you. I promise.

I love you. Stay alive.

Dad.

I puffed out as I folded the letter back up, tears leaving my eyes as I clutched the letter close to my chest. I had to admit that I had mixed feelings about what Joel had said. Whilst I was over the moon that Ellie was looking to be the new addition to our family, I had no idea when the three of us would be back together again, or even if it would end up being the three of us. I knew that I had to stay as optimistic as possible, but there was also so much that could still go wrong. Ellie could die, or worse, Joel could. But I didn't want to think about that. And so for now, I held the hope in my heart that Joel would come back to me. And that he'd come back soon. Soon.

~Six months later~

I sat in my room in Tommy and Maria's house, my eyes on my book as I relaxed on my bed. The bed that had temporarily been Ellie's when her and Joel had found Tommy, two months ago. After the latest letter from Joel, I had said fuck it and had decided to follow him in the pursuit of Tommy, in the hope that I would get there and find Joel and Ellie. I had enlisted Marlene's help, and despite it taking months to have reached my uncle, I made it. Unfortunately, I had just missed my adoptive father and sister. When I finally reached Tommy and Maria's commune, my uncle told me that Joel and Ellie had reached them, but had left merely days before I had arrived. Luckily, he knew that Joel and Ellie were planning to return to the commune once she had given the vaccine, and so he had invited me to stay until they got back. As if on cue, my door burst open, making my head shoot up and my eyes widen as Tommy appeared.

"What's going on?" I gulped as I shuffled to the end of my bed and stood up.

"They're back, Y/N. He's back." Tommy nodded. My eyes widened further, a choke leaving my lips as I immediately grabbed my jacket and shoes. I pulled them on so quickly that I didn't tie my laces, Tommy rushing out with me as we shot out of the house.

"Where, where are they?" I gulped, my eyes darting around as we rushed into the street.

"There. He's right fucking there." Tommy smiled, tears also pricking his eyes as he pointed down the main road into the commune. I looked down it, and sure enough, there they were. The all-too-familiar sight of the old flannel shirt filled my vision, as well as the more than welcomed sight of the salt and pepper curls.

"Joel!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Immediately, Joel's eyes landed on me, making me laugh and nod as his eyes widened. I saw his lips move to say something to Ellie, both of them breaking into a run within seconds as he raced towards me. I started to run too, my heart racing and tears streaming down my face as I couldn't wait to just be hugged by him again, not to mention officially meet my adoptive sister for the first time.

"Y/N, oh my god!" Joel yelled, the man dropping his backpack so that he could run faster as the distance between us rapidly lessened. Before I knew it, Joel was right in front of me, our arms flying around each other as he hugged me the tightest that he ever had. He lifted me off of my feet, my eyes squeezed shut and my arms wrapped so tightly around his shoulders as I just let him hold me.

"Baby girl, oh, it's so good to see you, oh my god." Joel choked into my ear as he put me down and pulled away from me, but only enough to take my face into his hands.

"I knew that you would come back to me. I fucking knew it." I smiled and shook my head, tears running down both of our faces as we just looked at each other.

"I promised you, kid. And have I ever broken a promise?" He returned my smile before looking back at Ellie, who had now caught up with us.

"That's the best you've run this entire time, dude, what the fuck?" She panted heavily, her eyes squeezing shut and her hands on her hips as she regained her breath.

"Ellie, I've told you plenty about Y/N. But Y/N, this is Ellie." Joel nodded as he gestured between us. I couldn't help but just beam at her as I immediately hugged her tightly, the girl seeming to be taken aback but returning the hug anyway as I held her.

"Thank you for bringing him back." I mumbled into her ear before pulling away to look at her. Ellie gave me a small smile, her head nodding as her eyes flicked over my face.

"It was a two-way thing. Trust me." She smiled. I returned it and bit my lip, Joel casually swinging one arm over my shoulder and the other over Ellie's before turning, and starting to walk us back to Tommy and Maria's house.

Joel and I sat in Tommy's living room, the fire crackling away and Ellie asleep on the other sofa in the room as we all relaxed after what had been a very stressful day, more so for Joel and Ellie than for me. I looked at Joel, my heart never happier to see the old and worn face that was harsh and unwelcoming to everyone other than me and Ellie.

"I can't believe that you made it back to me. You came back." I admitted quietly. Joel looked at me with a small smile, his old eyes so full of love for me as he put his hand on my knee.

"Of course I did, kiddo. Have I ever broken a promise to you?" He chuckled.

"No, but so much could have happened. You could have died, and there wouldn't have been that much that you could have done." I shook my head. My words made Joel's smile dip slowly, making my heart drop as he looked down.

"Joel, what happened?" I gulped. He sighed and cocked his jaw before looking back up at me, though it seemed somewhat reluctant.

"I wrote you one last letter, just after Ellie and I left to go and find the university that the fireflies were held up in at the time. I wrote you one last letter because I got stabbed, and I was a dumbass who pulled the knife out. I didn't think that I was going to survive, I didn't think that I'd ever seen you again. And so, I wrote you one last letter. And I was going to give it to Ellie, to give to you as my goodbye. I had to be ready to say goodbye to you. Thing is that I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to leave you." He admitted, his voice almost cracking as tears pricked his eyes. My own eyes wavered at his words, my heart plummeting to my feet at his admission that he had almost died, and that he would have to say goodbye to me through a letter. Needless to say that I was so fucking glad that he hadn't died, of course. But it broke my heart to hear him say that he hadn't been ready to say goodbye to me.

"Fuck, Joel." I choked before shuffling closer to him on the sofa and cuddling into him, his arm wrapping around my shoulder as I rested my head on his chest.

"I know, baby girl. But I'm here. And I'm here because of Ellie. She saved me, she sewed up the wound, and then got me meds. I wouldn't be alive if not for her. I owe her just as much as she owes me." He mumbled, both of our eyes on the sleeping girl as he talked. I couldn't help but smile slightly, so much love in my heart for Ellie already purely from the fact that she saved my dad. Saved our dad.

"She definitely earned her place in the family, huh." I teased, making Joel chuckle and nod.

"Yeah, but I'm so glad that she's with us now. I love both of you too much to give either of you up. But I promise you that I'm never leaving again. We'll stay here, and we'll all survive together. Just the three of us, baby girl. Just the three of us." He spoke.

"Sounds more than perfect." I whispered, Joel leaning down and kissing my head before looking back at the fire. It felt more than amazing to be back with Joel, and felt even better to have a new sister. I couldn't wait to continue surviving with them, because in reality, Joel had always given me the chance to live, not just survive, and I knew that Ellie would only make that better. And for that, I really couldn't wait.