[ i. just cargo ]

august 3rd, 2033

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THE WARM, SUMMER AIR is heavy and stiff with uncertainty as Lena Ramsey lies in wait, hidden amongst the growing shadows of the partially fallen hideout that she has been instructed not to move from. What she lies in wait for, though, she can only guess. Between the arrival of a friend or a foe, she can do nothing more than hope it is the former but be prepared in the case that her luck finally runs out.

"This is taking too long."

The fragile silence of Lena's inner turmoil is broken by a soft complaint from Ellie Williams. Though the young girl, already so wise beyond her years, does not speak higher than a whisper, the faintest chatter of her teeth seemingly threatens to set off another doomsday. Even Lena shivers when she speaks out loud to her niece next next. She never knows what word might cost her everything.

It has to come one day, right?

"Ellie, please," Lena bargains. She remains quietly guarded, praying that neither of them have to stay in this human deathtrap alone after night falls. "Marlene knows what she's doing. Everything is going to be fine. Just . . . try to keep calm."

"It's been over an hour."

"The city's big. She has to move carefully if she wants to make it back in one piece."

Lena tries to keep her voice steady and calm as she risks a peek through the splintered crack of a partially chipped window overhead. To her annoyance, she can barely see a thing through the thick grime and mold that clings to the blotched, yellowish pane, and she pulls away in frustration. Behind her, similar noises of discontent echo as she hears Ellie gently ransacking through cupboards, knocking empty cans aside. Though the fourteen-year-old is being nosier than Lena would like her to be, she does not try to stop her movements. Lord knows that they both need the dutiful distraction from their tensed reality right now.

And their reality—if Lena is being brutally honest with herself—is quite shit at the moment. In less than 48 hours, Lena has been forced to abandon her apartment and all that she knows for the sake of a promise that carries little fruition beyond a dream.

But even if it were a dream, it is one that Lena refuses to wake from. And now, here she is, lost in the nightmare that has become her very life. Currently, and terrifyingly, she and her niece are alone in the midst of a hostile Boston, right on the outskirts of the quarantine zone. Both girls are tucked away in one of Marlene's old hideouts: an abandoned kitchen freezer located in the back of an old marina-based restaurant. Upon their earlier arrival they were given no instructions beyond a limited statement: to wait for the return of Marlene and her Firefly troops.

Yet even as Lena reflects on the simple task, she knows deep down that they should have never been separated to begin with. Before the split, Marlene had insisted firmly to Lena that they would need weapons for the road. They would not make it where they were going without protection.

But where are they going? Lena does not have the slightest clue of that, either. Frankly, she does not know much of anything—other than the fact that the longer they stay here, the more at risk they find themselves. Lena trusts Marlene to a certain extent, but the longer she takes the more she is pushing her already delicate luck.

Suddenly, beyond the brick walls of their shelter, a familiar crack of violence sifts through the air, freezing Lena's blood cold in her veins. Cautiously, Ellie stops in her rummaging. "Was that a gunshot?" She asks.

Lena is all too familiar with the sound of gunfire. "Yes," She answers lowly. "But it sounded far off."

"Do you think Marlene is in trouble?"

Lena pauses at the question. She does not even know where Marlene is exactly supposed to be in the city, so how is she to assume that the gunshot was not targeted for her? "I hope not," is all that she eventually suffices with.

"What if she doesn't come back for us?" Ellie wonders feebly.

Lena swallows and moves even further away from the cracked window, feeling her exposed skin grow colder as the dying sunlight shifts further and further beyond the city's desolate skyscrapers. As she turns around to face her niece, Lena does not try to sugar-coat anything when she speaks to the young girl. Even before the end of the world, Lena had always been a more glass-half-empty than a glass-half-full kind of person. "Then we go back to my apartment," She informs. Because that is the only other option. Either they make it out of the city tonight, or they go back and forget that they ever tried to leave.

"And then what?" Ellie pushes back, anxiety and irritation both fighting for control of her tightened tone. "Pretend like nothing ever happened?"

"That's exactly what we do."

Ellie scoffs. "That's fucking ridiculous."

"Watch your mouth," Lena warns sternly, but as quickly as the words leave her tongue they have already lost their authoritative touch. Even as she tries to sound condescending, she cannot shake just how much Ellie's spunky, little spitfire personality affects her. She sounds so much like her mother, Anna; it is hard for Lena to keep her expressions of both remorse and awe hidden away when she sees their personalities align.

"You watch your mouth."

And just like that any awe or adoration that Lena once held for her newfound niece is once again washed away, because Ellie acts just like Anna, too, unfortunately.

It has only been two days since their union, but Lena already knows that this—whatever their relationship is—is going to be rocky. Though they are family, there is no trust in the child towards Lena. Truthfully Lena understands this hesitation—she would be lying if she were not uncertain of her niece herself to some extent, too—yet the older woman cannot help but wonder what may have happened in Ellie's young life to bring her to be such a way towards others.

Then again, Lena knows that all relationships take time. Even if Lena knows who Ellie is, Ellie has not the slightest idea about her in return, beyond the fact that Lena is her aunt on her mother's side. Lena Ramsey is the sole member left who knows of her family's history, after the youngest on the family tree has been left in the dark for all these years.

Speaking of being left in the dark, Lena also does not think it is in her best interest to reveal to Ellie that she has watched her grow up from afar just yet. Any feeble trust that may be beginning to form between them would be crushed in the revelation, and times are unsteady enough as it is.

Lena is not doing this because she wants to; she is merely withholding this information for the sake of her niece's safety. At least that is what she will keep telling herself.

"Attention! Curfew is now in full effect. Anyone caught outside without proper authorization will be arrested and prosecuted."

The familiar and automatic drone of the city's PA system speakers begin to blare overhead, echoing off of the tall buildings around them, and it is enough for both Lena and Ellie to freeze in what they are doing and look towards one another. Both of them are more than accustomed to the voice's ruling—but this is the first time that they are both actively breaking it. Never in her many years of living within the quarantine zone has Lena thought to dare stepping beyond its bordered and barricaded walls before today.

Though it was once considered a suicide task, Lena knows that, nowadays, more people than not are risking the unknown on the chance of finding supplies to bring back to their starving families. Many civilians will go out beyond the walls and try their luck at hunting wildlife, but meat is scarce when humans are no longer the only ones hunting fresh meat. Others—who do not trust themselves with a bow or a gun—go out to loot the surrounding stores of materials that they can then sell on the illegal market that runs within the shadows of the zone, hidden in plain sight beneath the overlooking military.

And some people . . . well . . . when they step beyond the wall, they know they are not coming back. Some go in search of other surviving groups, hoping they may be better off in a new location under a new rule. Some try to seek out the Fireflies—Marlene's militia group—though the rebels are becoming harder and harder to find with each day that they are hunted by the military. And then there are those who simply go out into the world to die, knowing they cannot bring it upon themselves to do the final dooming task.

For whatever reason that an individual chooses to go beyond the wall, Lena holds no judgement towards them. People do whatever they need to do, and that is that. Lena finds herself lucky that she has not had to resort to going outside of the quarantine zone. She knows how to make her living from inside—even if what she does is illegal, too.

In the simplest of terms, she is a thief. Light on her feet, and nimble and scrappy with her hands, Lena knows how to make it in and out of an area without ever being seen or heard. Yet rather than steal from the dead beyond the wall, she steals from the living within its close quarters. She steals from her neighbors, from the surrounding buildings, and even from the military lookouts if she is ever given the opportunity.

Her most prized possessions are her endless ration cards. A ration card might as well be worth ten-thousand dollars in the quarantine zone, and people will trade just about anything that they own for a single card. Right now, she has a thick pile of them hidden beneath a floorboard under her bed, waiting to be used. If worse comes to worst and she and Ellie must turn back, at least Lena knows that she can still properly take care of the girl.

"Did you hear that?"

Ellie's abrupt question tears Lena from her daydream and the older woman turns her head in confusion. "Hear what?"

Before Ellie has the chance to answer, the door at the opposing end of the freezer swings inwards and Marlene Lambourne collapses onto her knees through the doorway. Fresh, dark blood splatters where the Firefly leader falls on the hard tiled flooring and Lena's jaw dips with disbelief before it quickly shifts to one of horror as she realizes that another individual is standing right behind Marlene, and it is one that she definitely does not recognize.

Ellie does not recognize the male stranger either. "Get the fuck away from her!" The girl snarls.

Ellie launches forward with a brandished knife, but Lena is quicker and she harshly shoves her niece back towards the safety of the nearby door, giving her the opportunity to chance an escape as she then moves to storm the man herself, hoping to buy Ellie some time. Unbeknownst to them both, another stranger—this one a female—hurriedly follows into the room after Marlene next and points her own gun at Ellie as Lena points her blade in the man's face, forcing him to step back.

"Hands where I can see them," Lena growls.

The bearded man slowly obeys and raises his large, calloused hands up into the thickened air above Marlene's weakened body. Carefully, he takes a cautious step away from the fresh puddle of blood forming at their feet and his firm chest pushes out aggressively, the action attempting to make him look even bigger than he already is. Not once do his steely and darkened eyes leave Lena's own light green ones. The whole time she can feel his narrowed gaze on her every move, watching, waiting for her to strike.

And then he strikes first.

In an instant, the hunting knife has been knocked from Lena's hands with a startled gasp, leaving her defenseless, but she quickly counters with a swift kick to her assailant's knee, pushing him off balance. In such close quarters, Lena knows that she is not the strongest fighter in this combat, but she manages to duck under his swinging arm as he attempts to grab her once more.

As she then tries to go for his own weapon, he shoves a forearm against her chest and—with his entire body weight—launches her back against the wall. Before she can even recover from the harsh impact of her back hitting the brick wall—her thickly-padded backpack, thankfully, taking much of the blunt force—the man is pressed up against her, torso-to-torso, thigh-to-thigh, trapping her in place. The man towers over her, swallowing her with his shadow and weight; he has got six inches, at least, on her. Lena cannot breathe, she cannot see, she cannot even think without feeling him in her presence.

And yet she still fights back as if she is the one trapping him to the wall.

"Is that all you've got, huh?" Lena spits in the man's sweaty face.

The man shifts his bare, muscular arm from her heavily pounding chest to her exposed throat, holding her head back against the cold and gritty wall. "I could crush your neck without breaking a sweat," He snaps back.

"You're going to kill two unarmed women and a child? How fucking pathetic are—"

The riled man pushes harder against her slim throat, effectively trapping her venomous words in her windpipe.

"Stop! L-Let them go," Marlene orders breathlessly. From her place still on the ground, she is gripping her right hip tightly, and her entire palm is now soaked a rich red as she tries to stop further blood loss. She looks wildly between both Lena and Ellie, who are caught in the holds of both strangers, like an animal trapped in headlights. "Now!"

With Marlene's harsh demand, the man begrudgingly releases his grip on Lena, and exhales a huff of annoyance in her face. Lena then sharply knocks him back and away from her, pushing him clear from her field of vison as she stalks towards her niece who has yet to be released. "Get your hands off of her," She growls at the unnamed woman. The stranger merely glares back with a roll of her beady eyes, but still lets Ellie go, nonetheless. "Are you okay?" Lena demands as soon as she has got her hands placed firmly on Ellie's shoulders, securing her safety.

"I'm fine," Ellie clips back sharply as she quickly pulls away from Lena and brushes herself off. Now, her narrowed green orbs are torn between the two strangers behind them. Meanwhile, her little knife is still raised cautiously.

Still standing by the doorway that Marlene initially fell through, the large man stares right back at them, his attention circulating close to the youngest female in the room. "You're recruitin' kind of young, aren't you?" He crudely questions.

The Firefly leader smiles a tired smile that does not reach her eyes. "She's not one of mine," She explains as she clambers back to her feet, wincing in pain all the while she does so. At Marlene's next yelp of pain, Lena snaps back to alertness.

"What the hell happened to you, Mar?" Lena demands worriedly. She crosses back over to her old friend and her hands carefully hover over the bloody wound, unsure of what to do. Lena is the farthest thing from a nurse; she can barely place a bandage on without it falling off mere seconds later. Anna was the medical brains of the Ramsey family, and she never bothered to pass on her wisdom.

"Don't worry," Marlene reassures tightly, even as her breathing is dangerously labored. "This is fixable."

"That's a gunshot wound," Lena argues. "That's not exactly—"

"Don't worry about me, Ramsey."

"Where are the others?" Ellie prods from behind the two women. "The men from before?"

"They're gone. I got us help."

Ellie frowns distastefully at the grimy strangers who still linger near the open door. "Them?" She guesses reluctantly.

Marlene nods tiredly. "Yes. But I can't come with you."

Lena's eyes widen with disbelief as Marlene's attention shifts towards her, likely gauging her own raw reaction. For once, no words suffice for the confusion and terror that Lena feels as this revelation hits her square in the chest, coiling tightly around her heart and seeping deeply into her rattled bones. This was not how today was supposed to go. Fuck, this entire week was not turning out how it was supposed to.

"Well, then, I'm staying," Ellie declares firmly as she places her hands determinedly on her hips. "I'll go back with Lena to her apartment, and we'll wait—"

"Ellie, we won't get another shot at this," Marlene interrupts. "This is the only way that I can guarantee you and Lena a way out of the city—"

"Wait." The man raises a large and guarded hand, and Lena quickly whips around to face him, unsure of what she may find when her hostile eyes meet his own. "We're smuggling them?"

"No," Lena immediately denies, shaking her head, before Marlene can ever begin to respond. There is no way in hell that Lena is putting own her life into the hands of strangers beyond the wall. There is no way in hell that she is putting Ellie's life into the hands of strangers beyond the wall. "No. Way."

"Lena—" Marlene tries.

"We're not going anywhere with these people!" Lena protests.

"You don't understand—"

"I understand perfectly. There is no fucking way that we are going out there without you. We stay here and we live!"

"In less than an hour the city will be swarming with guards," Marlene argues grimly. "My squad did not go down quietly and there are still more of them out there. This is going to get ugly. They will be looking for me, and her, and you."

Lena's insides are twisting painfully with knots and she can feel her steaming hot blood rushing anxiously in her ears. From where she leans back against the cool countertop of the freezer sink behind her, Marlene is still holding Lena's frazzled gaze firmly and sternly, never letting her break away. In the lingering silence Lena feels that she is going to throw up. She knows the devastating price above their heads grows the longer they linger; she also knows just how much this journey matters to Marlene—how much it matters to the entire world.

The fate of humanity rests on Lena's ability to keep her niece alive.

"How . . ." Lena struggles to force the words out, each exhale of breath tasting more like bile than the last. "How far do we have to travel with them?"

"To the Capitol building," Marlene explains. She speaks easily as if travelling to this location is no big deal, but there are miles of wasteland between the quarantine zone and the familiar dome-shaped building halfway across the city. Miles that can cost anyone their life. "There's a crew of Fireflies that will meet you there."

The man's female friend, whose name Lena still has yet to know, frowns. "That's not exactly close," She comments warily, earning a subtle nod of agreement from her smuggling partner. They look ruggedly disastrous standing side-by-side, Lena notes, covered in dirt and dried grime. One side of the woman's face is freshly bruised, as well, and the man does not look much better with dried blood gunked beneath his jagged fingernails. They are fighters, that much is certain, but they are violent, too. They are the type of people that Lena would avoid running into in an alley after nightfall.

And yet here Lena was, having to seemingly sprint off into the sunset with them with the hope that they would watch her back.

"You're capable, Tess," Marlene shoots back. "You hand them off, come back, and the weapons are yours. Double what Robert sold me."

"Speaking of which," Tess now counters. "Where are the guns?"

"Back in our camp. I had them moved."

Tess scoffs. "Well, we're not smuggling shit until I see them," She decides coldly.

"Fine. You'll follow me. You can verify the weapons. I can get patched up." Marlene then points a bloodied finger towards Lena and Ellie. "But they're not crossing to that part of town. I want Joel to watch over them."

The man, Joel, immediately widens his eyes in protest. "Whoa, whoa, I don't think that's the best idea—"

"Bullshit!" Ellie exclaims, cutting him off, even as she unintentionally finds herself agreeing with him. "We're not going with him by ourselves!"

In the midst of all the protests, all that Lena can focus on is that fact that the man now has a name, and it is one that she very much recognizes. Joel Miller. His name has been mentioned through the city's illegal market more times than she can count, and yet in all her time in the zone, she has never been able to put a face to the legendary name. Now that she sees him in the flesh she cannot decide if this is what she imagined of him. Sure, he is one of the best smugglers in the city, but from the rumors she has heard about him, his past is not all the pretty.

But, hell, is anyone's past pretty in what's left of this world? How do you have a clean slate in a wasteland of killers?

"Ellie, you have to trust me."

"I do trust you, Marlene. It's them that I don't trust," Ellie insists. "How do you even know them?"

"I was close with Joel's brother, Tommy," Marlene explains. "He said that if I was ever in a jam, I could rely on him."

Joel rolls his eyes. "Was that before or after he left your little militia group?" He sneers.

"He left you, too," Marlene reminds him. "He was a good man."

Joel does not respond, but Lena can see the war brewing within his darkened irises as he glowers at Marlene. His jaw is clenched tightly; any harder and he might shatter his own teeth with simmering rage. Clearly, the mention of Tommy Miller is a shaky subject, but Lena understands the complexity and frustration, and pain of sibling bonds more than anyone. Lena's last moments with Anna had been moments of hate. Hate for daring the risk of bringing an innocent child into this godforsaken world.

At the time Lena had gotten the last word, but as she thinks about it, she supposes that this is Anna's last way of spewing her own bitter venom. Long, long ago she had wanted nothing to do with her sister's child—of course, it only makes sense that now Lena must do everything beyond this moment with the little girl in mind.

"Just take them to the north tunnel and wait for me there," Tess finally says to her partner. Joel opens his mouth to protest once more, but she cuts him off. From just this little interaction between the pair, Lena immediately sees who is in charge of their criminal dynamic. "They're just cargo, Joel."

At Tess's blunt words, Lena's eyes narrow defensively. "Glad to know that you think so highly of us."

Immediately, never missing a beat, Tess whips back around in Lena's direction. "Do you want our help or not?" She snaps.

Truthfully, Lena does not want their help. She does not trust Tess nor Joel in the slightest and does not count on them to watch her back if she needs protection against a threat. What she wants is for Marlene and her squad of Fireflies to lead them beyond the wall as was planned.

But what she longs for, more than anything, is to be more capable on her own. Lena wishes that she were strong enough to guide her niece to safety by herself, but despite her ability to move and act quickly in a bind, Lena does not even know where the Capitol building is. After the city had been bombed all those years ago, buildings and roads had shifted dramatically. Navigation signs that pointed in certain directions would be useless and familiar paths would be reduced to rubble. The two of them would be walking blind into a trap of hunters and Infected if she and Ellie attempted to take on the unknown of the fallen city of Boston alone.

"That's enough," Marlene interrupts. "They will help you, Lena. You and Ellie will be fine. Now, go. You're losing the daylight."

Lena inwardly winces as she watches her old friend struggle to push herself back upright into a standing position. The bleeding along her side still does not seem to have properly stopped, and she can see it evidently in the paleness of Marlene's usually flushed and warm features. Lena wishes that she could do more to help her, and she hates that they are being forced to part in such a moment of weakness. The last thing she wants is to leave Marlene again, but she knows that she no longer has a choice. Marlene's time on this journey is up, even if Ellie and Lena's own are only just beginning.

"Will I see you again?" Lena wonders gently.

Marlene attempts a smile, but it comes across as a pained grimace. Her hand lifts momentarily, as if she were going to pull Lena close, but then thinks better of it at the sight of the blood that still clings to her ashy skin. "Look towards the light, Ramsey," She murmurs.

Lena frowns at the familiar phrase. She has always hated the Firefly motto. Even though it is meant to be a beacon of rebellion and of hope, Lena knows that the light of the world was snuffed out a long time ago. Humanity has lived in darkness for twenty years. There is no light left for those who remain on this earth.

"Don't take long," Joel bids farewell to Tess. "And you two," He addresses next as he points over to Lena and the little girl beside her. "Stay close. Let's go."

"Sure thing, boss," Ellie mocks under her breath. By the way Joel abruptly tenses as he walks past them, Lena is certain that he heard the little girl's bitter words. He never looks back, though, as he swiftly and silently exits the tense freezer, and Lena has half the mind to believe that he would easily leave them behind if they do not get moving.

"Come on," Lena instructs her niece once she has said her own goodbye to Marlene and gathered up her few belongings into her own little backpack. "Stay in front of me."

Ellie nods her head in understanding to her aunt's words, and moves after the male smuggler without question, but her shoulders remain stiff with caution and fear. Lena hesitates briefly as her eyes linger on Marlene's weary figure once more, but the woman no longer will meet her gaze. Instead, the Firefly is looking to Tess, speaking words that the parting trio cannot hear. Lena holds her breath as she looks away from her bleeding friend and the bruised female smuggler, and then takes one last look around the abandoned Firefly hideout, knowing that she will likely never find herself at this place again. She hopes she never finds herself here again.

And then, finally, Lena Ramsey turns on her booted heel and follows Joel Miller and Ellie Williams out of the humid freezer, up a battered flight of stairs, and back into the dying Boston light.

~~~~~~~~~~

i'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out! life has been really hectic with school and work, but i am officially on spring break so expect a few updates!! i know this chapter is a bit of a filler, but aren't all beginning chapters fillers? they're setting and paving the way for the bigger and hectic narrative ahead!! i promise this story is about to hit the ground running. i am so excited for this, and i am really enjoying writing this story. i just love the journey that is the last of us so much. i'm currently watching my brother play through the first game for the first time and, wow, it takes me way back. he's got a big storm ahead for him, just like lena has a big storm ahead for herself.

so, what are you all thinking of lena ramsey so far? what do you think she will be like beyond the wall? what do you think lena and ellie's dynamic will be like? what about lena and joel? what are you thinking of this story? i'd really love to hear some feedback!

i appreciate all votes and comments! thank you so much for reading! stay safe and well xx

—B.