~Trigger warning.~

It was pretty late at night now, at least 10:49pm or more. We had all of our camp sitting on the wet ground in a moon kinda form, in front of our director.. Matt. This was my second year coming back to this camp and I loved it to pieces, I came here to improve on my flute and meet new friends, which I did! And it was a really fun week, (besides all the tornado's and storms and such.) and I was able to learn a lot of new things.

The director put his hands together rubbing them satisfyingly, and he gave us a serious face.

"Campers, this week has been absolutely outstanding, I know everything didn't go as we thought.. Ahem.. storms.." some of us laughed at his silent humor, i just smiled. And set my chin on my knees relaxing from my extremely long day. We were suppose to be back in our dorm rooms by now, but classes went a lot later than they thought. We had many, many kids at this meeting, more than 150 kids and I was sitting somewhat towards the end of the kids, and I kept looking over to the building with lights on, but being worked on at the moment.

"But, I just wanna say thank you to you all for being so understanding, and able to cope with these unstoppable changes.. Being able to cope with this kinda things in life, is something that's crucial to improving." he explained, my heart started racing, and I was starting to get my anxiety again. I looked away to the guy sitting next to me, he was a popular around here. He was a taller dude, and he had a small face, but he was extremely funny and immature at the same time. He commentated over the directors phrases sometimes to keep comic relief afloat. And I never talked him as a friend, but he seemed really cool.

He looked back to me, and I quickly looked away trying to not have a panic attack.

"This year, the amount of campers that increased is insane, I could almost never believe it. I..." he faded, I felt happy for the guy.. he had made a successful camp and it increased almost double this year and that was awesome, because I wanted to see this place grow and things expand for this place. But that still didn't stop my worrying, and I quickly looked down the pavement that lead away from here, I could almost easily run. I don't know if I can take this right now.

"I.. I had a rough childhood, I was born with a special cancer.. and the doctors almost lost me twice.." he admitted, oh no.. It's much worse than I thought.. I need to leave.. I have to go. I looked away planning my attack to where I was running... I.. I need to leave.. but I need to stay.. there's too much crap happening to these guys to have to deal with me running away ruining this whole moment. I bit my tongue, forcing myself not to get up.

"A-And music, was one of the ways I was relieved of this stress of my disease.. So, I decided I had an idea.." he continue, my eyes keep sliding to anything that could keep me from hearing anymore of this..

"And.. this reminds me of a moment I had with my teacher when I was in middle school, and I don't remember his name, but he use to give us crosswords, or puzzles or whatever got our brains going.." he started, and I had already heard this story , but I was probably gonna break down again to this story.

"and.. there was this one puzzle that he gave us and I could never, ever figure it out.. until I uhm.. looked it up on google of course.." he joked, and more of us laughed, but I didn't.

"And.. a couple years later.. I saw the puzzle again in the newspaper, and I thought of him.. And I decided.. Hey! I should go get some lunch with him  because he was my favorite teacher and I hadn't talked to him in a long time.." he said, pacing in a line and I listened remembering how the story went.

"So, I looked up his name online and I found out.. he died a couple days before I decided to contact him.. "I shivered, looking down. I was gonna run. I was gonna do it. I wanted to do it so bad. But, something was holding me back from doing it. And I couldn't run, even thought it would be so much easier for me.

~The director went on and on about other things, but i'm starting to get shaky and panicky, so I'm going to skip ahead A LOT of his stuff~

"So, as-as a closesure, if you don't mind, if we could hum Amazing Grace?" he requested, Oh my gosh. No, no, no. I tried to hum along but I was tearing-up and I was trying to hide it by caving my head in my legs. I didn't want to ruin the moment..

~After the long song~

"Thank you all so much, for being here.." he said, and I still had my eyes closed from fear and showing my tears.

"You may stand up whenever you feel is right..." he said gently, and I put my head down in my legs, and after a couple seconds, I felt people getting up.. But I didn't.. I needed a hug desperately. I sat there, and I was waiting for the director to come over and ask me if I was okay. I was so close to breaking down into my own, legs and hands until I heard someone say.

"Hey..? Are you okay..?" to me it sounded like Matt so I stood up quickly and hugged him, and I hadn't opened my eye's yet.. 'Cause I didn't want them to see my tears. Until my arms were around him, I felt a weird thing on his back, it was in the form of a "X" but I just diden't really care, the person that was hugging me was hugging me back so I guess they diden't care that I was hugging them, and I continued crying down, only making loud noises to breath or catch my breath, and I pulled away finding it was the boy that was sitting next to me during the speech.

"Oh my gosh..." I laughed cried putting my hands on my mouth, only breathing through my laughter, and I tried catching my breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently.. with his hands together..

"agh... Agh.. Y-Yeah.. I'm fine.." I struggled, trying to talk.

"I'm so sorry, I thought you were..Matt" I continued trying to catch my breath and I was wiping my eye with my hands.

"It's okay.. We all need hugs every once and awhile.." He replied, and I smiled to him grateful that he didn't think I was a total loser for breaking down in front of him. And I looked over to see Matt, watching me in tears.

And I walked over to him and asked him for a hug, and he gladly accepted it and we hugged, the hug that I expected but, I was flattered and embarrassed by hugging the boy unintentionally..

"Thanks.." I said, smiling.. Matt just gave me a heart-warming smile, and I found myself hugging almost all my campers goodbye, and crying along by myself. And that night, I was really sad to say goodbye to some of my friends, but luckily the internets exist so I'm still in touch with my roommate who is extremely nice.. Besides from last year, when I met some really nice people, and they were almost like my best friends, but I forgot to exchange numbers and such with them, and I haven't seen them since, and it sucks... But, I'm glad I could meet my new friends this year...