I wanted to shout that I wanted to continue my journey no more, I would remain by her side forever. Somehow I restrained myself and dig my nails so hard into my palm that I could feel blood oozing out of the cuts.

All because of me. I had been the one who had pierced the fish eye in her swayamvar, and everyone knew what kind of life she had recieved because of me. But sometimes I wonder had I not won her then who would have because everyone had failed before me. She would have lived like an unmarried girl all through life, that was still better wasn't it? 

I had managed to control my tears all through life but now it seemed impossible. Everyone looked at me crying but no one said a single word because all were in the same conditon. They didn't show but they were crying bitterly inside. 

"Bhrata why did Panchali not continue with us on our journey? What wrong had she done? Was it because she suffered all her life? Is she being punished for that?" Bhrata Bheem asked the eldest, frustration ebbing out of his body.

"She is not being punished Bheem, actually she will be reaching heaven before all of us" he answered.

"But still . . . what was the reason?" Sahadev asked this time.

Yudhisthir stayed quiet for sometime and then said "She fell down first because she was partial among all of us".

"Partial? I do not believe it!" I stated in defense of Panchali.

"You wouldn't because she had loved you the most. More than all of us" Yudhisthir said trying to keep his face as still as he could manage while saying that.

I could not believe my ears for a while. Was it really true? I felt happy for a moments but guilt came over me again. So I was the reason of the death of my beloved? I deserved the least love from her, did she love me just because I was the one who had won her? Maybe not because that was too small a reason to love someone.

"So was she punished for loving her husband?" asked Nakul. Yudhisthir simply nodded and I could feel anger bubbling inside me, how could he blame her for that? And was loving a person more was no crime! I loved her the most too would I be punished for that?

"It was Panchali who had kept the fire of revenge burning within us. It was she who had not let us lose our hope all through life no matter what the situation was. She kept us all bonded together and a pure lady like her was never born nor will she ever be born again, our Panchali will be with us in our hearts and we will meet her again for sure in heaven" Bhrata Bheem said wiping the lone tear that was about to run down his cheek.

Sahadev fell down soon after this. All of us wanted to stop and be with him, but Yudhisthir did not let us do so. When Nakul hit a slab of snow and fell, Bhrata Bheem pleaded with Bhrata Yudhisthir to halt for a while. As one lies dying is the time to mourn him with words of praise. As he wept, Bheem recounted his bravery and his prowess. He was the one who had held the earth on the tip of his spike. For rajasuya yajna, he had fought and defeated many Southern kings. And didn't he always have more affection for Nakul and Sahadev, his co-brothers, than for him and me, his own brothers, Bhima asked his elder brother. Which spirit had entered him, such an affectionate brother, and such a virtuous person, and had made him so indifferent and callous to them all, Bhima asked – more "wondered" than "asked".

" Nakul was so very handsome", Bheem continued, "and now he looked pale as death was claiming him". 

But the one to whom his words were addressed was climbing the mountain, taking long steps, without a thought about who was following him and who was dying. 

"Leave Nakul", said Yudhisthir at last "no need to talk about his charms and prowess, which are meaningless when one faces death".  Yudhisthir declares "he endlessly gloated over his charms. Leave him", said Yudhisthira to Bheem.

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