I wake to the sound of arguing. It gives me my first headache of the day and I clench my teeth as I try to sit up.

"You deliberately disobeyed me and look at the outcome! Do you see what happens when you mess with things you know nothing about?"

"Give me some credit. I know a lot about witch craft. Not so much about her."

"Exactly!"

I squint my eyes in the direction of the yelling. Sam is standing with his back to me, while Sophia is sitting in the corner of the room drinking from a bottle with a sheepish and guilty expression. I'm laying on the sofa in the recovery chamber, and everything feels and sounds like a bad dream.

"What was I supposed to do, Sam?" Sophia yells. "Sit back and watch our entire unit die because you refuse to let her train?"

"Yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do because I ordered it. You saw what happened with Milasia and what happened on that bridge. She might be on our side but her power is unpredictable."

Sophia crosses her arms and dangles the bottle from the fingertips. "I disagree."

"It was careless."

"I didn't hurt anyone did I?" I ask quietly.

Sam spins around, eyeing me furiously. I suddenly wish I was still asleep.

"Not yet," he hisses. "Thankfully you just hurt yourself this time. But I don't want you ever training on the grounds of this castle again."

"He's in denial," Sophia mutters.

"I'm not in denial, I'm being rational! This place was not built for witches to practise, the more magic she uses the more she draws attention to us. Do you get that? You're compromising our whole unit, Sophia, I don't know what the hell's gotten into you."

"This isn't Sophia's fault," I say, narrowing my eyes at him. "She just wanted to help. And she did."

I smile at Sophia and she smiles back, only for a second, before Sam glares at her.

"I don't know nor understand this bond that you two have but it is unnatural. You should know the cost of it more than anyone, Sophia. Their kind tore our lives apart, they killed our families without hesitation. I know that you have good intentions but do you think after all of this is over that she'll choose us over her own? Would you?"

"I trust her," Sophia says. "And we need her."

"Trusting her means I can no longer trust you."

"That's not fair, and hypocritical considering you took her along to Arizona but didn't care to inform us, your team."

I sink into the sofa, keeping my eyes low.

"Is that what this is about? You're defying me for not bringing you along on a potential suicide mission? Am I going senile or did I not summon you there?"

Sophia stands from the armchair, anger bursting from her eyes. "And then you sent me away. Because my life was not worth the backlash of this team seeing you fighting beside a witch! I almost died, Sam, for your pride."

"And that was the last time you obeyed an order from me," he whispers. "If you no longer trust in me as your leader then I'd rather you come out and say it."

"You knew Amara was here!" she screams. "I didn't know that. No one told me. Megan didn't tell me. But you knew. I followed your order because I thought you were genuinely concerned for Theresa's safety but you didn't give a damn about either of us."

Sam turns and looks at me. We already had this discussion after I woke up, but to hear it from Sophia gives him a completely different perspective. I had no idea she was holding back this much about that night, that their relationship was hanging by a thread.

"Yes, I knew that there was a chance Amara could be here. But if I knew that she could block Slayers from entering the forcefield then I would haver never. . ." He takes a deep breath and wipes his face. "I have many regrets about that night, but my biggest regret is leaving you to face her alone."

"I wasn't alone," Sophia says. "I'd be dead if I wasn't. Because the one person that didn't leave me, that didn't give up, is sitting right there." She points towards me and I glance away to the nearest wall. "But where were you? You were fighting a bunch of distractions on a bridge!"

"I failed you. Is that what you want me to say? I failed you. And I am working damn hard to make sure it never happens again. That whole night was a setup, Amara was two steps ahead of us the entire time, but as long as this team remains together she is not winning. She has not won."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I think she has."

The silence that follows is hard to witness. Sam looks at me for a very long, intimidating second before he shakes his head and storms out. I don't believe that Sophia truly means that, but it makes me wonder if she isn't the only one to ponder it. What if everyone thinks that and they are just too afraid or proud to admit it? What if Sam even at some point considered his cause to be a losing battle? Do they die fighting? Do they die fighting. . . me?

"I can't believe I just said that," Sophia says.

"I can't believe you said sorry."

"I did!" She holds her head in her hands and laughs. "He's right, there's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Sophia," I whisper, I lean my elbow onto the headboard and I glare at the window. "There's something wrong with him."

"He's been through a lot. He cares about us though; I know he does. I shouldn't have blamed him."

"What has he been through?"

She drops her eyes low and stands slowly. I pick my legs up as she drops beside me on the sofa. She takes a swag from her bottle before she turns.

"So. . . a new Malachi is chosen from birth, usually, even while the current Malachi is still alive. There can only ever be one alive at a time, and they won't become the Malachi until their predecessor dies. Sam's parents found out that Sam was to be the next Malachi when he was eight. Pretty young age to have a future like that hanging over you, right? In our culture, the leader teaches the potential leader, no matter how young. So, after discovering who their son was destined to be, Sam's parents sent him thousands of miles away to this castle to train with a man named Zoran.

"Sam hasn't disclosed exactly what happened in the years he was being trained by Zoran, but his scars speak for themselves. He was under so much pressure and dealing with the added intensity of having to meet the demons face-to-face. He's never really had a life, for the past twenty years he's been forced to defend and put first an entire species. Even though Zoran put Sam through years of hell and agony to make him a strong fighter, Sam still cared for him, sort of like a father figure really. And when Zoran was murdered by Vienna, Sam became the Malachi at fifteen. He used everything Zoran taught him to get revenge, it took a long time, but eventually, he found an opportunity when Vienna was alone. He became the youngest Malachi ever to kill an Elder. Sam was the talk of every Slayer and witch for months, he made them fear him, he gave them no choice. That fear spread to Amara and it made her crazy. So crazy that she led an army to slaughter Sam's family. He returned to Canada with the hopes of showing his parents what he had learned, only to find them dead. That's when he found me and Curtis. And now he is after Amara. Vengeance is a terrible cycle."

I know about that too well. Vengeance has been at the core of my soul for a long time, and I've never been this close to getting it. But now everything has changed. Now I know the truth of who my mother really was. She was a killer. A liar. An eraser. She erased my entire life of knowing my father, no matter how short it was, and twisted it as a way to protect me. My vengeance has always been centred around her, but now it's about my coven. I want justice for them, I want justice for the millions of mortals, I want justice for this world. And even if I do somehow complete Vienna's request and I merge with Amara, that justice will never fade.

"So, Sam will train the next Malachi?" I whisper.

Sophia nods. "Whoever that is. He claims he doesn't know but I don't believe that. I think he's known for a while but he just doesn't want them to know it. He doesn't have to train with someone just for them to be something important."

I raise an eyebrow. "You think it's someone in the unit?"

"Yes," she says quietly. "It's a little obvious who."

"Megan."

"He spent extra time with her, for years. She's so close to his level that it's almost a little too obvious. He invited her into the unit which he has never done. Everyone here had to prove themselves one way or another, but she didn't. Megan is a natural leader, she's amazing, but. . . none of us want that life for her. It would changer her, destroy her."

"You don't know for sure though," I say.

"I'm sure," she says. "With a war this close, Sam has to make preparations for that. And there's no one else he's been training in his spare time. Our culture must sound insane to you."

"It's definitely something," I say. "But I think I'm beginning to understand it."

"Well can you understand it from the ground? You nearly gave me a seizure earlier."

I laugh. "I'm sorry about that. I don't know what happened. I got carried away, I blame the supernatural air."

"Well just let it inspire you, not jump head first over a ledge. Curtis gave you more Crasuel by the way, it healed you perfectly. Hopefully you don't suffer anymore delusions."

"I haven't had any yet." I shrug. "Maybe I'm getting better at this Slayer thing."

"I wish I could say the same." She empties the bottle into her mouth, takes a large gasp and shuffles to her feet. "I'm going to bed, it's been a long day." She takes out her transportation star and grins at me. "Have fun climbing stairs."

"Goodnight," I laugh.

She waves at me and then vanishes. It only takes a moment before the sharp and teeth-clenching pain comes back into the side of my head. I glance over to the chair beneath the window, narrowing my eyes at Vienna's face.

"This changes everything," I whisper.

"It changes nothing," she says, crossing her legs. "There's always going to be another Malachi, just like there's always going to be another Elder. But they can't appoint her as the leader unless she knows she is one. With no one to communicate with the demons, Megan will never believe Sophia's version."

"Have you seen Megan?" I hiss. "She's a walking terminator. If she becomes the Malachi then she could be just as good as Sam. She'll use anything and everything to draw me out."

"So, you wish to kill her too?"

I blink. "No, that's not what-"

"Actually, that could be great for us. If the potential dies on the same day as Sam then there's no more Malachi's. At least not for years anyway. I like your thinking."

"I'm not killing Megan, are you insane?" I say with anger. "I'm not killing anyone. This has gone too far and I'm not doing it."

"You're changing your mind?"

"Yes, no, I don't know! I'm confused."

"I'm confused too, Theresa. I thought you understood what was at stake. Maybe I'm putting the trust of the world in the wrong witch."

"I know what has to be done, okay? But it doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Then get to work. No more time wasting. It starts tonight."

I sigh as I rise from the sofa. It's the first time I've used my legs since flying across the sky and it feels strange. I head towards the doorway which leads to the east stairwell, and I begin the descent to Sam's chamber. My shoulders ache and my head is spinning with frustration and stress. I just want to be free from carrying the weight of so many lies and twisted truths. I just want to know what I am. My mother knew, and she sacrificed her life to protect me from it, but it didn't work. I still ended up here, I still put myself in the line of sight of a demented serial killer. Several serial killers.

As I pause at Sam's door and my hand knocks against the chipped wood, I wonder one thing: was my father a mortal at all?