Nicole

Eating in front of people who reapproach you, is the most nauseating feeling. I am not a picky eater nor can I say I will eat anything, but eating in front of these people I rather not. My brother doesn't seem to be affected by their presence rather he eats a lot more than his usual intake. My brother and I are at the restaurant with my father's side of the family: grandpa, grandma, two aunts, my uncle-in-law, one uncle, and their kids. My uncle has one older son who is married and does not partake in these family events. My uncle is also a widow as well as my oldest aunt has one daughter close to my age. I used to think having a cousin around my age would be fun, but I was very wrong. It only brought me to be isolated. My youngest aunt has a son about 8 years old, if he were any older, he probably would have replaced my brother's birthright. 

Here is our family gathered at a nice restaurant to celebrate my grandmother's birthday. It's ridiculous that I am forced to come. My parents are no longer here and I never felt like a part of this family. Every family event only suffocates me. As everyone finished up their main course, my Aunt Lucia, the oldest girl of the family notified the waiter to start serving the birthday cake they preselected. 

As our table waits for the cake to be brought my aunt Lucia's daughter, Melanie speaks "What about that boyfriend of yours, Nic? I thought you were going to get married soon."

I take a pause and put my spoon down. I know why she brought this up. She probably heard it from somewhere or she just knew she could get to me by mentioning Justin. I also detest it when she calls me Nic. 

"Oh, please don't tell me that you guys broke up. We were all waiting for the wedding you spoke about." Melanie taunts. 

I don't look at her instead I glance at my brother and say nothing. My brother won't defend me in front of everyone but he probably take my side when we talk about it afterwards. 

"How's your career going? Still living with your mother, Melanie?" I rebuke. 

"Nic, why would you say such a thing?" My Aunt Lucia glares at me as she comforts her daughter. 

"Are we not at the same table? Melanie can insult me but I can't defend myself." I look at everyone at the table but they act like they don't know what I am talking about. 

"You brought up a sensitive matter. It's hardly the same thing." Melaine continues our dispute. 

"Sensitive matter?"I start to argue back. 

"Stop fighting!" My grandmother slams the table enough to get everyone to quiet it down. The cake is coming, everyone just stays silent. A few minutes past by and it looked like everyone forgot about our dispute in seconds. But not me. I look at my brother eating cake, I can't help but resent him for not having my back when I need someone to lean on. I didn't notice when Melanie stood up to supposedly take our grandmother a slice of cake. On her way there she dropped the cake near my seat, getting some of the cake on my legs. 

Wake up from my train of thought, I look at my legs with cake. Melaine is apologizing as if she is really sorry, but between her teeth, I can see how the corner of her mouth is smiling. I take a long look at her. A mature person would let it go, and a meek person would just accept the apology but I am neither one of those. I take my glass filled with Coca-Cola and splash it all over her head. I don't apologize, instead, I look at everyone there and head out. 

As I am walking out of the restaurant, my arm is tugged and I am pulled aside by my Aunt Lucia, "What is wrong with you?"

In disbelief, I shake her off and try to keep my cool but my voice comes out a bit loud, "Me? What is wrong with me? I did nothing. I was not the one that brought that up. It was your daughter."

"Mine? How is that her fault? Stop dragging her into your mess. You always do this. You always play the victim and ruin everyone's mood."

I scoff, "Are you listening to yourself? How is it that it is always me? Always my fault!"

"You are a selfish brat. You never learned to behave yourself. Acting like a wild beast with your stupid outburst."

"Me? What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I am not the one acting like a-" I don't finish my sentence because she slaps me across the face. 

"Don't disrespect me. Don't you think about-" I don't let her finish. She slapped me first and as a kid, I let that slide because there was no way I could stand up to an adult. I slap her back. 

"If you want my respect. Earn it. I am not a kid anymore. I can fight back. And this time, let's see who wins. This is the last time you hit me because next time I'll hit you harder." I walk away before she can find the words to counterattack me. 

***

My parents would probably want me to get along with Dad's side of the family, but their malice is greater. My father when alive was hard working man. But I never once saw him take my side. I thought he didn't that his side of the family treated us like outcasts. You would think, that my father being the first-born male in a Hispanic household, his children would be treated with the respect he earned. The problem lies with my mother's skin color. And we came out with her dark skin color. 

Education has brought me a long way in society, even with my family still not accepting me. My skin color seems to affect a lot of people including my own family. It's frustrating. To be constantly at war with the people who should be supporting me. Life is just harder than it should be. 

"Dr. Garza, get ready to present the Amex fingerprint project." Mr. Nelson hands me a folder of documents. I look up from the computer screen and blink a few times. Present? The Amex fingerprint project is the proposal that is scheduled to be presented to the Law firm we are collaborating with. This project is to sign a contract and have the prestigious law firm by our side. 

"Mr. Nelson, that is not my project." I try to remind him that I am not a forensic scientist and that the Amex project is not mine to present. 

"I am aware. But the one in charge of this project," He points the the folder. "Is not here. I am assigning you to present it this afternoon."

"Excuse me, sir. Present this afternoon? 

"Mr. Blythe and his secretary will be here this afternoon to hear our proposal."

"I want to make you aware that it's not impossible but it will not be presented as you desire. This is years and months of work that is not mine. Learning all this material to be presented in about an hour is not possible."

"Like you said it's not impossible."Mr. Nelson leaves and I start cramming every detail I can. There is no way I will be confident with all this material. It's irrational really. I have an hour to prepare a presentation that is not mine. And to make matters worse I am presenting this to the person who is funding this project. I came to work expecting a better flow than my grandmother's birthday dinner. 

When the time came, I found myself in the conference room presenting a work that was not mine. At the end of the presentation, I was surprised that my confidence had got me this far. The final part is what made me stumble. The terms of the contract and the question. As I transitioned to that part of the meeting. Mr. John's secretary shot the first question, "How would this benefit the law firm in court when we already partnered up with another forensic lab?"

As soon as he finished asking his question, I was like a deer in headlights. I didn't even know their law firm had partnered up with another forensic lab. How am I supposed to answer that? I barely know a few details of this project. I take a quiet breath, "Our lab is not a forensic lab, that is just a side branch of what we do here. As far as I know, our specialty could move in that direction."

"Is that the desire of the company?"

"I believe the company's goal is to not only expand its resources but also provide many alternatives to the public such as taking cases into court." I made that up in my mind, but it sounds reasonable. At this point, they are asking for details I do not have. I have to try and keep my answers as vague as possible. 

Mr. Blythe speaks this time, "What about its employees?" 

What about the employees?

He continues, "The reason why I bring the employees up is because in many cases, even if you have the maximum amount of employees hired. That number could change if the forensic branch becomes the laboratory's specialty. With that being said, are the employees willing to start or are they looking for what they have now?"

I look at Mr. Nelson who is glaring at me to say something quickly. 

"This Amex project as your colleagues have labeled, could only work if everyone hired is striving for the same goal. An expansion is great if you have the people to depend on, NOT if the number of employees will be reduced. For this Amex project to work, we need not only management but the leadership, support for these plans, and resources to be used effectively." He finishes. 

I walk towards Mr. Blythe. "I know you are no fool. And you are not blind to what you just witnessed, so let me be the one to explain. This was not my assigned project. I was asked a few moments ago to present this project. I apologize for wasting your time." I leave the conference room. Once I am outside I feel better. This will be the last time I do something as unreasonable as this. 

I hear Mr. Nelson excuse himself and he walks out the door. "What was that in there?"

"I only stated the truth. Are you mad that I said the truth or are you bothered that I exposed you?"

"You were asked to present this proposal." 

"Ask? I wasn't asked, I was forced. Forced to present someone's work, that took years and months. You may not understand what a scientist's work is, but that is no excuse to throw your responsibility on me."

"I will not tolerate your disrespect." Mr. Nelson raises his voice. 

As Mr. Nelson finishes, Mr. Blythe steps out of the conference room. He looks at me and then at Mr. Nelson. He asks Mr. Nelson for a word with me. As Mr. Nelson excuses himself, Mr. Blythe takes a moment to check his watch. 

I don't know what he is thinking and he probably isn't too happy with the fact that we just wasted his time. A man who as busy as he is, there is no way he will let me off the hook. So, I decided to speak first. 

"I know you are probably bothered with my performance back there but I will not make you a false promise. If you want me dismissed, I will pack my things and not protest. But to avoid a dismissal notice, it was against my own will to present a project that was not mine."

He speaks before I continue, "Where is the person assigned the project?"

"I do not have the information. All I was told was that he was not here and I was."

"So you decided to do what was best for the company?"

"I did what I was asked to do."

"Why not reject his request?" He points to the direction Mr. Nelson went. 

"I am only an employee."

"Would you like to be more than just an employee?"

"Unfortunately, all of my hard work has only got in me this far."

"I can help you," I look at Mr. Blythe as he says that. That man had amazing blue eyes like the ocean, handsome features, and an intriguing smile, but he was not the love of my life.