Mark moaned softly, but it still echoed off the walls rather loudly. He couldn't help it. He hadn't showered in months. It felt great to feel the hot water run over his tense muscles, relaxing them. Outside the door, a soft knock drew his attention. Mark froze, listening carefully until Sean asked him through the door. "Mark? Are you alright?" Mark chuckled to himself, calling out to Sean happily. "Ya, I'm great! Come in here!" Sean slowly opened the door, grumbling out a bit darkly. "Mark, I swear... If you splash me with cold water, I'm going punch you in the-" Sean stopped talking when he saw the steam rising from Mark's shower stall. Mark grinned at him, telling him excitedly. "This place has hot water!" Sean released Chica's leash, closing the bathroom door to slip into a shower stall a few stalls down from him. Sean began to strip in his own stall, forcing Mark to look away. The shower stall walls only came up to about their ribcages, but it was revealing enough of Sean to hold his attention. The more he looked away, the more his eyes were drawn back to Sean.

Mark eventually gave up, standing under the hot water as he stared at Sean. Sean hadn't noticed, he was too focused on what he was doing. Sean tilted his head back, letting the hot water rush over his face. Watching the water splash over Sean's pale skin was captivating. He hadn't realized how dirty Sean was, until the water smeared the dirt down his skin. He even noticed that Sean had bruises that he didn't know where they had come from. He had gotten so used to seeing Sean in his baggy clothes, that he had forgotten how lean Sean was. Sean bowed his head, his arms flexing as he reached back to rub the back of his neck. The way Sean's long brown bangs fell forward to blend with the rushing water streaming off his face was almost angelic looking. Sean let out a deeply satisfied sigh that made Mark's reluctant heart skip. Sean opened his eyes, staring at his long brown bangs as he muttered out. "My hair has gotten so long... I really should cut it. Think they have scissors here?" Mark couldn't answer, his mind was a blank. His whole body was looking over every inch of Sean, trying to commit this image to memory.

He barely processed that Sean's ocean blue eyes were on him, until Sean asked him nervously. "Mark? Something wrong?" Mark jerked his head away, turning his eyes to his own showerhead as he mumbled out awkwardly. "Nothing. I just spaced out. Sorry. What did you say?" Sean let out a very light giggle, before replying innocently. "Don't worry about it. Wasn't important." Mark clenched his jaw, avoiding looking in Sean's direction as he grumbled out. "Don't get the wrong idea. I was... I wasn't looking at you." Sean's response was a simple emotionless; 'Mmhmm.' Mark finished washing himself and dressed into the new clothes he had brought in with him. Loose sweatpants and a baggy shirt felt so good. He gathered up his other clothes, starting to make a quick retreat. When at the door, Sean asked him hopefully. "Mark? Can you bring back something for me to wear? Maybe something to cut my hair too?" Without looking at him, Mark nodded. Putting his clothes into the truck, Mark searched the aisles to find the things for Sean.

Collecting a set of clothes that he was sure would look good on Sean, he searched around for any grooming kits. Lucky enough, there was an aisle for travel kits. Taking one for himself, he made his way back. Setting the clothes and a kit on one of the sinks closest to Sean, he moved to another sink to shave his own beard down a bit. He was almost finished, when Sean suddenly stepped out from the shower. Mark's eyes instinctively went to the mirror to look behind him at the sound, causing him to do a double take that led to him nicking himself. Dropping the razor into the sink, he pressed a finger to his neck, muttering out darkly. "Fuck! Warn me next time..." Sean started to walk over to him, asking very concerned. "Shite, are you alright?" Mark extended a hand out to stop him from approaching, averting his eyes as he grumbled out. "I'm fine. Just... Put something on." Internally, Mark beat himself up. Why was he acting like this? It made no sense. His heart belonged to Amy and yet... He felt like his heart was becoming unfaithful.

His torn thoughts and emotions were tearing him apart. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't allow himself to give into these foolish feelings. He was better than them. Washing his neck of the few drops of blood; he saw scissors enter his peripheral vision. Sean cleared his throat awkwardly, asking him in an uneasy voice. "Could you help me?" Mark's eyes looked over Sean briefly to see that he was wearing pants. That helped. Taking the scissors, Sean pulled a stool out from under one of the sinks to sit down on. Mark had never cut Sean's hair before, but he was confident that he could do it. Running his fingers through the long hair over Sean's ear, he found his fingers repeating the gesture a few times. He told himself it was only because Sean's hair was wet, but it felt like a lie. It just felt nice to touch him. Especially, when Sean would close his eyes and tilt his head at an angle. Mark took a deep breath, internally telling himself that he was going to hell. Taking his time, he began to cut his hair short on the sides.

Using the comb from the kit, he tried to remove any lose strands before cutting more. When the sides were as short as he could get them, he moved to stand in front of Sean. Combing out Sean's long bangs to see just how long they were, he asked Sean softly. "Sean... Why do love me so much? All I do is disappoint you..." Sean smirked, chuckling so lightly that he barely heard it. After a short silence, Sean answered in a low defeated tone. "You're my best friend, Mark. I enjoy being around you. Even when you hurt me, when we disagree. I just can't help it. Because I know... deep down you don't mean it..." Mark finished a clean cut, before starting to lower his hands. Sean's eyes finally looked up into his, upon adding out in a heartbroken voice. "Don't bother lying to me... I know why you're still pushing me away. And I hope she is still alive. You deserve to be happy... Just stop pretending that you don't feel anything. Just go ahead and break my heart already. Tell me you still want to be her man." Sean quickly averted his eyes after his eyes started to tear up. Sean struggled to clear his throat, climbing to his feet as he uttered out weakly. "Thank you for the help..."

Mark grabbed Sean's wrist to stop him without thinking. Sean stopped, but didn't turn around. Mark's mind was blank. He didn't know what he wanted to tell him. There were no words. He could only feel the millions of swirling emotions rushing through him all at once. Sean sniffled, telling him in a slightly more collected voice. "Mark. Let me go. I'm ok." Mark's grip tightened on his wrist, the words spilling out of him. "I thought we were in an agreement not to lie to each other anymore." Sean took a deep breath, hanging his head a little as he rushed to get out before the emotions hit his voice. "What do you want from me? You want me to tell you that I'm lonely? That I live with constant regret that I didn't try harder to keep you? I have to lie... Or you won't let me go. Mark, I'm begging you... Let me go..." Sean tried to tug his wrist away, but Mark couldn't release him. Mark could see that Sean was emotionally breaking down. Although, it was the feeling of his own heart breaking that made him hesitate.

The crushing realization that he was just as alone as Sean was. With no knowledge of his family, friends, or even Amy... Sean was all he had. The only thing familiar to him. Mark released Sean, watching him race from the showers. Standing there with Chica in stunned silence, he took a shaky breath. He felt suddenly numb. Everything felt so twisted and painful. Glancing down at Chica, he told her grimly. "I don't know what to do... If I go after him, it means I'll have let Amy go. But if I keep holding onto Amy and she's not alive... I'll regret this moment... Won't I?" Chica scooted closer, leaning against his leg. Petting her head, he glanced at the mirror to look at himself. He looked like his mind was already made up. He could feel it and it hurt no matter what he picked. Staring into his own guilty eyes, he uttered out in a torn-up voice. "I'm so sorry, Amy... Forgive me..." Mark bent down to snatch up Chica's leash, collecting their stuff as he left. Spotting one more thing as he was leaving, he took that too.

Heading for the truck, he set the stuff with his on the floorboards, then loaded Chica in. He didn't have to go looking for Sean. He knew where he'd be. Whenever Sean was depressed or wanted to cry... He'd go to bed. Mark picked up the bottle he found, venturing into the back. Sean was huddled on his bunk, crying softly into his pillow. Mark kept Chica from trying to jump up with him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Sean didn't look at him as he grimly shot out. "Go away." Mark turned the bottle over in his hands, telling Sean honestly. "You're right. I guess, I thought that lying to you would make it easier. Break your heart quicker. But you were always so good at reading me... The truth is that I love Amy... but I can't stop thinking about you... and that makes me feel... like a bad person." Sean rolled over on the bed, but Mark could only stare at the bottle in his hands. Sighing heavily, he continued to say more openly. "I want her to be alive, but at the same time... I want to start over. With you. It was easy to push you away, when I didn't see you as often... but I can't keep running from you now. I'm tired of us hurting each other."

Sean sat up a little on his elbows, asking him a little confused. "I don't understand. What are saying exactly?" Mark opened the bottle of whiskey, taking a little sip, before telling him serious. "I think it's time that we stop pretending." Mark handed the bottle to Sean, then hesitantly reached up to brush Sean's bangs away from his red tinted eyes. Sean swallowed, staring into his eyes like he still didn't understand. Mark brushed his fingers around Sean's ear, before just throwing caution to the wind. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Sean. Sean jerked in surprise, but not enough to break the kiss. Mark waited patiently as Sean warmed up to him, his hands abandoning the bottle to cup his face. Mark let Sean coax him down across the bed, where they laid facing each other and simply shared long kisses. After a few minutes of shared kisses, Sean breathlessly asked him with a worried look. "What changed your mind?" Mark stroked his thumbs across the sides of Sean's throat, whispering to him whole-heartedly. "You did. I don't want to just survive anymore. I want to start living again."

Sean smirked just a little, mumbling out. "Do you always have to hurt me before you say something really sweet like that?" Mark blushed sheepishly, uttering out softly. "I'll work on it..." They shared a brief chuckle, before another passionately long kiss. Mark wanted to take this slow and do it right this time. A small way of making up for the kiss he rejected. Sean's leg draped over his, locking around his waist to pull him closer. Mark was going to try and slow him down... When Chica jumped onto them in her excitement. Squeaking a toy in their faces and stepping all over them, until they both groaned in pain and decided to sit up. Mark pushed Chica back to the floor, scolding her seriously. "Get down." Chica laid down across the floor, squeaking her toy expectantly. Mark playfully pretended to be interested in taking it from her, causing her to hoard it between her paws. Then he looked at Sean to see what he might be thinking. Sean had sat himself up against the wall, twirling the bottle in his lap.

As their eyes met, Sean gave him a warm smile. Mark smiled back, admitting to him hopefully. "Let's take it slow. No reason to rush, right?" Sean gave him a nod, twisting off the cap to the bottle to take a few swigs. Licking his lips after, Sean told him with a chuckle. "Still as good as I remember." Mark rolled his eyes, uttering out as he leaned back on his elbows next to him. "Should be. It has only been a few months." Sean swirled the liquid in the bottle, muttering out in a low tone. "Feels like years though..." Mark patted Sean's leg, telling him sweetly. "Ya... funny how times works like that. Maybe together we'll find a way to make the time pass by faster." Sean snorted, waving the bottle out for Mark to see as he playfully shot back. "Gonna need a lot more of this." Mark laughed, taking the bottle from Sean to take another small swig. Already, Mark felt like things would be much better between them. He just hoped that he made the right decision. Only time would tell. To Be Continued...