Chapter 11

It took a good couple days and a couple more loads of gravel to finish all the driveways. But we finally finished no less than an hour ago! 

By the start of today, I was sick of raking gravel. Each day became more rough for how increasingly sore I was becoming. The last thing I wanted to do was more hard-labor tomorrow. So, I convinced Blake for us to keep working until all the driveways were all done tonight instead of continuing tomorrow. It meant I would get a day to relax tomorrow! It also meant finishing up super late and being twice as sore as usual. 

It was 10:30 at night... and my muscles burned twice as bad as usual. Like they were seriously more sore than I've ever felt them. "I'm scared of doing anymore heavy lifting for the rest of the summer," I said, propping the rake against the garage wall with his. 

"Why? Scared your arms are going to fall off?" 

The garage light showed sweat bleeding through his shirt. God, I could only imagine how shitty I looked. "No, but I don't want to become one of those super buff women. I don't want to be all muscular." Nothing wrong with being strong, but I personally didn't want to end up looking man-ish from it. 

"Yeah, I mean that's realistic enough. Raking gravel is known to condition people enough for them to enter body-building competitions."

Scoffing, I playfully shoved his shoulder as I left the garage. "Shut up, it could happen! If I keep working like this." Turning on my heels, I pointed my finger at him. "I could sue you for it too."

He laughed, following me. "Sue me? For becoming muscular. I want to see you try."

"It would be your fault and it would be against my will."

"Becoming strong in your eyes basically sounds like rape."

"Maybe it is. That's how badly I don't want my arms to inflate."

Facing me in his driveway, his eyebrows raised and he laughed. "Inflate huh?"

Laughing with him, I pulled out my Pall Malls and lit one. "Dang right."

The crickets hummed into the hot night. Well, it felt hot to me. I couldn't wait to take a shower. Well... until I noticed something. 

Once I started to walk home, I looked up the road to all the driveways. They all looked amazing, including ours too. However, just as I reached my driveway, I suddenly stopped in place. Might need another cigarette before I even finished this one. 

I noticed a car parked further down the road. I recognized it as Sid's car. Immediately, going home didn't sound as appealing. I knew he didn't bug my house, knew he wouldn't approach me.... But I suddenly felt like I was in jail. Like I had no control, no room to breathe, even if I go into my house.

So, I didn't go home. Since bashing in rat-face's car wasn't an option, I suddenly turned and walked down to the boat launch. I didn't want to go home, but I was absolutely over this whole 'sweating' thing. Following the left bank as it curved away from the dock, I walked along the grassy bank. I reached Blake's dock, finished my cigarette, put the rest of the pack on the bank. Then without hesitation, I jumped in the water. 

God, felt so good! The water pealed the gross layer of heat and sweat off me. Sighing in relief after I resurfaced, I relaxed in the cool water. It was a little unnerving, being in complete darkness. There were no lights aside from the moon. I still wasn't used to it, yet I couldn't deny how nice it was out here. Nice enough that I tried ignoring the possibility of Sid spying on me. 

Kicking back and enjoying the water, I went under a few more times and scrubbed my face and hair. I let Sid drift from my mind and just relaxed... until I heard a voice. 

"Never thought I'd see the day you willingly got in this water."

Spinning, Blake stood on the dock a few yards away. Hands tucked into his pockets, he smirked when his eyes reached mine. Immediately, my heart jumped. What if Sid's watching? What if he's here? I was swimming, relaxing, and here comes Blake. If Sid was watching, I didn't want him getting the wrong idea again. I didn't want him starting more bullshit. 

Swimming towards the bank next to the dock, I forced a chuckle. "Yeah, yeah, don't get use to it."

"You're going already?" he asked, taking off his sweaty shirt. 

Oh good lord, he looked as beautiful as I expected. Which made me even more paranoid and nervous. "Yeah, just wanted a quick dip before heading home."

"You don't have to be scared. I come out here most nights after a hot day and do the same thing. So it's not like I'm stalking you," he joked. 

"Don't worry, someone already beat you to it," I mumbled under my breath so he didn't hear. Walking up from the water to the grass, clothes heavy on me, I moved swiftly back towards the boat launch. I swiped my Pall Malls along the way. "Anyway, see ya later."

"Yeah, have a goodnight, Ruth," he said before jumping in the water. 

I was slightly conflicted. Why did I rush out of the water? It's not like anything is happening! We aren't dating or fooling around. Plus, rat-face needed proof if we were anyway. So why was I so paranoid? More paranoid than necessary too. I didn't want to admit it, but if Sid wasn't around, I would have thoroughly enjoyed swimming with Blake. Maybe it was a good thing he was around then. 

***

It's not often I get a day off and to myself – during the week without Garrett. So, I took that time to clean the house and get a few chores done. The first was laundry. And it was disgusting. 

90% of the dirty clothes I needed to wash were 'work' clothes. That 90% turned the water completely black before I even started the cycle. My nose scrunched at the sight. So nasty. 

After that load was done washing and drying, I scrunched my nose again. My dedicated work clothes were clean, but many still had stains. I had to debate whether to throw those out or not. I mean yes those clothes would just get dirty again anyway, but I liked starting the day looking presentable. How can I do that with stained clothes? However, it's not like I want to ruin anymore clothes.

Fuck. Guess wearing stuff with stains won't be too bad. It's not like I would be going anywhere in them. I'd be working, getting nasty and dirty in them. It just... ugh, it wouldn't make me feel good. Neither did no longer wearing jewelry, but I didn't want those to get dirty anymore either. Jesus... what was this life-style doing to me?

Well, it was my day off at least. So, I took advantage of it. I put on a casual but pretty yellow dress and put on a few pieces of jewelry. Despite staying home most of the day, I also went all out with make-up too. It made me feel amazing! 

Looking nice though couldn't save me a small emotional riff. I didn't want to do it, didn't want to face it or talk about it. Even though I was sure my dad already knew, I had to call him. 

"Hello?"

"Hi dad," I said, running my thumb mindlessly along the hem of my dress. I was sitting bunched up on the couch, tensely holding the phone to my ear.

"Hey Ruth, how is it going?"

"Good so far mostly. But—"

"How is your little summer job? Find another one yet?"

Since I quit my job at Rockwoods, dad wasn't too happy. Working for my landlord didn't qualify as a good enough job in his eyes.

"Not yet, but I'm still looking," I lied.

He sighed. "Ruth, I just want what's best for you. You need a real job soon. Even though I'm your lawyer and you don't have to pay me, there are still other expenses I was expecting you to cover. Not to mention all your bills, and Garrett—"

"Dad, I'm looking. Until I find one, this will do for the summer. It pays enough and I don't hate my life working for him. Now, can I talk to my lawyer and not my dad?" I asked sharply. 

"What is it?"

"Well... um." Tears welled up in my eyes just thinking about it. Saying it... hurt much worse. I dug my nails into my folded leg under me to hold in my quiver. "Matt wants full-custody. I'm sure you know already."

There was a long pause. "I do."

"Well... what are we going to do?!" I asked with a broken tone. 

My dad was hard on me. However, hearing how close I was to breaking, he started to reassure me. Maybe it wasn't so bad talking to dad instead of lawyer-dad. "Listen, it's going to be hard. Having the kids speak up on what they want will help our case. I'm more experienced so that helps too. Matt is just starting out and the people he has helping him doesn't have the experience I have either. I know the rules, I know the judges...."

Man. Maybe I should've called dad sooner. "I... I thought I was probably going to lose."

"You might. Matt has a lot of his side. Full-custody will be harder for him to get though compared to primary. Just... keep doing good. I think it would also help if you started going to those meetings again."

I groaned and let my head fall back against the couch. I hated – absolutely hated – those meetings. They made me feel stupid and I didn't like sharing to a bunch of strangers. "Dad... I already went to rehab, I already finished the court-ordered meetings. I didn't have to go to anymore meetings after that."

"Yes, but it would look good if you chose to continue. It would make me feel better too. I'll even go with you to some like I used to. Irene would too if you'd rather."

"Dad... I hate talking about myself. It's even weirder if my dad and sister would be there."

"Well, as long as you don't talk about your sex-life like before—"

"I was bored and everyone else had boring stories that day! Sorry for spicing it up." 

He sighed. "Anyway.... Ruth, please. Going would help prove to the court you're a capable mother and have changed."

"It makes me uncomfortable."

"So will losing your kids."

"Alright, alright. I'll go next week."

"Good. Don't worry or stress about anything. I need you to stay focused on doing better. Keep busy like you have been. Maybe try to quit smoking while you're at it."

"Now you're getting greedy."

That phone call make me feel better than I expected about my chances of beating Matt in court. However, I was also now annoyed. Meetings once a week... ugh.

***

Blake felt like giving me the rest of the week off. We kicked serious ass with the driveways and felt I deserved a break. Plus, he worked the rest of the week and I told him I had a personal project I wanted to tackle anyway. When I first moved into this house, Garrett voiced wanting a blue room with monster trucks. So I did my best to deliver by the weekend. 

And after several distractions and my natural laziness... I delivered my best. I painted two of the walls a deep blue and bought a couple Grave Digger posters to hang for him. I moved his bed and dresser around as well (yes, I allowed Garrett to sleep in the bed now too like I was; Blake was right and the beds couldn't be that filthy). Anyway, to say the least, Garrett loved his newly decorated blue room. 

He screamed and ran through his room, pumped up and excited. Jumping up and down on his bed, he pointed at the posters. "That's so cool! Grave Digger!"

It was satisfying, seeing how happy and excited he was. Absolutely worth the work. But like the boy he was, Garrett calmed down a little later and was ready for a different form of excitement. "Mom! Mom? Can we go see Blake today?"

"No sweetie."

"But I want to see his bird!"

"Go in the backyard. You'll find plenty of birds."

"Those birds suck."

"Well, then those birds think you suck too," I said. 

He chuckled. "Please mom. What about later on?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, maybe later." 

Unlike most times, Garrett did not forget about 'later' like I thought he would. Though I was the one who painted his room, all he wanted was to see the parrot. I couldn't blame him, but it did get to me. I just wanted to make him happy. Just like before, that meant signing on for something I wasn't comfortable with. 

The plan was to stop by Blake's house, see Sherman if possible, then head home shortly after. That did not happen. 

Standing in his living room, I watched Garrett on the couch. He pet the white fluffy bird that was perched on his arm. Blake sat next to him with a relaxed smile on his face. Not sure if I should be pleased or annoyed that Blake just happily let us interrupt his day. I would be annoyed. "Sorry to stop by like this. He just really wanted to see Sherman."

"It's okay. I wasn't doing anything."

He was too nice. "Really? You weren't doing anything?" It drove me crazy how he could just let us happily interrupt his evening. 

"I mean I was going to go out on the canoe, but it's not a huge deal—"

"You have a parrot and a canoe?!" Garrett exclaimed. 

"I do!"

My excited boy turned to me, all excited! "Mom, can I go out on the canoe? I've never been in a canoe."

I looked between the two of them on the couch. I was just glad I wasn't dragged into it. "Well...." We've never been on a canoe. Was it safe? I'm sure he would be with Blake. "I don't know."

"Please mom. Please," he said, looking down and petting Sherman again. 

I looked to Blake. He was turned to my son, but his head was tilted towards me with a small smile. Catching my eyes, his smile widened. So warm and sweet... and clearly still somehow fine with us intruding even more. Glancing to Garrett, I said, "You will have to ask Blake if it's okay."

"Blake? Can I go with you on the canoe?"

He smiled. "Sure. I'll let you row too if you want."

"Whoa really?!"

"Yeah. But you need to wear a life-vest of course. I'm sure your mom would love to come too..." 

Once again trying to drag me into things.... Not this time. "No can do."

"Mom is scared of boats."

He looked back to me for a moment. "Nothing wrong with that. I won't be out too long with him, Ruth."

"I'm not worried. I'm sure he will be safe." I smiled. 

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Thanks for reading and keeping up on the story with me! I really appreciate all the support and feedback. I know it might seem a little slower compared to my other works, but I am enjoying it (more than I expected honestly). It helps that things are about to go a little deeper regarding her problems and her relationship with Blake... Thanks again!