Lady Therese De Beauharnais of Roche

16 October, Year 32 of King Frederick V of Monrique's reign

Court of the Lady Justice, Bordeux

Monrique

"You want me to examine you today?"

Her Honour Lady Helene stared down at me from her seat at the high table in the empty courtroom, incredulous, as she contemplated my rather unusual request.

Other Lady Justices in training under her mentorship were clamouring to postpone the examination date to allow them more time to revise for it, and here I was, begging her to push it forward to today.

She was finding it difficult to understand.

"This afternoon, to be more specific, Your Honour," I answered quietly, "if you have some time available on your hands, and are willing to grant my request, of course."

"The question of my time aside," she leaned forward, frowning, "are you even ready to take the exam today? I would like to remind you, again, that this is your finals, my dear – one that you have been working towards for two years now. If you take this exam without sufficient preparation, simply because you want to get it over with as soon as possible, all of that hard work might go to waste."

"As you said, I have been dreaming about, and working towards this exam for almost two years now, Your Honour," I answered softly, "and I do believe that I am ready for it."

She was still frowning, as she digested my words.

In the meanwhile, I continued. "If you are not free in the afternoon, I can come in the evening as well – "

"- and make us both miss Lord Testalt's engagement? Absolutely not," she cut me off, "why do you want to sit for your examinations today? What has happened that you cannot wait for two more weeks to sit for them on the stipulated date?" Her aged eyes studied me.

I met her gaze, and allowed the vague answer I had so carefully rehearsed roll off my tongue. "I am leaving Bordeux tonight due to other commitments, and may not be returning indefinitely."

"Other commitments?" she mused, almost to herself, her eyes still on my countenance.

I remained silent.

After what felt like a long time, she took a deep breath. "I should be free to examine you in the afternoon," she remarked quietly, "before that, however, I would like to know exactly why you want to push back your examination – "

I tried to answer again. "Aye, Your Honour, I told you – "

"Nay, my dear," she shook her head, her expression absolutely serious, "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, if you please."

A ghost of a smile unfolded on my lips. "I feel like I am under oath myself."

"You are avoiding the question," she reminded me.

"I received news that my father is even worse in health than before I left Roche, Your Honour," I gave up, "it would appear that my younger sister has not been entirely honest with me in her letters regarding his health."

Releasing a huge breath, I continued. "I know this is very sudden, Your Honour, but I must go to him at once. The worry is eating me from inside out," I trembled, "if anything happens to him – "

Her eyes softened, and began to fill with compassion. "Then go ahead and visit your Papa, child," she murmured, "and please do not worry about the examinations at this point. You can take them after your father is well again - "

"Nay, Your Honour," I bit my lip, and shook my head, "I gave him my word that I will only return to him after I complete them, and I do not wish to break that promise. Please?" My throat was clogged up.

At that, she rose from her seat, and walked down towards me to pull me into a gentle hug. "I understand, my dear," she remarked softly, "I understand. Say no more. We will hold your examinations at 14 00 hours sharp in this very courtroom, and I have no doubt you will excel. Your father will recover, and he will be most proud of you. Have faith."

For once, I allowed her to hold and comfort me. I closed my eyes, terrified and anxious as I had never been before in my life, feeling warm tears well up in my eyes and stick to the back of my eyelids.

***

Later in the afternoon, I stepped out of the Castle, clutching my law notes and books to my chest, well and truly lost in my thoughts, as I proceeded towards the Court of the Lady Justice for my examinations.

With every step I took towards my destination, my mind replayed all the concepts I needed to remember, and I took a peek at my notes every now and then to make sure. All the while, my heart thudded constantly and quickly in anticipation.

Nothing must go wrong today. Nothing.

When I was about to turn a corner on the way, however, I collided against someone, causing my books and notes to fall and scatter all over the ground.

I knelt down to the ground, dismayed. "Watch where you are going!" I snapped, "I had arranged these specifically by pages..." I picked up the pieces of parchment on the ground one by one, which were starting to drift away from me due to the breeze.

"By God, I am so sorry – Lady Therese?"

Looking up, I found a familiar, honey blonde young man blinking me, contrite.

I bit back a sigh. Truth be told, I was hoping to avoid Lord Testalt for the rest of my time in Bordeux. Regardless of how kind he had been to me thus far, his engagement today was going to be the final nail in the coffin holding one of the many futures I knew I did not deserve, but still wanted so badly.

This whole day was going to be nothing short of painful.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I shot him one of my usual glares in response.

At once, he held his hands up in surrender. "I am sorry, my Lady. Here, allow me to help you," he knelt across me, and began to gather my books and my notes.

I offered him a curt nod. "Thank you."

We worked in silence for a few moments, before he cleared his throat. "What brings you here, of all places, my Lady?" He gestured to the courtroom yonder.

"I have an important appointment in a few moments," I answered evasively, "how about you?"

Thankfully, he did not press on my reluctance to answer. "I was going for a walk by myself outside," he murmured, "I have a lot on my mind."

I was not surprised. There were only a few hours left to his engagement. If I still knew this man as well as I thought I did, he would be questioning himself a thousand times this very moment whether he was doing the right thing by agreeing to this engagement – as he usually did with every major decision he was about to take.

"That makes the two of us," I mumbled under my breath.

He caught it, and a ghost of a smile wobbled on his lips.

"Ned," I sighed, "your engagement will go well. Stop worrying."

His blue eyes were distant, and for once, he allowed me to see exactly how worried he was about his engagement, how badly he wanted everything to run smoothly for once in his life.

"How do you know?"

"I was your biggest adversary, and I have already thrown in my white flag," I answered softly, "now there is nothing and no one standing in your way to your happiness. See?"

With great deliberation, I took out a white handkerchief from my girdle, and dropped it dramatically in the space between us, watching it float gently down onto the bed of snow beneath our knees. The moment it touched the ground, I held both my hands above my head in the universal gesture of surrender, and contorted my countenance to form an exaggerated expression of grief.

As I had expected, a rich, deep chuckle escaped his throat, as he shook his head at me in amusement. "You were ever the one for histrionics, Tess."

I simply smiled. A comfortable silence fell between us, one free of the earlier tension, as he continued to help me pick up the pieces of parchment. When he gathered my notes together, however, his gaze fell on their contents, and his forehead creased in confusion.

"Criminal law...property settlement...division of assets..." he read softly, glancing up at me, "these look like documents from the Court of the Lady Justice."

I stiffened. "There was no need for you to read them."

"I did not mean to. A few words merely jumped out at me," he explained, surprised by the sudden change in my tone, "are you...are you studying law?"

I did not answer him. Gently tugging the stack of parchment from his hands, I placed them above my books, and carried them and rose to my feet.

He stood up as well, undeterred. "You rarely read for leisure," he remembered accurately, "are you pursuing law as a vocation, Tess?"

For once in these two years, his words carried no judgement or prejudice, as he put forth the question to me.

Still, defiance ran through my veins. "What if I said I am?"

He simply gazed at me, although his eyes widened slightly in surprise.

A bitter smile crossed my face. "You think me unworthy of being a Lady Justice," I whispered, "because I have betrayed, deceived and harmed you and many people in the past. Am I right?"

He considered my words, tilting his head. "Actually, all those would make you a perfect Lady Justice," he pointed out, "no criminal would be able to sweet-talk his or her way out of punishment. You would easily see through them."

Was that a compliment or an insult?

"Why, thank you, my Lord," my voice was dripping with sarcasm, "I am most flattered. Good day to you." I strode past him.

"Tess, hold."

He caught up to me, becoming serious. "If this is truly what you want to do with your life, then I am very happy for you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You have always analysed, and thought out, everything through on your own before you come to any decision," he hurried to explain, "and you stick to it, regardless of what society or anyone tells you. I feel that this is a vocation that will suit you."

For a long while, I was stunned into silence. Those who knew of my decision to train as a Lady Justice were few, and those who approved of it were even fewer.

I had never expected Lord Testalt to be one of them.

"Why do you look so shocked?" his forehead creased, "I merely told you what I thought, like I always have."

I shook myself out of my reverie. "I know, and I appreciate your honesty," I answered quietly, and hesitated before, "and truth be told, I am going to the courtroom now to take my final examinations to become a Lady Justice."

"Oh, I see," he was surprised, as he smiled slightly, "well, all the very best. You had best be on your way, then. I do not want to make you late on my account."

I returned his smile with a faint one of my own. "Thank you, Ned. Enjoy your afternoon."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement.

As I turned to walk towards the courtroom, I noticed him bend down to pick up the white handkerchief I had dropped earlier in front of him, his baby blue eyes returning to their earlier turmoil.

***

"Thomas Richard Delaborde! If you move one more time, I will not bring you to your uncle's engagement."

Huffing, I attempted to tie Tommy's cravat, as he wriggled and squirmed and jumped for all it was worth, his tiny features set in an unhappy frown.

Thank the Lord the cravat was the last of his garments. Getting him into his new, dark blue suit for the evening's festivities had been an exhausting struggle on its own, which had involved an intense chase around my bedchambers.

"Tessie, I do not want a cravat," Tommy complained, tugging at the cloth around his neck, "it itches! Why do I have to wear it?"

I batted his hands off the cravat before he could undo my hard work. "Because it is your uncle's engagement ceremony this evening, and you are expected to dress well for the occasion."

"Expected by who?" he demanded.

"Expected by me, and the rest of your Oncle Ned's and Auntie Evie's friends who will be in attendance tonight," I narrowed my eyes at him, "goodness, child, boys your age have already learnt to dress themselves, and here I am, still tying your cravat for you!"

"Tess, do not be vexed with the child," Liv called from behind me, laughing, "that cravat looks just as uncomfortable as our corsets."

"What is a corset?" Tommy wanted to know.

As Liv burst into even louder laughter, I raised my eyes to the heavens above. "A corset is a garment designed to...improve women's posture," I bent the truth, "but in reality, it is a painful, torturous object I am forced to wear on a daily basis, even though I do not wish to." I shot the child a wry smile.

Tommy's eyes glinted with mischief. "Let me forgo my cravat, and I promise not tell anyone if you choose to forgo your corset. How about it, Tessie?"

"Nice try, child," I rolled my eyes, as I finished tying the last knot on his cravat, "but I am a good girl, and I will wear my corset. And you will wear your cravat like a good boy too." I tapped his cravat.

He scowled.

"I would have taken that deal if I were you, Tess. A corset-free evening sounds like an exciting prospect," Liv chortled away, as she moved about the chambers, "by the way, would you like me to keep your books together with your clothes in the same trunk?" One of her arms held a number of my gowns, while the other held a stack of my law books.

"Thank you, Liv, but I will pack my things myself," I sighed, standing up to face her, "there will be time after the engagement ceremony."

"Well, I am already ready for the ceremony," she gestured to her costume for the masquerade-themed engagement ball that evening, "and I have free time on my hands. I would like to help you pack."

"But – "

"Besides, I would rather you leave Bordeux earlier than later," Liv insisted, "you are looking to travel at night, Tess. The streets are unsafe enough in daylight."

I could not disagree with her. We had almost been killed by that carriage in broad daylight recently.

"All right, all right," I gave in, "but please do not pack the books. I may need to come back to Bordeux to study again if I fail my examinations."

Liv, and even Tommy, who had been glaring at his cravat in the looking-glass until then, released loud groans at that.

I drew back at their reaction, surprised. What had I said now?

"Tess, you have been going on and on about the exam all evening," Liv sighed, "by God, stop fretting. You studied hard, you went in prepared, and you did your best. Now move on."

It was difficult to. I had been able to adequately answer Lady Helene's questions in the oral and written sections of the examination, but the fear that I might not have done well still lingered at the back of my mind.

I hated being uncertain.

"What if I made a rash decision to take it today?" I could not help but worry, "mayhap Lady Helene was right. Mayhap I should have taken it after Papa recovers – "

Tommy tugged at my gown insistently until I looked at him. "Tessie, you will do well," he assured me with all the confidence of a five-year-old, "I asked you questions before your exam, and you could answer them all. That means you are very smart." He dragged the word 'very', and nodded vigorously.

"Tommy, you could barely understand the answers I gave you to those questions," I pointed out dryly.

"Which is why you are very smart," he was quick to retaliate, "because your answers were so complex that I could not even understand what you were saying."

Liv chuckled, and I broke into a weak smile. "You are right. I can achieve nothing by complaining about the exam now," I conceded sheepishly, before looking down at Tommy, "but I truly do appreciate your attempt to cheer me up, mon ange. Thank you."

Hope entered his baby blue eyes. "Enough to let me take off my cravat?"

I began to laugh out loud. "Not a chance."

***

I tilted my head at the looking-glass.

A towering young woman stared back at me, her unblemished, heart-shaped face expressionless, her large, ocean blue eyes lined with kohl shining with the light from the candles lit around her, her lips full and naturally red. A silver, floral tiara was weaved into the rich, golden blonde tresses cascaded down her back to her waist, and the simple blood-red gown that she was wearing hugged her torso snugly without appearing too tight, before falling into waves from her hips.

I was Aphrodite to the life, and I knew I was beautiful. However, as I had been coming to learn these few years, that fact had never held any real value.

"You forgot this, Tessie," Tommy held up a silver mask towards me.

I took it from him, and fingered it absent-mindedly, before placing it on the table. "I will wear it later," I assured him, "come, I shall bring you to your Oncle Ned's chambers. He would like you to accompany him throughout the engagement ceremony."

Before he could answer, Liv walked into my bedchamber. "Tess, are you ready yet? Her Royal Highness wants to see – mon dieu." She paused when she saw my reflection in the looking-glass, awed.

Her Royal Highness? Was Jules here?

"I will take that as a compliment, Liv," I smiled slightly, "you mentioned Jules is here to see me?"

She nodded, gesturing to the door, and within a few moments, my very pregnant cousin waddled unsteadily into my bedchambers, carrying a rather large box in her hands.

Even before I could move, Tommy had hastened to drag a chair from a corner of the room towards her.

"Sit down, Your Royal Highness," he bade her, smiling, "and let me carry the box for you. It looks very heavy." He held out his arms.

I smiled in approval, extremely proud of him.

In the meanwhile, Jules sank onto the seat, and leaned slightly to kiss the child's forehead. "Thank you, darling," she gave him a soft smile, "and do not worry about the box. I can hold it."

She glanced down at the box she was holding, and released an inaudible sigh. She was still smiling, but her brown eyes were unfocused, and she seemed to be deep in thought.

My forehead creased in concern.

"If you wish to speak to Tess alone, Tommy and I can leave, Your Royal Highness," Liv suggested hesitantly, "the engagement is about to begin soon, and Lord Testalt must be waiting for Tommy in his chambers."

Jules glanced up at her, grateful. "Thank you, Lady Olivia."

Tommy waved at us as Liv took his hand, and walked out of my chambers. When the door closed behind them, I turned to Jules.

"I see you managed to break out of imprisonment, cousin dearest," I observed wryly.

Jules made a face. "I only succeeded because the Queen is busy with the preparations for Ned's engagement," she answered quietly, "my Ladies-in-waiting are risking their positions for me as we speak, keeping the Queen busy and away from my chambers while I am here."

My smile faded. "What is so important that you had to go through all this trouble to see me?"

"There are a few things I wish to discuss with you," she began, "in person, and before the engagement begins. Or more importantly, before you leave Bordeux tonight." She narrowed her eyes at me.

I stilled. "You heard."

"He is my uncle too, Tess," her voice trembled slightly, "I sent the Castle Physician to Roche this morning. I have instructed him to ride with all speed, and with luck, he will reach your home before nightfall. You will write to me regularly of Oncle Tom's progress under his care, or Lord help me, I will travel down to Roche myself on horseback to check on him." She was very, very serious.

"I will write to you," I promised, "and thank you...for sending the Physician. I hope at least he will achieve what many have been unable to all these months." I released a bark of bitter laughter.

She took my hand, and squeezed it. "Me too."

A long silence reigned in the chambers, before she eventually shook herself out of her reverie, and continued speaking.

"Next, about meeting those heiresses tonight," she sat upright, "there is a small problem. Is it true you turned down Nick's offer for protection a few days ago? Did you refuse the bodyguards he assigned you?"

My eyes widened. Good Lord, this woman truly had eyes and ears all over the Castle.

I nodded, holding her gaze.

"Do not worry. I understand why you refused," she assured me, "and I would have done the same if I were you. However, Nick does not know anything about your petition - nor do I intend to tell him until the time is right - and therefore, he does not understand your need to be discreet."

"He will find one way or another to have you watched for your own safety while he investigates Rex," she warned, "so please be careful when you meet the women later, all right? Ensure that all of you remain out of his sight."

This was a problem I had already anticipated – only, I was afraid that Rex was having me watched, rather than Nick.

I had sent word earlier to all the eighteen heiresses who had arrived at the Castle today, and advised them to leave the ballroom at different times and take different routes to the location I had fixed for our gathering – and reach there by 21 00 hours with utmost discretion.

A wry smile played upon my lips. "Duly noted."

"Good. Now that that is clear," Jules sighed tiredly, running a hand through her curls, "there is a favour I need to ask of you."

"What is it?"

She glanced down at the box she was holding. It was held in a plain brown sack, tied together by strings, with a scroll attached securely to it. She stared it for a long while, deep in thought, before she held it up towards me.

"What is this?" I queried curiously.

"I will not be able to attend Ned's engagement later, Tess," a ghost of a smile played about her lips, "will you please give this gift to him, and my well wishes on my behalf?"

I went still. I had no wish to approach him and offer him my congratulations that he and I both knew I would never sincerely mean. The only reason I even decided to come to his engagement was for the sake of the petition, and I was planning to avoid him and Lady Evangeline at all costs while I was there, in any case.

It should not be too difficult at a masquerade ball.

"Why me?" I frowned at her, "you can ask Nick, or Lisa to – "

She shook her head, sighing. "Nick and Lisa will not leave me in peace until I explain everything about this box," she chuckled in weary amusement, "and I am too tired to argue with the either of them about why I cannot."

"And you believe I will not ask you about it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You have dealt with secrets all your life," she answered softly, "so I know you will understand, more than anyone else, when I say this is one that I wish to keep to myself for the time being."

I did understand. Yet, I hesitated.

"Tess, I need Ned – and only Ned – to open this and see what is inside," she emphasised, "will you give this to him on my behalf?"

I scowled. "Jules – "

She cut me off before I could protest, pushing the box towards me. "Tess, please," she requested urgently, "it is imperative that this box reaches him. Please give it to him during the engagement? Please?" Her brown eyes were beseeching me.

"Stop making those puppy eyes like Tommy does," I muttered, rolling my eyes, "I will give him the damned box. Happy now?"

Relief washed across her face. I stumbled slightly when I accepted the box from her, surprised at the weight of it.

"Good Lord, woman," I studied the box, "what in the world did you put inside this?"

She smiled vaguely, placing a hand on her belly. "Your last resort."

"My last resort?"

She stiffened. "Stop asking me questions," she looked away from me, "now, I must go before anyone finds out I am not in my chambers. Have a good evening, Tess." With that, she rose from the chair, and waddled away towards the door.

When the door closed behind her, I quickly took out the scroll attached to the strings, and unrolled it. I held it up against the candlelight, to read the few lines scribbled on it in Jules' distinct, and messy penmanship.

Dear Ned,

My heartiest congratulations to you and Evie on your engagement. My well wishes for your happiness are always with you. I am sorry I am unable to attend the ceremony, but rest assured, Nick is coming today on my behalf, and he bears lots of gifts for the both of you.

This particular gift, however, is only for you. Please do not allow Evie to see it.

I know that your journey to this day has been fraught with lies and betrayals, and I know this engagement is one of the first steps you are taking to move on from them. But the key to moving on is to first settle the past, and you, my friend, have much settling to do. Years' worth of miscommunication, in fact.

By God, if you had received this box and its contents when you were supposed to, this day would never have come.

It is still not too late. I leave this box in your hands. What you choose to do with it is your business, and I will meddle no longer. But please, be careful, Ned. What you decide next will affect three lives, including your own.

Your friend,

Jules

When I finished reading, a hollow feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. She had revealed very little within her cryptic lines, almost as if she knew I would read them, but still, I had gleaned a good idea of what the box could possibly contain.

And I did not want to find out if I was right.

With that realisation, the box became a thousand fold harder to bear.

***