Lady Evangeline of Warwick

2 December, Year 32 of King Frederick V of Monrique's reign

Bordeux Castle, Bordeux

Monrique

"John, those curtains are not fully open, and there is still a bit of dust by the corner," I called out, "and Kenneth, those portraits on the wall are all askew! Did you not arrange them properly after you repainted them?"

John nodded. "My apologies, my Lady! I will get to them right away."

"The paint on the wall was still drying a few hours ago, my Lady," Kenneth answered, running towards the wall, "I will arrange those portraits now."

"Good," I smiled tersely, as I looked around, "oh, and Howard! Have you arranged all of Lord Testalt's collection of poetry on his shelves in alphabetical order?"

Howard stopped in his tracks, his arms full of books. "I thought milord Testalt preferred his books to be arranged by genre, milady?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you know what genres any of those books you are holding belong to?"

"Nay, milady," he admitted.

"Neither do I," I strode past him, "so just do as I say."

It was in that manner that I was hurrying back and forth across Ned's chambers, commanding the Castle staff left, right and centre. I wanted everything to be perfect. Ned was coming back to Bordeux after almost a fortnight, and I wanted to ensure -

Has the shortcrust apple pie finished baking? I should go to the kitchens and check its progress -

"Goodness, slow down, my little hurricane," a pair of arms stopped me by the shoulders before I could reach the door, "and breathe. Your face is extremely red."

Panting slightly, I glanced up to find my sister-in-law, Lady Alyssa of Louvre, beaming at me. Her emerald eyes were twinkling with amusement, as they regarded me at the moment.

"I would ask if you need any help, but everything seems to be running smoothly here," she remarked, "do not fret so much, Evie. Now come with me to my chambers. You need to sit down, and have a glass of water in peace."

Before I could protest, she looped her arm in mine and dragged me out of Ned's chambers.

I pushed a stray curl behind my ear, as I walked with her. "Lisa, do I look all right?" I asked her anxiously, "my hair - "

"You look adorable," she cooed, pinching my cheeks.

"Lisa!" I whined, as we climbed down the stairs, "what I meant was, do I look sufficiently presentable to welcome Ned? He must be reaching Bordeux soon - "

Lisa burst into laughter, when we reached her chambers. "Aye, aye, little one, you look presentable. A new gown that matches your eyes perfectly - one that I selected for you, if I may remind you - some jewellery, neatly braided hair, a beautiful countenance, and of course, that blinding smile," she listed with a grin, "anything else I might have missed?"

I chuckled, as she led me into her rooms, and sat me down on one of the chairs near her tea table. She reached for the jug of water on her bedside table, poured me a glass, and pushed it firmly into my hands.

"I am a little nervous, I am afraid," I was sheepish, as I sipped on the glass of water, "I have not seen Ned in so long. Do you think he would have missed me as much as I have missed him?"

"Well, surely you would know that better than me," she pointed out, amused, sitting across me, "he has been sending you letters every couple of days, has he not?"

"Aye, but they have been rather short," I confessed.

"Short letters?" she was surprised, "that does not sound like him. Ned usually writes pages and pages to describe even the smallest of events."

"Mayhap he is extremely busy?"

Lisa did not seem convinced. "What has he been writing to you about?"

"Oh, the usual. News on how Tess is doing, or any mischief that Tommy has been up to with Nick and Clara, or the health of the late Duke, and so on," I recalled, "he writes very little about himself. Or about me."

Her emerald eyes grew serious. "Evie..."

I knew what she was going to say. My friends had been saying it for as long as I could remember - that I was a fool to enter this engagement in the first place. They were all convinced that Raymond Fourier's heart would always, always belong to the beautiful and dangerous Therese De Beauharnais.

I was well aware of it too.

Ned himself had told me that he needed some time to move on from her, from how she had hurt him in the past. He had been truthful with me from the very beginning, when our parents had first decided to arrange our marriage - and I rather liked and appreciated that honesty.

Truly, in these few months alone, I had grown extremely fond of him. He was trying very hard to put the past behind him for a future with me, and I could feel his affection and concern in every little thing that he did for me.

If he was willing to put in the effort to build our relationship, then I should, as well, yes?

I shook my head at Lisa now. "I know what I am doing," I assured her with a weak smile, leaning forward to pat her hand, "do not worry about me."

Lisa bit her lip. "Look, Evie, I have grown up with Ned and Tess," she sighed, her emerald eyes swirling with turmoil, "I have said it countless times, and I will say it again - you clearly do not know, or even understand the sheer depth of the bond that they share - "

"Mayhap not completely, but I do have a vague idea," I murmured, feeling unease brew in the pit of my stomach, "I have read all the letters she wrote to him in the ten years he lived in Osterlund."

That damned box of letters Tess had given to him during our engagement.

Truth be told, I had stolen the box from him out of pure curiosity, but now I wished I never did. Reading all five hundred of her letters had made me feel as if I was intruding on something private, something sacred. They held a myriad of emotions, weaved intricately within each of her words, that she rarely displayed in the present day.

I was not even the recipient of those letters, and yet, they had left me gasping for air, and my heart lodged tightly in my throat. For a long while after I finished reading them, I had been frozen where I sat, unable to do anything else but stare at them.

Anyone else in my place would have burned those letters at once, and tossed that box into the Guillame Sea. It was the logical thing to do. I should have tried harder to hate Tess, tried harder to keep her out of mine and Ned's life. She had no place here now.

But I could not. For the life of me, I could not.

So I returned the box of letters to Ned. I returned it, in spite of knowing that if he read them and realised exactly how much she loved him, he would return to her side without another thought, regardless of what we had now between us.

The prospect frightened me more than I would ever care to admit, even to myself. Ned was the first man I could truly see myself falling in love with one day, and growing old with. I did not want to lose him -

"Oh, Evie," Lisa's soft voice cut into my thoughts just then, "my poor, poor child - "

The loud neighing of the horses from below drowned out her voice. I turned towards the window, and saw the royal carriage rolling in through the front gates, and approaching the courtyard.

"He is here," I breathed, jumping out of my chair, "he is here. Lisa, I will speak to you later. I need to go now."

With that, I picked up my skirts and sprinted out of her chambers.

***

The moment the carriage door opened, a familiar five-year old jumped out and stretched. "Good Lord," he was mumbling to himself, "I hate carriages." He kicked the wheels, scowling.

I began to chuckle, and walked towards him. "Good morrow, darling."

He glanced up at me. "Auntie Evie," he broke into a tired smile, and gave me a small bow, "what is for breakfast?"

I lifted him up from the ground, and settled him in the curve of my hip. "Would you like to hazard a guess?" I grinned, "a small hint - 'tis your favourite." I whispered dramatically in his ear.

His eyes widened in anticipation. "Sweetmeats and spiced milk?"

"Aye," I laughed at the expression on his face, nodding, "along with some sugared fruits, shortcrust apple pie, eggs and bacon. All is ready in the dining hall."

"Good, because I am hungry!" he exclaimed, leaping out of my arms, "thank you, thank you, Evie!" He hugged my legs tightly, before sprinting into the Castle.

In the meanwhile, Nick had already alighted from the carriage, and was helping the footmen carry their trunks up to the top step of the front flight of stairs.

My forehead creased. Where was Ned?

"Nick!" I called out to him once he had finished helping them, "where is Ned? Did he not come with you and Tommy?"

He bounded down the steps once more towards me. "He did, Evie. I just woke him up," his grey eyes were swirling with turmoil, "mayhap he fell asleep again." With that, he walked to the carriage and leaned in through the window, no doubt to shake his friend awake.

I felt unease settle in my stomach yet again that morning, as my forehead creased in concern. It was highly, highly unusual that Nick was awake in the morning when Ned was not -

At that moment, Nick all but dragged a bleary-eyed Ned out of the carriage, holding him by his upper arm. He kept a firm grip on him for a few minutes, and watched him, until he could stand without swaying.

Nick then turned to me, offering me an exhausted smile. "He is all yours," he mumbled, before he hurried past us into the Castle.

I turned to look at Ned once more. His baby blue eyes were rimmed red and ringed with dark circles, as he slowly rubbed them in an attempt to become accustomed to the bright light from the sun.

I approached him tentatively. "Ned, are you all right?"

He blinked down at me, his eyes heavy with sleep. "For most part. I am exhausted," he covered his mouth to yawn, "I could not sleep a wink on the journey back to Bordeux." He ran a hand through his hair.

"You have not slept in two days?" I was incredulous, "why?"

His gaze grew distant. "I have a lot on my mind."

Before I could ask him what was the matter, he shook his head at me, a request not to question him any further, and offered me his arm. I relented, taking pity on him, and allowed him to lead me towards the Castle.

"In any case," he attempted a faint smile for my sake, "how are you doing, Evie? Have you been keeping well?"

"I am well, thank you," I broke into a grin, as we climbed up the stairs to the doors, "but busy, as always. The preparations for our wedding are in full swing."

He smiled at me again, although it did not quite reach his eyes. "That is good to hear," he murmured, "is there anything I can help with?"

"Well, I would rather you have your breakfast and take a good nap first," I eyed him with some concern, "after that, if you are free, I would like to show you the guest list that Mama and I have drawn up, and some designs for the wedding invitations. Mayhap you can tell me what you think of them?"

"Certainly, we can look at them together after breakfast," he agreed, "have you had yours yet?"

"Nay, I have not," I admitted sheepishly, "I thought I would wait for you and Tommy, so that we can all dine together."

He sighed in disapproval. "Evie, there was no need to stay hungry - "

"I have not seen or spoken to you both in almost two weeks," I reminded him, as we crossed the threshold of the entrance of the Palace, "I would like to spend some time with you."

He inclined his head in a gesture of surrender, as we headed towards the dining hall. We walked in silence for several moments. While he was preoccupied with his own thoughts, I took the opportunity to observe him.

Something was not quite right with him. He was unusually reserved, for one. He was listening to me attentively, asking after me, as concerned as always, and yet, I could not shake off the feeling that he had left a part of him behind in Roche.

Was I overthinking this? Mayhap he was simply tired. Mayhap -

I could stomach the silence no longer. "How have you been?" I asked him gently, "after..." I trailed off uncertainly, as I tried to gauge his mood.

It took him a moment to return to me. "I am as well as one can be, under the circumstances," he cleared his throat, "it has been a difficult few days, especially so for Tess."

I did not miss the flash of pain that crossed his eyes upon mentioning Tess's name. His shoulders tensed, and his jaw clenched, as if it had triggered a memory he did not want to remember, but was also reluctant to forget.

"I truly am very sorry about the Duke's demise," my voice was soft, "how is she coping?"

"She is slowly recovering from all the...recent events," he answered quietly, "but she will be all right with time. She is the strongest person I know."

I was truly stunned into silence for a few moments by the amount of emotion in his voice. By the time I could recover, we had reached the dining hall.

Ned stopped at the entrance. His wide eyes slowly took in all the various dishes arranged on the table, scrutinising each one with interest, before they landed on Tommy at the head of the table. The little boy was already happily gorging on his meal, and waved to us when he noticed us.

"Good Lord, Evie," Ned was amazed, as he turned to me, "did you make all of this?"

"Why, yes," I nodded, "with some help from the staff, of course."

"Well, they look wonderful," he murmured, with almost child-like wonder, "thank you. I hope it was not too much trouble."

"It was no trouble at all. I should warn you that looks can be deceiving, however," I answered wryly, "you should try the dishes before you thank me. I made some of them for the very first time."

A ghost of a smile unfolded upon his lips. "I am certain they will be delicious," he declared, "come, let us eat." With that, he tugged me towards Tommy.

As we walked, I continued to gaze at his profile. I had missed him so much, and of course I was more than happy that he had returned, but...

This was not the welcome I had imagined.

The homecoming I had in mind ran along the lines of me flying into his arms at the courtyard. He would then hug me and spin me around, in front of everyone, without a care about propriety. He would tell me that these two weeks away from me felt like a lifetime -

At times, I hoped for too much. I created fantasies in my mind that were utterly and completely unrealistic. In truth, Ned had no taste for dramatic displays of affection of any sort - he preferred small gestures, the simple, meaningful things in life.

On the other hand, I would appreciate any display of affection at all, however small -

I could no longer ignore it. The cold, hard truth was that, what I had feared since the moment I had returned him the box of Tess's letters, was happening right before my eyes. He was drifting further and further away from me. I was losing him, little by little, day by day.

But then again, how could I lose someone who had never been mine to lose?