Lady Katherine Harrington of Johanne

25 December, Year 1 of King Nicholas IV of Monrique's reign

Bordeux Castle, Bordeux

Monrique

I fell in love with an Emperor, and I almost murdered a Prince. A former Queen dragged me to the dungeons, and a newly anointed King pardoned me earlier today.

It has been an exciting few months.

The Emperor and the Princess both testified at my trial. The Princess, especially, gave a fierce and well-prepared argument in my defence, leaving most of the jury stunned, Tess amused and Queen Eleanor very much incensed.

Although I know Nick and Tess would have ensured my release either way – I hear Richard has been yelling at everyone since the moment he regained consciousness, that his injuries are no fault of mine – I am still touched that the Emperor and his sister came so far to stand up for me.

I am currently waiting by the corridor for them, while they are meeting Nick, Jules, and their newborn daughter.

"What are you thinking about?"

I look up from my hands, to find the Princess striding towards me. Her cheekbones are still slightly yellow, due to her healing bruises, and her right arm is still in a sling. Nevertheless, she climbs swiftly onto the window ledge, and sits next to me, dangling her legs over the edge as I am. It is only a first-floor window, and her feet are almost touching the ground.

"You, actually, Mistress Hohenstaufen," I smile faintly, "thank you for coming when you did. I am not entirely certain I would have been released without yours and Sebastian's testimony, and I am most grateful."

"You had better be," she grumbles, "I have dreamed for the longest time about visiting your beautiful country, and now that I am here, I have to hide like a fugitive from former Queen Eleanor."

The twinkle in her eyes tells me she is merely jesting, and I chuckle.

"She cannot do anything to you now. She is no longer Queen," I shrug, "you can roam around Monrique as much as you like."

I break into a grin, as an idea occurs to me. "If you wish, you can come home with me to Johanne this week," I offer, "you can even visit the infamous Guillame Port, which everyone seems to covet." I add wryly.

She grabs my hand. "Do you mean it? I can explore Roche?" she demands, holding her breath, "I can come with you to your home and meet your family? And your little brother who comes up with those wonderful knock-knock jests?"

"Of course," I laugh, "I would love to show you around, and my family will be more than happy to meet you."

"Thank you," her sea-green eyes are alight, "Brother-mine can come with us too, once King Nicholas deems it polite leave Bordeux."

"Nick will not mind," I assure her, chuckling, "if I know him and Jules as well as I think I do, they will be waiting for the guests to leave so that they can spend time with Yara in peace."

"Indeed?" she is surprised, "I did not expect that. I find your new King very personable, truth be told. And he is much easier to get along with than his twin."

She scowls, and that dampens my mood at once.

"I would rather not talk about Richard, please," I sigh, "the very thought of his name brings me back to those horrid dungeons."

I shudder, recalling my two-week imprisonment. I do not wish to live through that again, even in my memories.

"Too late, because here he comes," the Princess mutters darkly just then.

I hear footsteps behind me even before I can turn around. She tries to swing her legs over the windowsill, so that she can leave, but I grab her forearm.

"Nay, Mistress Hohenstaufen," I tell her firmly, "stay."

I turn around, to find Richard standing below, his grey eyes swirling with turmoil. He inclines his head at both the Princess and me in greeting, but he says nothing. I notice a slight bulge near his stomach, under his white shirt, which is where I suppose I accidentally stabbed him.

Silence stretches between us.

I am the first one to break it. "How are your injuries?"

"Healing," he assures me quietly, before, "how are yours? Natalya?" He asks us both.

The Princess answers him with a curt nod, nothing more.

"We will be fine," I shrug.

He takes a deep breath. "I would like to speak to the both of you, if you do not mind," he is hesitant, "can I join you?"

The Princess raises an eyebrow. "That depends. Can you climb?"

He does not answer her. Instead, he places two hands on the stone windowsill, and heaves himself up, with great effort. Once he is seated, he swings his legs over the ledge, and scoots over such that he is squashed between us.

She inches away from him and firmly turns her head away, huffing under her breath.

In the meanwhile, I am impressed. "Good job, old chap."

"I try," a ghost of a smile unfolds on his face, before it fades away, "Kat, I am so sorry about your imprisonment. I demanded my parents to have you released the moment I woke up, but – "

"I heard," I lean against the wall, "your mother and I do not see eye to eye on many things, but I would have done the same if I were in her position. I do not blame her."

"But you blame me," he guesses correctly.

"Of course. You fucked up, Richard."

"Me? You should have never followed me to the pleasure house, or enquired around about Dela in the first place," he shoots back defensively, "it was none of your business – "

"Touché," I agree, "but then again, none of us would be in this mess if you had been honest with me – and with Mistress Hohenstaufen – from the very beginning."

He starts to speak again, but he stops. "I cannot argue with that," he concedes, "but - "

"But what?" the Princess demands, turning to face him, "how difficult was it to tell the either of us that you are sleeping with my handmaiden, and have fallen in love with her?"

"For the last time, I am not in love with Dela, Natalya," he shakes his head tiredly, "and I am not sleeping with her."

She throws her hands up in the air. "We are going in circles."

Richard seems to almost wrestle with himself for a long while. A myriad of emotions – uncertainty, discomfort, and even downright fear – plays across his countenance.

Eventually, he gives up. "But I...I did fall in love with someone else."

I hear the Princess snarl under her breath in frustration, but I remain calm. I guessed as much.

"That is all?" my forehead creases, "you could have simply told me. Of course, I would have probably raged at you for a few weeks, but I would have eventually helped you marry the woman you are in love with – "

He looks away from me, and his grey eyes begin to fill with tears. "Nay, Kat," he mumbles, "I fell in love with another man."

I almost choke on my own spit. "With a man?"

He jumps, startled by my exclamation. "Not so loud!" he hisses, and looks around us in paranoia, "do you want me to be arrested, stoned by the whole country, and then castrated for depravity?"

I fall silent at once, and grow rigid where I sit. Past his shoulders, I see the Princess' eyes widen to saucers – in surprise, or horror, I cannot tell – and her mouth opens and closes like that of a fish.

"Y-You are in love with a man," I repeat, trying to understand.

"Aye."

"Like how a woman loves a man?"

He barely manages a nod.

"So you are attracted to men?" I cannot believe the words coming out of my mouth, "and women?"

"Nay," he murmurs, "only men."

"But that is sacrilegious," the Princess eventually finds her voice, "Leviticus 18:22 states that thou – "

His eyes are glassy. " – shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind; it is an abomination," he finishes for her, "I know."

I have never been devout, but I do vaguely remember that the Bible condemns all unnatural desires. Personally, I have no strong opinions on it. The Bible may dictate the code of morality for people, but the holy text itself is filled with unimaginable atrocities that I would never condone, under any circumstances.

But then again, I have never heard of such a thing -

"Who is it?" she dares to ask now, despite herself.

"His name is Derik," he replies quietly, "he works as a stableman in Amöneburg Palace - "

Her eyes grow even wider. "Dame Delores's older brother?"

"You know him?" he is surprised.

She nods. "He fought nail and tooth to be allowed to sail with the men that Brother-mine sent along with Queen Eleanor and her entourage for protection, when she dragged you and Mistress Harrington back to Monrique," she recalls, "most of the staff assumed he merely wanted to travel outside of the Longbournian Nations for once, free of charge."

"He actually hates the sea. The waves make him very sick," Richard says softly, "he came here for me."

I am slowly trying to process this. "He must...love you very much."

He nods without looking at me.

I observe him in silence for a few moments, as my mind tries to come to terms with this. At the same time, I do not miss the quiver of his lower lip, the dilation of his pupils, the clenching of his fists on his lap.

Despite myself, I hesitantly reach over, and cover one of his fists with my hand. "What are you scared of?"

When he turns to me, his eyes are gleaming with tears. "I am afraid that I disgust you," he whispers in anguish, "that you hate me – "

"What do you think?" I ask softly, "forget the Bible for a moment. Do you think you have done something wrong by falling in love with another man?"

He is quick to shake his head. "I love Derik, Kat," he whispers, "how can something so pure and beautiful be considered wrong in the eyes of God?"

I do not doubt him. The emotion in his voice is utterly sincere.

The Princess frowns. "If you are so certain about what you feel, then why are you – " She stops, and her sea-green eyes go out of focus.

"Mistress Hohenstaufen?" I am concerned.

She stares at Richard. "Mistress Harrington and I are not the first to hear of this, are we?" her lips barely move, "you have told someone about Derik before. And whoever it is, did not take it very well."

"Correct," he swallows, "I confided in Mama when she demanded why I had rejected Natalya's hand in marriage."

"I thought she would understand, like how Dela had accepted Derik," he bites his lip, "but Mama was devastated. She promptly brought me to church, had me pray on my knees, and we spoke with Father Robert for hours. I was made to promise them both that I would never speak of this again, and would continue to follow the Bible's teachings."

"And how did that work for you?" she asks sadly.

"I tried to change, for Mama's sake, truly. The last time I had seen her this distraught was when my brother James had betrayed us - and I did not want to put her through that torment again," he releases a tired breath through his lips, "so I threw all of Derik's letters into the fire, and I pushed him out of my mind. I spent all my free hours in the church."

He gazes at me. "I also proposed marriage to you," he adds, "I knew you were in love with me, and I somehow managed to convince myself that I could come to love you with time. You were, and still are, my dearest friend. On hindsight, it was a shitty move."

"It really was," I agree dryly.

"I could not go through with it in the end. I was missing Derik terribly, and the very thought of a life without him was unbearable. Try as hard as I might, I could not change how I felt about him," his voice breaks, "eventually, I learned to accept myself for who I was – even when the rest of the world, and my own mother, were not prepared to."

"But of all people, you deserved the truth. There were many times I tried to shore up the courage to tell you about it," he whispers, "but you were so, completely happy about our upcoming nuptials, that I did not want to be the one to destroy it. Also...I was deadly afraid you would react the same way Mama did."

I squeeze his hand. "So you fled."

"And so I fled, back to Amöneburg," he takes a deep breath, "back to Derik, who was extremely angry with me for ignoring his letters for months. However, when I told him the truth about what happened in those months, and how I have left everything behind to come and live with him here for good, he forgave me."

"So I worked during the day as a horseman for a merchant," he continues, "and stayed with Derik by night. Neither of us wanted to be seen publicly for fear of execution."

"Dela has been helping you, I assume," I realise, "you pretend to sleep with her, so that you can meet Derik secretly in her rooms."

He nods. "Her rooms are the safest place," he tells me, "no one else comes in there at night – not even the Pleasure Housekeeper. At least, until the both of you followed us in." He remembers.

The Princess closes her eyes in dread. "I really owe Delores an apology."

"I owe you both an apology, and more," he says quietly, "I truly am sorry for everything that I put you through. I know it is no excuse, but I did not...I did not know what else to do, under the circumstances."

I remain silent. I have been searching for these very answers for so long, and they are just as difficult and painful to digest as I had been expecting them to be, if not more.

It will take time.

However, now that they are in my hands, I am slowly beginning to realise that I never needed them to forgive him. That is something I have already done for myself, a long time ago.

I am free. I have always been free.

In the meanwhile, the Princess encloses his other hand in hers, and takes a deep, staggering breath. "I forgive you."

"Thank you," he whispers.

"So do I," my voice is wry, "although I am still annoyed with you." I scowl at him.

"As you should be," he is swift to surrender.

"Good," I nod, "so when can Mistress Hohenstaufen and I meet your...your – " I pause, searching for the right word.

What do I refer to Derik as? Suitor? Beloved? Partner?

"Amour?" the Princess supplies helpfully.

Richard's eyes widen to the size of saucers. "Are you serious? You wish to meet him?"

"To be completely truthful, I do not want to meet him. I still think it is wrong," she is staunch in her opinion, "but I am rather curious about how the both of you met for the first time, and fell in love." She smiles guiltily.

He raises an eyebrow. "I can tell you that, if you wish."

"I do not trust you, you shithead," she narrows her eyes, "you have lied to me too many times before."

"Fair enough," he rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"I, on the other hand, would very much like to meet Derik," I tell him matter-of-factly, "and see for myself if he is good enough for you. If he is anything like you, however, you had best stay far and away from him." I warn.

"He is an angel," he promises, "most of the time." He adds as an afterthought.

I smile in amusement.

He returns it with a hesitant one of his own. "Are you truly all right with this?" he asks me, "with me?"

The uncertainty in his voice breaks my heart.

"Richard, you are my friend, above everything else," I tell him firmly, "I do not understand why you love Derik – and may never will - but I am on your side. I am always on your side."

He does not say anything. He has no need to. In a very natural gesture, he wraps both his arms around me, and pulls me against him in a tight hug.

As I hold him in my arms, I could have sworn I felt a tear drop splash on the crook of my neck, and vanish.

***

A/N: Yay, quite a number of you were right about Richard being gay!! I am super proud of you all for picking that up from the earlier few chapters :) To those who did not expect this turn of events, and are now staring at your screens wondering what the hell just happened, well...surprise? :p

I know all of us have a range of opinions on the LGBTQ rights movement, and of course, we are entitled to them. After all, each of us comes from different walks of life, and we have drawn different takeaways from our own unique experiences and upbringing. With that being said, I feel that we should at least listen to the opinions of those around us, and try and understand where they are coming from - even if we do not agree with them. 

This does not just apply to the LGBTQ rights movement, but also to controversial debates over feminism, religion, gun control, and many others. Sitting on one side of the fence, with our mouths wide open and our ears shut to people around us, believing that we are always firmly in the right....well, it is equivalent to living under a rock.

Ignorance is not bliss. It is actually quite dangerous. 

Anyways, this is the last official chapter of the book before the epilogue, and I hope it (satisfactorily) wraps up all the events in present time. If I missed anything out, or if you have any suggestions on how I can improve certain stuff along the course of the book when I eventually get around to editing it, feel free to comment here, or PM me on either Wattpad or Insta. 

I have not been replying to your comments in the last few chapters (which I will get to as soon as I can!!), but I have been reading through them, and I have taken note of your feedback! I really appreciate all the support and suggestions, guys, please do keep them coming in :)