Crushes. Everybody has had at least one crush. It might have been some cute classmate or somebody from a book. It is normal for people to adore somebody, even if they don't really know them that well.

My dear friend is two and a half years younger than I am. It isn't as bad as some might think because you get to know younger people as well. And that was how I met him. His name is Julian and he is quite good looking. Since I met him a few years earlier, he had always adored me. It wasn't like I didn't notice because I always told him, that he was a little bit too young for me. 

Nevertheless, he never gave up. Last year in January, we were at this party. It was organized by a group of firemen and you had to pay not only an entrance fee but also for your dinks. It was like any other party and my friends and I were all pre-drinking at my place. I always enjoyed parties like these because they had awesome bands. Another Bonus Point was that you got to meet tons of new people. 

After several drinking games and a bus ride to this other village, we were finally arriving and meeting my friends classmates. Julian was standing there and he was shy as always. I lost them all after a few minutes, because I saw another group of friends of mine. All my friends were always complaining how I got lost at parties. It wasn't my fault, since I enjoyed to talk to everybody and they never waited. 

I decided to go to the bartender and get something to drink. I was already tipsy, when I finally saw my friends in the crowd dancing. I made my way towards them, and we danced for a while. Since there were so many people and most of them were drunk, we showed off our non-existing dance skills. 

After a while Celine asked me if I wanted to go outside to catch some air. It was a code for smoking a cigarette. We made our way through the mass and smoked a cigarette. A few other people joined our small circle and after a while I decided to head back inside since it was incredibly cold outside. After all it was winter and there was snow and ice basically everywhere.

Julian was standing next to the door. He was all alone so I decided to talk to him for a little. He asked: " Do you want to play a game?" I nodded. "Well, I have a coin. If I win, I get a kiss from you. And if you win I will buy you a drink" I agreed, since this sounded fair. I knew he had always wanted a kiss and he wasn't that bad looking, just a little too young for me. "Well, heads means you loose and tails means I win" I looked at him and started laughing "I will lose either way". He looked at me like a puppy looks at you when you eat something delicious and it doesn't get his share. "Damn, why do you have to be so smart even when you're tipsy?" He sighed. 

I looked at him and I decided to play anyways. "Okay boy. Let's flip the coin". You can't even imagine how happy he looked. Obviously, I lost and he got a small kiss on the lips. Afterwards he looked like the happiest boy on earth and I felt as if I had done a good deed. 

I didn't really see him at this party afterwards, but I was sure he had a great time.

I saw him at a couple parties in the following year, but it wasn't until New Years Eve when we had our next real encounter. Well, once he came to a party my class had in order to gain some money for our trip to France, but he was more than shy that day.

On New Years Eve, my friends and I decided to go to his village for our celebrations. They had a small cabin and there were about 30 people there. It was a really small gathering. We arrived and after giving them some bottles of booze, because that was the entrance fee, we had several peppermint shots. We were already tipsy before that, and to be honest the whole evening was a blur. A lot of things happened, but that will be a different story for later on. 

Nevertheless, I talked to Julian and we were having a great time. We talked and after a while we went outside. Apparently, we made out. But I didn't really remember it the next day. You can think I am a hoe now, but like I said: so many bad things happened that evening, that I basically drowned myself in alcohol.

Julian never really talked to me again since then. It was because I went home with some other guy that night and even though we didn't sleep with each other, that dude claimed we did. Julian was heartbroken and one of his friends even asked me how I could do this to him. 

But the worst thing about this whole situation is that I lost a good guy who admired me quite a lot. I hope he finds somebody who is as amazing as he is.