Word Count: 2031

~Akara

We didn't get very far.

At least we've made it out of the Scarlet Province, from the looming city that terrifies me. But what terrifies me more is sitting in the same space as Marek and Tai. Thankfully they haven't spoken the entire nine hours we have been travelling, preferring to sit in seething silence, which I like just fine too.

Rain started soon after leaving the city, but now that dusk has fallen, has turned into a raging storm. We all mutually decided to stop at a nearby village for the night, which may be the only thing we can agree on for a while.

Marek stays close to my side as we wander into the inn. It's small, but it will do for one night. I'm eager for sleep too, exhausted from travelling and worrying about Marek and Tai all day.

Tai walks up to the front desk, while the rest of us linger back. "We will take five rooms."

"I'm sorry sir, we only have two rooms," she responds, gaze darting between him and us. There are three imposing men in here that would terrify me too, so I can't blame her. And Tai is staring down at her expectantly with that intense emerald gaze of his.

"How many beds are in each room?"

"Two singles in one room, and a double in the other," she says. I sigh, knowing that another dispute is going to arise between Marek and Tai about sleeping arrangements again. I'm tempted to make them take the double bed together.

Marek steps forward, and the girl flinches. Little does she know he would never a lay a hand on her, and that she should be more frightened of the man with the black curls.

"We are going to need more beds than that," Marek comments.

"We have an extra mattress that can be set up on the floor of one of these rooms," she offers meekly. It's clear there isn't going to be any further resolution to this issue. I'm tempted to go out into the storm and sleep within a tree rather than risk more issues.

"So, who is going to stay where?" Tai questions, folding his arms over his chest. I try to ignore the prying eyes of the girl over the desk, who suddenly looks willing to offer herself as a volunteer to sleep in the double bed with either Marek or Tai.

"I'm sorry, but I can't sleep in the same room as Tai," Nakoa says, looking on the verge of panicking if we forced her.

Tai frowns. "Nakoa..."

"After everything, I need some time," she tells him. She feels more strongly about this, but I know she doesn't want to cause a fight now, considering how volatile Tai has been recently.

"Me too," Zavian mutters.

"Well, I'm assuming Marek doesn't want to be in my room either, so unless someone wants to sleep in the rain, Akara, you're with me," Tai says, unable to keep the smugness from his tone. He completely unbothered by the wrath the emanates from Marek, who appears moments away from murdering him.

"Fine. I'm tired," I grumble. I don't feel like arguing, and if I dealt with Tai for many nights before, this should be no different.

Marek grabs my arm as I walk past. "Come get me, if you need anything."

The intensity of his gaze makes me shiver. He knows how frustrated I am, and he's not pushing me to go against Tai's advances. But were Tai to put a single hand on me that was unwanted, I know Marek would not hesitate to cause him great pain.

Tai and I wander up the stairs, keys swinging from his fingers. This place is no castle, but it's comfortable, and when Tai unlocks the door, the room is perfectly satisfactory.

With the small bag filled with the only change of clothing I have left, I wander to the edge of the room by the dresser, facing my back to Tai. I want this night to go as smoothly as possible, and only consist of sleep.

"We can talk, if you want," he says softly from the other side of the room.

"Keep your back turned while I change," I snap.

He grumbles something in agreement, and with a cautious glance over my shoulder, I shrug my clothes off.

"I thought you knew me, Tai. You know I can't kill someone," I murmur quietly, slipping my nightclothes on. I can hear him undressing as well, so I keep my gaze pinned in front of me. It's not as if we haven't seen each other naked before, but now the thought of him looking at me in such a vulnerable state makes me sick to my stomach.

"And you know me...That I can't let you just die," he responds.

When enough time is passed, I turn around. He is dressed only in loose pants, utterly shirtless. My mouth dries on instinct, but I immediately shake that feeling off. It's a trick, residual feelings trying desperately to cling to me.

"I thought I knew you," I breathe.

"If it makes anything better, I deeply regret what happened to my brother everyday since," he tells me. I know that's true, I can see it in his eyes, hear it in the tone of his voice. That doesn't change anything for me, however. He is still a monster, regardless of his guilt.

"You never told me..."

"You wouldn't have understood. It seems bad, I know, but he wanted me to try the cure on him," Tai explains, advancing on me. I stay rooted in my spot, unsure of whether I should flee for the room or not, overwhelmed by Tai's expression of emotion. "And the pressure, from my father...it was all too much."

Before he can get too close, I hold my hands out. "You spiked my drink."

"To save your life." He sounds incensed, consumed by emotion. His reasons for doing what he did may have been one way, but did he truly believe our relationship could have flourished when he had so many secrets, and was feeding me so many lies?

I mean, I was considering marrying him.

"I should have died." Like Evolet, like nature dictates. Instead, I'm left wondering if I'm going to turn into a raging beast and kill everyone I care about.

"I couldn't have let that happen. Ever," he says, shaking his head. He grabs my hands, squeezing them tightly, and surprisingly, I don't pull them away.

"How can I trust you again?"

He holds either side of my face, drawing me closer, enrapturing my case with him. "However long it takes, I'll try gain your trust."

Trust. I don't know if I'm capable of trusting him again. Marek did terrible things to keep me safe, but these were things I would never have disagreed with had he told me, which he would have, if he could.

Tai once got so angry, he considering beating me to get to Marek. He spiked my drink, knowing he inflicted illness upon himself, and killed his brother with it, and would subject me to a horrid life from now on. And the weapon...the blueprint for a weapon that could kill many lives over a war that lost it's purpose many years go.

I pull away, casting my gaze to the bed.

"For now, we sleep."

Tai follows me to the bed, which I clamber into, nearly toppling out the side to avoid him. He gets under the sheets with me on the other side of the bed, clearly not done with our conversation, whereas I am eager to topple into an endless sleep.

"Wait, Akara," he exclaims. "I'm still deeply in love with you. I've worried since before everything happened that you were still in love with Marek. Now I'm concerned he is trying to win you back."

Exhaling, I stare up at the ceiling, folding my hands over my stomach. Is he trying to win me back? It's hard to say. I believe above everything, Marek is trying to give me space.

"That's the last thing I'm thinking about right now," I mutter.

"Is it? Because you and me being together was never our biggest concern, and yet it still happened," Tai reminds me.

I close my eyes, thinking about our first kiss after I read his diary. It was such a desperate, passionate kiss. It was something I needed then, to banish Marek from my mind, and to pursue someone I thought was good for me, who was kind and gentle, not cold and secretive.

"I don't know Tai, okay? I'm still trying to get over what happened with you," I admit, twisting my head to look at him. I'm not ready for anything with Marek, or at least I don't think I am. I can't disregard his secrets and lies too.

Tai turns on his side. "I know you still love me...that you still want me."

"You don't know anything. You're just hoping," I tell him firmly. He's wrong, I don't want him. Maybe part of me still yearns for what we had, before everything got turned on it's head, but I don't want to resume that now, with everything I know.

He draws closer, pulling himself up to lean over me. I should pull away, but instead, I find myself staring up into his eyes, wondering if there is anything about him I once loved left in him.

"You can't deny our connection," he murmurs, running his fingers down my face, down my neck. I shiver at the feeling, touched starved after weeks without anything.

"Tai..."

He shakes his head, cutting me off. "Let me remind you of what we have, what you're missing."

I go to say something, perhaps to protest, but Tai presses his lips against mine, all my thoughts vanishing in an instant.

I'm not sure what overcomes me, but I don't pull away from the kiss right away. My mind melts, and for once, warmth spreads through me. I've felt so cold for so long, and even though I know this is wrong, for the briefest moment, it feels good having his hands clutching my face, kissing me as if his life depends on it.

My hands winds through his hair as he bites my lower lip, deepening the kiss.

His fingers come down, grasping my waist as he kisses down my jaw and to my neck. My senses seem to scramble back to me, reminding me of why this is a terrible idea.

"No Tai, this isn't fair," I tell him, although my eyes flutter closed as Tai bites gently down on my skin, before continuing to kiss me.

"But it feels good, doesn't it?" he murmurs against my skin.

"We should...We should stop," I repeat, my back arching up slightly as squeezes my waist, running his hand along my stomach.

"No Akara, this doesn't need to end," he assures me. I'm not convinced...but he's right, it does feel good.

But just because it feels good, doesn't mean it's right.

"No, Tai we need to stop," I exclaim, pushing him away.

He rears back, frowning beneath a fringe of dark hair. Tai should be the last person I should be in bed with, doing this...I don't feel like I have to love everyone I go to bed with, but if I want pleasure from someone, it shouldn't be Tai.

"Why?" he demands, as if he truly doesn't understand why.

"Why? You trying to seduce me doesn't change anything," I mutter, leaning over to turn the lamp off next to me. My entire is cold again, void of any feeling. I'm just so overwhelmingly tired.

"Come on, Akara," he goes to touch me through the darkness, but I swat his hand away.

"I'm going to sleep," I mutter, turning over.

I hear Tai sigh, and settle under the covers. Whatever happens next, I know Tai and I will never be together.

🤍••🤍

Remember that you can always find this story 10 chapters ahead on Radish (:

You will find it under King's Possession Season Three!!

~Midika 🐼💜