A month before Sofia's kidnapping

Gemma

People's reactions to unforeseeable situations are always unpredictable.

While some would worry and bite their cuticles off, others would walk around or start panicking. My brother, Gabriel, would handle these situations by staring into the night and remaining silent.

"Please say something," I said, trying to push down the last morsel of pasta. "You said you'd understand my situation."

Gabriela and I lived in the outhouse closest to the Moralez Mansion. The help stayed farther away. When I returned from New York after separating from my husband, Gabriel took me in - literally in his home and at the job.

"I said I'd understand the situation if you'd not done anything wrong, Gemma." Gabriel took off from the dinner table and walked around the dining room. In a jerk reaction, he trotted into the kitchen.

"I'm waiting, Gab..."

"Let me have some water in peace, Gems."

I peered at the untouched jug of water kept on the dining table, turning around to the kitchen. Gabriel must have gone inside to fetch wine. After all, the conversation I had with my brother needed wine.

Preferably, anything harder than wine would do for me too.

"Umm..." I cleared my throat and dragged the chair backwards. The screeching noise must have alerted Gabriel.

He walked back inside our dimly lit dining area, carrying two long-stemmed glasses and an uncorked wine bottle.

"Gab, I know what I said is daunting but..."

"You've no idea." Gabriel poured the wine into both glasses, chugging one before passing the other glass to me. "I never thought this could ever come true."

"It's not a big deal. People get divorced all the time."

"People..." My brother delivered a death stare so intense, I felt my skin sizzle. "My sister isn't people. My sister shouldn't get a divorce. My sister..." Gabriel reduced our distance, towering over me. "...shouldn't even be talking about a divorce. She should be talking about some misunderstanding she had with her husband and how she's trying to resolve it."

"Come on, Gab. You're talking like Gammy."

It was true. Our parents died in a plane crash when we were young. Grandma bought us up. She was a catholic orthodox who believed marriage was forever and divorce was a sin. Speaking of sins, she nearly had a heart attack when she realized I had attended my pre-Quinceanera with my then-boyfriend.

According to Gammy, boys were meant to be religious, hard-working and loyal to their wives and girls were meant to be good and dignified... Also, they were to remain virgins till marriage (something she didn't realize was a distant dream for most girls).

Suffice to say, Gabriel had picked up on Gammy's traits. He wasn't just a conservative brother who didn't appreciate the news I broke, he detested the fact that I wasn't a good Christian girl anymore.

"Gab. It's happening whether you like it or not."

It was time I stood up to my brother. And anyone else who thought I wasn't strong enough to leave the New York Cappo.

"I can't believe it. I always thought..." Gabriel moved the chair near to my side and faced me. "I thought you and Vincent had a misunderstanding. Somehow, I wanted to believe..."

"That we'd reconcile?"

He nodded his head.

As much as I wanted to please my brother and tell him my marriage was long over before we decided to hack it to death, I couldn't. All I could do was nod with him - like we did in our childhood to make one another understand the truth.

Mighty Gabriel's sister was getting a divorce. That same Gabriel who cried his eyes out when I eloped with Vincent and got married against his wishes.

My brother, no matter how he appeared on the outside - was a mush of love and concern from the inside. He hated that I didn't get his permission before I eloped. I hated it too. But as they say, your early twenties are for making mistakes and your late twenties are to rectify them.

At the age of twenty-one, I was married to one of the most feared Capo – Vincent Nazario. I loved him. At least, I believed so.

He did love me. He still does.

But between my marriage to Vinny and now, something changed.

I realized I needed to be truthful to myself. And to my ex-husband.

And with the truth came the harsh reality.

"Gems..." Gabriel held my knuckles near his face - a gesture he had concocted to soothe me since I hated his hug in the early years of my childhood. "Are you sure you can do nothing about your marriage? Is there any way I can talk to..."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"How can you be so sure? You can't just throw away a life of marriage because of some misunderstandings."

"How do you know it's misunderstandings? How are you so sure, it's not something else."

Gabriel tossed back the chair he sat on. He walked around the dining table, fingers clutching the roots of his hair.

"Did he cheat on you?" My brother roared. All I could do at that moment was nodded my head on both sides. "Or did you?"

I looked up, tears brimming my eyes.

What I assumed to be an easy decision turned out to be a long-drawn discussion.

Though I had turned twenty-seven, for Gabriel, I was still the baby he took care of after our parent's passing.

I should have thought this through in a better way.

"Gab." I patted the chair next to me. "Will you please sit and listen to what I want to say? Instead of conjuring up things."

"Sure..."

His tone was condescending. His eyebrows were hooked.

I knew he was pretending to listen but at the back of his mind, all he was doing was finding the reason for my decision.

So I decided to serve it to him right away.

"Nobody cheated on anyone, Gab. Neither I and nor him."

"Then..."

"Let me finish." I raised my finger. Gabriel leaned back on the chair. "What I meant to say was thought there wasn't any infidelity on our sides, we both didn't address one major thing in our lives."

Gabriel nodded like he knew if he spoke, I'll shut him again. Crossing his arms over his chest, he waited for me to continue.

"We fell out of love."

"Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that. People fall out of love all the time."

"I don't think so."

Gabriel was about to leave the seating when I grabbed his elbow.

"Just because you didn't fall out of love with Valentina doesn't mean people don't. Don't equate me with your fucked up relationship."

"The fuck did you just say to me..." He roared.

And with that, the realization hit me.

It wasn't something he wanted to share with me. it was privy information, the closest to his heart that he shared after Antonio pulled the stunt to be dead.

My brother loved a woman who could never be his. Yet, he loved her. With all his heart and all his soul.

"I'm sorry, Gab. I didn't mean it like that."

"You sure didn't. And I didn't tell you this information so you can throw it to my face one day, especially when you're losing an argument."

Gabriel was right. In his most vulnerable moment, my brother bled his heart out when I pounded him for his sudden reservedness towards Val. He felt guilty for feeling what he felt for Val. He was punishing himself by distancing from her.

"Gab." I held his hand and gazed into his eyes. It was time for me to come clean. "The problem wasn't Vinny. It was me."

I had known for quite some time that Gabriel needed to know the truth. The truth that would kill him.

"I never truly loved Vincent. It was always an escape for me."

They said when you'd confess your deepest and darkest secrets that were so close to your heart, - you'd rather die than anyone except for saying that one person who meant the world to you - you'd find the surroundings darken.

It was like the hold of those secrets would take over your real world and try one last time to stay inside you. Holding you captive.

But I guess, it was time. Time to free me by confessing.

I took a long deep breath, closing my eyes shut. The truth felt bitter in my mouth, heavier on my chest.

Yet, I continued.

"Gab, you know about Spain."

My brother's grip on my hands tightened.

I was telling about the time I felt most vulnerable - when I was molested in Spin during my school trip. Little did I realize till now; it was Gabriel's weakest moment too.

It was when he committed his first murder, killing the man that lay a hand on his little sister.

"Yes, I know," Gabriel whispered. "Why are you bringing it up now?"

There was a certain hoarseness in his tone like he was gulping down a bitter medicine.

"Because it all started from there, Gab. I always blamed myself for what happened to me. And what it made you do."

"But you were a child. You're not responsible for anything."

Gabriel, pulling me up from the chair, looked at me. The greyish mélange of his eyes darkened. Those arms, that always promised to protect me, suddenly seemed to be crushing me from both sides.

He wasn't ready to listen, yet.

"Listen to me one last time, Gems. And listen to me very clearly."

I nodded.

In my days in New York, I learnt a few tips and tricks around handling men like my brother and my ex.

Listening was the key.

"You are not responsible for anything. That man was a vile monster and he got what he deserved." Gabriel looked up at the hanging chandelier. Then back at me. Tears welled in his eyes. "I cannot undo your past, but I can and will always tell you that you didn't deserve it. But it happened. And you weren't responsible. I was."

There was something strange when a rugged, silent man like Gabriel appeared vulnerable. It made them more human than they possibly could ever be.

"Gab..." I tried protesting but Gabriel hovered a finger over my lips. His throat bobbed.

"I know it would take a lot of time before you'd realize it and stop blaming yourself. I know it would take you years of therapy to even come to terms that what I did was for my sanity."

In a way, Gabriel tried convincing me that his journey into the land of death and disaster wasn't paved by me.

Right!

"You're not listening to me, brother."

I shoved his arms off my shoulder and walked away. He followed close behind as I stepped into the balcony, overlooking the Moralez Mansion.

I could see the faint light in the nursery adjacent to Val and Antonio's room. A smile slid across my face, thinking about Edwardo and Enrique, and how they were lucky to have two crazy yet loving parents.

The room on the opposite side of the mansion, where I could picture Aurelia running around and creating havoc before going to bed. I could picture Alejando and Sofia running around, begging her to sleep and luring her to come back to their room with the promise of a new fairytale.

While my heart was bleeding and breaking at the thought of my past, I felt calm, seeing the happiness in the house adjacent to mine.

Through the corner of my eyes, I saw that flicking light in the library. It was close to ten at night. Only one person visited the library at this hour.

Only one person in the Moralez Mansion loved reading in the wee hours of the night, up until dawn. Only one person, who loved listening to the soothing Frank Sinatra's - Strangers in the Night - till sleep took over.

"Gemma..."

Gabriel addressed my back, breaking my reverie.

The chilly wind caressing my face felt warm. My eyes began heating up.

It was time.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you. Please... Tell me."

"You want to know the truth." I didn't look back to know what my brother would be doing. So I continued. "I know I'm not to be blamed for what happened to me. And neither are you."

"Then."

I turned around, knowing I would crush Gabriel with the truth.

"But I did blame myself. And I blamed you too."

He didn't speak. He looked down, nodding to himself.

I wasn't done confessing. I wasn't done ripping my brother apart.

"You killed the man for me, Gabriel. But you forgot to come back to me. You left a sixteen-year-old me alone at home with Gammy because you thought I needed her more than you."

"I did the best I could, Gemma," Gabriel yelled.

"You didn't." I matched his tone, my throat pricking me. "You thought you did. But Gammy was cruel to me. She blamed me. She wasn't treating me like a victim or a survivor. She was treating me like a whore, dammit."

As if I broke all of Gabriel's assumptions when he left me with our grandmother, his mouth unhinged. His steps retreated.

"You..." I pointed at him, marching ahead. "You assumed. And that was your mistake." Ten years of suppressed pain spewed through my mouth. "You didn't bother checking up on me. You left me to be vilified. And that vile woman ensured, I was taught a lesson."

Gabriel's reddened eyes watched me as I spoke what he feared.

"Gammy caned me every day. According to her, it was me who seduced a man. A man whose very touch I detested. She didn't understand that I was assaulted. She didn't want to understand."

My knees gave up. My lungs too.

Wheezing for air, I looked at my hazed surrounding.

Was I dying?

Is this how death felt?

Something warm caressed my back. Something strong held me.

My brother and his weird musky scented cologne weren't an assault on my sense of smell today.

It was soothing.

"Breath. Breath, my child."

I did as instructed.

Those soft cupped palm taps on my back and his - 'you're alright' assurance helped.

"I didn't know what I was doing, Gemma," Gabriel said, holding me in his embrace and resting his back on the wall.

Like always, he was taking care of me like I was still a five-year-old girl who cried and went to sleep in his bed during thunderstorms. And nightmares.

"I am sorry. I thought I knew best how to protect you. And I failed."

"You didn't." I was wheezing in air and courage. "You've always been there for me. Just this one time."

"And I shouldn't have left you even then."

At that moment, everything felt easy. Like it was always supposed to be between us.

Gabriel pulled me away from his chest, peering at me. My head hung low because, in all the years of knowing my brother, I also knew when he could read me.

"You were punishing me by eloping?" He asked but it wasn't a question. He already knew the answer. My silence was my acceptance. "You weren't in love with Vincent, weren't you? You just..."

"Vinny liked me. He had from the time they visited the Moralez. I knew you hated him."

"Why wouldn't I? Gabriel's tone piked. "He was eying my sister. You were barely a teenager then. And he was already a man."

"He was seventeen, Gab."

"I don't care. He didn't eye you right."

"Of course, he wouldn't. Which hormone-induced boy wouldn't want an almost-legal girl?"

"Are you justifying him now?" Gabriel's thick eyebrows bridged.

I remembered how Val used to interpret his silence by the way his eyebrows functioned. If it tipped up, he was angry. Bridged eyebrows meant he was annoyed. A catastrophe was when only his left eyebrow slid into his hairline.

Known to have happened only once, it was when all hell broke loose, and he killed a dozen men. With his bare hands. The reason was still unknown to me.

"I'm sorry," I began. "What I meant was, he didn't do anything to me. And even when I eloped with him, he was a gentleman."

"Which brings me back to my question, then why are you leaving him."

"Because I'm done punishing him. And you."

"You mean you're done punishing yourself?"

It felt both strange and surprising that even after spending two years apart - with Gabriel in Mexico and me in New York - he was still able to read me as well as he did when I was a kid.

"Yes, I'm done punishing myself. And I'm back home. For good."

I didn't realize the strength in his hold and the speed in his action but when Gabriel crushed me on his chest, my world - even though in shambled - felt like falling in place.

Home never felt more homely than now. In the arms of my loved one.

"You should also know one thing, whatever you do, let him down gently." Gabriel was talking about Vincent Nazario. And knowing him, he had already calculated that the New York Cappo could accept anything but rejection. "Tell him the truth and hope he sees the light."

"I will." I pulled back to see my brother. In the dim-lit dining room of our outhouse, I was seeing my brother in a new light. One of a caregiver and a helper. "And I know if there's any problem, you'll help me."

He nodded. Like always, he didn't require words to assure me.

My brother would be there for me. Always.

"One other thing," he said while pulling me off the floor.

Dusting his back and picking up the plates, Gabriel walked into the kitchen. I followed his trail with the rest of the dirty dishes.

"What?"

"You'll have to talk to Anto about your permanent job." Setting the dishes in the sink, he turned around, smiling. "I can't do that taking for you."

"I know. I'll talk to Agustin."

Gabriel crossed his arms, his head tilted to the side. "Agustin."

"I mean, Anto."

"Riggghhtt... Because they mean the same."

"Shut up. You know it's nothing."

"I'll know when I see it."

Though I walked away before my brother found a saucer flying towards his head, in my heart I knew one more thing.

I didn't confess everything to Gabriel.

~

And with that, we have the first chapter of our last book of the series...

The King's Commander is going to be fast.

It's going to be loaded with drama.

And it's going to be heartfelt and most importantly,

it's going to be crazy with a happy ending.

So, buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

What else do you think Gemma is hiding?