Gemma

After I ran away from my brother and Gammy in Mexico, New York became my haven.

When I heard that many Mexican girls were being trafficked across the border, I was thankful that Vincent took me under his wing. He ensured I didn't stray from the path I was destined to - of a guard and an assassin - and trained me for it.

The room I now stayed in was a few rooms away from Vincent's room.

Oh, the memories I had in his room. Of what I assumed to be a blissful marriage and a happy home.

I did even dream of a forever too. Little did I know that forevers are for people who did some things right in their lives.

It wasn't for a coward like me who ran away from troubles and choose to escape every time she thought things got tough.

Tap Tap.

I straightened in the bed, pulling the blanket over my body.

Vincent slid open the door. He carried a tray in his right hand and a jug of what looked like orange juice in another.

He didn't look at me when he entered. And I was relieved that he didn't.

Since yesterday, I had felt a pang in my gut.

It worsened every time I thought of Agustin.

My stomach twisted again, as soon as Vincent sat on the bed. He placed the tray beside me and poured the juice into a glass.

"You must be famished," he said, placing the glass on the tray. "Eat, before it turns cold."

The assortment of fruits and toast, along with some porridge, was Vincent's favorite breakfast. Over the years, I grew accustomed to eating the same.

"Would you rather have me get you something else?" He asked, peering at me as I looked at the food.

"No, this is fine. Thanks."

"Really!"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Vinny..."

He placed a finger over my lips, his gaze grew intense. "Don't do this, Emm..."

"Do what?"

"I don't know."

Vincent pushed off the bed.

Walking around the bed with his fists pressed against his lips, he breathed through the gaps in his teeth. His intense gaze landed on my handbag.

"This..."

He remembered.

"You bought it for me."

That day, when for the first time I wanted something girly. A street shop in the bylanes of west village, when the tough Gemma morphed into a little girl.

I didn't have any cash on me and Vincent, being the sweetheart that he was, said he wasn't buying me a gift but loaning me the money.

In his mind, I was still the girl who hated being bought anything - gifts or otherwise.

"Did you discuss what you wanted to discuss with Agustin?" I asked, trying to change the topic.

The unspoken topic about us.

"Yes, he's happy with the information I've given. As soon as I get anything more, I'll relay it."

"What do you mean relay it?" Why was Vinny being so formal? "Couldn't you just tell Agustin? Or call him here."

Vincent's eyebrows bridged. He took slow steps towards the side of the bed, gradually sliding the tray towards me.

"Eat first..."

Now he was changing the topic.

"Tell me, Vinny."

"Eat."

"No."

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn."

"Because I learnt from the best." Picking a piece of toast, I pointed it towards him. "Did you have any food?"

"Prefer not to eat heavy in the morning."

"Since when?" And right there, I knew the answer.

Vincent's head dipped into his chest. The muscles running from the side of his neck tightened. Neatly combed strands of hair fell over his forehead.

"Since the time you left. I had a hard time keeping food down."

My mouth soured. My eyes warmed up.

I was responsible for making people suffer - may it be my brother or my husband. That husband, who wasn't even aware that he was soon to be my ex.

Something about determination that I'd read in some book, sprang into my mind. Determination would lay dormant unless something triggered its awakening.

In my mind, I had broken up with Vincent. In his, he was madly in love with me. Still.

And that thought hurt me more.

"Vinny, there's something I need to tell you. It's about-"

"Emm, Agustin's back in Mexico."

"What?"

He was deliberately hiding the information when I asked. I knew Vincent was forcing me to eat because had he told me this earlier, I wouldn't have eaten a morsel.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Tossing away the blanket, I slid off the bed.

Squaring his face, I moved closer to him. Vincent turned his head to the side, reluctantly walking away.

I held his elbow, halting his steps. "Answer me, Vincent. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I don't know."

"As always, that's your answer for everything, isn't it."

My head throbbed. My chest ached. Something about knowing that Agustin abandoned me here rather than informing me of the departure, hurt me from speaking further.

With my hazed vision, I looked at Vincent.

He didn't move away like before but towered over me. "I know I should have told you."

"But you didn't."

He didn't answer. But he was kind enough to pull me closer, wiping my tears with the pad of his thumbs.

"Emma, there are a lot of things I want to tell you. And a lot more that I shouldn't because I think I'll lose you if I ever say it."

A man who bled with words was the most vulnerable. Vincent was bleeding his love for me, like always. And like always, I was readying to shut him out.

"Vincent..."

"Let me finish..." He held his finger over my lips, another hand holding me in place. "Agustin left because I asked him to. Because I knew that if he stayed, he wouldn't be of any help in getting Sofia out."

The momentary silence in the room broke when he cleared his throat, picking up my chin to face him.

"I knew that if he stayed and only left in the morning, you'd have left with him."

"So you tricked him to leave in the middle of the night."

"No." With one stern word, Vincent shut me. "I told Agustin I needed some time to be with you. To talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about, Vincent. We've been over this. I need to get away."

"Like always."

I knew for a while, how to hurt Vincent. Because hurting him meant he wouldn't hurt me back.

In the world of toxic relationships, I was winning the match by being the most toxic woman to ever exist. I was hurting the man who loved me because I was afraid to admit I didn't love him.

I was willing to look the other side and ignore the tears he wept, waiting for me to return. Even now, when he was willing to show the deepest pain he suffered after I left, I was ready to leave and shut him than to ensure that the least I could do for this man, who once protected me, was to help him heal.

A million girls would kill for a man - caring and loving - as Vincent. Sadly, I wasn't one of them.

"Vinny," I whispered, holding onto his shoulders. He looked up. The redness of his eyes darkened. "I'm sorry. It wasn't what I meant to say."

"Don't lie, Emma. We both know you wanted to escape from me for long."

"Not from you." Perhaps, I can start by telling the truth - if not the whole - then at least some. "I never was escaping from you. I was escaping from myself."

A riot of laughter echoed inside the room. Vincent's crooked smile, as if he didn't believe what I said, hurt me but hey, I deserved it.

"How about you leave now, Emm. I'll make for your travel."

"No." My hand sliced the air between us. "Not until I speak what I want to."

With arms crossed across his chest, Vincent tilted his head. "Go on."

That's when it happened.

My mouth felt like sandpaper. My throat felt a lump.

The always talkative Gemma couldn't utter a word.

"Let it be, Emm. I'll get you to Brazil and we can pick it up after we get Sofia."

"Wait, what?"

Vincent walked towards the door but my feet fastened.

I ran across the room, placing myself between the door and him. Vincent leaned closer, his throat bobbed. His eyes were tightly shut.

Breathing through the gaps between his teeth, he growled. "What are you doing?"

"Mexico..." My voice lowered. "Aren't we going to Mexico?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Move, Emm." His voice rattled from the back of his throat. He refused to look at me. "I've to talk to the pilot."

"Not before you tell me why we are leaving for Brazil."

"Because..."

In a jerk, Vincent held my elbow and pulled me closer to him. The warm breath from the way he controlled his breath, and his brazing gaze, could have scared someone but not me. I knew this version of his seemed angry but the reality was far from it.

Vincent was hurt.

I hurt my Vinny.

"Because," he began. "Sofia is somewhere in Columbia. Based on Nicolas's last location. And other Intel."

"And..."

My brother Gabriel used to call me smart because I was self-aware of my surroundings. I knew whatever was about to be said was going to hurt me.

Vincent looked at me, the pain and sadness in his eyes having been replaced by concern.

Vincent Nazario also was self-aware of his surroundings. Mine too.

"Agustin has accepted the Brazilian Cartel's marriage proposal. So they are helping the Moralez from Brazil."

The weight of that information dipped my shoulder. I could hear a ringing in my ears, then a pulsation every other second.

I needed water. I needed air.

I needed a lot of things, including feeling sane again.

"Emm..." Vincent's arm coiled over my back, pulling me closer. "Breath..."

I couldn't.

My lungs were set on fire. My eyes too.

"Emm..." The warmth of his hold and the care in his voice swaddled me. "Are you alright?"

I wasn't.

Agustin was getting married.

"Yes..." My head shook vigorously. "I'm fine." My mouth felt a coppery tang. "It's just that..."

"It's too much to process," he agreed. It was indeed too much. "So I need you to listen to me."

I don't know what I said or did but Vincent continued.

"I need you to pack up your things." He wiped wisps of hair away from my face. "And I need you to freshen up."

"And..."

Vincent had a soft smile on his face. The same smile he always had whenever he pacified me. And I'd learnt over time that he'd always care for me.

It only struck me now. I didn't deserve him.

He deserved someone better. Someone who completed him like he was meant to be completed. Someone who would love him the way he loved me.

The way he loves me.

"I'll get ready and meet you downstairs."

"Good girl." Kidding my forehead, Vincent took a step towards the door. He turned over his shoulder, lending his hand for my taking. "Emm, I know there are a lot of things you're still not comfortable telling me. I only hope that by the time we are done with this travel, you'd be able to understand that all I want is the best for you."

The door shut behind him.

The draft caught my hair, his words caught my attention.

Was I making a mistake?

~

And just like that, we have a new chapter with lots of emotional chaos and drama

Do you think Vincent and Gemma would have a heart to heart soon?

Or will someone else pull them apart again.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)