"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
- Bob Marley

After my dad's confession, my head started spinning with thoughts. The things that were happening and the things that could happen were consuming my mind.

So many possibilities

I haven't been able to forgive myself for what happened that day. I knew that deep down it was my fault for not being strong enough. For not being brave enough. I knew that I was the reason behind her heartbreaking death.

It is just so unfair how I never knew the value of the moments I shared with her until they became a painful memory.

That confession alone didn't only bring the bad memories I have been trying to avoid, it also brought a little bit of hope with it.

It was a strange feeling I never thought I would have, considering the sad circumstances that surrounded it. Knowing that there was a high chance of finding who killed her, who broke this family, who shattered my heart...

That, someone, was finally going to be found, and I promise I am going to make them pay.

"Ren, that was not your fault." Dad noticed my internal battle and interrupted my thoughts. Since the day it happened, he has always tried to make me believe that it was not my fault. He never hated me for what happened nor did he blame me for it.

However, he knew that I did blame myself. There was no way that I was not feeling guilty and responsible about it. How was I supposed to live with what happened?

I was aware that no amount of guilt was going to change what happened, but at the same time, I could not help myself.

I am going to do anything in my power to find that son of a bitch and make him pay.

"Ren, I'm serious. Stop blaming yourself." My dad kept trying to reassure me, due to the lack of words on my part.

"Okay sorry." I falsely apologized, knowing damn well I was not able to do that.

"So what is supposed to happen now?" Nixon worriedly asked. "You're going to accept his deal right?" He walked closer to my dad, his voice full of hope.

"I wanted to talk with you three first and see what you all think about it." Dad finally finished his paperwork or whatever he was looking at and put his hands together on top of the table.

I love my dad for always wanting our input on stuff like this. Usually, people in command just take decisions and the rest of the people had to deal with it. But luckily for us, my dad was not like that.

"We can not let this opportunity go." Nixon expressed. "We need to find them alive and make them pay."

"I agree with Nixon." I backed him up. I wanted to find out who did this to us. To her. But to what extent was he determined to get.

Because the moment my dad said the big news, I knew that I would do anything, and I mean anything to find them.

"What do you think, Zeke?" Dad asked him, having already Nixon and my approval, My twin brother remained silent. He also looked deep in thought.

"Ezekiel?" I called him, worried about him. What is he thinking about?

"Dude?" Nixon also called him, clearly losing his patience.

That made Ezekiel come out of his trance and look at us. He looked confused and I could tell that he was not sure about this.

"Yes..." He said unsure, certainly not sure of what he was responding to.

"You don't even know what we are talking about." Nixon rolls his eyes clearly annoyed but I knew that Ezekiel was worried about something.

My dad asked him again and told him what we were talking about which only gained a few nods in understanding from him.

"Okay, if that's what you all want, then I am okay with it." That's all Ezekiel replied with. With that answer, I knew that most probably he did not want this and I mentally told myself to check on him after this.

"Are you sure?" Dad asked him before making the big decision.

"Yes." Satisfied with his answer my dad nodded and started typing on his phone.

"Bergamaschi will be here tomorrow to make our deal." He informed us and my brothers and I looked at each other. Anxiousness was clear in the air.

It felt so odd to desire something for so long and finally be able to have it. Something that not in a million years I thought I would be able to do.

Avenge her death

Still shocked by the news, my brothers and I quietly left the office. Nixon left to deal with some pending business since he was the one who was more informed of everything. He and dad would always work together, and I guess someday he will take charge of the business.

"Zeke?" I wanted to talk to know how he was feeling about everything. I know that this must be hard not only for me but for everyone.

"I know what you're gonna ask me, Serenity" He rolled his eyes opening a door and revealing the kitchen.

This boy is hungry again?

"Then tell me, what's going on in that big ass head of yours" After I said that he glared at me and I just shrugged. He went back to the fridge, continuing his never-ending search for food.

"I... I just don't know, Ren." I heard him sigh "I know you blame yourself for this, and now that we might find them... I don't want you to do something reckless and dumb." He finished looking directly at my eyes.

"I won't." I totally will if that means I get my revenge.

"I know you. I'm your twin" He said that like it was a valid argument.

"And?" I laughed

"I have special senses" He winked at me which made me giggle. "People say that twins can feel each other's feelings."

"Zeke, come on, that only worked when we were kids." I said between laughs remembering the times when I seriously believed we somehow had special superpowers. Okay, I can say that it might be partly true but I was not going to let him win.

"Anyways, I don't want anything bad happening to you, sis. Mom wouldn't want you to put yourself at risk." He got closer to me and held me by my shoulders. He knew the effect that word had on me.

Mom...

I miss her so much. It devastates me knowing that I was not able to say goodbye. If I knew that was the last time I would spend the day with her, I would have hugged her a little longer and told her how much I loved her.

I miss her in ways that not even words can understand. A piece of my soul left with her the day she was killed.

People say that time heals everything, what a fucking lie. The pain will always remain, you just learn how to live with it. It will never leave your heart and your mind.

"I don't know..." I said looking down. I didn't want to promise him something I knew I wouldn't be able to keep. "We will finally have the opportunity to have some sort of closure. I will do everything in my power to take them down, Ezekiel."

"Think about mom, Serenity," He said in a lower voice "I know she does not want you to put yourself in danger just because of some sick fucking bastard." I could feel the venom in his words. "Mom is already gone... we can't lose you too."

Right now we are both in pain.

"I have never stopped thinking about her, and that's why I want to do this." That's all I said, even if I wanted to forget what happened, I could not. This was something I had to do for my peace of mind.

"Do you know what are you going to do?" He asked curiously with uncertainty written all over his face.

"Not yet, I guess it depends on what the deal is about. I will try to get involved as much as I can" Now I need to make a plan about this because I have no idea. Based on the decisions and the things we talk about tomorrow with Bergamaschi I will determine what's more efficient.

"Ren," he grabbed my chin and made me look up at him. "You know dad is going to kill you if you do anything stupid right?" He raised an eyebrow after that statement, making me smirk.

"Who said he has to know?"

Unknowingly, I was starting a fire I would not be able to control and a game I would not be able to finish.

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Word count: 1498