A whole year passed since Monica forgave me. But... but the dinamic between us is still not the same. I thought we got over it but I guess I've mistaken. Something is definitely off - her sassy behaviour towards me. Yes, she has been sassy before, before our fight, but now is different because she is like that all the time. Before, hanging out with her was relaxing and I felt rejuvenated after that but now I feel exhausted and drained out of my whole energy. It's dreadful. I hope I hadn't lost my best friend forever because of a guy that I have never liked in that way, and who now I start hating a little bit because he took Mon away from me. After his feelings reveal she doesn't consider me as her best friend anymore. She has never told me that but I can feel it.

I need a distraction. All of these thoughts are making my anxiety  rise up and I feel depression coming. So I need to dress up and go for a walk. Which I do.

It's winter but the sun is shining, and snow is glowing and it isn't that cold. The air is refreshing and it clears my head from all the garbage that has been piling on there. I walk in the park and with the beautiful glowing snow I feel like I'm in a dreamland. It kind of remind me of Narnia. The first movie because I still haven't read the books. Books! I may go to the bookstore and buy new book. This always cheers me up, well this along with cup of hot cocoa. I do not need more persuasion, I've already persuaded myself.

I speeded up my pace and got to the store in no time. Now I can calm down and take my time choosing the perfect book. What do I want to read? I searched through all the sections but nothing caught my eye. Until I reached the one with the bestsellers. There it is again. That book. The book I pick up every time when I see it, the book I decide not to buy every time, and I feel the powerful attraction to it again. Well this time I won't think twice. This is my purchase. This book and its first part.