" Kelly, thank you for everything ", I said to my former boss.

" I really would like you to stay ", she responded. Kelly was never a bossy boss. She became true friend to me and proved it by being there for me when I needed a moral support the most.

" I know and I'm so grateful for everything you've done and you do for me. I really am but I need to find my place in the world. Working for and with you was great, I've learnt a lot over the passed two years. But... ", I couldn't continue, tears rose up.

" But you need to work hard for your dreams not for mine. I get it girl. Don't worry!", she said and tears filled her eyes too," I really will be missing you!"

" I know. I'll miss you too", I said and hugged her.

" Enough. I promised I won't cry but with your lingering I may broke into tears", she said, "And it's not like we won't see each other anymore, it just won't be every day", she brushed a tear away.

"Good luck with the business" I said and grabbed my things.

"Good luck to you and... ", she started.

" Always be true to yourself", we both said it together.

"That's my motto", Kelly said as goodbye.

"And now it's mine too", I replied and went on my way.

I walked to my home - my new small cozy apartment and I played in my mind all the things I've been through over the passed three years.

I got my bachelor degree, I was betraited more than once, I freed myself from fake friends like Monica. I fell again and again and again on my knees by numerous reasons. Every time I got up I felt weaker and weaker and never thought I could move on. Fortunately I was mistaken because eventually I figured it out - it wasn't making me weaker, it was multiplying my inner strength.

I replaced the self pitty with gratitude. And I felt better after around 2 years of practice. Yes, it took me that long but it was worth it. I still have my moments of weakness and despair but who doesn't, right!? The point is that now I can deal with my anxiety and insecurity. I have new, true friends, this time for real. I'm more confident now. Before I was afraid to be myself so I looked for me in other people, more over in other people's battles (like it was with Monica and her anxiety - I thought we were the same because of it), bad sides and habits. I had become an Yes-girl so to belong somewhere, anywhere. I had put mask after mask and I've completely forgotten how I really looked under it, without it, and who I was. But now things are different, I am different. Sometimes it's scary because of the many new experiences. In these times Kelly was right beside me and helpped me to calm down assuring me that what was happening was normal. And I could not thank her enough for being there when I needed. I guess Pete is someone I also should thank because he shown me Monica's true face for the first time. I need to buy him really good present for his wedding this summer - we saw each other last month, he was with his fiancée,Molly, she seemed really nice, we talked and they invited me on their wedding. I'm happy for them.

One thing I don't like from the all changes is my reading habit, actually the lack of one. I haven't read a whole book in months. But I feel over stressed and just can't take new information in my head. It feels like I have too many things to say, to throw out of me before accepting anything new. I don't run from reality anymore, I try to find my place in it. Now I don't need to jump into someone else's consciousness but to explore and express mine.

Before, I had no goals, no will, no personality because I had to give up swimming. I was lost without the only thing I knew since I was three years old, and without the only career I've ever wanted. I felt lost so I found myself in other people. But none of them was really me. What I 've become wasn't me at all. Swimming was off the table and suddenly I had nothing, I had no confidence, no goals. But now I've become confident enough to find and to pursue my dreams. Now I have a goal - to be unapologetically myself.

With all of these thoughts in my head, I didn't notice how I got to the building where is my apartment. I entered, I took the elevator and I walked at home, put my things on the ground in the hall and headed to my room to change my clothes.

"A lot has happened indeed but I'm in better place now. And I'm ready to go further in my journey to myself. I'm ready to be unapologetically me", I thought and a smile lightened up my face. I just put my home outfit - shorts and T-shirt and I heard a noise. Unusual, vibrating noise.

"Oh no had I forgotten the tea pot or something!?", I panicked for a second but then remembered that this morning I was so nervious that I didn't make any tea. I just wanted to get as soon as it was possible to my last day at work.

The noise become louder and my nightstand started shaking. I was in the middle of the room just under the chandelier. "Oh no earthquake, I hate earthquakes", I thought and looked above me fearful, but it wasn't even trembling. What was happening then? I took the few steps to my nightstand, opened its drawer and right away a key appeared in my hand. Warm and glowing orange key. The key. I remembered it. But why now? As I asked I spotted the piece of paper around it. Second one, really? Ok. I unrolled and unfolded it to read written in orange ink the following words :

"Now. You. Are. Ready."

The moment I read the last word, a door appeared from nowhere right in the middle of the room (thankfully I wasn't there to fall on me!) An orange door with the same symbol as it was on the key. I thought it was crown but now it looks like a beautiful W.

The key flew out of my hand and placed itself in the door's lock and unlocked it. I approached the door pushed it wide open and... I was welcomed in a whole new world. I felt that this was the place I've been searching for. Here I could explore and express my creativity, myself. This is where I can finally be unapologetically me - without fear, without pressure, without rising anxiety, without the great expectations which are so suffocating and easily can bring me down. This is the next step in my journey to my true self. I feel it. I know it. I believe it!

The key appeared again to deliver its last message. I unrolled it and unfolded it and in orange ink was written and signed:

Be good. Be positive. Be honest. Be brave. Be true. Be creative. Be yourself.

W

Then the key disappeared and a book appeared on its place. The book that started all. I opened it to read on the first page
"Now all is up to you!".
Written in the same orange ink.

The end