I wander over to Astrid's dorm, but she's not there at the moment, so I go to the Rec floor. Henri sees me and immediately calls, "Wipe that frown off your face, kid, and smile!"

I try to and fail. I don't know how he can stay happy and cheerful, but I suspect it's all play. It's hard to tell when or if something's bothering him, because he's always smiling and full of energy. But as I watch him, I notice he looks a little tense.

Because of that conversation, I think. He doesn't want me, the Chief's daughter, falling into the enemy's hands. And he doesn't want James dead either. And he certainly doesn't want to dwell on it.

But I don't bring it up until after dinner, when Henri's about to leave. He's saying goodbye to all the Keepers when I approach him cautiously. He looks up and grins at me. "Oh, come on, why the long face?"

"I heard about your conversation with my father," I say quietly.

Henri wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me away from the group. "How did you know?" he asks me.

"Flashback," I say simply. "But you didn't want to tell me, did you? That's why you're leaving without a single mention of it."

"I didn't want to really think about it," he admits. "But I don't think it'll ever happen. You're in the Training Base. You're safe."

He hugs me tight, picks up his stuff, and joins the crowd again. I watch him with growing anger.

"No, I don't believe that," I mutter. Because I know it isn't true. But I can't tell Henri that now-it isn't his business, anyhow. I leave the dining hall alone and go back to my dorm. James still hasn't left his bedroom, and I'm starting to get very worried about him.

But when I get back to the dorm, James's moved from the bedroom to the couch. "Hey," he says hollowly, sitting up and smiling at me.

"I just spoke to Henri," I say, sitting next to him.

"What did he say?"

"That he didn't want to mention it to me because I'm 'safe' in the Training Base," I say.

"Yeah, he thought it'd be better to tell me and let me make the decision," James says.

"Even my father, the Chief, told him to. I would think he'd follow his orders instead of giving them to someone else," I say.

"Henri is, for a lack of a better term, a coward. Most people from the capitol are like that. He hides from the horrible truth, because he's too afraid to admit that everyone's lives are in danger-no matter where in the universe they are. And I guess by telling me, he wouldn't have to think about it anymore."

"And he thought you were the best to make that decision," I say. "I don't think he..." I pause, try to think of a way to word it.

"That he knew I would tell you anyways, even if it wasn't ordered by the Chief?" James finishes. "No, I don't think he knew it. Or knew that you would immediately ask him. If there's one thing I hate more than keeping secrets from you, it's disobeying direct orders from my superiors."

"You disobey Matilda," I point out.

"I couldn't give a damn about what she thought," James says. "I don't think she's any better than the homeless nutters that currently populate the capitol."

I stare at him in surprise. I've never heard James talk like this before. Usually James was fairly nice to people, never letting anything bother him.

No, I realize. He's just kept it to himself. But now that the stress of the battle, of everything, is getting to him, getting to me, he's finally letting it show.

I lean my head against his shoulder. He leans his head against mine and kisses my forehead. "Was today eventful or what?" he says.

I chuckle, then sigh. "I just wish..."

"What?" James leans forward and looks at me. "That you didn't have that flashback?"

"I wish a lot of things didn't happen," I mutter.

James places a hand on my shoulder. "Same here, but we can't do anything about it."

"I love how you always give me bad news, then try to comfort me," I say. "Are you an optimist or a pessimist?"

"I'm a realist. I like to look at both the good and the bad. And I like seeing you happy, but I also like you knowing the truth."

"Urgh. You're gonna make puke with all the sappiness."

This, of course, invites more sappiness. "Because I love you like I'd love one of my own..." he croons, wrapping his arms around me and rocking me back and forth.

I force myself out of his embrace. "You disgust me."

"Excellent," James says. "I was beginning to worry."

"Worry about what?"

James opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, somebody bangs on the door.

I frown and get up to open it. My hand is on the doorknob when the knocking starts again, more frantic this time. I pull it open and peer through the crack. And through that crack, I see Alyssa, whose face is streaked with tears.

"Alyssa?" James gets up from the couch. "Are you okay? Where's Sara?" Sara is Alyssa's Guardian.

"You need to come," she says. "There's been an accident, and they want all the Guardians."

James looks at me, then brushes past her. I make to follow him, but Alyssa stops me. "They don't want any Keepers there, just Guardians."

"Where are the little ones?" I ask.

"Asleep already. Listen, can I just hang out here? I'm kind of...a little scared right now," she says.

"Um, yeah, sure," I step aside to let her in. She sits down on one of the chairs and sits there, staring at the wall. Like me, Alyssa has a Northerner mother, but besides the blue eyes, you'd never guess it, probably because her father is a Deliker- a member of a tribe that lives along the Delik River which runs through the same desert we live under. Members of that tribe have a much darker skin tone, and hers is only a shade lighter. The government doesn't really bother them or care if they follow the laws unless it affects anyone outside of the tribe, but otherwise, they're, for the most part, left alone. I say for the most part because every year, a person from the capitol comes and does a brain scan on every newborn child. By the time Alyssa was two months old, her parents knew she would be chosen, but it wasn't official until she was three.

Alyssa also makes  Masan seem extroverted. She mostly keeps to herself, rarely visiting other Keepers or the Rec Floor. I think this might just be the only time I've ever spoken to her outside of learning. I sit down on the couch and look at her. "What happened?"

She still stares at the wall as she answers. "I heard something about Henri, but I don't know exact details. I do know it's something bad. Really bad. Like, somebody almost died bad."

"Is that why you were crying?" I ask her gently.

She shrugs. "I can get overemotional at times. I'm probably just overreacting."

"I don't know," I say. "If something bad's happened to Henri, I'd be upset too. I am upset, but I'm not the bearer of bad news."

"I don't even know what's going on," she mutters. She wipes away a stray tear. "Sorry, I'm just really scared."

"Me, too," I say, looking at the door. "But we'll be okay."

She nods. "I think we're all just a bit..."

"Bothered?" I supply.

She smiles. "Yeah, bothered. You know, I think this is the first time I've actually sat down and had a conversation with someone other than Sara. I'm so socially awkward."

I laugh a little. "Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. You're so quiet all the time. Do you think we bite?"

"No, I'm just not good with people. I'm uncomfortable around them. I prefer one-on-one time than hanging with big crowds, you know?"

"Big crowds? Have you seen the size of this place?" I say, and we both laugh. "Come on, you should hang out with more people. You're pretty cool."

"No, I'm more comfortable around less people than more. But thanks for the compliment."

"At least try Astrid and...well, Astrid's very talkative, but you and Masan would be good company, just sitting around quietly. You should come out of your shell a little."

"I have, right now. Just give me time."

Give her time? How long does it take her to warm up to people? Fifteen, sixteen years?

I don't say this. Instead, I shrug and say, "Okay, be on your own pace. I won't force you."

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm willing to bet money (which is something I don't have a lot of) that right before midnight, 2016 will take another famous life. But, hey. Let's leave behind this year (PLEASE) and focus on the new one! Here's hoping it's nothing like this year....