October'22

October, the month of festivities, every nook and corner will be decorated with the lights and flowers, the gloom of not witnessing Durga Puja of Kolkata was vividly prevalent, but the recent eye contact with the woman of dream, had surpassed the blue of my sadness.

It was saptami, four days prior of today, the inner Bengali of me was unquenched because of lack of lusture of Durga Puja here in Delhi, but with the new found spirit, I started my journey to explore the Durga Puja of Delhi, even if the smallest one. Started at the dawn of the day, it was now dusk, the sky wax painted in vibrant purple and pink, patches of fluffy cloud adorned at the vast nothingness. I deliberately took local train instead of metro, and it was one of my best decision.

One station is yet to come before my destination, though not jam-packed like regular days, the train contained enough passanger. Capturing the essence of autumn, I was roaming my eyes at the crowd of people, observing their task, someone busy in their phone, while someone was conversing about their life. But while roaming,the expedition of my eyes paused at the certain figure.

Decked in purple cotton salwar kameez, she was standing infront of the gate, clutching the support chains. Her hair was clutched in a messy bun, a pair of silver dangling earrings was kissing her cheek with every jerk. Her left wrist was adorned with silver watch, lips were coloured in a nude shade of pink,as far as I can decipher. I don't know when she boarded, but watching her standing at the gate, feeling the fleeting breeze of autumn was sight for sore eyes.

I was so captivated memorising her every feature, I forgot the notion to come out as crazy freak for the same.

And then,she opened her eyes, adorned with thin line of kajal, her eyes suddenly met mine. And the time stopped. The bustling crowd, the unstoppable gossip, the blaring horn, everything seemed to be silent, only her eyes spoke, a language I was yet to learn, a language I was deliberate to learn.

It was for some seconds, the reverie which I was in got shattered at the mechanical voice of announcement. Everyone started to get off the train, so did I, but in the over flowing crowd I lost her, lost those eyes which expressed much than her so called poker face could. I heard everyone to discuss about her egoistic nature, which they had derived from her resting face, everyone said that, she possess no emotion, fool of those who were unable to decipher eye, the depth of those dark brown abyss. Good for them. But the one who would ever dare to dive in those never ending depth, would never want to come out from those blissful heaven. If only I could get a chance. If only.

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March'23

It's two years of my unrequited love, the coward part of me, could not get the strength to profess my feelings. I am an ardent believer of fate,but will fate do anything, if I would not approach my goal.

Our campus was decked, the annual inter-college competition was going on. I hardly engage in those events except table tennis with my best friend Raghav, we are team,and it would not be much of a brag, if I say we're one of the best team to compete with.

But today, here I am at the big stage for the final round of classic dance competition. She, she will perform today. I was amazed when I got to know that ever so poker faced egoistic, self absorbed her according to most of the student, express so much emotions at the stage with the beat of traditional song.

And here I am, praying to almighty lord to make her winner yet again, it will complete the hat-trick strike of her winning.

After the announcement of her name, the stage lit up with warm yellow light. With the beat of the song, she started delivering her performance.

Dressed in a sky blue bharatnatyam attire, her fingers expressed mudras of unknown meaning, her brown eyes which were filled with dark kajal to enhance her features, expresses every expression needed. Her ghungroo syncs with every beat of song playing.
I was lost in the euphoria, maybe the celestial nymph dances like that, my best friend had to shake me to make me come out from my heaven dream.

As expected, she was announced the winner, she was a woman of many talents, be it in study, dance or chess.
I might have forgotten to describe her awesome chess skill. She was unbeatable after she started participating in chess competition.
If only I get to know her, praise her for her immense talents. If only.

____

April'23

It was two years already, my everyday hustle with the unrequited love,that I nurtured in my heart with oh so care. After many futile attempt to confess my undying love for my lady in green, yes green, because, apparently she was in love with this specific shade of the colour.

Today was the unofficial last day of the batch of 23, before they start their almost an  year long internship. All the students from the batch were scattered around the college campus, signing eachother's white coat, dancing, clicking many pictures. It is a sight to watch, young mind rejoicing their achievements.

Standing at the secluded corner of the students block, I was prepared in crisp powder blue shirt, matching that with a pair black trouser and formal black polished shoes. One of the secondary reason for this attire was my upcoming poster presentation which will be held at evening in our department lecture hall.

My eyes were roaming the block and associated garden, where everyone was busy with posing for the camera, I made a detailed scan to locate her in midst of the bustling energized students.

And then, my eyes captured her. And as if I went in a trance. There she was standing amidst of students at the front yard of students block. Dressed in a yellow top with Chinese collar, she flaunted a pair of dark blue denim, her shoulder were draped by her white court, stethoscope adorning her neck. Her lips were streched in a beautiful smile, her eyes are glowing with abandon of happiness.

I approached her, watching the flock of students who were standing around her, getting cleared up... Her back was visible to me. I was somewhat hundred meter away, a short distance between us, a short distance between confessing my love, a short distance to live the dream I am watching while sleeping.

And then I saw something,which crushed every minute specks of dream, which broke me to an extent, I think I ever could find those pieces to join them.

Standing close to her, was standing Somvrat Singh Bundela, her alleged boyfriend, her best buddy maybe the only friend whom she regard as her, enveloping her in his protective embrace.
His lips were placed at her temple, wishing her through a warm kiss.

I had heard numerous rumours about them being in relationship,but some of genuine people who were her acquaintance, had disregarded the statement. I had seen her with him paired in every dance performance, might I add, he was an exceptional dancer. I had witnessed him rejoicing in every win of her with a broad smile. I had seen her getting tensed at the swimming competition where he, who hat-trick winner, getting lagged due to one of perfomer's treacherous attempt. I had observed them celebrating each other's win, partnering each other from the dance competition to quiz competition, supporting each other from their individual win to joined failure.

But, still I held a hope, a slice of ray of hope always shone bright amidst dark clouds of rumours. Maybe they're wrong, maybe we were misunderstanding their pure bond, maybe tarnishing the greatest bond of friendship. Maybe, too much of maybe too soothe my aching heart

But they're all true. Because if not, then would the ever introvert shy woman who never let anyone hug her be in embrace of a man basking at the warmth of his kiss, would she?

And that was the day, I took the worst decision of life.

I heard people do much ruin in heartbreak,but I never knew the intensity with which it could attack us.

Standing at the door of a bar, that day, I did the mistake, I would never forgive myself for, the sin, no repentance could earn me forgiveness.

Will I ever get myself back in the main stream of my life or I will be sank in the ocean of guilt.
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Author's note
This mark the end of prologue, from next chapter onwards, we'll delve in the main plot.

By the prologues, I want to decipher the depth of affection devrudra possess for prashmita.

Samjhawan depicts the inner urge to make our lover understand the intensity of our love, and Devrudra is in a similar situation, where he wants to confess, yet not bold enough to do.

Will fate be his ally or foe.

Until then.
Goodbye