"This is what it's come to," I mumble. "I still... can't believe..." I rub my face and take a sharp breath. "After everything we did to fight against Eden... to think we could win. I-"

"Hey. Don't talk like that," John says soothingly beside me in the Day Room, Zaria loved this room; lived in it. And I can see why. Eighteen years of living in this palace and I never really gave a second thought to the Day Room. It always seemed too bright. But now, the brightness of the Day room is the only thing that gives me hope. Three days. How long would it take? Would it ever take?

Lucy? Tyrian? They don't know. They only know what they've seen up until now. Zaria in the Crystal Cave wrapped in a frost cape and a looming dark figure above her. Is that figure Death, just how John described it as a person? Is it Eden? Is it something we can't even comprehend?

"How can you be so calm, John? You know Eden. You know-"

"I do, yes," he says, his voice even, but far off. "I have to trust that this is... okay. Zaria... she's got too much life in her for this to be the end."

"But what if it is?" I argue, my voice getting higher and my nerves becoming shot. "What if that's the reason I have my magic back? How do I have my magic back? It doesn't make any sense. I gave it up. I gave it to Zaria. John, how do I have magic?"

He shakes his head. "I'm not sure, but we'll figure it out." He leans in closer, lowering his voice. "What all does your mother know about your magic?"

"I haven't told her," I admit. "I don't know if I should."

I wasn't prepared to hear that my mother was the one to give us phony slave marks. I wasn't prepared for her to go behind our backs like that. I thought sneaky days for my mother were behind her, especially after giving her a second chance at life. But it seems old habits are hard to push aside. I don't know much about my mother's history of getting herself in trouble and I don't want to know.

What I wanted was just a normal life, with a normal mother who loves me, and a normal family. But normal is all relative.

Lucy, I think to myself. I guess I always knew something was different about her. Taller than everyone else, paler, more graceful... but Fae. I didn't expect that either.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" I ask John, changing the subject. I must have brought this up every other hour since he's been out of prison. He left the moment he felt Eden leave him. He told me about how Eden had enslaved him as her puppet and he told me about the part of Eden that were still inside him. He could feel her struggle to toy with his mind but the magic barrier that Zaria made blocked out Eden's stronger control.

"I'm not sure. No one knows. It could be in a few moments, a few months. Crista, it could be a few years."

"No," I bite, not even wanting to think about Zaria being... whatever she is... in the cave for years.

"I don't like that Lucy and Tyrian can't see anything," John says, unphased by my outburst. "They see the future, right? Why can't they see how this ends?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I think... our future rides on whether Zaria comes back or not. Two very different fates. I don't think the gods are allowing them to see the future because then where would our trust be? We have to trust. we have to," I say robotically.

"Right. I just wish I knew what exactly happened in the cave that night," John says folding his hands together. "It wouldn't change anything. I just wish I knew the truth."

I look at him. He holds his head down as he balances his elbows on his knees. He's cleaned up since he got out of prison. No one objected to his return. Zaria told Lucy about John before she went into the cave, so his story was told before he escaped. No. I shouldn't use the word escape.

Zaria left him with a vile of blood for him to get out in an emergency. I guess Eden fleeing his soul is a good reason for an emergency.

"She saved me... again," John mumbles, choking on his last word. "She keeps saving me, over and over." He shakes his head. "It's not right."

Looking up at me, the redness in his eyes is prevalent. He has not shed a tear, not that I know of. My guess is that has something to do with Damian raising him to be a monster. But I can hear his cry no matter how hard he tries to mask it.

It's nice to finally talk to him here with me instead of in between conscience. His voice is real and raw. He's here in front of me instead of a shadowy whisp of smoke wandering in darkness. It feels... wrong... to have John here and not Zaria. What am I supposed to do?

"She said she forgave me," he says, letting everything out. "How am I supposed to live with that if..."

I lower squeeze my hands together and look out the window. The sky is bright and blue like nothing has changed. Everything has changed. "I know."

Zaria changed all of our lives in such a short amount of time. I never thought something like that was possible, especially from a formal criminal. But I believe because of the challenges of her past, it is the very reason she's so wise. She's seen the world at its darkest when all she could do was hope and pray for some light. That's why she loved the stars so much; because they were always there. No one could take that light away. And it wasn't a huge light, just tiny sprinkles. But the tiny sprinkles were all she needed to feel hope.

"She won't," I say and we both know I can't be for sure.

I wish I could feel her. Just like I did when she first came to the palace. When she arrived, I could feel her magic. It refused to go unnoticed and screamed at my spirit for attention. Zaria never knew of the magic she carried before she got here and it surprises me. Her magic is a spirit unto itself. Completely separate, yet in total harmony with her.

But I can't feel her. I can't ever hear a whisper of her magic. I've called out to her more times than I can count. Maybe it's because I have... new magic? Did I ever lose it in the first place? I had to have, right? Sure, there were moments where I swore I could see, hear, and feel things that weren't entirely there, but that could have just been my mind playing tricks on me. There's no way Eden wouldn't strip me of my magic. In my book, she's right up there with Evander trying to steal magic for herself.

I didn't have magic... and now I do.

"Have you talked with Axil yet?" I ask him. John and Axil together are a mess, to say the least. They both care for Zaria so much in a very different way and neither of them appreciates the other's method.

"I tried," John says shaking his head back and forth, exhausted. "It didn't go over well."

"What happened?" I dare to ask. I know far too well what it's like to argue with Axil. His intentions are good, but his execution...

"A screaming match," he answers looking up at me with a tight smile. "I went to him the day after he... you know." He runs his fingers through his mousy brown hair. It flops in all directions. "I wanted to give him some time to himself to recover, though I don't think he deserves it."

"John," I try to say out of loyalty to Axil, though I can understand John's sentiment about him.

"He brought this upon himself. He's the one that stabbed her in the back, quite literally," he argues and I know I can't pick sides. No one is right... and no one is wrong. We just all have our different stories."

"He did what he had to do to keep Zaria alive," I say with a glimmer of hope in my voice. "I think you would have done it top."

He shakes his head, more violently this time. "Maybe I'm just- I don't know."

"No," I say. "What is it?"

Through scrunched eyebrows and squinted eyes he whispers, "He did it. I don't know how he could have done it." He looks me in the eyes. "I'd do anything to save my best friend and yet... I don't know if I'd truly be able to look her in the eyes and stick a dagger through her. I don't think I'd be able to pierce her skin till I reached her bone, cause her pain... kill her. Even if it meant she died. I-" he stops.

"I get it," I say quickly before he can draw himself in too much. "I don't know if I'd be able to do it either, but," I say hoping he won't shut me out, "Axil was faced with a decision that... if I were in his shoes, I don't know what I would have done. And for all we know, maybe that's why Tyrian said it had to be him. Maybe it's because he was the only one out of all of us who was strong enough to do what needed to be done." I look back out the window. "We were all going through some stuff, and through all of it Axil was the one who stayed level-headed... well... not all the time," I say holding back a weak chuckle.

"I just hope his decision doesn't cost us her," John mumbles.

"Did he... say something to you, something that you're holding onto?" I ask.

I know my cousin. I know how sweet he can be, but I also know some of the things that will come out of his mouth when he's not feeling so sweet and him being faced with the person who played puppet to kill him and his family is not something that would cause a sweet reaction.

"It doesn't matter," he says standing, putting his arms behind his back and rubbing the side of his nail. He starts to pace, and it is now that I see the resemblance between Zaria and John. Growing up together, I can only imagine how many mannerisms they share.

Now I know I'll have to speak with Axil. Not to lecture, but just to hear his side. I can't imagine how he must be feeling stabbing the girl he loves in the back. Or, at least I can imagine it a little bit which is why I can't be mad about his anger towards John.

"I haven't seen him around. I don't think anyone has," I mention to myself more than to John. "I don't know if he's even eating."

"He's your cousin," John says bitterly. "I know you care about him, I know Zaria cares about him. There's a whole town outside that cares about him-"

"But you could care less," I finish for him, giving him a tight smile. He looks up at me confused. "It's alright," I affirm him. "I don't blame you. If I didn't have hope that her magic will pull through, I don't think I'd be as stable."

"I've seen what magic can do. I know how powerful it can be. I can only hope that this magic and power is being used for her good."

I reach my hand out towards him and he comes back to sit down on the opposite sofa. "Can I ask you a question? Just like we used to?"

He cocks his head and considers, the left side of his face scrunching. "Sure."

"When Zaria comes back, what'll be the first thing you say to her?" I say leaning in.

He smiles and I never knew a soul as tortured as his, could light up like a supernova. Chuckling, he says, "When the moment comes, you'll find out."

And for right now, that was good enough for me.

***

I stand on the other side of Axil's door with my hand held up, ready to knock... but I don't.

I can't. Something holds me back. And maybe it's my magic that sensing I shouldn't bother him? Maybe it can sense the hurt and pain on the other side of the door without even having to see it. That should make me knock on the door and try, but I know Axil. I don't want to make him feel weak.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Lucy says softly behind me. I hadn't even seen her walk through the hallway or heard her footsteps as she got so close.

I wonder how it took me so long to realize who she truly is. How could I never make the connection before? Lucy is not like us, not in ways of kind, though she must be half. Half human half Fae. But where did the Fae part come from? The king and queen are both part of the Kingdom Realm.

She motions for me to follow her away from Axil's room and I hesitently leave my place at Axil's door.

"How bad is he?" I ask, keeping my voice low as we pass the stationed guards. "Can you see... his future, I mean?"

"Not much," she admits with tight lips. "Though, Tyrian said he could see an appearance of him tonight at dinner in the Dining Hall with everyone. So, there's that."

Her face is flat, dull even. There's always been a sheen that surrounded Lucy like the soft glow around the moon, but without it, the life in her seems dim.

"He's... going to be okay, right?" I ask hoping that maybe she or Tyrian has finally seen something. "This isn't the way things end?"

She looks down at me and her face is calm. "We still haven't seen anything about Zaria, but I still believe he did the right thing," she says.

"Then- excuse my language, but you seem a little hostile. Why?" She may be my cousin, but Lucy is still the Princess of Lumbridge and I must respect her for our Kingdom's sake.

"I gave it to him," she says and there is a slight waver in her voice.

"Sorry," I ask, not quite following.

"The dagger. I bought it at Crow's Point. I'm the one who took her there in the first place. I'm the one that handed it over to Axil to kill her." She stops, her mouth slightly open as she stares in front of her. We made it all the way to the first-floor Common Room. I look up at the painting of angels on the ceiling, millions of tiny crystals catching the light in chandeliers.

It's a shock, for everyone. No one expected our lives to come to this. No one expected Zaria to have such an impact on us, not only as a friend but as our hero. But the thing about heroes is they are supposed to be the ones that come out of a battle victorious. The hero is not supposed to die. She sacrificed herself over and over again and all it's gotten her is a little extra time for herself. But for us, she keeps saving us and we never have to pay, until now. This silence... it's suffocating. Her absence is a price I never thought would be so heavy.

Even when she first left with Lucy and we had no idea where she was, we still had hope that we would find her. We knew deep down that Zaria was alive and stronger than ever. She always had this fire in her that no one could snuff.

Her body is cold now, freezing. All she has left is a tiny little spark inside of her, and in the silence, we are waiting for that spark to kindle a new fire.

"Tyrian told me to choose the sapphire dagger for a reason, I just didn't know it at the time. The sapphire gemstone was infused with water. Not just any regular water but some from the Crystal Cave. Everything led up to this. Everything we did to try to stop the slave marks led up to Zaria being there in that cave right now. But I'm the one that put it into motion."

I sigh, "Lucy," I say grabbing her cool hand. "You can't blame this on yourself. Zaria getting marked would have happened sooner or later. I could make the same argument that it's my fault. I left her in the shack with my father, alone. He marked her... and I was right there just on the other side of the door. I could have stopped it. I could have walked in just a second earlier, and perhaps we wouldn't be sitting here right now gambling for Zaria's life. But you know Eden. She wouldn't have stopped." I pause and let Lucy feel. "Where did she go, anyway? Eden?"

Lucy and Tyrian were the when Zaria was face to face with Eden. The Ash Bond had brought them there. She was dying even then. When Lucy showed up... Eden went ballistic. I'm still not clear on what happened exactly, but the moment Lucy traveled to the Crystal Cave, Eden left.

Before everything happened I remember Zaria pulling me close to her, panicked. She knew Eden wasn't gone. She didn't know where she went but there was something that she could feel. Something wasn't right.

Her eyes look far off, not like when she sees the future and her eyes haze, but they stare like she's relieving what happened just three days ago.

"Crista." She says my name and like she is about to deliver terrible news.

"Yeah?"

Grabbing my shoulder she hangs her head and takes a deep breath. "I have faith that Zaria will come back. For all that we did, I'd be surprised if she didn't... but..."

"But what?" I ask my anxiety growing. My heart beats faster and the tension in my neck becomes tighter.

"I don't know if she will come back the same."

I try my best to unscramble the hidden meaning in her words. "Wha- what do you mean?"

"The night Tyrian and I were in the cave with Zaria... before Eden disappeared she turned into smoke?" she says the last part like a question.

"Smoke?"

"Yes. Do you remember the drawing from Willow?"

Willow. With all the chaos I had almost forgotten about her. John hasn't met her yet. I'm not even sure if he's aware that he has a sister, or vice versa. Until this is all settled out, it might be best to keep them at an arm's length away, especially with Eden looming around every turn.

"Yeah," I answer remembering the exact details Willow had drawn. She's at the age where she's tapping into her magic, and for her, she's seeing the future in drawings. I remember her waltzing into Zaria's room with a picture of her huddled in the Crystal Cave and looming over her was..."Black smoke."

"She blasted Zaria before she disappeared," she says squinting. "It's a little bit of a blur, but I remember enough. I think... there's a possibility that John feeling freed of Eden might be connected to Zaria getting hit with Eden's spirit." She bites her lip. "It knocked her down. She was weakened, to begin with, but it was a powerful blow. Tyrian and I... we didn't know what to do at the moment except get her out of there. If Eden was still hiding somewhere in the cave, we needed to get her out."

"You think Eden is inside her? Just like she was inside John?"

Pressing her lips together, she shrugs. "I don't want to believe it. Trust me, I wish upon every star that's not the case. But I know what I saw. We talked about Eden thinking that Zaria was too powerful. If Zaria wouldn't agree to ally with her, why not just take over her... just like she did to John?"

"Be prepared," she says folding her arms over her chest. "Zaria was a villain once before."