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PVO MAAM

Nayle Village, watching Nina and the other little ones as they try in vain to get Hyunckel to let them use his new sword.

Larhart has a sour face and seems to be bothered by the fact that the children do not let them continue with their training, although I think deep down he is curious about the animosity shown by the human offspring (a term he gave them when we arrived), because he does not want to show weakness to those he still considers evil beings who do not deserve the sacrifice that our dear Dai made for our race.

Thinking about my friend brings to mind the image of another person whom I want to hit at this moment for daring to abandon me.

I can't help but remember all the bad times I went through because of him.

A week ago, we had formed two groups to search for Dai.

Popp, Merle and I were one of them, but after my so-called best friend returned from seeing Uncle Matriv, he teleported us to the kingdom of Ringaia and there he requested an audience with the king, but neither Merle nor I were able to enter.

I never knew the reason why he decided to visit that place first and I also did not understand the reason for having left us in charge of the king so that he could call the wizard Foster and later he would take Merle to her grandmother in Terán and bring me to the village of Nayle , using a spell that he masters perfectly and he could have taken us there by himself.

"I am not in the best condition to use Ruura again and I would not like to end up in an unknown place so late at night... I am sorry for the inconvenience, but I thought it would be best to start the trip when I have recovered, and so as not to waste time, you can go visit your families."

That was all he said before disappearing using the spell he supposedly couldn't use due to lack of energy.

The strange thing about the matter was that Hyunckel and Larhart appeared at the castle during dinner, and it was suspicious because they had started the search for Dai, a few hours before Popp returned for us to Papunika and they also took another path.

I remember leaving the dining room with a stiff body and a feeling of disappointment when I realized that my friend had made a rather treacherous move.

Before the trip began, Popp had not wanted him to come with him and Merle and insisted until he was tired that it would be better for him to accompany Hyunckel and if Larhart had not imposed himself on him, he would have won.

"Do you really want to travel alone with her? Do you even like it?"

A strange pang in my heart forced me to stop.

I know I shouldn't be angry if he likes Merle. I don't really have the right to blame him for his attitude because I was the first to ask for time to find out if I could love him as a man, but that doesn't mean I accept him running into the arms of any woman.

I suddenly realized that that thought was very selfish.

I don't reciprocate what he wants, but I get annoyed if he sets his sights on other women.

–Maybe... –I started to say out loud –it's best for me to go with Hyunckel.

When I looked up I found myself staring right into my warrior companion.

Hyunckel looked at me with melancholy and his pain made me want to make that horrible feeling disappear from his tormented soul, so I approached him and hugged him effusively.

–How are you, Hyunckel? –I asked him without moving away from his arms that held me tightly.

–I'm slower when walking now, but I can handle the pain in my body well, so I can't complain.

–That's great! –I finally separated from him and gave him a friendly look to make him feel better. –It must have been a lot of effort, so I'll leave you to eat something and then go rest.

I hugged him again before resuming my journey.

Upon reaching the room assigned to me, I lay down to try to sleep, but the feeling of abandonment returned when I remembered that Popp wants to get rid of me and if that is what he wants, I may end up giving him pleasure.

–If I matter so little to you, then there's no point in me insisting on following you.

I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying. If I let sadness win, I'll become an ordinary woman like any other and I'm a warrior, not a fragile maiden who cowers before a man.

I barely managed to sleep for a few hours, and the next morning, Merle came to me very early to tell me that the king was able to get the wizard Foster to come for us and take us to our villages.

Hyunckel and Larhart also enlisted, and I was surprised to learn that they both intended to go with me to Nayle.

Before leaving with the magician Foster, Merle gave me a look that showed me she was not happy with that arrangement.

The wizard came back for us after a few minutes and in an instant, I found myself in front of my village.

I was so excited to see the place where I grew up again, that I ran home without waiting for anyone.

I opened the door with excessive force, almost destroying it.

My mother was frightened by the suddenness of my arrival, but the joy she felt when she saw me helped her not to scold me and we both hugged each other effusively.

–I missed you so much, daughter! –she said to me after we separated and led me to the table to sit down and talk. –Why didn't you come back as soon as the battle was over?

–I just couldn't leave Popp. The poor guy was in a bad way after what happened with Dai and I was afraid something bad would happen to him.

–I see that you care about that boy a lot more than me –she started laughing, which made me uncomfortable. –What's wrong?

–I don't care about that fool!... you have to know that the emblem that Master Avan gave me chose me as a disciple of love and charity. That's why I was helping Popp –suddenly I couldn't hold her gaze and I started to lower my voice– that's the only thing that kept me by his side.

My mother didn't say a word for several long, desperate minutes. Intrigue made me look at her again and I found her assessing me in detail.

–Is something wrong? –I didn't want to ask, but the way she looked at me was uncomfortable.

– Nothing special, daughter – she stood up and then went to the kitchen – I'm going to prepare the food, but I'm missing some plants, so I'll have to go get them from the village herbalist.

–I'm going! –I hurried to the door.

I left my house at a fast pace. It was the first time I felt like I had to escape from my mother and it was because of her reaction when I told her the reason why I had not returned to the village.

On the way to the herbalist's house, I met Hyunckel and Larhart. I felt ashamed when I realized that I had completely forgotten them and as an apology I offered to find them a place to stay. Fortunately, I didn't have to look too far, since little Nina agreed to let them stay at her house (it's not as big as mine, but since she only lives with her mother, there are two rooms available that will serve to make them comfortable for the days they are staying).

Once settled in, I invited them to eat at my house, but only Hyunckel accepted (I think Larhart didn't like me very much, or perhaps his dark nature makes him not like human food).

As the mealtime approached, I returned to my mother to help her with whatever she needed. While we were cooking, I told her about the incident with the dessert that I had first dared to make and that the foolish magician had rejected.

–He's an insensitive jerk who didn't deserve my hard work! –I expressed my frustration out loud and broke the knife I was using to cut some potatoes.

–I see you were hurt that I wasn't the first to try your dessert.

–It didn't hurt! In fact, I'm glad he didn't try it. If he had, I'm sure I would have criticized him... That fool is not nice at all. He always makes me angry with his mockery and makes me even more furious when he acts perverted looking at every scantily clad woman who stands in front of him.

–Well, Popp is a fifteen-year-old teenager. At that age all boys are curious and a little libidinous –she laughed as if it were a joke and honestly, I don't find it funny – daughter! Why are you stabbing the potatoes? At this rate they're going to turn into mush, and they won't be useful for the broth I had planned – I looked at the potatoes and found them completely destroyed.

–Sorry, Mom! I'm going to go get something else from the neighbor – I ran out of my house again.

"God of humans! Why do I get so upset lately when I talk about Popp?

It's probably because that's how brothers are and since I love him like the little brother I never had, his nonsense bothers me... yes! That's what happens to me."

I was relieved to discover that all my bad moments are due to the fact that I am reaffirming my sisterhood with Popp. At this rate I will be able to clarify my feelings faster than I thought and I will stop feeling like killing him every time I see him looking at other women, (it is not okay to be jealous of a sister because one day he will have a girlfriend, and I do not want to feel miserable).

Once again, I felt a sharp pain in my chest that prevented me from continuing to walk.

"I'm seriously starting to hate myself for having this kind of reaction when it comes to that pervert."

–Maybe I should go to a healer. I don't think this is because of him. Most likely I was affected in the heart after fighting Vearn.

With that firmly in mind, I tried to forget about my friend to focus on enjoying my time at home and amazingly I was able to help my mother finish the meal before our guest arrived.

Hyunckel introduced himself very politely, and my mother greeted him with the same kindness with which she once greeted Dai and Popp .

Hyunckel 's formal manner meant that my mother was unable to address him informally or touch on personal topics, and if he did, he only gave a very brief explanation that didn't really clarify anything.

Watching the interaction between the two, I couldn't help but compare Popp's to that of any other person. When he and Dai were here, there were never long silences or untouchable topics because they both love to talk, especially Popp. He's so talkative that the hours don't feel like they're talking, and meals go by very quickly. Plus, he was always smiling and his joy spread to us.

–What do you think, Maam ? –my mother interrupted my thoughts and I was speechless not knowing what she was asking –I see that you haven't paid any attention to our conversation –she smiled tenderly to relax me– We were talking about how you got them shelter at Nina's house and although I know that her mother has comfortable rooms, I was surprised that you didn't offer them to come with us... You know well that we have a room for two people and since young Hyunckel is another disciple of Avan and you appreciate him very much, I consider it better for him to stay here.

–But if Popp comes looking for me and decides to spend time in the village, he won't have anywhere to stay.

–If that happens, you can stay at Nina's house.

–I know, but he's already here and I wouldn't like to send him somewhere else.

Again, my mother looked at me intently to the point of making me blush under her scrutiny.

I was about to back out and ask my guest to stay with us, when my mother smiled and resumed her conversation with Hyunckel (which she was able to do, because he never spoke more than five sentences).

The meal finally ended, and my companion returned to Nina's house.

I set about washing the dishes, but since I have too much strength now, I broke two glasses and a plate.

–You have the same strength as your father! –My mother looked at me in amazement, with a few light tears welling up in her eyes. –As time goes by, you look more and more like him. There's only one thing I wouldn't like you to look like him in.

–What wouldn't you like?

–You are powerful and have great courage to face any enemy. Your father was like that too, but despite his strength, he lacked the courage of his soul.

–Mom, it is impossible for you to say that when my father was the bravest and strongest warrior in Master Avan 's group.

–Courage is not only reflected in physical power. We must also have courage in our souls, and believe it or not, there was a moment when your father was not brave.

–What was that moment?

–First answer me, is there any doubt in your heart that does not allow you to be happy?

"Of course I have thousands of doubts! But I can't tell her because knowing her, she'll end up confusing me. She appreciates Popp a lot and I already have enough problems trying to figure out what I feel for him, without my mother telling me that it's love between a couple and not between siblings that exists in my heart."

– Maam, that dessert you made has an important meaning. I once told you that if you didn't make it with the desire to make someone happy, it would taste bitter... The first time I made one was for your father. He was always first in everything in my life. My first love, my first kiss, my first wish and my first time... Now that you know that, ask yourself this question, why did it hurt you so much that Popp wasn't the first to try that dessert?... When you find the answer, you will understand how valuable it is to give the first time of your whole being to the right person, because not with just anyone can you live such wonderful experiences... Maybe you love many people, but only with one will you want to share those moments.

My mother left immediately after saying that, leaving me even more confused than before.

As I stood alone, her words echoed in my head, and I remembered the moment when Popp made Hyunckel the first to try the dessert and I realized that it had truly hurt me that I had given all my effort to someone other than him.

Since that day my heart has done nothing but accumulate cracks because the man who is supposed to love me is leaving me aside and no longer cares to fight for me.

During the battle against Vearn, he acted flirtatious and helped me not to get stressed thanks to his comments regarding our future relationship, and it seemed that he said them convinced that we would end up together and I even came to think that it would be that way. My heartbeat faster than ever every time I heard him, but now it hurts me because of the indifferent attitude he is taking.

For Popp, there is no one more important than Dai and when he lost him, his joy vanished and although he tries to smile, we all realized that that funny boy who gave us hope and who had the courage to confess to me that he loves me will never return.