Carter was staring at me. I had grown used to that specific look, but it didn't normally rattle me so much. "How long are you going to give me that face?" I asked, my eyes on my laptop, trying to get up the courage to open a specific email with information I wasn't quite ready to face.

"How long are you going to avoid Luke?" Carter replied in answer.

I felt a second pair of eyes staring at me.

Glancing up, I took in Carter and Bowser's gazes with a raised brow.

"Really? Turning our pet turtle against me?"

Carter shrugged, holding Bowser closer to my face so I could better take in the creature's slow blinky eyed stare. "Whatever helps you get your life in check."

I scowled at him, irritated. "I am sorry about... well, everything."

It had been a week since I had blown everything up and Carter and I had moved in with Lavender for what I was determined to be a short term stay. And that week had mostly consisted of me hiding in a room that was decorated in a lot of purple, eating junk food, playing Legend of Zelda: Tears of a Kingdom, watching thriller movies, and crying... a lot.

Carter put Bowser back in his tank and sighed. "You shouldn't keep saying that. Not everything is your fault. Just... some things."

"...Thanks," I said, deadpan.

Considering how epically everything exploded in my face, pulling my little brother down with me as we were forced to flee another home, Carter was taking it all quite well.

He looked around the room, brow wrinkled in frustration. "She really likes purple, doesn't she?"

I laughed, something that sounded strange to my own ears after a week of nothing but tears, and took in Lavender's plush living room, filled with purple pillows of different shades, purple suede couches with silk silver trim, a midnight black coffee table with purple coasters, and royal purple curtains that sat open against a beautiful sunny day.

Lavender's obsession with purple fit her namesake— a purple flower, but it was still overwhelming. "It's her signature color," I said in defense of the person who had opened her home to us.

"It's... a lot," Carter said, looking like all the purple was going to leap out and dye him, forcing him into a purple color coded cult.

"Don't knock it," Lavender said, walking into her living room. "Better than your sister's penchant for bright pink."

Carter's nose wrinkled again at the image. "At least she doesn't wear it all the time," he said with a wide grin. "Pink isn't thrown up all over our house..." He trailed off, suddenly sad at the mention of home.

Lavender sighed, sitting down on the edge of her coffee table, crossing her legs at the ankles, showcasing her fluffy purple slippers in all their glory as she faced my brother. "Would it make you feel better to make fun of the other purple rooms in my house?" Lavender asked with an amused grin.

Carter and Lavender had become... frenemies. Or whatever amused tolerance could be defined as. Carter who was a very honest person respected Lavender's same tendency but wasn't used to someone else who didn't pull their punches.

Everyone always treated him with kid gloves, the sick child that needed to be handled delicately. And after that article came out, I could tell people at school treated him differently too, making it worse. But Lavender refused to treat him gently. It was good for him, even if it left him a little surprised.

Carter nodded, warming up to the idea of roasting the purple queen. Lavender smiled gesturing for him to follow. "Good. Because there is a lot to make fun of."

As she and Carter left the room, Lavender turned, her long silk house coat fluttering out behind her like a cape, and gave me a pointed look. "Just read the email. It won't bite. No more hiding. Em Springs is better than that. She hunts for things, she doesn't run from them." Then Lavender was gone, and I could hear her ask Carter a question that had him laughing.

"Tell me, are pictures of purple cats atrocious?"

"Um... yes."

"Then you may want to brace yourself."

Now left alone, with only a small turtle to judge me, I opened the email.

Em— If that is in fact your real name.

We start shooting again next week. Try not to ruin Luke. I expect you on set at 3pm on Thursday.

-Dustin

My stomach sank. I wasn't ready to get yelled and stared at by everyone. But even more than that, I wasn't ready to be hated by Luke Walker. Not by the guy I had come to care about a very painful amount.

Articles had continued to come out since I went into hiding like a coward. Most of them were written by other gossip websites, showcasing Luke with a baseball cap and sunglasses, trying to inconspicuously make his way to and from the Walker Mansion and Bailey James' Ranch home, no doubt, trying to put out fires. Fires I started.

Someone had clearly seen my personal thoughts, and I had gone back to my journal, replaying the events that lead up to that terrible meeting. But after scanning through everything, I couldn't figure out who had access.

My phone was always locked and I never let it out of my sight, sleeping with it under my pillow. And my computer had been locked in the guest room safe when the gossip broke. But somehow, someone had stolen my thoughts and theories and laid them bare for the world to see.

What am I missing?

I had called Dawn after leaving the studio lot, only to learn that her line had been disconnected. She clearly didn't want to hear from me, making it clear that I had done all the work she needed, and was now cast aside, a carcass to be picked at.

I had never put much thought into who else worked for XOXO Gossip. We weren't supposed to know who the others were. Even Dawn hadn't given me her full name. I should have hidden mine better, given her a fake name. But back when I started, I was desperate for work after Carter had gotten sick, and hadn't thought that far ahead. I just needed the money.

Biting my lip as I reread the email from Dustin, I sucked in a deep breath, and did something I should have done weeks ago. I began to dig into the XOXO Gossip studio leak.

...

You can't put off the inevitable. The breakup you know is coming, the cold that you've been fighting off, the sunburn after a day in sunshine. A day filled with shooting emotionally driven romantic scenes with the man whose heart you broke... All terrible things you can't avoid.

My life had become a giant ball of inevitable events chasing me down the road. I felt like Indiana Jones running from that giant ball in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

But where Indiana Jones got to shoot things and use a whip to get away from things, I was left facing scary things with no fun accessories. The first time I was on the studio lot, I had to trick the guard and sneak on. But now, when everyone knew who you were, and hated you, there was no sneaking. Just silent, accusatory gazes following you everywhere you went.

Lavender and Delle insisted on going with me to my first day back of shooting, walking on either side of me like scary, beautiful bodyguards. They had very little in common, one wearing bright colors in high end fashion brands, while the other preferred comfort, and dark color schemes. One moved with an air of authority, demanding respect, while the other preferred to go unnoticed, itching for the shadows. But they both had a deep determination to protect me, to help me when they didn't need to. Delle's assistance angered Allie, while Lavender was helping the girl who had sort of been seeing her ex-(fake) boyfriend.

The large streets that made up the studio lot were busy, people scooting around in golf carts on their way to several different sets, shooting other movies all within a few fake city blocks of each other. But even in the chaos, I was noticed. I tugged my hoodie tighter over my head, wishing I had worn something less... colorful, my bright green T-Rex hoodie which so often brought me comfort, serving as a beacon of attention.

"Don't say a word to him," Delle warned. "Not before he's ready to talk."

I scanned the lot, startled by the timing of Delle's words until I saw Luke.

He stood, leaning against a dark brick wall, fingers raking through his hair, brow furrowed as he looked down at his phone. The sight of him sucked away all ability to breathe. My heart, squeezed tight, lungs burning, eyes blinking furiously to keep myself from shattering because it hurt to look at him. I was terrified of seeing him, of being seen and looked at with anger and betrayal. It left me itching to run. To hide and erase everything that had happened between us so I wouldn't be so scared.

"Em?" Lavender said quietly, pulling my attention away from Luke. She gave me a pointed look. "Delle's right. Don't push him."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. If I could barely keep the tears away, the guilt and embarrassment, how could I act? How could I pretend I wasn't breaking?

...

The scene I was shooting took place in a large amphitheater, my character doing a joint concert with Luke's, after our characters had begun to date. Crowds of extras were already shuffling into the seats, waiting to play their part as adoring fans. I could tell by the excited buzzing coming from them, it would require very little acting.

But as I stared at myself in the mirror, wearing a somewhat skimpy leather outfit that my character would perform in on stage, my hair a wild mess of curls, lips painted a blood red, eyes blooming with smokey makeup, I suddenly didn't think I could pull off an elaborate scene in character. Music began to thump loudly from the stage, making the dressing room vibrate loudly around me, sending the large makeup mirror rattling before me.

I could feel every beat down to my bones, serving as a wild angry clock, reminding me how little time I had left to wrap myself in character and shove my feelings away. Delle was already in place, getting the backup dancers ready for our scene, while Lavender was getting her hair and makeup done, her scene next on the list. So I was alone for the first time since stepping on the lot. And the sudden silence left me on the verge of throwing up, mind spinning in panic, as I thought of the thousands of people sitting in the seats, the cast and crew waiting to start, eager for me to screw up.

I don't know if I can do this...

The door opened behind me and I was surprised to see Andrew Walker in the doorway. He took one look at me and closed the door behind him, shutting out the loud music on stage. "How you holding up?"

Andrew wore a grey t shirt covered in sawdust, wooden horn rimmed glasses somewhat dusty on his face, no doubt from the next set he was building.

I slouched down on the chair in front of the mirror, tense. "Depends. Are you here to yell at me?" I didn't know the other Walker brother very well. But after seeing how he handled Delle's detective past, I knew he was a level headed, rational, and immensely kind person. Someone who was the calm to Delle's chaos. A steady current to Delle's storm. But I had destroyed his brother, so I didn't expect any of that rational pushing my direction.

Andrew leaned against the closed door, letting out a long sigh. "No. I think you've had enough of that already." He paused, quiet for a long moment, thinking.

His attention irritated me. "Well don't let the line of people waiting to yell at me stop you from getting your shot in," I said, raising my chin, trying to keep my voice steady.

He shook his head. "No. Allie and Aiden are enough for just about every occasion."

"Delle sent you?" I asked.

He offered an apologetic shrug. "Delle wanted me to check on you," he said honestly.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked. His lack of hostility didn't make sense.

Andrew's eyes grew soft. "I know you helped catch the person responsible for killing Kacey Grail. The person who almost killed Delle earlier this year. She told me."

My face bloomed red, heart hammering wildly. "Does Luke know?" I asked.

Does he know that I have been meddling in his family longer than he's even known me? That I worked with Delle on a past case that caught a murderer but threw his family into the spotlight?

Andrew shook his head. "It's not my secret to tell. Delle and I don't keep secrets from each other. That's the only reason why I know."

"Luke will be angry at you for not telling him," I said quietly.

Crossing his arms, Andrew offered me a small smile. "He kept Delle's detective secret from me. It's his turn to be in the dark for a bit." When I didn't smile at his comment, Andrew changed gears. "Luke's been angry for a long time, Em. We may have grown up together, but Luke has always lived with a deep rooted fear of being in the spotlight."

I raised a brow and Andrew gave a sad laugh. "Yeah, the actor who doesn't like attention. It's not about being seen in general, it's being known. He doesn't care if people analyze the characters he plays, those are shields, a layer of protection, just like the Walker persona he has played for so long. But..." Andrew's expression grew thoughtful. "You made him smile again. You made him believe that being seen wouldn't destroy him."

I looked away, my chest aching at his words. "And now I've destroyed it."

Andrew pushed off the wall. "I don't know if he'll come around," he admitted. "But I like you with him, so I'll put in a good word if he becomes open to it."

He turned towards the door, hand on the knob before I opened my mouth, forcing myself to ask the question that had been burning inside of me for the last two weeks. "How is he?" Andrew didn't have to ask who I was talking about.

"He's... broken, Em." He looked at me over his shoulder, seeming unable to keep the honesty from coming out. "But I think... if you are smart, you can help fix it. Just... don't push him to talk. Not before he's ready."

Allie walked in, nearly slamming the door into Andrew's face as he jumped back, out of the way. She looked at him, surprised before promptly ignoring him and looking towards me. Clearly taking the sight of Andrew in my dressing room, having a civil conversation as evidence of him being "Team Non Em Hater," AKA, her enemy.

"That... is not what you should be wearing," she said after Andrew left. I looked down at my clothes, surprised. "Didn't you—"

"No," he said, rummaging through a nearby rack of clothes. "I designed something else."

For a second, I was convinced Allie was about to take revenge out on me via clothes, but what she pulled out was too beautiful to be considered any sort of revenge plan. I stared at it, in awe. "But... it's beautiful," I murmured, eyes wide.

Allie's lip twitched and I could tell that I had hit on a secret. She loved to be praised for her work, and she was fighting my honest reaction and her instinct to be flattered. "It would be idiotic to put you into something terrible... No matter how much you deserve it. It would reflect poorly on me, not you," she said gesturing for me to change. "The piece you are in now is atrocious."

I began to change. "But... didn't you design this one?"

"It was a first draft when Lavender was playing the main character. You are two different body types. The stupid assistant director took one look at the clothes and decided to try and get one of the girls to wear it." Her eyes flashed with irritation, muttering as she began to pull accessories off of a shelf. "You don't have to show off everything in order to showcase beauty," she muttered.

As I looked in the mirror I was filled with gratitude. I felt powerful, seen but not exposed. I felt strong. Something I desperately needed to feel. "I... thank you," I said quietly, swallowing.

Allie shook her head. "Don't. Just doing my job. If I wasn't, I wouldn't even be talking to you right now." She paused. "But you do look good, so you're welcome." She walked towards the door. "But don't talk to me again. I don't trust myself not to punch you in the face." Then she left.

Kevin, the casting director stuck his head inside my dressing room, his expression flustered after nearly colliding with Allie in the hall. "Hey Em, it's time."

He didn't need to tell me, I could tell by the loud roar that filled the hallway behind him that Luke had arrived, and was already on stage, ready to shoot our scene. A scene where we had to be 'in love,' something that felt too messy and impossible to pull off.

"It's showtime," I muttered following Kevin down the long hallway that led to the stage, terror following me with every step.

---

Thank you for reading chapter thirty six! I hope you are enjoying the story! Or are at least curious to see where it goes!

UPDATE DAYS - A NEW CHAPTER EVERY FRIDAY!

Em and Luke are going to talk for the first time since everything has happened! How will shooting a scene in front of thousands of people go?

How will Luke react to her?

How are Allie and Delle doing? Is Allie still mad at Delle?

How are Aiden and Tate? Especially now that Tate realized Aiden knew about his feelings for Laliana?

Or Andrew and Luke, since Andrew is still being kind to Em?

Who do you think is after Luke?

What do you think will happen next?

CHAPTER QUESTION - Have you ever had to preform in front of people before? How did it go?