You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home.

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul.

And it's the only thing that I know.

Ed Sheeran's voice came from my radio and a ragged whine tore through my throat, knowing that I had to get up. I didn't like that song, either; it was just a reminder that I'll never have someone to love or to love me because I can't trust one bloody person.

I shakily get up, I hate the mornings.

"Ashton! Ashton,baby! Time to get up!" I hear my mother yell from downstairs. "I am up," I weakly mumble, standing up so I can get dressed. I just wore a sweater and a pair of skinny jeans as usual, and went through my morning routine. "Aren't you going to eat?" My mother asks as I arrive downstairs, packing up for school. "I'll eat at school," I lie, tiredly.

"Alright, sweet pea. Let's go, then."

✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠

"Hey, Ash! Wait up!" Calum rushes to my side, greeting me with a smile. I wish I could smile. "Hello," I reply, hoarsely. I'm beginning to warm up to Calum, he seems friendly but I still can't trust him. I can't trust anyone. "I'm having a party an-" I shake my head, cutting him off. "No," I answer right away. "Wait. What? Why not?" He asks me, I can tell he's disappointed.

"You know what happens at parties! People get drunk and there's sweaty teenagers making out, I'm sorry, but no!" I'm not going to go to a party where I'll end up getting drunk or something, never. "Please," He begs, making me shake my head. "No, my mum wouldn't even let me if I wanted to. Which I don't. Besides! If you're seen with me no girl's going to want to get with you; I'm a freak."

He frowns, "You're not a freak, Ash," He says as if he actually know something. I laugh halfheartedly, "Don't say that when you don't know me, Cal. I could be an axe murderer for all you know," I huff out, feeling frustrated with the boy. "Well, I still don't think you are. Whatever, you'll be missing out on a lot of fun!" He sings, making me roll my eyes. "Hangovers and STD's, sounds like a lot of fun."

He glares at me, "You're not very fun," He mumbles, making me scoff. "Obviously, if you don't like that then go hang out with Luke and his friends. They love getting wasted and spreading their gossipy-ness and STD's. While you're at it, have fun getting brainwashed in to a sociopathic jerk," I mutter, feeling more bitter and upset than I usually am.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, and I sigh. "Sorry, I'm just not in a good mood today. I couldn't sleep," I tell him, it's the truth. He grins, "It's alright. Just- Think about the party, okay?" He asks hopefully. I won't be there, I can promise myself that. "I guess... Don't get your hopes up, I don't like things like that," 'Cause you'd rather stay in your bedroom and mope.

I've seen the movies, people end up hooking up with people and then their hearts get crushed in to smithereens. If I'm ever going to find a guy to love, it's not going to be in an alcohol infested environment with sweaty teens as the inhabitants. Calum sighs, "Whatever. That's fine, maybe another time though... Yeah?" He asks hopefully, I shake my head again. "If we ever hang out outside of school, I'd rather it not be at a party. Sorry."

He shrugs, but nods his head. "Alright, I see your point. I gotta get to class so... See you later?" He questions, I nod my head in approval. "Yeah, I will. See ya, Cal," My nickname for him is not out of trust, it's out of a slightly (I think) growing friendship. If I could even consider this a friendship, that is. I turn around, only to see Luke Hemmings eyeing me with amusement.

"What's so bad about parties? Hmm? And just so you know, I'm actually a virgin so... No STD's for me," He grins proudly. "You'll probably be there, that's what's so bad. Now if you'll excuse me, I have no time to talk to delinquents. I must get to class," I grumpily snap, my rudeness showing. "What have I ever done to you?" He asks, making me grit my teeth in annoyance. "It's not what you do to me, it's what you do to the other kids. You're an asshole."

I have no problem speaking my time a majority of the time. It's not as if I'm going to be alive much longer to deal with the consequences. "What do you mean?" He questions, curiously. "I mean, you  always bully children for no reason," I grumble, making him frown. "You mean the faggots?" He asks, resulting in me glaring at him. "No, I mean the people. Just because they're gay doesn't mean they're not people, you prick."

He throws his hands up in defense. "Those 'people,' are disgusting. Haven't you read the bible?" He asks, making me frown this time. The bell rings but at this point I don't care. "No, but do you really think God wrote it? No. Hate filled bigots wrote it, people wrote it. If God makes no mistakes and loves all of his 'children,' he would have obviously made homosexual people and still love us," I argue.

"Us? Do you mean you're a queer?" He asks with disgust filling his voice. "No. I mean all of use people, we're all the same down to the bone, so I don't get why problems occur when a boy likes a boy or if a girl likes a girl because in the end we're all the same on the inside! We all die and decompose until we're just bone and dirt, we all have the same life cycle; and we all have the same hearts on the inside of us. Obviously people like you are too stuck up and idiotic to understand that, though."

✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠

September 15, 2014.

Dear journal,

 I rejected Calum's party offer and stood up to Luke Hemmings.

Then he beat me up.

 Sincerely, Ashton.

✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠✠

This chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but I still hope you enjoyed it. Love you all. ♥