Dear dejected journal

Have you ever had a friend?

I mean a real friend. Not ones that claim to be but then when your back is turned they talk. Ones that when you need them the most they do a vanishing act.

No, I'm talking about ones that are actually there for you, people that care. People who want to know all the little details about yourself that you thought were stupid.

Yeah, me neither.

You know I'm starting to think I've never had a true friend and it might stay that way till my death. Because actually, I've had many fake friends but never any real ones.

You see today one of my so called friends decided to acknowledge I exist again. She said hi to me in the corridors and asked how I was. Funny, since she was the first person to abandon me when it became the trend in school to pretend I didn't exist. Humans. Though, to be honest, she's probably the closest thing to an actual friend I've had.

Being alone is what I'm used to. Just a small, insignificant mouse in a building full of tigers. Forever alone. Always invisible. No one would even notice if I just disappeared. And honestly, that's exactly what I feel like doing sometimes.

If I disappeared. Actually disappeared from all existence. I wonder what would happen. Would all those people who hurt me see their wrong doing? Probably. You see cause when you're gone that's when people realise how important you were to them and how horrible they actually are. 

Though sometimes I wonder if this is my own fault. A taste of my own medicine. In that perspective, I guess I deserve this. I deserve to be alone.

I lied. Honestly, I don't know what I feel anymore.

Laughter and smiles.

-Me

***

A/N I'M ALIVE! Yes, I haven't disappeared again. I apologise for not updating like I promised. I had an English Mock exam to prepare and sit so writing time was kinda cut short. As thanks for being so patient, I've given you guys a double update. Hope that made up for it :) 

Until next time shotting stars, shine brightly

xoxo - Olux75