"Sometimes the spirit of a man isn't strong enough to survive the ghosts of his past"
-Colleen Hoover

Two weeks later

"Entreat me not to leave thee, or return from following after thee." A circle of flames surrounded Lisa, she smiled and looked into Anna's eyes. "For whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge." Their voices echoed through the cold corridors of the Silent City. "Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried." She took another step closer to her friend until her circle of fire merged with Anna's. "The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me." They spoke the last words of the parabatai oath under the supervision of a Silent Brother.

Lisa gripped her stele more tightly as she drew the binding rune on Anna's arm. She closed her eyes and felt the heat of the flames on her skin as Anna took turns drawing the rune on Lisa's shoulder with precision. She had never felt so close to Anna. Something she desperately needed in these times, commitment. Her eyes lit up, Lisa smiled for the first time in weeks. They put their steles back and her parabatai pulled her into a familiar hug.

The Silent Brother announced the end of the ceremony by escorting them outside. They climbed the steps of the dark and cold city side by side, on their way to Idris. There would be a party in honour of their ceremony. Anna was wearing a bright yellow dress for the occasion, which looked beautiful on her. She whispered another compliment in her direction, which made her laugh.

"That black dress isn't bad either," she winked. Lisa blushed, the dress came to her ankles and she had to admit it matched her new parabatai rune nicely.

Sunlight touched her face, she felt at home when she saw the demon towers of Idris light up. Her friends were waiting for the duo, each dressed in formal shadowhunter uniforms. When Jonathan saw them, he embraced his sister and Lisa. She could see how proud he was of them both. His gaze lingered in hers for a moment before turning and joining his parents. She felt like part of the Starkweather family, even more than before. It was the first time Richard looked at her with pride. She heard Marianne say they were going to be great parabatai.

Anna strode over to Olivia, more confident than she'd ever seen her. The corner of Lisa's mouth turned up as Anna kissed the black-haired girl on the cheek. She was glad she had the guts to do it in public.

She on the contrary. Again her eyes drifted to Jonathan, who was wise enough not to stare back. She had insisted for days that Thomas would come back. That he had destroyed the scepter on his own, for their safety. Or that at worst, he'd handed the weapon to the Clave, like an exemplary Centurion.

None of that was true. Otherwise, they would have known long ago, he would have come back already. Now she could only imagine what he was up to with this ancient scepter.

It seemed as if her friends had erased events from the past month from their memories. Everyone smiled and didn't seem terrified of being cheated by a supposed ally.

The faint rays of the sun shone on the golden banquet hall, which Lisa quietly walked into. Tables were covered with fruit and drinks, all in their honor. Her mother sat at one of the tables, absently picking a bunch of grapes. Like Lisa, she realised that after this day, she would never leave Anna's side again. She would continue to live with them in the Institute of Antwerp. Lisa didn't regret it.

*

The end of the party announced itself at sunset. Lisa had shaken hands with hundreds of shadowhunters and downworlders. She wasn't used to being the center of attention and that resulted in a splitting headache.

Loaded with the gifts they had received — mostly books and weapons — they left for the Starkweather home. The mansion was located just outside Alicante and would be their residence this night. The white villa loomed before them, it had been years since Lisa had visited it. She remembered the warm fire and the old library all too well.

She sat at the back on Swift Wind's back and gripped Anna even tighter. She had never really been fond of horses. Her friend shouted that she better enjoyed the view. The setting sun turned to gold on the green hills, her hair fluttering in the wind. She only now realised how much Anna had missed Idris, it was and remained the place where she had grown up before she moved to Antwerp. She dismounted with Anna and walked towards the house. Richard's sister was waiting for them in the entrance hall, tufts of white-blond hair falling before her eyes as she greeted them.

"How big you have grown." She clapped her hands and took care of Max and Lot. Her enthusiastic mood contrasted sharply with Richard's perpetual frown. As if the whole party wasn't enough, Marijn – Anna's annoying cousin – stepped over to them. Much to her surprise, he said nothing, just a small wave of the hand telling them to follow him up the stairs.

"These are your rooms." His eyes apply along with Lisa and Anna's parabatai runes. Something told her that Marijn was jealous.

"Thank you Marijn, I can still remember where my room is," Anna snapped at him. Like a beaten dog, he disappeared back into the shadows. Her friend rolled her eyes, trying to hold back a smile. Her smile soon turned into a yawn, it had been a tiring day.

"Good night everyone," Anna gave her another glance and disappeared into her room without anything. Lisa guessed that she should sleep in the spare room, although she was suddenly no longer tired. She felt like fighting, doing something useful.

Reluctantly she walked to the guest room, when she looked back, she saw a black-haired girl slip into Anna's room. With a crooked smile on her face, she opened the door, a large four-poster bed stood in the center of the room. The walls were a ghastly bright green, yet she felt comfortable there. Lisa settled down on the soft bed and glanced at the new bow and books she'd been given. Someone must have dropped them off here. Restlessly, Lisa got up again, with some effort she managed to open the window to the balcony. She looked out at the cozy lights of Idris in the distance. The moon lit up the meadows, her eye fell on a group of rabbits quietly munching on some grass.

She was startled when a hand grabbed her shoulder. As she expected it was Jonathan's hand, she gave him a faint smile. His hair glowed white in the moonlight, he leaned against the railing beside her.

"You haven't forgotten him yet." He turned his head towards her, causing her to look away. She didn't want him to see her tears.

"Of course not." She heard her voice break. "He lied and deceived us. He just took advantage of me." She began to sob, no longer caring what Jonathan thought. To her relief, he pretended she wasn't falling apart. "And yet- I still miss him." She felt a lump in her throat. It was true, Thomas had been there for her whenever she needed warmth. He had confided in her with his secrets.

She thought back to the scars on his upper body, his shame, and his gratitude. That couldn't be a lie, could it? Jonathan ran a hand through his hair and looked down, speechless. She should have listened to him and Anna, they had never trusted him. Lisa was afraid she could never let anyone in her heart again.

Then she glanced at the boy next to her, Jonathan had long since taken a place in her heart. Again she had to smile. Someone had once taught her how to look not at the things you lost, but at what you have gained.

Lisa put her hand on Jonathan's, he turned his face to her in shock, their noses almost touching. She'd been distant for the past few weeks, looking for herself. She said she had found herself.

She leaned forward, to her surprise he turned his face away. Her lip brushed against his cheek. A startled sound escaped her lips before Lisa squeezed them together.

"Lisa," he whispered, "I should never have kissed you at the party. I love you, but I get that you have no feelings-"

"I love you too," she silenced him. It felt like those words were a heavy weight, now lifted from her. For the second time, she leaned forward, working herself up on her tips.

Their lips touched gently, Jonathan pulled her closer, his hands wrapped around her waist. Their kiss was calmer, more restrained than at the ball, his lips moving slowly over hers.

When he stepped back, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes turned to the ground in shame. "Do I see you tomorrow?" he said, trying to seem calm. She smiled and nodded. He dashed out of the room and her heart flared again. She hadn't felt this warm in a long time.

Lisa turned back to the plains, the moonlight. Anna's parabatai rune on her shoulder and the lingering sensation of Jonathan's kiss went through her mind. What could ruin this day?

"Nice to see you forgot about me so quickly." The voice woke Lisa up from her daydream. She heard voices before, but this one sounded real. She quickly turned, there was no one to be seen. " figured it would be with that weakling." Only now did she notice that the voice was coming from above. Hesitantly, she looked up, only to see Thomas sitting on the roof.

For a moment she was happy, he had returned. She would finally get an explanation. On the other hand, he'd just seen her kiss Jonathan, which he clearly wasn't happy about.

Thomas snorted, "I'm guessing you want answers?" Lisa nodded in agreement, which made him laugh. "Always so curious. Well, I give you a choice. Either you trust me and you willingly come with me. Or I'll have to force you to come and neither of us wants that." Her breath halted, she couldn't trust him. Never again.

"I can't leave," she squeaked.

Thomas sighed, "Your wish is my command." He grabbed her arm and before Lisa could scream, the duo disappeared like ghosts in the fog.

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