Everything seemed to be happening in a blur - yesterday was a blur I tried recalling it but it felt like I was trying to fit uneven pieces together and I felt like I was just a piece in my own life- maybe it was because I cried until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. It can't be that men like this exist. It can't be that such an evil exists- I knew I could be a bit delirious and try and find the best in people because I somewhat believed in chances but this... this was something else. I felt my stomach turn in pure fear. I found no words to describe him... or the fear he erupted through the cells of my body.

I had woke up early this morning with cramps- they weren't as severe as what I knew was coming but they were still bad. Lachlan helped me shower and get ready-he didn't seem to mind at all it was as if he didn't traumatise me by killing someone in our fire place. I still couldn't take a bath other wise I would have panic attacks. The Viking man decided we would go to the Doctor first to see if I would be okay to travel. The pills I was given the last time were nothing.

I wasn't crying anymore even though I still trembled as if it was negative one hundred degrees at his touch this seemed to amuse him, I made sure that I didn't in anyway pull away -little things would set this man off.

Irene's friend on the other hand had been disturbingly helpful you would swear that she was innocent. She had been terribly nice to me this morning before I could even speak she was there making sure everything I needed I had, at first sight I had choked at her presence because the images the filled my head were clear and brutal- I didn't cry though I don't think I had anything left. I actually felt sorry for her, I could see the fear through her breathing and movements. I knew it was not easy losing a loved one.

I cried too much yesterday, having a nightmare that woke me up in the middle of the night to find myself in the arms of the man that caused those nightmares was a different type of reality check. I didn't fight when I woke up heavily breathing and scared out of my mind, I was a frozen crying mess. Instead he had soothed me back to sleep rubbing small circles at the back of my waist- I don't even remember when he had got the warm chocolate milk but a part of me was appreciative that he was so sick he knew exactly how to calm me down because he knew everything about me. I fell asleep in his arms that had been so possessively around me.

The only thing that made not cry about being alive was the idea of being out of this quiet place, I would grow mad, hearing Lachlan tell me that the doctor would determine if we would go made me hate my cramps even more but maybe this time they would actually kill me before he does. How long before I'm the one being dragged across the room without eyes. I shivered at the thought.

That's how I ended up on this bed seeing another Doctor. She was still examining me I felt better after she gave me some pills after I had rejected the injection-of course when I rejected the injection Lachlan was not in the room. It was only a matter of time before the period pains of hell started- I think this was the third time I thought they were coming but yet again they proved to be spontaneous as always.

My eyes were closed as the Doctor finished up, my mind was on the man outside even though he had stepped out a few minutes ago for a call he made sure to come and check on me from time to time. I couldn't even say that this was another bump in the road. I chuckle when I remember the fact that I had said I would 'help' him deep down I knew there was nothing to help but what else would I do. This was damnation.

I don't know how to explain it but his eyes haunted me, they told me everything and confirmed that this was nothing.

I felt numb, who would I go to -the police? His family? Who would help me. I no longer had the hope of my sister I wanted her so far from here, I had a feeling that if she tried to take me away from him he would kill her- just that thought alone made me have a new determination. Serenity can never know.

'Pray.' Her voice filled my mind with reassurance and message of hope. At the thought of my sister facing Lachlan my cheeks suddenly became wet, I hadn't even felt the tears leave my eyes. My mind was restless. I have been praying though maybe I haven't been praying enough or the right way.

'Heavenly Father. I don't understand- I'm sorry my throat hurts I'm unable to say these words out loud but you are a God who knows all right- at least that's what Serenity says.' Wait is that even how you are supposed to pray maybe I have been praying the wrong way. I could feel my tears travelling beyond my chin as I tried to collect my thoughts and recall all that Serenity said about prayer.

My sister was the religious one. I believed in God but I knew I was a lukewarm Christian maybe that's why I felt God has turned his face from me. But I knew he didn't hate me so I didn't understand how he allowed us to meet. I didn't understand how he allowed me to fall into the hands of such an evil man.

Serenity was the one who made sure we prayed, read the word of God and went to church which wasn't many times because she was gone most of the time which is why I didn't bother with a lot. I only prayed when she was back and only read the word when she was back.

I had a lot of questions for God that I felt were left unanswered. 'If you have questions read the word of God and ask God he will speak to you.' That's what she would say- I found it a little too unreal that this mighty voice that would make the earth tremble and all creation bow would speak to me. I felt I didn't pray enough or did the right thing or read the Bible enough to be graced by God's presence. I also had a lot of anger and I felt it wasn't right to be angry at God therefore I just focused on other things.

Okay Serenity said we first acknowledge who we are praying to - okay 'God who created the heavens and the earths.' I paused holding my breath I didn't recall what else she said. I was trying to remember how she said we should pray when I asked her to help me but that was all I could remember and right now I felt there was no one here for me aside from the man upstairs. Serenity says God is always listening.

I know we haven't spoken in a while -I don't even know where to start but I'm scared. I'm so scared. I'm not asking for a lot I'm just asking that you get me away from this man. The thought of Lachlan made me shudder. He wasn't in the room but I felt paralysed.

I felt nothing but just pure terror as I sat with my eyes closed. A part of me was more terrified because it wondered what he was planning on doing next and the fact that there wasn't a speck of remorse in his eyes killed me. He consumed my mind I couldn't stop thinking about him and what he would do next.

"Miss Khumalo." I slowly opened my eyes all of a sudden feeling bad that I might have made the Doctor uncomfortable with my new found tears.  She looked like she genuinely cared as I looked into her deep green eyes that looked familiar, the smile on her face that had tiny specks of freckles made me feel a little better. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a neat bun. I was seeing a different doctor because she specialised in my condition. We went to her because she needed certain equipment in her office to examine me.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, It won't happen again." My voice was croaky and soft as I assured her.

"Please don't apologise for crying." She said sudden sadness in her eyes. But somehow the care in her eyes seemed deeper than care of a stranger- I couldn't quite explain it. I paused watching her.

"Do you maybe know how to pray?" She raised a surprised brow before smiling at me. I tried to brush of the feeling thinking maybe I had done more than enough of being sad.

"Well ummm- my Dad would kill me if he knew I couldn't answer this question- but when I pray I just usually tell God what is in my heart and I'm confident he listens." She said as she continued.

"Okay." I said before closing my eyes and trying again.

"I'm sorry for the stupid question but I can't help that it's human nature, are you okay?" She asked her voice filled with concern, it seemed like it was a question she had been dying to ask me for some time. The worry and care in her eyes made me shift- it's been a while since I have seen anything like it.

"No, but there is not much I can do about it so it's fine. I'm fine -I will be fine.. I think."

There was silence as she started to examine me again, she was no longer making notes. If I didn't know any better I would say she was doing the same thing over and over again. I didn't question her though because being around another human being who didn't hate me or was not the Viking man was refreshing.

"I don't know."

"May I give you some unfiltered friendly advice?" She paused looking at me. She touched me as if I would break.

"Yes."

"If you are in a situation you can't control and there is nothing you can do about it, you can cry and be sad for the duration of what is left of your life... or-" I was confused by the way she acted around me.

"Try and make the best of it- survive." She said at that moment even though anyone could have said that it felt like she was a guardian Angel. Annie had said something like this before but at this moment it felt different.

"Either way it doesn't change the situation. This makes you have some power over it." It's easier said than done.

"But never forget that your loved ones will never let anything happen to you so as they 'pray' for you make sure that you don't get yourself killed. You of all people know that Serenity would rather die than see you hurt." Ringing filled my ears as my eyes widened.

"Everything will be okay, just remember what you have been taught." She then said before smiling and taking a step from me leaving me bewildered and confused with other mixed emotions. Above all else I was speechless tears coming to my eyes at the mention of my sisters name but I quickly wiped them away. Before I could say anything the Viking man walked in, his presence commanding attention.

"What's wrong?" He slowly analysed my features... he seemed like he was ready to take lives.

"Just the crams again." I said smiling up at him as his hands connected with my neck before placing a kiss on my forehead. Lachlan didn't care who was around when it came to me neither did he keep his hands to himself but because of the man he was and the stench of death and power around him -if anyone was to see him placing a simple kiss on my forehead it was not the same as we would see in the movies- everything about the man was dangerously possessive.

"You will be fine- right Miss Keigh." It didn't sound like a question. Even I got tense at the atmosphere. I could feel the Doctor also tense up as he faced her -she straightened up, it was like she had switched into someone else. Her aura was that of an innocent doctor although one thing she wasn't faking that was clearly evident was the fear that swallowed her eyes while when she looked at the Viking man.

I stopped my thoughts from running trying to focus. Even though he faced the doctor I was still in his hold. If only he was not crazy.

Fear is something you never show to anyone.

I blinked a few times hearing her voice in my head. It's been a while. I was losing myself, I was starting to forget who I was- understandably he has killed so many people in front of me and this was all new to me so I understood but I had to do better. It was hard realistically speaking but I had to -I didn't want to cry anymore.

I looked at my trembling hands trying to stop them from trembling. I took in a deep breath -my sister didn't prepare me for this. I thought I could handle anything but this -this was something else but I had to do it I had to do better. If it means I also lose my mind than so be it. So what is the plan how could I ... survive this. -right now I had no answer but I knew I had to stop being scared and actually face this man.

I raised my eyes watching him facing the doctor..but he was so terrifying. I closed my eyes once more. Just pretend it's the first time you saw him back in home in that club with Anele. Just push the fear at the back of your mind but don't forget don't make the mistake of forgetting who he is- One thing you have come to learn is that he won't hurt you unless you do something he doesn't 'agree' with. It wasn't necessary a safe range because the man was sick but I had at least somewhere to start.

"Is she well enough to travel?" He cut straight to the point, there wasn't anything inviting when he interacted with other people I noticed. He was calm and collected yet everything in your body warned you of him just by his presence alone. I thought he was scary before but I realised when he spoke to me some how his eyes were less clouded. If I was in her shoes I don't think I would have been able to even form a sentence. How did I not notice this the first time- probably because I was lost in the hue of his eyes that sent shocks all over my body and now was a fear of mine.

"Lachlan I would really like to go to the wedding." I somewhat croaked as the possibility of not going flooded my mind, I wouldn't be able to survive going back with him after everything. I needed to settle my thoughts, I needed to think about anything else aside from my sister and what this Doctor just said - I needed a new plan. He watched me amusement in his eyes. I also needed to form better memories with him.

"The wedding doesn't matter love, if you can't make it then it can easily be postponed." He said. You would think for such a sick man his voice or energy would always be up or too much but it was the opposite, he didn't have a soft voice it was far from it, it was a deep baritone that when he spoke he didn't need to repeat himself -he didn't need to shout either that was the impact of his voice alone the accent made things steeper- if I may.

I was speechless for a second as I watched him.

"You can't postpone someone's wedding Lachlan." I said looking- something inside of me told me he would, I had not doubt. Yet he still surprised me- I could never wrap my head around him. He raised a thick clean brow at me. Did he truly not understand how that would affect the lives of people actually getting married, did he truly not understand that this would be a bad thing.

"Lachlan you can't postpone someone's wedding just because I can't make it."

"Do you not wish to go?"

"I do but I don't want someone's wedding to be cancelled in my name. Don't you understand that it's a very special day to whoever is getting married and I'm sure they are overjoyed and counting down the days to walk down that aisle and it would not be right of you to mess up those plans." I said my brows knitted together trying to reach out to a part any part of that in him that might have a little humanity.

"They can still do all of that on another day." His eyes were blank. It was as if my explanation did nothing to him- it did nothing to make him understand.

"Uhm-yes -yes she can, nothing seems out of place but I have prescribed a few meds for when the cramps come back and I would like to see her again when they do." The woman said helping me in a way- I could go and there wouldn't be any cancellation of weddings. I only smiled at her as I watched him continue to speak with her, zoning them out I wondered where this would end and where Serenity was but above all else deep down I no longer wanted my sister to come for me. I didn't want her anywhere near me him.

I didn't want her losing her life because of me.

...

The dark haired woman with blue eyes like no other watched the brown eyed woman with honey brown skin sitting before her in the dark office, it's been a while since they have been under the same roof- she just recently finished a job for her. The atmosphere for the first time between them was somber as they sat in her office having a drink.

"You know you could have rang the bell like everyone else, there was no need to put so many of my men down." She felt the woman just wanted to prove a point because she didn't like her security team - she didn't take her seriously because no one would ever be good enough in her eyes when it came to her protection. She understood that she was very protective when it came to her.

The blue eyed woman was unsettled even though she was happy about seeing her -it wasn't under business or -well business.

"I needed to blow off some steam, plus I didn't kill them they are just 'sleeping'. I told you to get another team -Garson and his team are lazy."  She watched the brown eyed woman carefully. Something in her eyes was different - there was worry in her eyes. Such a foreign intruding emotion- she concealed it well but she could see it, a tiny speck -sure enough only because she was somewhat familiar with her.

"You rang." She said. The woman looked at each other each of them feeling different emotions at the time -

"Let it go." The blue eyed woman exclaimed getting to the point. She wasn't one to beat around the bush neither was she.

Her blood was boiling. She couldn't believe how reckless she had been. How could she have allowed this to happen. She couldn't do the one thing that she had sworn to herself she would do for the remainder of her life which was to protect her- at all costs. All these thoughts ran through her mind as she replayed what the blue eyed woman before her just said.

She couldn't recall the last time she felt so many emotions at once, her emotions were always in check but she couldn't have seen this coming in a million years. She has never faced anything that made her think twice and long about how to go about striking- this was different .. he was different- a fucking beast. Had he been just another man he would have already been six feet under.

"That's impossible." She highly respected this woman who took a chance on her all those years ago- she would never lie to her. It was walking into her grave she knew that but she didn't care- it didn't matter. Even sitting down had become a problem it felt like she was doing nothing -ever since she got the news she hasn't been able to sit down for a long period of time.

"As your boss and friend I am telling you to let it go. You and I both know he will have your head if you try and take her away." The blue eyed woman looked at the woman across her -it seemed so foreign to see a look of uncertainty in her eyes. Ever since the young woman started working for her she has never -even once seen fear or uncertainty in her eyes. She was one of the best assassins she had ever come across and she prided herself in knowing she worked for her. Her heart tugged in knowing she couldn't help her, there isn't much she couldn't do but this was out of her hands. No one would dare mess with O'Sullivan.

The brown eyed woman didn't need to be told this- she already knew but she would die trying. She has worked for the blue eyed woman for more than half of her life -they were friends therefore she understood- she understood why she couldn't help, she also understood the power she was about to fight against -it was stupid -suicide at that but all of that didn't matter because he had her. It didn't help that she had no man power she was going in alone -no one would dare fight against him. Suddenly she stood up realising how alone she was -that didn't demotivate her though -nothing could.

"I don't want to lose one of my best men."

"Odessa I would rather die than let him have her." With that she stood up ready to take her leave, her mind already made up.

"I know." The woman replied softly sadness in her voice as she watched the fiery woman walk away. Releasing a breath she didn't know she held knowing there was no changing Serenity's mind.

....

Tell me what y'all think.