Chapter 19: Clueless//Still Awake

Ben(during the picnic)

I see Jill pick up her phone and it looks like she's gotten a text from someone. None of my business so I'm just gonna throw away my sandwich wrapper. Somehow, when I go and sit down my eyes land on her phone ON ACCIDENT I'm not a creep okay. Oh, she's texting Tyler. I forgot that she gave him her number.

"Who are you texting Jill?" Her dad asks. "Oh, uhm- Dani. She's just asking what we're doing," she replies. Hmm, I understand why she's lying. I think I would do the same in that situation, or literally anyone our age. He tells her to stop and talk to us. Yeah, she definitely doesn't like to talk in front of groups. 

A few moments later, Jill nudges me and points to a guy walking on the sidewalk. "Oh, it's Tyler!" I say. Did she invite him? I get out of my seat and walk up to him. "Hey! What brings you here?" I ask. "Oh, Jill texted me that she was here and we were nearby so I had to come and say hello of course," he says. "Oh, nice," I reply. "You guys want to skate with us? We can share boards," He offers. "Hell yeah! I don't know if Jill can skate but we can still ask her. Let me ask our parents real quick," I say before running back to the table. 

I go over to our parents and tell them about it. "Okay, just be back and make sure you both have your phones," my dad says. "Got it," I reply before heading back to the group. "Okay, we can go," I say to them. It seems like they all agreed but I haven't heard Jill say anything about it. We start walking to the park and Jill runs up next to me. "Hey, I can actually go back to sit with our parents," she says. 

"Look, Jill, I know you don't like to trust ideas that require hanging out with people you've never met before. Just- here, watch this. Hey, guys come over here and hang out with us!" I exclaim to the rest of the guys. They aren't that mean just saying. Most of them are just pretty much shy. They become douche bags from time to time according to the last time I hung out with them when I visited here.

They all turn around and move towards us. I explain to them what my plan was to make her feel less lonely and awkward just watching us skate. I notice that she forces herself to be lonely. Like she knows what's going to happen without even considering it just because it's happened before. I mean it's so common that I don't even blame her at this point. What I'm saying is that I just want her not to feel left out and show her that not everyone will leave you hanging.

Once we arrive, I notice that most of the guys introduced themselves to her. Jackson, Thomas, and Lewis are the ones that were cool about her being there but Kaden and Reed didn't want to even say hi. Maybe it's because they both have girlfriends and are stingy about it. I can't judge, it's their choice. Anyways, Tyler offered to share his board with Jill and I'll share with Tommy.

I haven't skated in a while actually, I take Tommy's board and everything seems the same. Looks like I haven't forgotten anything so far. I look over at Tyler and Jill and they're laughing which is good. I'm glad she's enjoying it. "Hey, man you good? Let go of the board, it's my turn." Tommy says tugging his board from my hand. "Oh yeah sorry, here," I say handing it back to him. Tommy takes his board but then looks in the same direction as me. "Ah, I see. You're jealous because Tyler's getting touchy with her and holding her hand and stuff," he says. "What? No, I just checking if she was fine," I say. "Whatever you say then," He says walking off. Is he getting touchy with her? Oh yeah look, he's holding her waist now. Great. Come on, it's so she won't fall you dumbass. Right.

After a while of skating, I hear Jill call my name. "Look! I did it!" she says while on the board. "You did it! Good job!" I say back to her. I like it when she's happy. I turn around to return Tommy's board to him and when I look back at Jill and Tyler, Jill looks confused and Tyler looks excited. The smile on Tyler's face lowers after she says something to him. Jill starts walking towards me and I ask her what's wrong. "I-I'll tell you l-later," she says looking a little bit shaken up. What did happen? I walk towards Tyler still very confused and I ask him what happened. "Go ask her yourself, I bet she tried fucking playing with me," he says. "Well, what happened?" I say getting a bit annoyed. "I said, ask her," he says before walking away.

I'm so confused. One minute they go from laughing and hugging each other to having a civil war with each other. I walk back with Jill to our parents. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I ask breaking the silent tension. "Uhm yeah, I'm fine. And no, he didn't hurt me. I think I have a stomach ache that's all." she says. "Oh okay," I say before continuing to go silent. Once we reach our parents we just skated and had a good time.

"Yeah, uhm- Oh Jill got to learn how to skateboard," I say putting on a smile. "Uh, yeah, here I got a video of it," she says pulling out her phone.

"Okay, go!" I hear Tyler's voice say. "Woo!" I hear Jill say. I'm going to get the truth out of her sooner or later. I'm not going to force it because that's just annoying and I don't think anyone else would like that either.

•♦•

After walking around for what seemed like an eternity, we decide that going to the grocery store would be the last destination for today. God, there are so many girls in this store that keep staring at me. Some dude congratulated me for it and I just laughed a bit and said thanks even though I hated it so much. Why does it happen to the people who dislike it the most?

I'm currently standing in the frozen aisle and Jill is standing right beside me. We barely even talked on the car ride and now we're just standing looking at ice cream. I turn my head to glance and her. I turn my head back to the freezer and I take a deep breath. "Can you tell me what happened-" I stop my sentence because one I turned my head and she was gone. I sigh and return to walk back to my parents.

Jill

I'm currently standing in the frozen aisle and Ben is standing right next to me. I can feel his eyes on me for a moment and then I notice that they're focused back towards the freezer. I look up at him for just a second and sigh. I walk away from the aisle leaving him there. I don't know if that was a good thing to do, but I just did it.

10:30 pm

After the grocery store, we had dinner at home this time. We all took a shower and got ready for bed after that. I'm currently laying on on my bed and I can't seem to fall asleep at the moment. I grab my blanket and laptop while trying to get out of bed in the quietest way possible.

I walk into the living room and turn on one of the small lamps. Taking out my phone, I see the video that Tyler took of me before the thing happened. I still feel like I'm overreacting but at the same time, I didn't ask to be kissed. We met a day ago. A DAY AGO. I open my laptop and scroll through the downloaded movies I have on Netflix. Oh, look another Paul Rudd movie. You know what, I think Paul Rudd is my new celebrity crush. I click on the movie and it's called 'How Do You Know'.

Once I start the movie I hear a rustle in the kitchen. Like someone is looking through the fridge. It's dark in the kitchen so I was even more frightened. I don't make any noise and I just sit there. The dark figure comes out of the shadow and I take a sigh of relief that it was just Ben. Why was he awake?

"Jill?" Ben says. "Uhm, yeah?" I reply. "What are you doing still awake?" he asks. "Uh, what are you doing still awake?" I ask him. "I asked first," he says. "I just couldn't sleep, what about you? Why are you awake?" I reply. "I couldn't sleep either," he says.

He goes and sits next to me. I go over to my laptop and put on my earphones again. "Jill?" Ben asks. "Yes?" I say trying not to sound annoyed. "What did happen at the skatepark?" he asks me looking directly in my eyes. I sigh and pause the movie again. "Nothing," I lie. "It's not nothing, I know something happened. I even asked Tyler and he told me to ask you. I asked you and then you said you would tell me later and now it's later." he says.

"Should I tell you?" I say uncertainly. "Yes, I promise I won't judge you in any way," he says. "Pinky promise?" I ask. "Pinky promise," he replies. "Look, Tyler kissed me at the skatepark. H-he said he was going to show me a trick and he just kissed me." I say. "What?" he says with a confused look on his face. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you," I say looking down.

"What, no. I'm glad you told me this actually," he says still looking at me. "I didn't even ask him to kiss me, we just met a day ago. A DAY AGO Ben," I say to him. It felt nice to say what was going on in my mind for once. "He kissed you?" he says. "Yes, I can't believe that had to be my first kiss. I know that sound so cheesy it just sucks you know,"

"Oh my god Jill, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Like you didn't even ask for it. I think I know why he did that," he says running his hand through his hair. "Why?" I ask. "You see Jill, whenever a girl meets a guy who they think is attractive or whatever, they just want to be with them instantly. I think Tyler was thinking that way about you. I think that he thought that you wanted him." he says.

"Oh my god," I say placing my hands over my face. "How about this, to make you feel better about this being your first kiss, we shouldn't count it," Ben says. "What?" I ask confused. "Look, since you technically didn't want to kiss him, it doesn't count as a kiss to you. But to him, it does because he wanted it. Just a new rule I made," he says. "Okay, that sounds nice," I say. "Do you need anything else? We still have cookies from dinner," he says getting up from his seat. "Yeah, sure I'll take some. Oh, and uhm Ben?" "Yeah?" he says.

"Thank you, for asking me. It was nice to talk to someone about it," I say before getting up and hugging him. He wraps his arms around me and says, "Anytime,"

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A/N: Wow, I just updated a day after I updated. I had the sudden urge to add this chapter just because. I really have to do my homework but I wanted to do this instead. I'm not that proud of myself for this chapter just because I realized that I left out some things I wanted to put in here but I can't anymore because it just doesn't fit. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say for now.

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