Distracted? Lost? Too busy? Stuck?

Honestly, there's no word to describe it.

It's just a period of time when all that you can think to do is praise the Lord for His mighty doings in your life, when all you want to do is hold His hand and glorify His name forever... But you can't.

This was me.
...Or rather, this IS me.

Many have noticed my absence lately, myself included. Yes, I've been busy, but there seems to be something more impairing my worship that I can't seem to pinpoint.

God has brought me out of a battlefield victorious. He has shown me great light when all I felt was empty darkness. He has worked miracles in and even through me.

And because of that, all I want to do is sing! To shed light onto Him where it really belongs! To shout from the rooftops HOW GREAT IS MY GOD! To jump and dance with Him to the pulse of His ever beating heart! To read His holy word and share the good news with the nations surrounding me! To go outside these four walls of my home and let it sink in that the world God has placed me in, the grass beneath my feet, the sunshine warming my skin, the birds singing and their song carried with the wind... It's beautiful! To let everyone know that I CHOOSE JESUS and that life is beyond wonderful with God Almighty!!

That's all I want to do.

But I can't.

I begin to wonder if I am the only one feeling this way. I go to my Bible and am reassured that I am not alone, but that still leaves the one question I ask the most unanswered...

Why?

Maybe I have something else in my life that is hindering any further, closer walking with my Saviour? Maybe I am as close with God as He wants me to be at this point in my life? Maybe I am closer to God than Satan wants me to be, so he is trying to prevent any further growth? Maybe my feelings are not sincere... Maybe I don't actually want to praise Him as much as I think?

To be completely honest, I don't know why. I was not called to know why, what, where, when, or how. I was called to trust. Trusting in a situation like this, I admit, is incomparably hard. I feel stuck.

I don't even understand why I am writing this. As of the moment, it just seems like another pointless effort in my life. Possibly it will open your eyes, or maybe even my own in the future looking back on this. Only God knows. I am not begging for prayer or any form of attention. This is only an outreach to the others who may feel that they are in the same situation that I find myself in now. To find peace.

Peace, be still.