Last week I prayed to God that He would break me. Tear me up until I knew for certain that I was in right standing with Him. It may sound ridiculous, but somehow I could just feel that I was/would be doing something against His will and I needed to stop it.

And God was faithful to answer my prayers. 🙌

Long story short, I had one of the worst weeks of my entire life. I was stressed, relationships went out of whack, I broke down crying several times... It sucked. But today I remembered that prayer and realized God was working something in me. He was doing exactly what I requested Him to do.

Today was my church's 77th homecoming service, and the Spirit was so evident throughout it all, but I felt I was holding back. It didn't take me long to realize that this was all because of some grudges that I'd been holding with my band director and drum major. I would honestly say that those grudges were formed for very valid reasons, but Jesus didn't hold grudges. There is no excuse for a holding grudge.

Grudges.

Heckin' grudges.

It is so crazy to think that something we see as so small can consume our entire lives for as long as we let them. But today I put it all in God's hands where it belongs. I told him, you take it. And I instantly felt so much lighter and greater and more powerful in the Spirit. It was so nice to finally let go.

I will be together with my band director and drum major again tomorrow, so the force of temptation will be strong, but I believe the Lord will take care of this.

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I told you this because I want you to try the same if you feel the sincere need to.

Ask God to break you, to make you absolutely miserable until you have no choice but to change your ways, to purely live for Him and live purely in Him. Whether it be a grudge, an addiction, or something else, ask Him to bust you to pieces until you give it all to Him. It is the most wonderful thing you can do.

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Stay cool, kids! Mama loves you! 😘

•BPL