(#162 in Spiritual!!! SO HAPPY!)

Oh boy, here we go!!!

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As teenagers, we all are most likely wishing there was an entire book of the Bible dedicated to the topic of dating, or even just one chapter. Though the Scriptures are filled with many foundations and guides, dating is one of the few topics left untouched. Why? Well, the concept of dating didn't exist in biblical times. Even today in the cultures of the Middle East, dating is a relatively new concept.

Though nothing specific to dating is mentioned in the Bible, there's a lot of valuable things said about marriage, and as good people, marriage is our ultimate goal in a relationship. So we need to take everything the Bible tells us and apply it to our hearts and our lives.

Let's take a look at a few verses:

"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." -Song of Solomon 2:7

"Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way." -Proverbs 19:2

A lot of people (not just girls) feel the need to be dating someone at all times. I'm not sure if they just want it for the attention, if they need the love of a companion to make up for the lack of it at home, to keep a good reputation with their peers... Whatever the case may be, the Bible tells us clearly to not rush love, don't force it to happen. Don't just date a person because they're "hot". Give it time, learn more about the person. You need to test the water before you jump in.

Most people that claim to be in love say that they just felt a connection when they say their crush.
But not every connection is good. Some will say they they "fell in love and couldn't get away". I've said this too, but honestly I didn't fall in love. Every step that I've taken from the beginning of my relationship to now has been a choice that I made. I didn't simply fall in love.

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." -1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Be honest with yourself. When in a good relationship, you want to spend all of the time in the world with them, to make them feel good, and at times you forget to bring your moral compass with you on the journey, resulting in worldly, sinful actions. "Secure your undivided devotion to the Lord!" Yes, your relationship should be very important and should have priority over SOME things, but that does not include God. God should come first in everything we do, so before you send your date that inappropriate picture, before you take time out of reading your Bible to text them, before you cheat, before you do anything, ask yourself, "Is this pleasing God? Would I do this if Jesus was standing right next to me?"

But don't just do that alone. Make sure you're not the only one pushing. Dating (and eventually marriage) is a two way street, both sides need to be moving forward together and with Christ. Keep each other in check.

Don't compromise your Christianity for your relationship. If your boyfriend wants to go out on a date instead of go to church, tell that sucker bye bye! (Or help him out first... That's probably nicer.)

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"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
-Proverbs 4:23

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One of the most important things you can do is talk with God about it. If you have a crush on a boy and you think he might be good for you, don't ever start a relationship without God saying it's alright. If you're not sure what God is trying to say to you, look for little signs.

Just yesterday, my boyfriend texted me that he had found the video of his baptism and he also sent me the date of that day. The moment I read the texts I was 99.99% sure that was the same exact day that I was baptized. I ran to my mom and we searched and finally found my baptismal certificate and sure enough, we were both baptized on the same day, same month, same year. Everything. (CRAZY, I KNOW! We didn't even know each other then! We lived in two completely different states even!) I then texted my boyfriend saying, I think God is saying something here. He replied, oh he's been saying stuff for a while.

And that's so true! Every time that I felt something was slowly fading between us, I would pray and ask God for a sign and something to keep us strong, and the next day something would happen and I knew it was going to be okay. And so far it has!

Guys, all I really want to say is PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD! He will give you everything you need in a relationship.

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. Some people in certain religions believe that it is a sin to kiss before marriage. What do you think?
2. Do you think it is bad when someone asks you out/breaks up with you through text message?
3. Do you think the guy should be the one to ask the girl out, or can it be done the other way around?
4. What is a good age to start dating?

•I don't think kissing before marriage is bad, but anything beyond that (especially sex) is basically waving a big red flag to me.
•Asking someone out through text... Yeah, it's kind of bad when you think about it, but you can't really control when you get the opportunity to ask them and some people have a hard time talking to people in person. I'm one of those people myself! I asked my boyfriend out through text and we're perfectly fine, so I don't see the problem with it. Especially when breaking up with a person, I'd have an extremely difficult time doing that. I mean put yourself in those shoes, would you want to end a relationship IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE?
•When it comes to just dating I do not think it matters who asks who out because dating is only our way of finding out who we are compatible with and who is right for us. But for MARRIAGE... yes I believe the man should always ask the woman to marry him. This is showing the leadership role that the man is in the marriage/family and also represents how the woman is under the man and his protection, though they are still EQUAL! Your Bible will explain more on that though...
•Whenever God tells you when to.

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Well, I hope that I helped you guys through this, or at least opened your eyes to another perspective.

I literally am stuck in between two of my best friends and their teenage love drama right now, so I've actually learned a lot for this! Isn't it cool how God's timing works? He is so good to me!

Thanks for reading!
Have a beautifully blessed day! :)

•BPL