1011

People typically say that time flies when you're having fun. But I thoroughly believe that it also flies by quickly when you're focused and dedicated to doing something. I would use my experience in physical training for the Intel Intitiative in order to prove this. After we had been doing our "creativity" exercise on the computers, we ended up working out for several days in a row.

We had been through strength training, cardio, flexibility, and anything else that could possibly aid us if we were to break into an enemy base. Of course, we needed every last bit of help we could get in order to succeed in our mission. But Alex became strict when it came to into all of this - many people were learning to hate him specifically because he was pushing us so hard.

Ronnie would end up complaining to me about it every night when we went to our room, and apparently she had heard from Deric and Zeke how much they disliked it as well. I could see where they were coming from, as I was doing the exact same thing as the rest of them. There was no room for us to stop and relax. No, we could not forget what our final goal was - a missed moment could end up hurting us at the end of the day.

Alex pushed us to our limits and then forced us to continue going with all of that pain coursing through our system. I wasn't sure I liked him as much when he did things like that, but I found that when he smiled all of the suffering began to drift away. Of course, I couldn't always see him smiling over us as I working out, but I tried to imagine that image in my head whenever I felt myself slipping.

My body was struggling to get used to everything I had to do, so I tried to seperate my mind from it in order to detatch myself from anything that could prevent me from doing what was needed to be done. Unfortunately, this had never worked out all that well for me in the past. I was planning to use it once again now that we were heading back into the gym.

Today we were working on speed again - I knew I was speedy at typing, but I never made myself out to be speedy when it came to exercise. My several days spent in training were enough to show this was a major issue of my own. It was just a matter of me working this all out - but it sounded far easier in theory than it was in practice.

Today we were on the elliptical machines. Typically, you would use them at your own pace. But Alex refused to let us do such a thing. No, he insisted that we get to a certain target rate, one that I have erased from my memory due to how much pain it caused me. If he noticed any of us slowing down, he would immediately come over and force us to continue.

When I had entered the Intel Intitiative to begin with, I never had thought I would end up in a gym, working out as if my life depended on it. I'm sure none of the others along with me had thought such a thing either. I wanted to look around and see how Zeke was doing, how fast Deric was running, if Ronnie was as drenched in sweat as I was.

But no - I couldn't do such a thing. It was imperative that I continued to run onwards and work on my speed. I needed focus, and focus meant that my eyes needed to be fixed on the glowing number that told me precisely how fast I was running along.

Several times, I find my eyes starting to squeeze shut in order to blink away the sweat that had dripped from my forehead. Whenever this happened, I found my speed getting slower as I was distracted. I supposed this was what Alex always spoke about when he said that every moment mattered.

But at the moment I was having difficulty seeing precisely how this was going to end up helping me when it came to retrieving data that had already been deleted. I found myself longing for the days where I was a data eater - I still was, but it didn't feel like that any more.

With sweat dripping down from my forehead and my heart fluttering as if it were a hummingbird, I allowed myself to take a breather. Yes, certainly I was getting speedier. The number sitting on the display proved that much at least. But it wasn't until moments like these when I realized just how out of shape I really was.

Nevertheless, I knew that I couldn't let myself stop and relax for all that much longer. I tried to close my eyes and allow the air to go in and out of my mouth, but I couldn't get myself to a point where I felt better. No, I was already past the point of doing such a thing.

Right as I started to get back on the machine, I heard the sound of Alex's laugh behind me. Oh, he'd been watching me. He'd been paying attention to see exactly when I was going to start exercising again so that he could make me stop in that last sentence.

"That's all for today," Alex said. As we turned around to face him, he ended up letting out somewhat of a laugh again.  He was amused by how much we were sweating - and believe me, we were all sweating. Even Deric, who I would've pinned down as being an athlete, looked as if he had been standing out in the rain.

Ronnie connected gazes with me, and moments later I found her grabbing my arm and starting to drag me along. She was beyond done with the working out - she wasn't even willing to flirt before going to rest. Although that they have been due to the fact she was sweating profusely and looked rather disgusting. But I wasn't about to mention that to her.

Instead, I let her drag me along and didn't offer up any sort of protest. I wanted to rest every bit as much as she did, even though she might not have realized it.

"That was hell," Ronnie said. "That was actually hell. I mean, I know it's necessary, but it's hell."

I felt too exhausted to give her any sort of decent reply. After she let out that short rant, she became very quiet. The sudden silence within the room ended up causing me to feel more tired than anything else. The only thing I wanted to do was to to take a nap and just let everything go.

Sitting on top of my bed, I tried to lay down and allow my heart rate to reduce down to a normal level. I felt that I'd end up making a small puddle on my pillow as I laid back down, but I ignored the wetness on the back of my scalp and attempted to relax.

My eyelids fluttered shut, and I could gradually feel myself beginning to drift to sleep. I knew I still had a long ways to go before I'd end up taking a real nap, but I decided to ignore that fact and continue with what I was currently doing. Nothing was stopping me. No one was stopping me, for that matter. Even Ronnie seemed to be playing along with it.

I decided there, in that moment, that I would just allow myself to release all of my tension and let myself sleep. Extra sleep certainly couldn't be harmful for me, or at least I didn't think that was a potential issue that would come up.

The smell of smoke began to overload my senses, causing my eyes to pop open.  When I looked over towards Ronnie, I found that she was holding a cigarette in her hand. It was certainly lit, and she was certainly smoking it. But the most frightening part of it all was the fact that she clearly had done it all before.

"Truitt!" I cried out. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asked, giving her signature eye roll in my direction without even looking at me.

"You know that's against the Reforms," I said.

"You're going to lecture me on the Reforms, then?" she asked. Immediately, my heart panged a little. She was making fun of me because of the Reforms, once again. But I spoke the truth - it was against federal law for anyone under the age of eighteen to smoke. She could get into serious trouble if Alex ended up noticing the smoke and questioned her on it.

"No, I just think you shouldn't be doing this," I pressed. "It's not going to turn out well for any of us. I promise you that."

"Doesn't sound like you're going to do anything to stop me, then, other than give me a talking to."

"Ronnie, please," I said.

"Listen," she said. "Training was tough. You know it was. I'm just trying to give myself a way to relax. I almost never smoke, I swear. It's just a sometimes thing."

"A sometimes thing that could easily get you addicted!" I said, throwing my arms up into the air.

"Okay, Parr. You go on your little glass phone and check to see what Ianto's sent you today, and I'll put out the cigarette, and we can put this all behind us for now."

"Fine," I grumbled. What I neglected to tell her was the fact Ianto hadn't sent me anything in the past several days. Frankly, she did not need to know about all of that. She might be my best friend, but some things were just too personal for me to fully explain. "I'll hold up my end of the bargain as long as you hold up yours," I said.

The room became quiet once again, and it took every last ounce of my willpower in order to avoid tears leaping to my eyes. I was getting so worked up over what should've been nothing, but I couldn't help it. Apparently, Ronnie noticed the fact that I was having difficult keeping myself calm as she spoke up again. I could hear her shifting around, starting to come towards me.

"Psi. Something's wrong. Tell me, now."

"None of your business, Tau."

"Will I have to figure it out just by looking at you, then? That's what I'll do."

I stood there, looking down at the screen. Surely if our eyes met, she'd be able to tell precisely what was going on. I didn't want to just let it go as easily as that. However close I was to Ronnie, I didn't think she'd be able to support me the way I'd want. From what I knew, she wasn't capable of being sympathetic.

But the next thing I knew, Ronnie plucked the glass phone out of my hand and placed a few fingers under my chin in order to lift my head up. She looked into my eyes for a few seconds, gazing over them as if they were an article she needed to read. After that, she promptly walked away and stood over by her own bed.

"It's got something to do with the messages, obviously," Ronnie said. "Which means it has something to do with Ianto. I'm guessing this has something to do with his fear of things getting deleted - but it's kind of interesting to think of it that way, because he's working on retrieving information to begin with. Did the little Parr have a panic attack or something?"

"Don't...don't call him that," I said, only half listening to what she was saying.

"Fine. Did Ianto have a panic attack?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know, Truitt."

"How could you not know? He's been sending you a 'highly detailed' message every single day, Parr!"

I waited for Ronnie to understand the meaning behind her words, positive that she was thoroughly intelligent enough to figure it out. Soon I saw a shadow of understanding pass over her face. She was certainly feeling sympathetic for me, that much was for sure.

"He didn't message you today, did he?" she asked, although her inflection made it sound more like a statement.

"No," I said. "He didn't message me yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that one either..."

"Hm," Ronnie said. "Doesn't sound like him."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about," I groaned. "It's just not something Ianto would do, not the Ianto that I've known for thirteen years - unless something has suddenly changed, it just wouldn't make sense."

"That would mean he'd have to have a complete personality flop in a single day," Ronnie said. "Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary in his messages, right?"

"Nothing aside from the fact he was being open with me about...certain things," I replied, deciding to keep the integrity of Ianto's secret. Frankly, Ronnie didn't need to know, so I wouldn't be telling her any of it.

Ronnie looked down at her nails as she responded, "Well, then maybe there's something wrong with how the message is being sent. It could end up getting lost, or never getting sent to begin with."

"Maybe," I said, biting my lip. Of course it could easily be such a thing as that. Maybe I was just getting far ahead of myself. Or maybe I was entirely right about something being horribly wrong, and I needed to make sure I did something in order to prevent things from getting worse.

In that moment, I decided what I was going to do. I didn't think of it as a choice - it was something I had to do. It was entirely necessary, no matter what anyone else might think of it. As Ianto's older sister, I needed to do something as soon as I could.

"I'm going to go back there," I stated, looking straight ahead of myself. "I'm heading back to the central base, and I'm going to find out exactly what happened."

"Are you kidding me, Psi?" Ronnie said, her laugh sounding more like a barking cough. "You're just going to leave in the middle of training?"

"Yes, I am," I replied. "I don't want to wait to find what's happened. For all we know, they might've been found out and been attacked. Ianto might be kidnapped, or dead, or being tortured-"

"Have you been watching too many action movies lately?" Ronnie asked.

"No, no, no," I said, finding my mind starting to spin out of control as I tried to figure everything out properly. "No, I just think there might be something wrong. Really wrong. I just think it's strange that Ianto just dropped out of nowhere."

"Psi, I know you overreact to things sometimes, and this is one of these moments," Ronnie said.

"I'm not overreacting!" I said - or at least, I tried to say. Instead, I ended up screaming it out at her. The room ended up dissolving into silence for a few moments. I had messed everything up, of course. But I just couldn't help myself.

"It's the moments like these that make me want to smoke," Ronnie sighed, breaking the silence.

"Don't," I said, unable to rustle up the strength in order to say much of anything more. "Please, don't. Not right now."

Perhaps I hadn't been watching closely enough, but it seemed like a shimmer of sympathy passed over her face. There was a subtle gleam in her eyes that meant she cared about what was happening to me. I nearly dismissed it immediately, thinking that it was just some attempt of my mind trying to think she was sympathezing.

"You know, you remind me of my father," she said.

"Which one?" I asked, finding myself unable to smile.

"Doesn't matter," she replied. "But you're begging me not to smoke, first of all - and then there's the Reforms."

"That doesn't make me like them, Tau," I scoffed.

"I wasn't done yet, Psi," she said. I halfway expected to find a blur of green rushing across the room and slamming into my face. It wouldn't be the first time she'd thrown a pillow at me. But I found myself blissfully without any sort of attack.

"Then tell me - what makes me like them?"

"You care so much," she said. "Almost too much, really. But you'd do everything and more for your family. You don't always let it show, but it's always there. I mean, really. You're about to pick up everything and leave just to cart yourself over to the central base."

"Don't make it out like I'm going to be disappearing for an age," I said. "I mean, it's not that far away...and if all goes well, I'll be back within several days."

"You don't think it's going to turn out well."

"I don't know what to think. Ianto hasn't sent me a message, remember?"

I could've sworn I heard her murmur my name - my first name. But I didn't look over to see her lips forming the word "Alia," so I'll never know if it was actually spoken or just a moment of my imagination running wild.

"Just try to get back soon," Ronnie said. "I don't think that Alex will be happy if you head off out of nowhere. You're in the middle of training."

"Training doesn't matter right now," I pressed. "All that matters is Ianto, and making sure that he's okay."

"All that matters is if you're okay," Ronnie said. At this, I raised my eyebrows and tried to meet her gaze. But by the point I could open my mouth to speak to her, I found she had already walked out the door for whatever reason.

A/N Oh, yes. Oh yes, this is where things are going to get really interesting. And I probably shouldn't be saying that, but it's not like I've spoiled anything. So yeah. Tell me what you think, if you please!