I decided to see for myself if these disturbing thoughts were even close to being true. So, I went to my computer and started researching the symptoms of bulimia which was the disorder that Dr. Mary had told me I had. When the list finally came up I stared at the screen in horror and checked another website and another and another! But they were all the same. It was true..... No, it couldn't be! [gif] But it said so right there. All the symptoms. I had all of them! But why? What had I done to deserve all of this? Why was this happening to me?

I can't believe it! I actually have an eating disorder. I'm actually sick. These thoughts just kept repeating itself in my mind until I completely burst into tears. And not just quiet sobbing that too, I was full on wailing and screaming.

I must have fallen asleep at some point during my complete breakdown, because the next morning I found myself asleep with my face stuck to my pillow feeling sticky from all the crying. After I had washed my face and made myself barely decent looking, I went downstairs to talk to my parents.

"Good morning!" I wished both my parents who were sitting at the dining table.

"Uh good morning sweetheart," my dad said looking shocked.

"Oh good morning darling! I'm so glad that you are talking to us!" my mom said to me, almost in tears.

"Yeah well, I realized that all of you were right! I am sick. I do have an eating disorder. I just wish I had realized if sooner," I told them honestly.

"Oh honey, what happened? Something must have happened to make you realize it," my mom asked me, making me tell them everything that had happened from the disaster with Sierra to the even bigger disaster that was my realization.

My dad decided to immediately call the therapist that Dr. Mary suggested and went into the other room to make the call. I think her name was Dr. Stephanie but I'm not really sure.

So after a few minutes, I went into the next room to find out what time I should be ready for the appointment and I overheard my dad finishing up the call. "....yeah her finals are next week and then she has a break for two months..... Yeah and a change of scenery? Okay..... Fine I'll look into it."

As soon as my dad hung up the phone, I walked into the room and asked him about the time of the appointment, despite the fact that all I could think about was what he had said in the end. What did he mean by a 'change of scenery'?

Anyway, so apparently they booked an appointment for me at 4:00 pm today. My dad had to repeat it since I kind of zoned out while he was talking...

So, the rest of the day was spent doing absolutely nothing unexpected. My mom tried to make me eat properly but I couldn't eat much. Still it was more than my usual meal which consisted of a single fruit or less. I also almost threw up what little food I ate but thankfully my mom came into the room just in time and managed to stop me. I'm glad I didn't throw up, but it just felt so automatic! As if that was what I was supposed to do as a daily routine. But now I see that it's wrong, however, that doesn't make it any easier to stop unfortunately.

Finally, it became time for my appointment and we were currently waiting for the therapist to finish up with one of her patients, and to say I was nervous would be a major understatement. I mean, I have no idea what this lady is going to say to me or even ask me. And I'm not good at talking to strangers but hopefully considering the situation I will be able too.

A few minutes later, a middle aged lady walked out of the therapist's office with her eye makeup smudged so you could see that she had been crying. I immediately felt a little scared. Was it this Dr. Stephanie who had made her cry or was it just her pouring out her sorrows that did so. For my sake I hope it's the latter.

When I walked into the room, I immediately saw a lady in her early 30s sitting on a chair in a sort of living room area. The room consisted of plain white walls, a desk at the back of the room, a single plain wooden chair which the lady was occupying, a bean bag and a comfy looking sofa. The lady introduced herself as Dr. Stephanie, the therapist. Actually, now she was my therapist. She had a pixie cut hairstyle and pretty brown eyes. She looked quite pretty for her age in fact. But all I wanted to know was if she was nice. She seemed nice enough I guess, and had a face that looked like she would be kind. But you never know, they do say don't judge a book by it's a cover for a reason, don't they?

But thankfully, for once, that saying did not apply here. Dr. Stephanie was really nice. She first greeted me warmly and told me to take a seat. I immediately walked straight to the comfy looking couch and sat down. Then she asked me some small talk questions like how old was I? What school I went too? And all that stuff. I was glad for that actually because I didn't want to immediately leap into my problems with a total stranger.

After a few of those meaningless yet appreciated questions, she asked me to tell her exactly what happened from the very beginning to the very end. And surprisingly enough....I did! I told her everything with complete and utter detail. She was now updated from my first fight with Sierra till my most recent realization.

_________________________________________

[A/N]

Hey guys!

I just wanted to tell you that the gif in this chapter is not exactly like the scene. So just imagine a computer in front of her instead of the person okay?!

And also I want to give a shout out to an amazing writer here on wattpad called aestheticals! She's really good! And you should check out her new book 'Nerds.' I think you will all really enjoy it!❤

So that's it, I guess! So you can get back to reading now! I'll see you later, all you beautiful people!

-athena