I'm back with another chapterc so enjoy my lovelies!

"Holy shit, you mean she passed out in mid air?"

Eren nodded grimly as Reiner stared at him in disbelief, turning his gaze on the rest of the group behind him for confirmation.

"You're kidding. I mean, this is Mikasa we're talking about. I always figured the most likely to bust their ass out there would be Connie,"

"Hey!"

"No offense,"

Eren pressed his lips together, forming a stern line as he bent down and shoveled a soiled pile of hay into the wheel barrow besides him. He, Reiner, Connie and Armin were all on stable duty that evening before dinner- not the most pleasant thing to do prior to eating, admittedly, but even after the chaos and premature termination of the mission, the higher-ups were insistent on them carrying on with their regular duties. The moment they had returned to HQ; Mikasa just about coming to from the back of Eren's horse where she was strapped in place, she had been whisked off by several medical attendants who had been contacted prior to their arrival, and they hadn't seen her since. Three hours had passed since their untimely homecoming. In all that time, no one had come to find them, and she hadn't returned. It was worrying, to say the least.

"So..." Reiner paused, leaning against one of the horse's stall, using the pitchfork in his grasp as a support. "What exactly happened?"

"Well she looked...off from the moment we started the mission," Armin replied tentatively from where he was sweeping the floor towards the back on the stable. His gaze didn't lift from the ground as he spoke, his eyes unfocused, not really concentrating on what he was doing. "She insisted she was fine, but it was pretty clear by the time we were riding outside the wall something was wrong."

"And when she was fighting," Connie chipped in. "You should have seen her! I've never seen Mikasa look so shaken before. I have no idea how she managed to take down that first titan by herself in the state she was in. She might've been alright if it weren't for the fifteen metre that decided to show up. She passed out whilst fighting that."

"Hey, Eren." Reiner called, turning his head towards his comrade. "You shared a horse with her on the way back, right? What was her deal then?"

"She was out of it for pretty much the whole ride back, actually, so I don't know." Eren said solemnly, resting his shovel against the wall of the stable. "She was so clammy though, and deathly cold to touch. She's not well. I don't know what the hell made her think she was fit to come on the mission."

"You know Mikasa," Armin spoke softly once more. "She won't admit her weaknesses. Admittedly, she has very few, but she probably didn't like the idea of you going outside the wall without her, Eren. She wanted to protect you."

The memories of Mikasa's pale, shaken face, drawn by pain from that afternoon capered into Eren's mind. "How can I protect you...if I can't fight?"

"Yeah, well, I don't need protecting!" he snapped, storming across the stables and grabbing a fresh bale of hay from a stack near the door. "Maybe she should stop worrying about me half the time and be more concerned about herself! This is the second time she's gotten hurt because of me- she needs to quit acting like she's my mother, get some damn perspective and start thinking about herself!"

"Woah, man, there's no need to lash out like that."

"...sorry." he lugged the hay bale towards the nearest stall and silently began shredding it apart handful by handful, tossing it into the horse's pen. Mikasa was weighing on his mind more than he wanted to admit. He couldn't help it- she'd tried to protect him twice, and twice she'd ended up in the infirmary. If that wasn't a proverbial kick to the masculinity then he didn't know what was. Regardless, his main concern was her current status- last time, she'd had physical, easily identifiable injuries. Now? They had no idea what came over her...or whether she was going to be alright. His heart constricted painfully in his chest. For someone who was supposed to be her closet boyfriend, he felt so helpless in this situation. He couldn't save her in the field. He couldn't stop her. All he could do was narrowly save her from an injury far worse than last time. He shuddered to think what could have happened if he hadn't gotten to her in that split second.

"OK, so she blacked out midair, then what?" Reiner turned back to the group. "Did she hit the ground? If so, impressive she didn't return in pieces."

"No, no, nothing like that." Armin waved him down. "Eren managed to catch her in time and get her safely on the ground. If he hadn't been so quick it would have been so much worse, believe me."

"So...what do you think it was?"

Connie's question rang out in the dead silence of the stable, rolling off the walls and fouling the air like an unwelcome visitor. An uncomfortable silence filled the room for a few moments before anyone spoke.

"I don't know. Sounds pretty shitty to me, whatever it was," Reiner shrugged, shouldering his pitchfork and crossing the stable to hang it back up on the wall, where it belonged.

"Maybe a fever of some kind?" Armin said thoughtfully. He paused in sweeping as one of the horses nuzzled into his head, braying softly as he patted its nose absent-mindedly.

"Whatever it is, I just hope it's a one-time thing. Mikasa doesn't deserve it," Eren mumbled.

He finished with the hay bale and was just about to fetch another one when he looked up and flinched to see all three of his comrades staring at him silently. He frowned. "What?"

"Nothing...it's nothing," Armin reassured him, quickly turning back to his broom, pushing the horse's muzzle away and ignoring Eren.

"It's just...you seem concerned?" Connie said, his voice going up at the end of his statement like a question. He looked to Reiner, seeking clarification, who nodded and gave Eren a lopsided grin.

"Yeah. The Eren we know would probably be more concerned about her inability to fight in her current condition. Probably say something more like 'as long as she can kill titans she's fine'. But 'Mikasa doesn't deserve it'? That's new. What's that about?" Reiner raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Fucking hell, do you all think of me as some titan-obsessed freak?"

"No,"

"Yes," Connie and Reiner chorused.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Fuck you. Mikasa nearly got herself killed today. Isn't that enough to worry anyone?"

"Fair enough, he's not wrong." Connie shrugged, bolting the final stable door shut, just as a bell tolled from outside, ringing three times in the cool evening air, signifying the end of the working day. His expression brightened; "Just in time for dinner!"

"Alright, let's go." Reiner made his way to entrance of the stable, clapping Eren on the shoulder as he passed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had the hots for her. But I suppose there's no room in a heart full of titans, eh?"

"Oh screw off!"

Laughing, both he and Connie left, as Armin walked over to where his friend was standing, leaning against the stable door. He stared at the floor, not really seeing, and appeared to be deep in thought.

"Hey," Armin said softly, placing his hand on Eren's shoulder. "You alright?"

"No," Eren declared harshly. He bit his lip, looking up at Armin with big, anxious eyes. "No, I'm not alright. It's been killing me wondering all afternoon what the hell's wrong with her. And why couldn't I stop her? Why couldn't I protect her?"

Armin stayed quiet for a few seconds before he spoke.

"Eren, it's not your fault. She's not going to blame you for it."

"Yeah, and she never will! Armin, she could have been killed. She could have been killed and I'm supposed to just sit back and act like that's no big deal? I'm supposed to be her goddamn b-"

He stopped abruptly, but the unspoken word, despite having not left his lips lingered in the air unpleasantly. He hurriedly looked to see if anyone was outside, then hunched over as if physically trying to conceal their secret, falling silent once more.

"I know...I know how you feel about Mikasa, and I know what's going on between you," Armin began slowly. "But she's here, she's alive, she made it through the mission. You know her. Mikasa's strong. She'll pull through anything. What happened today was a one time thing. It wasn't a minor slip up, because yes, if things had gone wrong it would've ended pretty horrifically. But," he added hurriedly when Eren's head shot up, looking agonized. "the important thing is you managed to bring her back. She's fine. Hanji's team will have taken good care of her. I'll daresay she'll be back in training by tomorrow- and if she isn't, I'll personally ask if we can get special permission so you can go see her."

Eren looked up at Armin through his fringe. "You can do that?" he asked quietly.

He straightened up proudly. "I'll have you know they commanding officers think of me pretty highly," Armin grinned in a reassuring manner. "I'm sure they'll grant me this one favour."

Eren gave him a weak, watery smile in return, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his sleeve before he stood up properly. "Thanks, Armin. You're a good friend."

"I try my best. Let's go grab some food and call it an early night, then we can get up as soon as possible to go see her before breakfast."

"Sure,"

Together, they left the stable, only pausing to lock the door and hang the key outside, washing their hands in the bucket outside. They departed to the bunk house in a companionable silence, going to change into their casual clothes for dinner in the barracks. It was nearing half six by the time they left the dorm and crossed over to the mess hall, already aglow, but not buzzing with life as per usual. The hum of chatter wasn't audible until they reached the door, and as they pushed it open and stepped inside to locate a table, they both recoiled in shock.

"Mikasa!"

She was sat at one of the tables in the far corner with Sasha and Bertolt, and was just being joined by Connie and Reiner bearing trays of food, who were talking avidly to her. They watched as she buttered a roll of bread and said something indistinguishable in her familiar monotonous tone.

Before he could stop him, Eren darted away from Armin's side, weaving his way past the tables until he reached them and breathlessly called out once more.

"Mikasa! What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded.

Mikasa looked up, as if surprised to see him, half a roll of bread in her mouth. She quickly swallowed, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. "What do you mean?"

"You- you were so ill- and unconscious...I thought they'd at least keep you in the infirmary overnight for observation or something," he said, sliding into the seat on the bench across from her.

"I thought so too," she admitted, still chewing before she spoke. "But they ran a couple of tests and couldn't find anything wrong."

"...nothing?"

"Nothing," she repeated. "No fever, no sickness, no nothing. It was just a spell of dizziness. I told you I was fine."

"Mikasa," Eren's voice shook, half with amusement at her calm demeanour following such a severe accident, half with annoyance at her inability to take the incident and its potential consequences into account. "We were all there to see you when you fell. You were not 'fine'."

Mikasa's shoulders rose in indifference as she broke the bread in half. "Regardless, as far as Hanji's medical team could find I'm perfectly fit to return to training."

"That's the 104th's Wonder Girl for you," Sasha declared from the other end of the table. "She possesses magical healing powers none of us can fathom!"

"Ha! Like your magical never-ending appetite no human can understand," Connie remarked derisively, a grin playing on his lips.

"Shut up, you two," Reiner rolled his eyes and turned to Mikasa and Eren to his left. "Kids," he snorted. "Seriously, Mikasa, your team mates from this afternoon were telling me about what happened, and they're right, it really doesn't sound like 'nothing' as you put it. Was there anything that they mentioned? Anything at all?"

"Well..." Mikasa visibly hesitated, the last crumb of bread she held between her thumb and index finger halting on its journey up to her mouth. "They did say something about my blood pressure being a little low. Which is probably why I got so lightheaded. But it was just a case of wrong time, wrong place,"

Armin appeared at Eren's side, holding a tray with two plates on it.

"Here," he said, taking one off the tray and sliding it in front of Eren. "I figured you weren't about to move, so I got you something before it all went."

"Thanks," Eren said gratefully, shifting along the bench so Armin could sit down.

"So I take it you're feeling better, Mikasa?"

"Much," she said simply, reaching out for the basket of bread in the middle of the table and taking a second one, splitting it open and wiping it around the edge of her dish to mop up the remnants of the meat's broth.

"Apparently it was a case of low blood pressure," Eren added by means of explanation.

"Apparently," Mikasa emphasised. "I'm feeling a lot better now, so it's probably nothing. You don't have to worry."

Armin shared a tentative glance with those around him until his gaze finally fell on Eren who looked to be quietly steaming. "Um...like it or not, Mikasa, I think Eren's going to worry regardless."

"Of course I am. You could've died."

An abrupt quiet fell across the table like an enormous weight being dropped. Eren's words seemed to resonate within all its occupants and they all stopped short for a few nerve wracking moments.

Mikasa eventually spoke.

"Eren...you don't have to worry about me." she said quietly, her mouth half muffled by her scarf as she tucked her chin to her chest.

"I couldn't help it. Mikasa, I watched you nearly fall to your death. Tell me if this was the other way round you wouldn't feel exactly the same."

"But I'm expendable. You're humanity's last ho-"

"Don't give me that crap," he said more sharply than he intended. His spoon clattered to the rim of the plate as he reached out and touched the back of her hand from across the table, his tone softening. "Don't devalue yourself like that. Yes, there might only be one of me, but there's only one of you too. I care about you, Mikasa. I couldn't bear thinking of what I would do if something happened to you..." with this he broke off, biting his lip.

"Aww," Sasha cooed after a short pause. "They're so cute. I could totally see them as a couple."

"What?!" Eren and Mikasa both jerked instinctively, colour flashing to their faces as Eren snatched his hand away from hers and she shoved the bread in her mouth by means of making herself look busy. For a moment, they had totally forgotten they were in complete ear shot of other people.

"A couple? Uh, Sasha, don't be gross. You know they're practically siblings," Connie shook his head in disdain. "That's so weird to think about, urgh,"

Hearts thudding, Eren and Mikasa snuck a glance at each other, the same thought evidently readable on their ruby-hued faces. Practically siblings? Gross...?

Oh, if only they knew what these "practical siblings" had done together...

"Eren, you're not eating," Armin said pointedly. He gestured at the untouched bowl of boiled beef chunks in a broth of leeks, onions, and potatoes set in front of Eren, his spoon hovering several inches above any actual sustenance.

In an instant, Mikasa's mother hen complex made an appearance.

"Eren, you have to eat."

"I know, I'm just not particularly hungry,"

"Eren..."

"Mikasa, I'll get something later! Chill out!"

"Come here," she leaned over and checked the contents of his bowl, the corners of her mouth upturned in amusement. "You never liked leeks, did you? Honestly, you're like a little kid." She reached over with her spoon and fished the majority of the leeks out, depositing them into her own dish, chiding him like a mother. "Now eat your meat."

Eren eyed her suspiciously as she scooped up what was left of his broth and ate it in two quick scoops.

"No really, I don't want it. You can have it if you want it." he pushed the dish towards her.

"Eren..." she began in a warning tone.

"Mikasa, I'm not going to die from missing one meal. If you're that hungry, you have it. You need to get your strength back completely before I'm convinced you're fine enough to partake in training again like you say."

Mikasa regarded him warily for a few seconds, debating whether to slam his face into the bowl until he agreed to take advantage of good food when it was available to him (living through the famine after the fall of Wall Maria does this sort of thing to a person), or take him up on his offer, before she cautiously took the bowl from him.

"I'll have half," She said, beginning to scrape.

"Have it all, I don't care."

"Three quarters."

"Mikasa, you can have all of it."

With one last suspicious glance, she dumped the rest of the meat broth into her bowl and began eating once more, the enthusiasm of her spoon rivaling even that of Sasha's on a good day.

Both Eren and Armin watched, perplexed at her sudden appetite when an unexpected voice spoke up.

"You're eating a lot tonight, Mikasa,"

It was Bertolt who had spoken, the gentle giant who had remained almost completely silent for the rest of the meal.

Mikasa stopped abruptly, first looking at him in mild astonishment; then allowing her gaze to slowly travel down to her refilled bowl. She blinked a few times as if she were confused as to what she was doing, laying the the spoon down softly by the side of the dish.

"Don't be an ass, Bert," Reiner hit his arm from across the table, earning a resounding "ow!" in response. "The girl's just been in a life or death situation, she can eat as much as she wants."

"Right...sorry, that was out of place." Bertolt looked up, rubbing his arm where Reiner had hit him, a shy, uncertain gratified smile playing on his face.

"It's fine." Mikasa said quietly, but she didn't pick up her spoon again.

"Now you've done it," Reiner groaned. He stretched, unhooking his big frame from the bench as he stood up. "Come on, you idiot. Let's leave before you say anything more stupid,"

"Mikasa, I wasn't trying to offend you or anything- I'm sorry, you can eat as much as you want..."

"Bertolt, honestly, it's fine." Mikasa turned to regard him with a gracious expression, her face calm and her lips upturned in reassurance. But her eyes were cold. "Have a nice night."

Bertolt knew when he was dismissed, and hurriedly, both he and Reiner left the mess hall after one last garbled apology.

"He's not wrong," Sasha observed when they'd gone. She lifted her bowl to her lips and slurped up the remaining juices it held, her lips smacking in pleasure as she lowered it when she'd finished and gave Mikasa a cute little smile. "Mikasa has been eating like a champ as of late."

Connie let out a tut of disapproval under his breath. His leg jerked from underneath the table and Sasha recoiled accordingly with a cry of "OW!"

"Idiot! Shut up," he hissed, sneaking a glance down to where Mikasa was giving them her familiar steely look, her mildly threatening aura practically taunting them to say more. "Can't you see she's upset?"

"I'm not upset," Mikasa said flatly.

"Look, she's fine. That's no reason to stamp on my foot," Sasha whimpered, bringing her boot up onto the bench next to her, rubbing the point of impact with a childish pout on her face. "Do I get an apology?"

"You get an ass-kicking," Connie breathed harshly out of his nostrils in defeat, before he grabbed his empty dish, throwing his spoon and cup in it and standing up. "I'm going to split before I watch Mikasa beat the crap out of Sasha and her mouth. See you in the bunkhouse, Eren, Armin. Good night, Mikasa."

"Good night," the trio at the end of the table simultaneously bid him farewell, as he turned on his heel, disappearing into the already thinning throng of latecomers to dinner. A moment later, Sasha scrambled up to follow him, practically tripping herself up in her haste and muttering something resemblong a rapid apology before she too left.

Things were quiet amongst the remaining occupants for several brief moments before anyone dared speak again.

"Hey, Eren?"

"Hn?" He turned to see Mikasa staring down into the recesses of the meat's broth whirling in the bottom of her half-eaten dish.

"Do you...do you think there's something wrong with me?"

"What...? Something...? Mikasa, no, of course not," he blinked in confusion. "Where the hell did that come from?"

She shrugged and looked away, her expression closed-off and motionless. "I don't know. Everyone just seems to be pointing out my misgivings as of late."

"Having a healthy appetite isn't a bad thing," Armin added softly in what he hoped would translate as comforting. She didn't smile in return.

Eren sighed and reached out once more, taking her lily-pale hand in his darker one and clasping it close in support. "Look, things haven't been easy for you recently. I get that. But I promise you, it's not a reflection on you as a person. So long as you're feeling OK now we can put up with your so-called 'misgivings.' They can hardly criticise you anyway- you were the one who saved their asses even before the fifteen metre showed up."

The corners of her lips perked in amusement and Eren's face relaxed in relief to see some emotion cross her face. Without thinking, he automatically went to kiss the back of the hand he held in his.

"Eren," Armin asserted in a warning tone. "Not here..."

His voice trailed off as Eren glanced over his shoulder to see the rest of the tables still rife with his comrades, eating and talking amongst themselves. No one appeared to be watching them directly, but it wasn't worth the risk exposing themselves in any way possible.

With regret, Eren lowered Mikasa's hand which slithered back from the table and onto her lap like a dead snake. The mood was instantly killed, smothered by the impulse of their thickly concealed integrity.

"Look..." Armin spoke up finally. "I'm not completely sure what's going on between you two at this point- whether you're a-" his voice lowered at this point, uttering the word like one would when referring to something filthy. "-couple isn't really my business, and so long as you're both happy and still friends, that's all that matters. But you can't carry on like this. If you're trying to keep something a secret, you will get found out. That's the nature of the military- you know that. Nothing can stay hidden forever."

"Armin-"

"I just don't want the two of you getting hurt." His let a half-hearted grin slip onto his face. He ran a hand through his already-tousled fringe, mussing up the blonde as he got to the back. "Whether it be by the higher ups, or by each other. You need to talk. You need to admit your weaknesses," Armin's gaze narrowed at Mikasa. "What happened this afternoon could have been so much worse. And if you two are going to start being...together...you need to start trusting each other. Maybe not trying to keep everything so private might be a start."

Mikasa made eye contact with Eren for a good few seconds before Armin finished speaking, turning her gaze on him to consider his words before looking back to Eren.

"Is that it?" she asked softly. "Are we keeping things quiet because...you're ashamed of me?"

"What?! No! Nothing like that!" Eren said hurriedly, shooting Armin a disapproving glare, who cringed in response. "The only reason we haven't announced it is because...well, it's technically against the rules."

The memories of the lecture the Special Ops Squad had given him that morning leapt to the forefront of his mind, and his whole mouth turned bitter.

"And of course we don't want people finding out about...that night..." his voice trailed away as he quickly checked over his shoulder that no one was listening.

"Whatever problems you guys have, then you really need to start talking to each other." Armin's hands slapped against his thighs as he stood up, resting a hand on Eren's shoulder as he made to leave. "Being 'together', although incognito and all, can't last long. I'll see you in the barracks. And Mikasa-" he turned to face her and smiled, relief clearly etched into his face. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

And then they were alone.

The noise around them swelled, and they were dimly aware of the bodies jostling behind them as they avoided eye contact, tracing the woodgrain of the table in taut tranquility.

"Eren...I need to know what you're feeling."

He looked up from the table to see Mikasa staring at him, her face completely composed. But her grey eyes were wrought with worry and concern as they searched his face desperately for something...anything.

"You've said countless times that you care about me. And I get it, I really do. It's frightening to say it for the first time. But it's not half as intimidating when its the truth. This past month, when we've...been meeting behind everyone's backs...kept everything so secretive...Armin's right, it can only hold us for so long. Something's going to fall out place at some point. We might as well resolve it now before we both get in too deep."

Eren hesitated, trying to meet her gaze, but faltering and letting his eyes drop to the surface of the table again, biting his lip. "I...I don't know what to tell you."

"Tell me what you're feeling." She reached out and both of her hands clasped his resting on the table. Suddenly, all reservations about being in public seemed to fly out of the window for Mikasa as she leaned across their empty bowls and clutched at his hands, her face inches from his. "I can't do this by myself. If we're going to be 'together' we have to know what the other's feeling. You've..." she halted, her breath catching in her throat in reservation as her grip loosened. "You've held some sort of reservation ever since that night. Please...tell me what it is."

"Mikasa, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you love me?"

The question was so sharp, abrupt, and came out much louder than intended. He instinctively flinched and whipped around to see if they'd been heard. Alas, no one appeared to be paying attention to the table in the back corner where they were seated, thankfully, and he pivoted back in his seat to face her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her back down to her seat.

"Of course I do."

"Then say it."

Eren's heart was pounding. He knew, deep in the tangle of conflicted emotions stirring endlessly in his mind, that this part was true at least. He was young, he was irresponsible, he didn't know the true definition of 'love' and he didn't understand how he was supposed to 'just know'. If someone had asked him only a month prior, "do you love Mikasa?" he probably would have responded with an offhand, "of course, she's like my sister." or "she's my best friend" and thought nothing of it.

But now...

Something had changed.

As he looked across the soft face contorted with anxiety- her soft, delicate pink-hued lips, her sharp cheek bones, the decided tapered point of her chin, the curved arches of her brows encasing the almond-shapes of her cloudy grey eyes...something was different. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, clasp her cheeks and whisper how much she meant to him, and kiss her...oh he wanted to kiss her so bad. Her warmth, her presence...it meant the world to him.

But then the thoughts of that night-

He swallowed nervously, pushing the physical aspects of the relationship to the back of his mind.

"Mikasa..." he began. "Let's...let's go outside."

"Eren, don't try and avoid it, this is seri-"

"Please." He fixed her with a pleading gaze. She visibly halted, watching him carefully in contemplation for several seconds before she sighed.

"Fine. Let's go."

Together, they stood up and left the mess hall, closing the door to the noise and confines of other people and into the darkening night outside. The moment the click of the door knob sounded, Eren seized hold of Mikasa's hand, half-leading, half-dragging her to the back of the mess hall, just under the window to the kitchens at the back of the building where he whirled around and slammed his palms against the wall, effectively pinning Mikasa between them.

And he kissed her.

Eyes screwed up tight, lips puckered like a fish, he tried to channel what he thought it meant to be 'passionate' as much as he could into this one making of contact.

Mikasa initially stiffened in response, but just as he felt her relax into the kiss, she tensed once more and he felt her hand work her way between their lips and push his face away from hers.

"Eren, I don't know what you're trying to do, but these are all just physical actions. Which is nice and all- but it doesn't matter half as much as the emotional part. This is what I need to know- whether..." she sighed. Her hand trailed down from his face to the neckline of his shirt, her hand bunching into a fist against his chest. "Whether this is more than just a physical thing for you."

"Of course it is...of course it's more than that." his heart was fluttering and he could feel a blush warming his cheeks, prickling unbecomingly. He pressed his lips against hers softly for a split second, gently biting her lip as he pulled away. "I...I love you. Of course I do. You saw how I was today. I couldn't...I couldn't bear to see you in pain. I felt responsible...I felt like I should protect you. I felt like I should have been there for you." Eren's head dropped, his chin resting against his chest. "It's like nothing I've ever felt before. Of course, I loved you before, but this past month- I don't know, there's something else there. The amount of times," he chuckled softly. His eyes were beginning to sting with tears and he tried desperately to push them back, blinking rapidly. "The amount of times I've wanted to take your hand, or kiss you, or show everyone how much you mean to me...you have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself,"

He felt Mikasa's hand reach out and clasp the back of his head, the other one sliding beneath his chin and tipping it upwards so she look at him face to face.

"You mean it?" her lips barely parted, her words scarcely a faint whisper slipping out from between them.

Eren choked on a laugh, the tears of frustration at himself and the immense, overwhelming sense of his emotions towards this wonderful girl before his welled up in his eyes. "Come on, Mikasa, I thought insecurities were my thing. If you take that away from me I don't know what I'm bringing to the table."

She laughed softly, the graceful curves of her eyelashes batting against her cheek as her gaze fell to the ground for a second before Eren's hand cupped her cheek and, together, they both leant in for the kiss that followed. Her nose brushed against his cheeks as he tilted his head, closing his eyes when she wrapped her hands around his head, holding him tightly, clasping the wisps of hair between her fingers. Eren clutched at the sides of Mikasa's face. He could taste the dinner they'd just shared on her breath, but he didn't care- his lips grazed against hers over and over; tenderly at first until they grew more and more rapid. The thudding of his heart echoed in his ears and the blood drummed through his fingertips, as the tears began to run down his cheeks, one by one, falling like crystalline beads from the contours of his face.

Their breath grew ragged as their bodies pressed together, Mikasa still up against the back wall of the mess hall, their kiss deepening as she bit his lower lip, nibbling the skin as his tongue slid across the surface of her teeth before leaving the relative peace of her mouth and trailing along her jawline, planting tender kisses as he went.

"Ah..." her breath caught in her throat in shaky pleasure. Her grip tightened on the back of his head, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck, his warm breath sending oddly contrasting chills cascading through her flesh. Their senses were alight, the gentle glow of passion starting a roaring fire within the both of them as their lips crushed together again with increased ferocity, the desperation to love, to infatuate themselves within the other's affection holding them rapt under the same influence.

Mikasa's hands loosened from the back of his head, their grip slackening from his hair and trailing down past his shoulders and down to the neckline of his shirt, where her fingers traced the form his collarbone took beneath his tawny flesh.

He couldn't stop the tears rolling down his face, even when they withdrew from one another at last, breathless and gasping. Eren quickly swiped away the excess saliva from his chin with the cuff of his sleeve, his heart still thudding loud and clear, drumming against his chest.

"It...it'll be curfew soon," he said in as much of a monotone as he could muster, rubbing his eyes against the back of his hand furiously.

Mikasa's face fell at his statement, head drooping disappointingly before she barrelled into his chest, pressing her face into his shoulder like a child seeking comfort, whilst him arms encased her shoulders, clutching her close in an embrace that united their pounding heartbeats.

"I don't want to leave you," she whispered. "I want...to spend another night with you."

Eren's heart plummeted to the ground as the floodgates holding the memories of their first time together overflowed- the memories of the first kiss, the primal attraction, the impulsive raw situation...he wasn't ready, he couldn't take that on again, he'd scarcely recovered from last time...

That being said, did he owe it to her?

"Eren? Eren, what's wrong?"

"I..." he breathed heavily from his nostrils, eyes dancing away from the girl he held close to him, flitting across the darkening alleyway they were in. A crow was cawing its goodnight from somewhere not too faraway, the noise raucous and grating in the cool air. "I love you. God know, I love you, Mikasa. But the whole...having sex thing..." he bit his lip and turned his gaze on her, who suddenly appeared very vulnerable- her eyes wide in concern, peering into his, resting against his chest as if in defence. "It just feels so...strange to me. Not bad!" he added quickly. "Just strange...the whole thing had me freaked out for days- I...I haven't quite moved past it, even now, and I don't know if I'm ready to do it again. I'm sorry..."

He watched Mikasa's eyes part from his as she looked away. Her fingers picked at the stitching along the neckline of shirt as she contemplated something silently.

You idiot. You absolute fucking idiot. You've just ruined everything, you stupid, insensitive, selfish, fuckingidiot...

"Alright."

"...what?"

"It's alright." Mikasa looked back at him once again, reassurance perking up the line of her mouth in credited contentment as her eyes scanned his more than surprised face. "It's weird for the both of us...and yes, I liked it, but I understand. It's not something we can just do on impulse. I can wait, Eren. I don't mind. You take all the time you need." And with that, she leaned forward and planted one last kiss on the wind-roughened surface of his lips. "Just promise you'll wait for me, too."

"Of course...of course I will," A relieved smile broke its way out onto Eren's face, his joy crinkling in the corners of his eyes. "Oh, you're the best, Mikasa. I can't think of anyone else who'd put up with me the way you do."

"Well, not everyone's had nearly six years of practice at it," she chuckled softly. "We'll try again some day,"

He nodded, trying his best to ignore the swelling insubordination rearing its unwelcome head inside of him. That, he hoped, would change with time. "Sure."

"Alright then." They both smiled at each other, their expressions lingering for several seconds as Mikasa placed her hand on the side of his face, her touch feather-light as it skimmed across his cheek in affection.

A sudden clang startled the both of them, Eren's grip tightening on her shoulders as they both whipped around in search of the noise, until a second toll rang out in the otherwise still air and their eyes locked once more in simultaneous realisation.

"Curfew," they both mouthed.

"Shit," they disentangled themselves from one another, practically tripping over in their haste as Eren cursed, stubbing his toe on the corner as they rounded the junction between the mess hall and its neighbouring bunkhouse. Before they could read the fork in the path where they would split, Mikasa caught hold of his hand for a final moment and squeezed it by means of bidding good night.

"Sleep well," she whispered, her fingers trailing away from his as she stepped away in the direction of the girls' barracks.

"I love you," Eren called after her quietly. "I love you. Don't ever forget it."

Mikasa smiled as he sprinted off, rounding a bend and disappearing across the courtyard before the doors could be locked.

"I won't," she spoke aloud, more to herself than in response.

She winced as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen, the feeling of breathless dizziness starting to seep into her being just like what had happened that afternoon. Taking deep, controlled breaths, she took one, two steps forwards, slowly, precisely, before putting her foot forth to take a third...

Mikasa doubled over and threw up, every ounce of pleasure, passion and sweet pain left in her spilling from her lower lip and crashing to the ground.

...

This took me wayyyy too long to write. And it turned out much longer than I'd anticipated. Shit. The music I used for this chapter was mostly 'So ist es immer' and 'If I Die Young'. They're both such gorgeous songs, and 'So ist es immer'...hnnnngh German is such a great language. I love the way it sounds so much. Anyway, that's unrelated.