Enjoy loves!

Mikasa liked to think of herself as patient. She'd been around Eren for nearing six years by now, and being in such close proximity to such a stubborn, impulsive person does make one quite the tolerant individual. Whether it be supporting him or discouraging him from his hapless, unrepressed sense of justice, she'd dealt with her fair share of his obstinance and, as such, had gained a somewhat forbearing trait as a consequence.

So why now- after mere hours of last seeing Eren- was she so anxious? If her patience was something she was supposed to rely upon as a virtue, why was it failing her now?

From the moment Eren had struggled clumsily out of their bed early that morning and she'd watched him awkwardly dress, she had felt as if she'd done something wrong. She felt as if she'd breached some sort of unspoken social construct between the two of them. Then again, she supposed they had.

Things certainly weren't going to return to normal after this. Amorous advances weren't exactly committed and then forgotten about just as easily. It was naive to think as such, and as inexperienced, young, and overwhelmed by the whole thing as she were, Mikasa was well aware there would be repercussions; socially...perhaps physically, and most certainly emotionally between them. And, there would be most serious results if the higher ups found out about what they'd done. But for now, where they were concerned, wasn't important.

What was important...was her and Eren.

She'd watched quietly as he pulled his night shirt and pants back on and crossed the room to the door with the intention of leaving, before he'd stopped- pausing, with one hand resting on the wooden frame- before he turned back to face her and smiled. Nothing more. And he left. Back down the corridor, back into his own room, to which the door resounded softly throughout the solitary bunkhouse as it was shut.

And then the questions came.

Did I do it wrong? Did I do it OK? Did I force it? It was consensual, right? Is he OK? Am I OK? What the hell was it all about?

The insecurities and uncertainties dripping with diffidence came thick and fast and she didn't know quite how to deal with the onslaught of feelings all at once. She was happy, in a sense, that it was Eren who took her, and she was happy he had harboured and revealed mutual feelings for her in the form of ultimate devotion with remarkably little convincing or foreplay.

Yet when she got up and began to dress herself, the sight of several few small drops of blood staining the sheets, a thought vaguely crossed her mind, announcing that something was missing, stolen away in the night never to return. And she wasn't quite sure how to feel about it- somewhat incomplete, and..repentant for rushing the whole expression of feelings. She spent the whole day walking around feeling like she was burdened with a filthy secret painted across her forehead.

She needed to talk to Eren.

They were both new to this whole thing, as inexperienced and vulnerable as a couple of kids. She had to know whether they were on the same page. Mikasa had to know what it had meant to him...and whether it had meant the same thing to her. Did he acknowledge it as symbolising the step forward in their relationship Mikasa had so desperately desired for so long now? Or was it, like for so many guys, something to be regarded as casual; a primal, necessary affair and shouldn't affect their status as friends. Her heart practically ached at the thought.

Her feelings for Eren were hardly a secret amidst the 104th. It was apparent to anyone who's gaze crossed them for even a split second. Mikasa-and-Eren, two as one, never apart, practically part of the same faction. You didn't have to watch them for long to realise what was going through Mikasa's head every time her eyes met his. Every cadet they had trained with seemed to know of Mikasa's unrequited feelings. Everyone, that is, except for Eren. Whether he misinterpreted her infatuation as a mother's smothering or was simply averse to her affection, she didn't know, but she hoped-prayed- last night was proof, proof he really did see her as more than just a close friend.

She had made it the top of her list of priorities to catch hold of him the moment she had the chance and get him to say what she so depserately wanted to hear. But as she waited an extra fifteen minutes at the breakfast table for him to show up, he made no appearance. Even when she returned to the bunkhouse to collect her things, he had cleared off from there as well, and after lunch conducted itself in the exact same manner, it became clear. Eren had successfully made himself completely scarce.

Mikasa had never known her patience to wear thin so quickly. Throughout the full day- the time spent in training; on cleaning duty with Sasha in the girls' barracks, and sat in the infirmary as her shoulder and broken collar bone were checked once more- there was only one persistent thought looping through her mind with no intention of quieting.

Where is he. I need to talk to him. Where is he.

Eren...

What did I do wrong?

...

The evening saw the mess hall full of cadets who had finally been allowed to relinquish their duties for the day and retire in preperation for the night ahead. An orange glow oozed out through the window panes like golden honey, seeping into the bleeding shadows growing longer in the dimming light. The noise of jovial chatter and the clash of cutlery and dishes was audible in the otherwise still air.

Mikasa stared into the meaty broth curdling in the bottom of her dish. She had arrived early in the vain hope of catching Eren, but, as to be expected judging by the day's failure, her punctuality was in vain. Instead she had been joined by Connie, Sasha, Jean, Krista and Ymir, who were currently entirely focused on watching Sasha cram a full loaf of bread into her mouth in response to Connie betting her half of his dinner. Both he and Jean were whooping with laughter as she snorted like a horse, whilst Krista watched hesitantly, occasionally punctuating the boys' laughter with "Be careful she doesn't choke..."

Ymir was watching the proceedings disinterestedly, one arm resting around Krista's shoulders, the other propped upon the table with her chin resting in her palm. She held a spoon in her mouth which she waved about every so often by means of assumed entertainment.

With a triumphant gleam in her eye and what looked like a great deal of effort, Sasha swallowed one last time and stuck her tongue out at Connie.

"There!" she exclaimed. "Told you it was easy! Glory is mine! And so is the rest of your dinner,"

"Holy crap you really managed it," Jean remarked, looking somewhere between disgusted and impressed. "Does your body just lack the ability to gag? Anyone else would have choked,"

"Yes, and she could have, quite easily! Promise you won't do it again, Sasha, of all the ways to hurt yourself that's got to one of the most stupid,"

"Come on Krista, don't be such a buzzkill," Connie said, obligingly sliding across his half-finished stew to Sasha who grabbed her spoon, wielding it like a weapon in her enthusiasm. "We're just screwing around, besides, she didn't have to do it...what?"

Sasha had thrust her hand out towards Connie and was bending her fingers towards herself, as if she were beckoning him.

"And the bread," she demanded.

"Aw, geez, can't you leave me something to eat?!"

"You've just had an entire loaf, eat anymore and you'll be shitting wheat,"

"Don't care, a bet's a bet," Sasha said happily as Connie reluctantly handed the bread roll over. "If a little's good, more must be better!"

"There is no saving you," Jean rolled his eyes and turned away, scanning the rest of the table before he seemed to realise they were missing more than one person. "Wait...where's Armin?"

"Armin? Good question- hey, Mikasa, have you seen Armin? Mikasa?...Mikasa!"

"...Huh?" Mikasa jerked in response to her name, only to look up and see the whole table staring at her. "What?"

"Where's Armin?" Jean repeated.

"Armin? He...was with Commander Hanji the last time I saw him; they were sorting throught the library." she said softly, ducking her head once more, her dark hair falling across her face like a curtain.

"Oh, right. Armin's pretty favourable with the powers that be, isn't he? After his strategy during Trost he's got a pretty good rep at the moment," Connie observed, grinning around the table as if seeking approval from his comrades.

Sasha pushed the now empty-dish away from her, stifling a belch which made Krista recoil. "Yeah, he's been in the library all day, the only time I saw him was during training this morning. Besides-" she broke off as she looked down towards the end of the table and seemed to notice Mikasa sat by herself. "Wait...what about Eren?"

"Hn? What about Eren?" Jean grunted, picking food from him teeth.

"He's not here!"

"Well observed, Potato girl,"

"Don't sweat it, you know he's always with the highers ups and the Captain's squad." Jean punctuated his sentence by flinging a string of meat from his mouth into his empty dish, grimacing. "It's nice to have dinner with some peace and quiet for once, you know?"

"Hey, Mikasa. Do you know where Eren is?"

Mikasa's spine instinctively straightened as she looked back down the table to see Ymir regarding her languidly from a little way off along the bench. Though her posture hadn't changed nor slackened, her dark eyes seemed to harden as she met the other girl's far more surprised gaze.

"Uh...Eren?"

"Yeah, him. You're usually always together, right? Have you seen him?"

"I..."

The memories of last night came crashing down once more.

Him above her. His warm breath. The ragged texture of his chapped lips against hers. His body against hers- within hers, the same as hers, as one...the pain burning in her arm yet not mattering...

She was so thankful she didn't blush easily, otherwise she would most definitely be a wonderful shade of pinkberry right now.

Mikasa swallowed painfully, pushing the thoughts of the prior night's events to the back of her mind as she laid down her spoon by her half empty dish. "I...I haven't seen him all day,"

"Hm, that's odd. Even when the squads keep you apart it's not often you go a full day without seeing one other. Guess you must be pretty gutted." Ymir stated before she was elbowed in the ribs by Krista, hissing, "don't be rude!"

"Mikasa? Are you feeling OK?" Sasha chimed in once more from the bottom of the table. "You're not eating," she nodded towards the bowl before her, and Mikasa wordlessly shoved it down the table to her.

"I'm not hungry,"

"Are you sure you're alright?" Krista asked, her big doe eyes practically dewy with concern. "You've been really quiet and withdrawn...more than usual, that is,"

Ymir snorted. "Now who's being rude?"

"I'm fine," Mikasa said in as monotonous as a tone as she could muster. "It's just...fatigue. It's difficult to sleep with a broken collar bone."

"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in a sling or something-"

Before Mikasa could respond she glanced towards the doorway and immediatly tensed as it opened...

...to reveal Eren.

He stepped into the mess hall, passing a hand over his thick, messy hair as he yawned, the weariness of today's events clearly already taking their toll- before his gaze locked with Mikasa's, and he too froze.

A telling second passed between them before he nodded curtly, giving her a discreet wave, barely extending his fingers. He crossed the room to get some food, taking only a few seconds to pick up a dish and have it filled, before he grabbed a bread roll and made his way over to their table.

Mikasa instinctively ducked her head once more, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear self-conciously. The familair throb between her legs ached at the thought of the secret both her and Eren were harbouring. At least, she'd hoped he'd kept it a secret. It wasn't like her to act shy, or awkward in any circumstance, but these were...well, special circumstances.

"Oh, hey speak of the devil," Connie acknowledged Eren as he approached the table, greeting him with a mock salute.

"Just when I thought we'd have a titan-free evening. Well, I'm out of here." Jean pushed himself backwards up and out of his seat, stepping over the bench in order to make room for Eren. As Eren passed him, he reached out and slapped his shoulder. "Better late than never, Titan Brat,"

"Watch it horse face," Eren retorted with a malicious grin, taking his seat as Jean shook his head in derision before bidding the rest of the group good night.

"We were just talking about you," Sasha said through a mouthful of Mikasa's half-finished dinner.

"Oh really?" Eren snuck a sideways glance at Mikasa.

"We were just talking about how no one's seen you all day," she stated in as calm a voice as she could muster.

"Yeah...yeah, well, we've been busy...the Captain had me cleaning the rest of the squad's gear most of the afternoon..." His cheeks v pinked as he hurriedly grabbed his spoon and shoveled a mouthful into his face, scarcely chewing before he swallowed and scooped up another.

"Mikasa's been lonely without you," Ymir drawled, jabbing a thumb in Mikasa's general direction. "Krista, we're done eating, can we leave?"

"She has?" Eren asked, looking towards Mikasa once more.

"No, she hasn't," she said, giving Ymir a cold look, who merely laughed and stood up, offering her hand to Krista in preperation to leave.

"Lighten up, Mikasa. You on the rags or something?"

"Ymir!" Krista said, appalled as she slipped her hand into Ymir's. "You're so mean tonight!"

"Just the way you like me,"

"Ahh, go wait outside!" Krista brushed her off before looking towards Mikasa, spreading her hand in a farewell gesture. "I guess we'll see you all tomorrow. I hope your collar bone feels better,"

And with that, they left.

"Oh right, how're your injuries?" Eren asked, suddenly looking concerned. He lowered his spoon and made what felt the first proper eye contact they'd had since they'd ripped the pants off each other last night.

"Better," Mikasa responded stiffly.

A moment or two of silence passed before Sasha threw her hands up in despair.

"What is wrong with everyone tonight?"

"A...ha...what do you mean?" Eren said, visibly unnerved at her suspiscion.

"Everyone's acting...weird! First there's no Armin, Eren's late, Mikasa's talking even less than usual, Ymir gets all confrontational and Jean was acting...friendly! Seriously," she poked her spoon towards Eren before swivelling it onto Mikasa. "What's up with you guys?"

"Nothing's wrong, Sasha," Mikasa insisted for the second time that night. She sighed, tossing the final bread roll down to the infamous appetite before she stood up and walked around the table to stand next to Eren. "Eren, can we talk? Outside?"

"Uh..." Eren glanced down at his food before he exhaled softly, dropping his spoon into the broth and wiping his hands on his jeans. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

He stood up and let Mikasa walk ahead of him, following suit as they made their way to the doorway. Behind them they heard Connie say,

"If you eat Eren's as well, Sasha, you really will end up shitting wheat,"

The left the mess hall, walking across the courtyard admist the growing shadows of the barracks inthe fading light. There were very few people outside; only several stragglers on their way to and from the main building. The muffled noise of happy chatter pierced the otherwise still dusk air, leeching from the bunkhouses where comrades prepared to turn in for the night.

As they rounded the corner down the divide between the male and female barracks Mikasa halted, pausing to look around to see if anyone was about and liable to hear them.

They were alone.

She turned and faced Eren, facing him directly and forcing him to look her in the eye.

"So," she began.

"So." he echoed. His eyes flickered across her face as he opened his mouth to speak, before hesitating and falling silent for moment. "I...I know I said it last night, but sorry about your collar bone,"

"It's alright. It's not too much of inconveinience. But that's not really the issue here, is it, Eren?"

"I...yeah...I guess not." With a sigh he let himself fall back so he was leaning with his back up against the wall of the bunkhouse. "Look, I'm sorry. I know I've acted like a real asshole today, it wasn't fair to you."

Mikasa pressed her lips together and nodded stiffly.

"Where have you been all day?" she asked. "Didn't you think we needed to talk about what happened? About...last night?"

The silence felt thick and heavy as Eren passed a hand over his face, sighing and peeking through his fingers at the girl before him.

"I know, you're right. I just...this whole situation just has me out my head, you know? It just feels...weird."

"Wrong?"

"No, no, not wrong! It's just strange and...uh, it's really hard to explain." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly before a thought suddenly occurred to him. "I didn't hurt you last night, did I?"

"No, I was lying down, my shoulder was fine." she said stoically.

"I meant...I meant, did I hurt...you know," his cheeks coloured as he cleared his throat in emarrassment as Mikasa's eyes widened, surprised.

"Um...no, not at all." she said, mostly truthfully. It had hurt a little bit, but then again, after getting your bones smashed by a titan earlier that same day it wasn't too much of a big deal.

"Good. I'm glad." A smile perked the corner of Eren's lips before his face fell once more, his mouth forming a hard, worried, line. "Anyway. What did you want to talk about?Other than the obvious, of course,"

Mikasa opened her lips to speak before she stopped short, hesitatant. She'd waited for this moment all day- so why couldn't she ask him? Why couldn't she clarify- why couldn't she put her mind at ease?

Was she afraid of the answer?

Eren watched her quietly deliberating in silence. A second later, he reached out and took her hand in his, his fingers clasping her palm tightly as he lifted both their hands to his mouth and kissed hers, softly, the roughened texture of dried skin grazing the back of her hand.

"What...last night...what did it mean to you?" Mikasa forced herself to say as she watched his affection lifelessly. She was so used to being the stoic, dependable, model cadet that the training corps had molded her into being over the past three years it felt physically difficult to be so emotionally vulnerable. Last night had been different. She'd been so doped up on pain medication of Hanji's concotion nothing quite seemed clear until she saw Eren, and then everything felt like it fell into place. She'd felt so compelled to reach out to him- kiss him, hold him, let him take her...

She didn't have any regrets about it. Her heart had belonged to Eren for a long time. Whether he knew it or not was the real question.

Her steel grey eyes moved to fix on his, searching, worried. "What made you do it? Were you acting on instinct or do you...did you..." she stopped, biting her lip and tightened her grip on Eren's hand. "Did you...understand?"

"What do you mean by 'understand'?" he asked.

Mikasa stared down at their entwined fingers- then raised her arm, lifting so their hands were eye level with the both of them. "Did you understand what I was trying to tell you?! I...I love you. As more than just my adopted brother, more than just the boy who saved me. I've known for a long time, and I needed to know whether that- the ultimate form of affection- was enough to prove it to you." She was concious of her face prickling with heat, an uncharacteristic blush spreading across her cheeks, but she tried her best to ignore it. Clenching their hands together she continued. "Last night...I was so full of pain medication it messed with my head. I was impulsive. I'm sorry. But then you responded and I just...needed to know whether those were your true feelings."

"Mikasa..." Eren's eyes remained downcast and her heart began to pound in fear. The expression of her innermost thoughts made her feel weak, such a contrast from the cool, confident exterior she usually bore that her susceptibility was physically difficult to express.

Eren sighed, glancing up once more at their clasped hands as Mikasa lowered them.

"Ah, what the hell,"

And with that, he kissed her.

It was different than last night's kiss- last night, her senses had been dulled and the emotion running through her was too giddy for her to truly feel anything. But now it felt more real, more heartfelt, less instinctual, more driven...

Mikasa let her eyes slide shut as she deepened the kiss, releasing his hand and resting her arms on his shoulders, her hands looped around the back on his head. He held her waist, trailing around the the small of her back, every touch sending shivers exploding in clusters all over her body.

He withdrew after only a few seconds, his exhalation of breath warming her neck as his head butted against her shoulder in affection like a cat.

"I know what you're trying to say. This whole thing feels weird to me as well." He nuzzled into her neck and planted a soft butterfly kiss, trailing down to the curve of her shoulder. "I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's...weird, but it didn't feel wrong."

"Eren?"

"Yeah?"

"Your ears are turning red. Are you lying?"

"No!" He quickly jumped up and straightened from the divot of her neck. "No, I'm not lying- I swear, Mikasa. I swear."

His arms were still encircling her waist as Mikasa put up a hand and laid it across his chest reverently. "Alright. I believe you."

Eren ducked his head a little and peered up at her from beneath his messy fringe. "Mikasa? What we did last night wasn't just something to calm my sex drive."

She hit him in the chest, slightly harder than she intended, her cheeks flaming up once again. "Keep it down, Eren! Someone might hear us!"

"We're fine," he said, wincing as he rubbed the point of impact. "Ow, by the way. Anyway, that's not what happened. I want you to know that, get that in your head. You were right- I definitely care for you more than a sister and...I can't deny I don't see you differently now. You mean a lot to me. And...and maybe last night was just us starting to change something between us."

"Yeah..." Mikasa smiled. "Yeah, maybe."

She reached out and stroked the side of his face. Just as he went to caress her outstretched hand a footstep resounded from the front of the bunkhouse, approaching the gap in between the girls' and boys' barracks where they were standing. Immediatly they sprang apart- just as Jean appeared at the end of the gap looking straight at them.

"Oh, it's you," He said, narrowing his eyes at the two of them, lingering for a second longer on Eren. "We can hear you making noise in the bunkhouse."

"C-can you?" Eren stammered. He snuck a glance over at Mikasa to see she was wearing an equally as guilty expression as he was. She caught his eye from the corner of hers and quickly reassembled her features into her deafult poker face.

"Yeah, and we'd really appreciate you keeping it down, thanks."

"We're done here anyway, aren't we, Eren?" Mikasa responded coolly. giving him a knowing look.

"Y...yeah, thanks for the advice."

Jean regarded them suspiciously for a few more seconds before turning on his heel and walking away, a disapproving "tsk" audible with his fading footsteps.

"Oh shit," Eren said. He let himself fall against the wall of the bunkhouse, resting against it with his elbow. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He heard us."

"It's OK, he didn't suspect anything. He probably just heard our voices, not what we were actually saying."

Eren looked across at her. She was facing towards the spot where Jean had just been. Her dark hair fell about her face, framing her pale skin which was illuminated a sweet honey colour by the light from the window of the bunkhouse some six feet above them. The night was upon them now, and even though the sky was moonless, in the dim light Mikasa appeared almost ethereal. A real beauty.

As this thought crossed his mind, she turned back to face him, giving him a reassuring smile in response to his doubt-filled expression. "Trust me, Eren. He would've said something if he knew. You know he doesn't hide his feelings."

"That's true. I guess you're right." He stood up straight once more, taking a step forward and wrapping his arms around the girl before him, burying his face into her thick hair. "Even so, we should probably keep quiet about all of this. What we did last night was definitely against the rules. I know there aren't exactly any rules about relationships within the military but they're not exactly advocated,"

Mikasa nodded, leaning against him, actually enjoying the feeling of being small and enclosed. In his arms, she felt safe. She felt like she could keep protecting him. "I won't say anything,"

"I can count on you." Eren withdrew from the embrace, smiling, before he pressed his lips against hers for several seconds.

"I love you," Mikasa whispered when he eventually pulled away.

And he was gone.

Back in the barracks, they were both the last cadets in before curfew when the doors were locked and lights out was called.

"Look who's back," Jean said derisively from his bunk. "What did you want with Mikasa?"

"None of your business, Jean," Eren responded in a low tone, running a hand through his hair as he crossed the room, heading straight for his bed next to Armin's.

"Sure, sure. Just keep it in your pants, Jaeger."

Eren flipped him off and dodged a pillow thrown straight at his head.

"Come on, Jean, pillows? Really? Is this a slumber party for little girls or something?" Reiner's voice came from the opposite bunk, accentuated with a teasing smirk.

"Shut up, Reiner,"

Armin looked up from the book on his lap and smiled when he saw Eren approaching.

"Welcome back," he greeted him as Eren fell into the bed adjacent to his, faceplanting the pillow with a muffled groan. "Long day?" He said sympathetically.

Meanwhile, Mikasa curled up on her side under the sheets as the lights in the girls' bunkhouse were extingiuished.

The room extinguished into darkness, and as the noise of her bunk mates settling down to sleep piercced the silence, only one thought weighed upon her mind.

He didn't say it back.

Across the yard, Eren rolled over to face the wall, hiding his face behind his arm.