"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." 

― Kahlil Gibran

(Unedited)

Penthouse, Grand Carlston Hotel

[Clara Bell POV]

The silence in the car was deafening. He was so quiet and I'm too mad at him. The jealousy I felt had clouded every reason that's left in me.

I looked at him and he looks mad.

Was he mad because we left early? I'm glad Alessandra and Stavros didn't question why we were leaving early. The party has just begun. It was 9 at night when we left. He's been driving for an almost an hour. We should arrive to his place very soon.

I leaned against my back and close my eyes. I can't stay awake any longer. My eyes are droopy and I'm feeling light headed. Not long, I fell asleep.

———{{@}}———-

[Rafael POV]

After I talk to Katherine, I called Christopher to file a lawsuit against the insurance company for breaching the policy, to threatens them. I gave the insurance company a week to decide then I will not stop until their company shuts down. I'm not to be messed with!

I shoved my phone in my pocket and I noticed that I was in the balcony overlooking the water front a bit farther but with clear view. It looks beautiful as the light from the lamppost lighting the area. Reflecting the color of the light in the water. I move closer to the metal railings where the light was a bit dimmed and both hands was holding onto it watching the sky. It was beautiful night.

I was about to head back to the hall when I saw Stavros and Alessandra. Stavros was on the phone. Alessandra saw me and she walk to my direction leaving Stavros alone.

"Hey!" She smiled and stood beside me. We both face the waterfront as we talk.

"Hi!" I greeted back.

"When is your due?" I asked politely.

"In a month. It's getting heavier each day, you know?" She chuckled as she rub her palm on her big bump." She looked up to the sky and heaved a loud sighed. I thought Bella would surely look beautiful when her belly grown big. I smiled.

"I'm happy you already found her!! I saw how happy you were! Those twinkle in your eyes when you look at her.. You are definitely head over heels in love Rafael, and I'm so happy for you!" She remarked cheerfully, giving me her full blown smile.

"Yes! She was the best thing that ever happened to me!" I smiled back. "And I'm going to be a father!!" I blurted out excitedly, before I realized it.

"Really?" She exclaimed with widened eyes. "Congratulations Rafael!! Wow this is great news!!" She pulled me for a hug and I hug her back patting her back lightly.

I thought I have love Alessandra, but I was wrong. The feeling I had for her was definitely not as strong as I had for Bella. I smiled at the thought of her. I had to go back before she worries.

I pulled myself away of Alessandra and thank her. We both turned on our heel and I excused myself. She stopped at the middle of the balcony under the light. She wave before I headed back to the hall.

When I came back to our table, I didn't see Bella. Demetrio and Nicolas was talking while the others was in the dance floor. I went around to look for her but I don't see her anywhere.

I decided to check on the washroom. The only place I could think she could be. Just as I reach the door, Kristela block me smiling flirtatiously. I had to get away from her before Bella sees us.

"Rafael can I talk to you for a second?" She asked hopeful.

"About what? I have no time for such senseless talk. Spill it!" I demanded coldly, with my eyes roaming around.

I wasn't paying attention to whatever she's talking since my full attention was to where is Bella. I'm beginning to get distraught, thinking she might have collapse somewhere knowing her condition.

Oh God, I hope not..

All of a sudden, Kristela kissed me. I felt sick and disgusted. I look at her grimly as I pulled her away from me feeling like gagging. Then I caught sight of Bella. I completely forget Kristela. Shoving her so I can passed by and briskly walk to Bella's direction. She looks exhausted and impassive.

"Bella, I've been looking for you!" I was happy to see her safe. I pulled her to me closely. She was like my oxygen, my air to breath.

Then all of a sudden she told me to leave worst she threatens me? She will asked this Eric to drive her to Enna's place with a distaste in her tone.

And who is this fucking Eric is?

I tried not to growl on her. I asked who was the Eric but she just shrugged it off. I didn't show any contempt although my whole chest was going to explode. I was so mad.

Who is that damn Eric??? Dammit, I'm getting so annoyed! Is he a suitor?

FUCK! I mentally cuss.

I was so mad that I didn't bother to repeat the question. I tried to think that she's maybe exhausted that she needs to sleep and I just realized that her being pregnant she tends to sleep a lot, and Patrick said so. God, it's so hard to read her. One second she's sweet, then another minute she's cold. God, I'm going to bear this lifetime?? Yes, I will for sure.. But I'm hoping after her pregnancy she will be her normal self, if that's how you call her as being sweet and not changing her moods every seconds.

I was quiet while I'm driving never glancing at her side. I was too jealous about this guy. I will definitely find out who is he and he's going to regret the day he started thinking of pursuing her!

I was turning to the street to the hotel when I decided to glanced on her side and saw her peacefully sleeping. My heart melted at the sight of her sleeping like an angel.

I parked in my spot and scooped her in my arms out of the car gently and headed to the elevator. I used my knuckles to push the button trying to balance myself not dropping her to the ground. Shortly the elevator jolted to stop and the door slides open. I walked to my door and took me time to punch the code to unlock the door. And finally, after few tries the door unlocked.

As soon as I got in, I kick the door shut and headed to my room laying her gently on the bed covers. I stretched my arm feeling a bit numb, then I started undressing her to change in a comfortable sleeping clothes. I gulped audibly when her creamy chest exposed. It was the most agonizing moment of my life every time I'm undressing her and I couldn't even do anything.

After an arduous battle of my extreme arousal, finally she was changed and already tucked in. I quickly walked to the washroom and had my longest cold shower in my entire years of existence.

———{{@}}———

[Clara Bell POV]

I woke up feeling exuberant. I checked the time on the bedside table and it says 10:13 AM. I looked around the room and I realized I was in Rafael's bedroom. I quickly got out of the bed and walked to the washroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth with the spare toothbrush I saw in the drawer. I decided to have a shower and call Eric to drive me at Enna's place. When I was about to lift my dress, I notice it was a pink sleeping gown. Surely, he changed me last night. I ignored the rising annoyance within my system and climbed in the shower and turned the water on. Not long, I was scrubbing my whole body and lathering couple times and rinsing it. When I felt satisfied, I climbed out of the shower and pulled a towel from the towel cabinet and dried my self. I picked up the dirty fabric and tossed it on the laundry basket that was sitting on the corner. I walked out the washroom and started getting dress. I know Rafael was already at work. I don't want to see him yet, since I'm still mad and not ready to talk to him.

I found the clutch in the coffee table where I knew my phone is. As soon as I found my phone I called Eric. He said he should be here in 15-20 depending on the traffic.

I walk to the kitchen to have some drink when a note in the fridge caught my interest.

Good Morning Mio Amore!

I made some pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and sausages for you. I didn't wake you up since I know you're exhausted from last night. And I don't have the heart to wake you up just for breakfast and you look so peacefully sleeping.

I have an important meeting to attend to. I maybe late tonight. Hopefully, this will be done today.

Siempre te amaré!! (I will always Love You!)

Rafael

My heart tug after reading it. I looked on the table and there's a big plate covered with a metal lid. I didn't bother to check it.

I decided to leave a note so I went to his office and look for a pen and a sticky notepad. As soon as I entered his office, I saw the pens in the pen holder but no sticky notepad anywhere on his desk, mostly folders, papers. I decided to intrude his drawers. The first drawer was basically, staples, stacks, scissors,.. I closed it disappointendly, then move onto the other drawers but it was all locked except the center one. I pulled open the drawer and it's all photos. I took the photos and I saw his Mom and Dad looking happy sitting on a couch while a little boy was in between them. He looks serious and cold, which, he is until now. I looked for more photos until I stumbled on one particular photo. He was laughing happily while the girls hand was around his neck looking amused. They look so much in love. I put the photo back in and push the drawer closed, and just how I closed my heart from feeling that hurt again. I heaved a painful sighed and blink back the tear that's threatening to fall.

I scanned the folders again maybe there's a piece of paper I could use until I stumble on a brown envelop. I got so curious. I pulled the envelop from the stack of papers and folders that was covering it. I opened it and pulled the thing out of the envelop only to find out that it's all photos of him and Kristela in a very disturbing positions. The first photo looks like in his office, while the others mostly were in his bedroom, then in a bar. It looks like they have been doing it for a while. And here I thought he was really into me.

Why??

I couldn't hold the tears anymore. I let it fall freely. With a shaky hand I grab all the photos and put it all back in the envelop and I just notice, at the back of the envelop was my name written in it.

So it was purposely sent it to my name? How come he didn't gave it to me? Did he trapped it so I wouldn't know?

All this question was reeling in my head and it's starting to give me a headache. I remember Eric. He mush have been waiting for me. I quickly made a note for him in a white paper, because I know he'll come and look for me. Then I grab the brown envelop with all the photos in it and head out quickly.

I apologized to Eric as I got in the car. Not long, I was at Enna's place. I still have my own key, so I got in without hassles. I quickly ran to my room, tossing the envelop on my vanity and dive onto my bed and cried my heart out. After a decade, when I felt a bit better, I got up and sat on the edge of the bed. Enna was already at work. I check my account in my phone. I need money If I want to leave somewhere where he can't find me. I hate him. I should have learn m lesson from the very beginning I caught him.

Just the thought of leaving and not seeing him forever made me cry so much. It just heart. I felt like I'm slowly dying. Is there any more word beyond hurt that would describe how I felt right now. It's unbearable.

Why love can be tragic sometimes? Why??

I unconsciously rub my belly. "I'm sorry baby, I know it's selfish of me but I need to do this or I'll go insane. Mommy has to leave daddy.. She can't bear thinking everyday he's out there to be with someone, and God know's what they are doing. Mommy can't take it anymore. I love your Daddy so much. But when you grow up, you'll understand. I will take care of you and cherish you my whole life, that's a promise." The tears stream down on my cheeks again and I just silently sat there crying until my tears are drained.

I wipe the last tears in my eyes and grab my phone. I dialled Sister Therese number but it kept ringing. I dialled it again and this time she answered it.

"Sister Therese." I choked. I missed her so much. I haven't seen her for long years. The last time we even talk on the phone was when I called her after I was found as a Duchess and I offered her to sponsor the orphanage. That's the last time.

"Clara?" she squealed ecstatically. "I'm glad you call honey! How have you been?" she asked continuously.

"I..I'm.. fi.ne." I replied dragging the words.

"You sound not honey.." she sounded worried and I don't want her to be.

"No. I'm fine.. It's just that.." I trailed off and paused. "I am pregnant!" I declared in the end after a long paused.

"You what? Ohh.. Congratulations honey.. It's going to be a beautiful baby!!" she squealed gleefully, not noticing my solemn tone.

"Can I come to stay?" I asked reluctantly.

"Of course!" she replied almost immediately before my words sunk in her head. " Wait, did you just said stay here? Why? What's going on Clara?" she asked continuously, disturbed.

"It's the baby's father.. He happened to be.. sleeping around." I hardly said biting my bottom lip to stifle the sob that's about to burst out.

"Ohhh I'm sorry Clara. Of course you are welcome to my home. I have a brother who was still looking for a place to stay, he was now occupying the house I just recently bought. He just got a job so he needs an apartment closer to his workplace, so he will vacate anytime soon. If that's fine with you for the meantime leaving with him until he finds a place. You know you can't stay here in the orphanage because the place was small right? My place is pretty decent size so for sure you will be comfortable there than here in the orphanage." She explained ecstatically. I knew she has a brother but I thought he was in the Army send in Afghanistan. I never met him although Sister Therese showed me a picture of him and that was a long time ago. The face was already deleted of my memory.

I remember again the photos. Last night how he look disturbed when Kristela appeared. It's like a broken disk kept replaying in my head. And it's breaking my heart repeatedly, tearing it to pieces. Feeling like adding a salt to a bleeding wound or even beyond that.

I have to leave to think of this situation I am in. Because seeing him would definitely ruined my senses and before I knew it, I will be under his spell again. Melted in his arms just by looking into his eyes, without thinking what he had done wrong.

"No one knew of this plan Sister Therese. I hope we can keep it that way." I will tell Enna when I thought I'm ready to face anyone. For now, all I want is peace and a time to think what I'd do next." I explained further.

"How about your grandfather?" she asked incredulously.

"Not even him. He will for sure drag me back to Russia and even drag Rafael as well and force us to marry. Besides it will be for a short time." I choked. My heart is constricted with the thought of shutting my love ones off my life even for a short time.. especially Rafael.

"When do you think you will arrive here?" she inquired.

"Tomorrow." I replied casually.

"Ok, I will go to my house today and start cleaning the other room for you." she giggled like a schoolgirl. I knew she's happy and I am. She's like my mother. After we said goodbyes and the line went dead, I called a travel agency, and book my ticket to Texas, back to where I grew up, where I learned how cruel life sometimes.

————{{@}}———-

[Rafael POV]

It's already 8:49 at night. I didn't had anything except breakfast. I was so excited to see Bella that I didn't bother to eat out thinking we could eat together and just ordered some food or my crews at the hotel can deliver some food for us. I felt like I'm bouncing as I walked to the elevator. The guard greeted me and I smiled which made him stiffened for a second but smiled back after he composed himself shortly.

Not long, I'm in front of my door. Punching the code as quickest as I could and twist the knob in urgency pushing it open and walk in the dark, empty penthouse.

Did she left? I turned the lights on shutting the door and tossed my suitcase on the coffee table as I loosened my tie, heading to my room.

Maybe she's sleeping.

I walked into my room turning the lights on... The light flooded in my empty room with no hint of her. I felt so disappointed and so raw. I took my coat and tie off tossing it on the bed, and walked out briskly thinking to get something to drink asI'm browsing my phone for her number.

I walked to the kitchen and when I was about to walk to the bar, I saw a white paper on the dining table with the covered food untouched. I felt so weak. I took the white paper and read it, while calling Bella was completely forgotten.

By the time you read this, I'm already gone.

I just realized I can't be with you. I'm not the girl for you and I know you will never be happy with me. So I will let you go and I hope you will let me too. Thank you for everything!

I hope you will find your true happiness as I do!

Clara Bell.

My hands was shaking after I read it. I threw my phone on the wall and banged my fist on the table hard rocking the table, with the plate full of food splattered all over the table and onto the floor. I felt the tears pooled down my cheeks as I felt my whole body melting like a candle, trembling. I though I'm dying. The pain is unbearable.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed painfully. I wailed and wailed like hours and I didn't care.

"This is just a dream.. This is just a dream!!" I kept repeating like a fool as I stood up and walked to the bar. I grab the bottle of rum and swigged it in big gulps not caring with the burning sensation that erupted deep down my throat.

"WHY? Why, I thought we are doing good? I thought you love me? Why Bella????" I cried out leaning my heavy head on the counter slumming the almost empty bottle of rum. I was crying my heart out. I felt so empty. I felt like she took half of me too. I wanted to scream and just scream and scream.. The tears are dried down, I felt numb, my head is heavy and I couldn't barely walk straight. I felt spinning. I tried to at least reach my bed. I kept walking with my wobbly legs and finally to my bed. Dropping it exhaustedly without caring to change and doze off.

———{{@}}——-

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT!!