Sasha Shadows

With the idea kept in mind, I leave the table and head to my bedroom with the hope that the notebook is still lying inside my drawer, awaiting for me to unleash it once again.

It's been weeks since I keep it away to remind myself that these wishes will never, ever come true. Not only that, the title 'IMPOSSIBLE LIST' written in block letters under my messy handwriting also does a great job in persisting my current belief.

Now all I need to do is to copy the whole list up onto the answer bar and share it to me, myself and I. Easy as ABC.

I click my finger at my own genius thought.

Speaking of 'genius', I wonder how Clerence has been doing with the job applying thing. And yup, he is that boy who asked to see the manager this afternoon. And due to my own mistake, I accidentally share the answer worldwide. Luckily, the post's privacy is editable. So it takes me another 2 minutes (there is only 3G internet flowing around here) to make it private.

Phew, what a day. The spinning circle that symbolises 'loading' will definitely drive me crazy when the time has come.

After shutting down, I keep the computer in my school bag before going to clean myself. I have yet to take my second bath for today and I feel dirty for not doing so.

I need to shower now!

***

Clerence Cartwright

The answers presented in front of my eyes are surprising me. There are ten of them which somehow suits the one and only question chosen by the individual.

Now, a number of you might question me about the reason why I'm surprised, right? Thus, this is what I'm going to tell you – because my name is written among the answers. Sure enough, the person who answers this should be my secret admirer.

My thumb presses onto the comment bar as I have an opinion stored in mind: You spelled my name wrongly, dude. It's Cle-, not Cla-.

But it takes 5 minutes until a bar tattooed 'unable to load contents' comes into view. "Damn, she edited the privacy."

Still, my eyes have registered all the ten answers she has written. As quick as I can manage, I exit Facebook and enter my mobile notepad to jot down her wishes. Her wishes. These two words echo in my mind with my own voice.

Shaking the voice off, I type in all the 10 wishes into my notepad and save them. But suddenly, another assumption hits me up: What if the "Clarence" she mentions in the list is someone else, instead of me?

No worries.

Being a hacker by night, this account has become my prey for today. Therefore, I quickly take out my computer before I lose the temptation. It doesn't sound much like a real person's name, so I can't quite extract the identity of the profile owner. Moreover that, her profile picture shows a male anime character from Tokyo Ghoul (I'm an anime trash as well). "Huh, she likes Kaneki." I grumble inwardly.

Unlike me, I barely like anyone in this anime as its genre is extremely psychological and one thing to be precise, it contains angst. And I hate angst.

A city full of ghouls and CCGs presented through anime would be an imaginary place for me. If such place contains hate and negativity, I won't know where I can escape from real life ever again if I am either the author or the audience.

Now back to hacking. Once I've pressed on the "Enter" button after setting everything up, a bar which will soon filled with red as well as a full screen of moving codes appear as a result, signifying that the act will be accomplished successfully if the colour makes it to the end. I watch as the colour increases bit by bit in a slow manner.

Groaning in frustration, I lean onto the soft couch and close my eyes. When those fury eyes are shut, they are as if being showered with cold water which this action somehow becomes one of the solutions for me to calm my nerves down. "Everything will be alright. This will be a successful profile hacking." I can't stop repeating to myself about the same words over and over again.

As soon as I reopen my eyes, a large word marking 'FAILURE' is my answer for tonight.

"Calm down, Clerence, calm down..." I begin to heave in and out several times when my annoying roommate manages to add oil to the fire out of nowhere.

"You're too amateur to be a hacker, bro. Why don't you try to hack the girls' heart in real life instead of doing this shit in front of a lifeless computer?" Such a crappy suggestion.

"Oh shut the fuck up, Williams." I snap when noticing him have already approached me. His muscular, half naked yet partially dry body towers me as he stands beside the couch.

Dominic Williams. One of the listed hot boys alongside with me by the ladies from Dance Club. Brown curly hair with those piercing blue eyes pasted on his handsome face. Two-typed player. 1. With his tall, muscular appearance, plus having beautiful abs and v-line, he often plays with the girls' hearts as if he is the one who pulls the puppet strings. 2. He is a basketball player with incredibly terrible skills, yet he is still adorn by most girls because of his looks.

Disgusting pieces of poops.

That's why I don't give a fucking damn on those bitches. One word can describe them – ludicrous - as I've seen them bullying a girl in the canteen and they fucking felt proud of such juvenile acts.

A flower on the outside, but a piece of smelly trash on the inside. What a shame!

"I can tell how much you despise them since the first day." Dominic tuts while taking a seat beside me, his towelled butt will dampen the cushion and make it smell one day. "What I mean is you can break their hearts as a way to teach them a lesson."

"I'm not like you, Dominic." I admit with my forehead braced with my pyramided fingers.

"It's late, bro. I suggest we go get some sleep." Changing the topic since he knows I won't keep on talking about that, he sends a small pat on my shoulder before leaving me. The watermark staining the sofa makes me frown. "Stop being so hot-tempered, maybe this is one of the reasons that you've lost so many fans." Dominic adds before I can ever get up and dash for his ding-dongs.

That's my fucking nature and I don't think I can change it. "Like I care."

Sighing in defeat, I switch off my laptop and the thought of meeting the bookstore manager tomorrow drives out my whine. But the memory of the counter girl I've met today lightens up my mood surprisingly. It's been a long time since I've ever gotten myself interested to a girl.

A part of me wishes to see her tomorrow.

And I won't forget to glance pass any helpful articles about job interviewing before sleeping.

_____

Today is Saturday.

A day which I can sleep for the whole day in my comfortable bed. Well, not exactly, as this isn't the bed from my real house. But wait a freaking minute-

I have an interview today.

With the manager.

In the bookstore.

Where the girl currently works in.

Keywords shown in my thoughts are the ones sitting me upright this morning. As I register the time on my alarm clock, which has not rung for the day yet, it shows 5.30 a.m.

Life is hard, I know.

With the ceiling fan still spinning, the cool air will be continuously racing around the room and freshening the atmosphere. So I slump back into my warm nest, and dozes off again under my blanket. It will be a waste for this refreshing artificial morning breeze to diffuse into air if I don't strike the good opportunity-

To sleep more.

_____

Not knowing how long I've been continuing my dream, though I'm not really dreaming throughout the process, the sensation of being suffocated to death wakes me up eventually. My chest hurts and I can't breathe. Besides that, I can't move my arms until I recognise the person sleeping behind, with his hands cuddling me as if I am his bolster.

Life is indeed hard, I know.

I can't stop my eye-rolling upon the fact that I'm being cuddled. Plus, I'm being cuddled by a male!

His warm breath lands by the side of my neck which in turn sends shiver down my shoulders. His loud snore is a good alarm clock, but not in this way! Trying my best to crane my head, I manage to see the time presented by the device placed on my bedside table.

Sorry Williams, I have to wake up now.

But as I try to pry away from his arms, he only tightens them up around me. "Williams, I'm not your girlfriend. Stop messing around..." I mumble with my dry throat while repeating the action by force this time. The said boy is still having his eyes closed while his hands cuddled thin air on my bed.

"Don't leave me, Suzy..." Dominic mutters through his sleep as a bead of tear flows down his cheek. Suzy was his girlfriend which he treated her seriously before she dumped him with another boy.

Aside from other people, he only lets me know his true colour as if I'm the best person who can keep his secret. But now, I'm not going to keep it as a secret anymore since it will be revealed by me to you.

The bad boy aura is just his mask to conceal his regretful past. In order to not show his vulnerable side outwards, he prefers to become the villain instead.

"She doesn't deserve your tears buddy..." I whisper while bending down to wipe his tear away with my knuckle. Then, I leave the room with a worried frown, hoping that he would be fine after waking up.

ᵟᵁᴱˢᵀᴵᴼᴺˢ ᴾᴼˢᵀᴱᴰ ᵀᴼ ᴹᴬᴷᴱ ᶠᴿᴵᴱᴺᴰˢ:

1. ᴴᴼᵂ ᴰᴼ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᴴᴵᴺᴷ ᴬᴮᴼᵁᵀ ᶜᴸᴱᴿᴱᴺᶜᴱ ᴬᴺᴰ ᴰᴼᴹᴵᴺᴵᶜ?
2. ᴰᴼ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᴴᴵᴺᴷ ᶜᴸᴱᴿᴱᴺᶜᴱ ᴵˢ ᴿᴱᴬᴸᴸᵞ ᴬ ᴳᴱᴺᴵᵁˢ?

ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᴮᴼᴼᴷ ᴿᴱᴬᶜᴴᴱˢ 28 ᴿᴱᴬᴰˢ ᴵᴺ ᵀᵂᴼ ᴰᴬᵞˢ ᴬᴺᴰ ᴵ'ᴸᴸ ˢᴼ ᴴᴬᴾᴾᵞ ᴬˢ ᴾᴱᴼᴾᴸᴱ ᴬᴿᴱ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴵᴺᴳ ᴵᵀ. ᵂᴴᴬᵀ ᴵ ᵂᴬᴺᴺᴬ ˢᴬᵞ ᴵˢ ᵀᴴᴬᴺᴷ ᵞᴼᵁ ᶠᴼᴿ ˢᵁᴾᴾᴼᴿᵀᴵᴺᴳ ᴬᴺᴰ ᵂᴱ'ᴸᴸ ᴹᴱᴱᵀ ᴬᴳᴬᴵᴺ ᴵᴺ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴺᴱˣᵀ ᶜᴴᴬᴾᵀᴱᴿ.

ᴸᴼᵛᴱ ᵞᴼᵁ ᴬᴸᴸ ˢᵀᴬᴿᴿᵞˢ ᴬᴺᴰ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿˢ 💕💕🎈