Sasha Shadows

I remember the moment when Clerence disappeared in front of my own eyes. At that time, I was hopeless. I was scared. I was worried that I won't have the chance to say the three words to him again. So, that was why I blurted out.

I love you.

At that moment, his face has vanished completely into thin air. As I succumbed into pure sadness and cried on my knees, a weak masculine voice finally responded, "I love you too."

As if something clicked in my mind, I remembered my name. Sasha Shadows. There were three wishes remained. But I was tired of granting them already. Plus, there's no rules saying I had to finish fulfilling the whole list. Therefore, I did the action which I'd never thought would work.

Swallowing hard, I walked pass my room door and out towards the living room. The dark red and black smoke surrounding and swooning outside the house was thickening, as if it was warning me to stay put and do what I should do. Instead of backing off, I open the front door and let in the roaring wind. The wind was hot and I could smell something burning and rotting.

The smell of Hell.

I let the strong, pungent breeze smash on my cheeks when I spoke my full name for three times. Honestly, I learnt this from a Chinese horror comic, where the protagonists had to rush pass a gate and shout their names thrice in order to escape from Hell. I don't know whether it would work for me as a Caucasian, I just did.

My name was spoken loud and clear without fear. My voice echoed throughout the doorway. The wind got stronger as if it was angry. But it didn't stop me from continuing my ultimate plan. I was going to fulfill a very different wish which was not stated on the list - getting out of there.

My house rumbled upon the 'ritual' I'd done. Walls began to break while fire began to swallow the whole building. My heart raced when tears immediately pours out of my eyes due to horror. I thought the plan would not work and I would die being burnt into ashes. However, a beam of white light bathes on me unexpectedly, giving me the reassurance about the right thing I had done.

As a result, I turned away completely from the fire behind me while welcoming the soft light that shone directly at my doorstep, where I was literally standing. Soon, my body began to disappear into shattered crystals when the light drew me upwards and towards somewhere I won't ever knew.

I thought I would forget everything that happened, yet all of them were as clear as fresh water in my mind as I fluttered the eyelids of my own body. As I woke up, my first thought was, indeed, the boy.

"I need water..." I murmured sleepily right at the moment when the nurse opened the door. And then, that was how I was allowed to leave my room with a wheelchair to see him.

I had so much to tell him that I needed to see him right away. Nevertheless, he was the one saying more than me, and thank god, he also remembered everything that had happened.

Blessed was what I felt the most when I listened to what he said, until today, I still feel lucky to see him although our relationship has broken apart.

_____

The sky is painted with purple and pink and orange as the sun begins to set. Grey clouds decorate it with several interesting shapes. Therefore, for this time, I can't really tell what animal they can refer to. "Sasha," here comes the bridegroom, my uncle. "Your friends are here." Following his pointing finger, I turn my head a little degrees to the right alongside with my moving posture and boom, there they are.

"Okay," the word slips through my mouth without any effort as my uncle leaves me after placing a soft pat on my shoulder.The crowd is big. Yet, noises are muted while actions are slowed down, leaving only my beating heart drumming against my ribs with loud thumping sounds. The boys - Clerence - is facing me on the side while Dominic is facing me on the back. So I guess none of them will notice me until I show up in front of them.

But, I'm hesitating. This time, my mind can't stop ghosting with the thoughts which stops my legs from moving towards them. Don't go near him, he hurt you. He's a poisonous flower, touch him and you'll die. He broke your heart, don't you ever see him again.

Stop that, brain.

It won't be a big deal for me to only see him today. Since I have returned to my home, my real home with my family, the chance for him to show up in front of my doorstep or throw tiny little sand at my window is nearing 1%. So, why not?

What if you are not beautiful?

My brain signals the thought again but I ignore it. It is indeed hard to fight with my own self. "Hi guys," I say with a bright smile pasted in front of my hesitant one. "How are you guys doing?" My actions are smooth as I grab a chair to sit with them.

"Hi Sash, you look great today," it is Williams who responds to me. Clerence is extraordinarily busy as he lowers his head and eats his spaghetti quietly. I bet he is avoiding me, but I can just talk to Dominic if he doesn't wish to see me.

"Thank you, Williams. It's a pleasure to see you two," I reply with a smile as the black-flannelled guy elbows the one next to him. Both of their eyebrows knit together because of different reasons and this is so funny.

Clerence's eyes meet mine as he looks up. But he avoids me in an obvious way. His hand sneaks up to cover his face as he whines hopelessly like a cow. "What should I do now?" I can hear him saying through the gap of his hand.

"Apologise to her," Dominic whispers as I snicker.

"Long time no see, Clerence." I start, hoping to talk to him once again, hoping he will respond to my words and voice.

Slowly, he is putting his hand away. His hand shaking badly. He is nervous, I can tell. "Good to see you, Sasha Shadows," he says monotonously before sparing another short glance on me. "You look stunning today."

A giggle vibrates through my throat as I take in his words. Sometimes, he would blurt out everything before he can even filter the meanings. I can see through his startled expression upon his own words.

Although they sound sweet at the moment, such behaviour of his might hurt people's feelings sometimes. And it usually hurts deeply. "Thank you." I answer. "You look smart too."

"What about me?" asks Dominic when both Clerence and I lead out a snort of laughter.

***

Clerence Cartwright

This is so awkward. As I have expected her to not see us among the big crowd, she shows up in front of us instead with a bright smile, as if nothing had ever happened before. Her action catches me off guard and that is why I react in a coward way.

"I'll give you 90% for your outfit and style," Sasha comments with a giggle when a genuine, but silly smile creeps up onto Doc's face. The smile makes him look like a 5-year-old child who has asked for an ice-cream and gotten the request approved by his guardian.

Seeing the both of them smiling to each other rises a pinch of jealousy which might turn me mad in seconds. As a result, my hand clamps around her wrist when she is what I'm craving for at the moment. "Can we have a minute, Doc?" Usually, I won't even ask for permission before leaving my friend alone. Thus, my action leads out his slightly shocked face.

"S-sure, no problem. If you won't mind, I'll finish your food for you," he says while I nod.

"Just finish it for me, thank you." And there I half-drag the girl towards the corner of the mighty white building, where there are less people roaming around.

The next step I do is a little bit cliche, yet she still does not aware of it. As I cage her by the wall using one of my arms, the surprised elements could all be found on her parted lips and innocent eyes.

Kiss her.

My thought is simple. But I won't rush this. "We need to talk," I finally start.

"What can we talk about?" she asks, looking away from my eyes, avoiding me. "We fight all the time. Both of us are like crashed cars - we fought, we crashed, we broke." she says metaphorically, which is what I like about her. "Cars need the spare parts to get fixed, but what about our broken hearts? There is no going back in mending the cracks. Even the word 'sorry' acts like a tiny little plaster which cannot heal the other hurting parts of my soul-"

Her words are cut off when I cup her cheeks and turn her head so that we can face each other, eye-to-eye. "Please give me a chance, Sash." I say softly towards her ears as her shoulders shudder upon my ghosting breath.

"I... am scared, Cler," she admits while tears begin to ruin the make-up on her face. "What if we can't?"

Saying nothing, I pull her into my embrace. Her small frame is shaking, breaking my heart. It is my fault for not able to give her what she wants - communication. All she has wanted is this simple, simple thing. Yet, I can't even do it.

As this is not even an IMPOSSIBLE wish of hers, it makes me feel more shameful for failing her all the time. I have to stop focusing on looking superior or I'll lose almost everything.

She has taught me a lot, and this could be the chance for me to start over again, with her. "Don't cry," I mutter while she sniffles in my gentle hug. "I'd been so focused on my own ego and feelings that I shut down all the words coming from you. I was too arrogant and stubborn and I hate that kind of my attitude. That kind of me is so disgusting and I can even feel it right now. I am putting my ego aside for you and me. Let's get through our lives together because I just can't live without-"

And she kisses me on the cheek before breaking the embrace to look at me. "Shut up," and there she shows the you-are-forgiven-but-I-am-still-mad look through her pout. "You are blurting out everything, I am glad but you need to rest." Soon, the church bell rings when it is time. "C'mon, the wedding is about to start." She wipes the tears hastily and thank god, her make-up is water-proofed.

Sealing my lips until only a thin line is shown, I nod while both of our fingers intertwine. I'm not sure whether we are officially together already or not, but a smile brightens up my face when I taste the feeling of success and happiness.

Thank you, Sasha. 

ᴴᴵ ᴳᵁᵞˢ, ᴵ ᴬᴹ ˢᴼ ˢᴼᴿᴿᵞ ᶠᴼᴿ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴰᴱᴸᴬᵞ 😭😭 ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᴵˢ ᵀᴴᴱ ᶠᴿᴱˢᴴ ᴺᴱᵂ ᶜᴴᴬᴾᵀᴱᴿ ᶠᴼᴿ ᵞᴼᵁ.  ᴰᴼ ᶠᴱᴱᴸ ᶠᴿᴱᴱ ᵀᴼ ᴿᴱᴬᴰ ᴵᵀ ᴬᶠᵀᴱᴿ ˢᵀᴿᴱᴬᴹᴵᴺᴳ ᴮᴼᵞ ᴵᴺ ᴸᵁᵛ 😅💕

ᴾˢ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴸᴬˢᵀ ᶜᴴᴬᴾᵀᴱᴿ ᴵˢ ᴺᴱᴬᴿᴵᴺᴳ...