Dominic Williams

"Cartwright," I call from the living room when I'm working on my hacking system. "Could you please get me a glass of water?" Knowing that this kid usually puts on his earphone when having his alone time in the room, I prefer to shout. But much to my surprise, nothing answers my call. Not even a single hum or wood-knocking sound. Usually, he will respond within 2 seconds. "Clerence?" Being surrounded with doubt, I get onto my feet and walk towards the quiet room with my lightest step. Feeling the waves of nervousness that begin to make me dizzy and my stomach churn.

Now that I remember, he'd told me about sleeping early after Sasha's case. Clerence must be sleeping by then. But still, my hand reaches to the door knob and turns it. In a meantime, I also try my very best to ensure the silence which will keep him secured in dreams.

As the door creaks to a gap, I take a peep inside the dim room. Apparently, everything here is peaceful and calm when I see Clerence's sleeping figure lies in front of me. The idea of making him my bolster tonight rises in my head again before an excited smile creeps onto my face.

Thus, I quickly retreat to the living room to shut down my laptop. Then, I rush to the washroom to clean myself. It takes less than 10 minutes for me to finish all these daily routines before I put on my sleeping pants without my shirt on. After making sure that all the electric sources are off, I eventually enter Clerence's room and just as I'm about to lift his blanket, the smell of blood attacks my nostril out of the blue.

The smell is getting thicker under the air-conditioned environment, making my heart beat quicker than usual. "Oh no, please don't do anything stupid, Cartwright..." I mutter while walking towards the light source and switch it on. Indeed, under the shining light source, I can see his face pale as white paper. His lips are a shade of green. "Please." And I grab onto the edge of his blanket and reveal his bloody wrist.

Shit.

***

Saxxx Shadows

The both of us are now standing in my siblings' room, watching my family. As it is already midnight, my siblings have fallen asleep with snores and sweet dreams. Lines of saliva illustrate their chins, showing how comfortable they are in bed right now.

"Your brothers are so cute," Clerence breaks the silence with this unexpected praise when I pull myself back from my stream of thoughts, because I'm currently fascinated by how the pair of us can still travel back to my old house with me not remembering my own name.

"They sure are," I smile while sweeping the bangs which are about to cover my eyes. "But I would call them little devils as you won't want to know about their true colours when they wake up." My reminder leads out the boy's laugh.

"Boys," he giggles. "When we are kids, we are little devils. But when we are grown-"

"You are gods." And the two of us burst out laughing. Since my mind flashes the image of the other three boys, whom appear to be Clerence's friends as well, I suppose this answer explains everything I feel about them if I have to go near them. Like right now. "Girls, huh?" I mumble sarcastically as the other boy gives me a knowing hum.

"But I know you are not like them," he clarifies, which eventually sends butterflies flying in my stomach. Meanwhile, I can't help wondering how long have I been away from feeling such feelings. How long have I been stuck within the realm of despair? How long have I forget that I'm not actually alone? "You are Saxxx Shadows. Even your last name makes you sound unique, if I shall say."

Stop that, Cartwright. You are taking my breath away.

"I'm happy to hear that." I answer, a little awkwardly before turning towards the door. "I'm going to see my mum, do you wanna follow?"

And with a shrug, he paces towards me and says, "Sure." Unconditionally, this boy is slowly putting me back to shape by picking up the pieces of my broken heart. With him following me since then, I feel, somehow, not empty anymore.

Not long after, we penetrate through the room door and half-drift up the stairs. The walls are decorated with frames of photographs, showing how happy our family was once.

Through the corner of my eye, I can see the boy being bombarded with curiosity as he glances at the photographs with a look of interest. As for me, I can't stop taking my eyes away from those pictures before my heart is about to be shredded again.

Sweet memories would always taste soury when you are currently at my state.

Soon, we are now standing outside the master bedroom. Under the bath of dim yellow light, the room door is shut. However, the light is still lit inside, indicating that either my mother or my father hasn't gone to bed yet.

Again, we walk through the wooden door only to see my mother leaning against the headboard of the bed, which she uses to share with my father. Literally, she is staring longingly at a photo of me... and my grandfather.

As identical as the photo kept in my broken photo frame back home, this photo shows the picture of the little me. "Saxxx," she murmurs sadly while her other free hand begins to dial the old phone number of mine.

The number you have dialed is unusable...

"Where are you?" she asks while facing the ceiling, her question meets with silence. Tears run down her eyes when she bends over to the table lamp and set the photograph aside alongside with her phone.

My mother, who'd told me not to come back if I ever leave this place, has been missing me tonight. Or every night.

A rush of bitterness rises in beneath my chest until my throat stings. I clamp my hand to my mouth while trying to suppress myself from sobbing in regret. In a meantime, I almost forget Clerence's existence until he offers me his warm hug at this very moment.

"Cry, Saxxx, cry," his murmur sounds like a spell as I begin to sob in his lap. "You'll feel better." He soothes while patting the back of my head gently, making me feel protected.

"I'm s-such a b-bad girl..." I stammer like an old lady who has just recovered from stroke. At this moment, the boy says nothing but he continues to pat soft on my head until I stop crying. My mother has fallen asleep, but her eyebrows are knitted. "My mum is not sleeping well..." I mutter with a pout when Clerence breaks the embrace and converts the skinship to my little hand. Now that our fingers are intertwined.

"Regret?" I nod upon his question. "That's my good girl." And he kisses me on the lips before I can ever know.

ᵟᵁᴱˢᵀᴵᴼᴺˢ ᴾᴼˢᵀᴱᴰ ᵀᴼ ᴹᴬᴷᴱ ᶠᴿᴵᴱᴺᴰˢ:

1. ᵂᴵᴸᴸ ˢᴬˢᴴᴬ ᴳᴼ ᴴᴼᴹᴱ ᴬᶠᵀᴱᴿ ˢᴱᴱᴵᴺᴳ ᵀᴴᴵˢ? ᵂᴴᵞ? ᴴᴼᵂ?
2. ᴴᴼᵂ ᴰᴼ ᵞᴼᵁ ᵀᴴᴵᴺᴷ ᴬᴮᴼᵁᵀ ᵀᴴᴵˢ ᵀᵂᴼ?
ᴾ. ˢ. ᴵ ᴷᴺᴼᵂ ᵀᴴᴬᵀ ᴵᵀ ᴵˢ ᵟᵁᴵᵀᴱ ˢᴸᴼᵂ ᵀᴼ ᴹᴬᴷᴱ ᵀᴴᴱᴹ ᵀᴼᴳᴱᵀᴴᴱᴿ ᴬˢ ᴵᵀ'ˢ ᴬᴸᴿᴱᴬᴰᵞ ᶜᴴᴬᴾᵀᴱᴿ 20🤣

ᵀᴴᴬᴺᴷ ᵞᴼᵁ ᶠᴼᴿ ˢᴾᴱᴺᴰᴵᴺᴳ ᵞᴼᵁᴿ ᵀᴵᴹᴱ ᴴᴱᴿᴱ. ᴵ ᴴᴼᴾᴱ ᵞᴼᵁ ᴴᴬᵛᴱ ᴬ ᴳᴿᴱᴬᵀ ᴰᴬᵞ ᴬᴴᴱᴬᴰ 💕 ˢᴱᴱ ᵞᴬ ᴵᴺ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴺᴱˣᵀ ᵁᴾᴰᴬᵀᴱ (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)◞