The building was cold and I sat on the plush leather couch waiting for my name to be called while I flipped through a copy of a magazine. It was the magazine for the company I was working for.

New York has some of the best comedy clubs. But the bottom rock is the best of the best. You will find young fresh talented comedians that are not afraid to speak their minds. -Jack Bryce.

To be in love with someone and to think that you are in love are two completely different things. I've sat down with a few experts who shed some light on the difference between the two.-Camilla Crawford.

Live the lifestyle you've always dreamt of. Life is too short and you should have no regrets. So go on that vacation and buy that dream home. -Nick Ortega.

I sighed. I've now dreamed of Nick two nights in a row. He haunted my day and night time. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else wrong with the way Nick spoke to me.

It didn't make sense for someone to be so nice and then suddenly flip a switch and be horrible. There was either something mentally wrong with him or maybe I was taking the rejection badly.

Julia's office door opened and she came out with another one of her clients. She was a petite blonde girl and she was balling her eyes out. Julia was rubbing her back soothingly. "You take care now Phoebe. I'll see you next week." The girl nodded and choked out a hysterical okay before walking over to the elevator.

"Good morning Valerie," Julia greeted. She was dressed in her classic pencil skirt and white blouse.

I put the magazine down on the coffee table and walked into her office. I sat down on the couch and she came in after me and took a seat on her desk chair. "So how was your week?"

"I got a job."

"That's incredible, where?"

"Live Laugh Love magazine," I smiled.

She cleared her throat and I realized it was now time to address the elephant in the room. "How have you been sleeping this past week?"

"About that," I sat up straight. "Remember I spoke to you about a man that appears before I die. He gets murdered too and I don't see his face?" She nodded. "Well, it's the second night in a row now that I'm seeing my coworker as this man."

"Uh-huh," Julia drawls out. "Tell me Valerie how well have you gotten to know this coworker this past week?"

"We've spoken a total of four times. Three out of four times he was so nice and charming and then suddenly when I tried to speak to him last night he was rude which I found strange because I don't recall doing anything to offend him."

"Were you upset when he was rude?"

"Yes I drank an entire bottle of champagne and then I cried myself to sleep," I admitted.

"In most workplaces, it is common to have a little office crush as well as get involved with a coworker. Did you start to develop feelings for him?"

I slumped sitting back on the couch as I crossed my legs. "I can't explain it. I know it's too soon. Four times to talk to someone and then I already feel like I know him. I'm so happy when I see him it's silly I know."

Julia began scribbling notes on her notepad. "And your relationships in the past?"

"I've had one boyfriend."

Julia smiled. "Just the one. Any other side relations?"

"I've only ever kissed two men. My best friend Ben and my ex."

"Your best friend. Are you still very good friends with him?"

"Yes. We've been inseparable from the time we were five." Julia looked up at me curiously and I knew the next question that was formulating in her mind.

Why didn't Ben and I just date?

On paper, it made perfect sense for us to be together. We were compatible. Our families liked each other. Why couldn't we be together? Because no matter how good it sounded it didn't quite feel all that right. We were a perfect match but not fitting puzzle pieces.

I spent the last hour telling Julia about my love life. It was short and not much to elaborate on. She found it strange that I could easily get over a two-year relationship but get so hurt when a coworker I've only known for a week was rude.

She was my therapist and even she was stumped about everything. I kind of felt bad for her. She was very good but I could see it weighed on her that she couldn't crack the code that was my mind.

After the session, I stood and Julia showed me out of her office. I took the lift down to the ground floor and began walking to my apartment.

I decided to cut through an alleyway since it would be a short cut. It was dingy; muck all over the floor. Stray funny-looking cats. A weird odor that made my eyes roll back into my skull. I pulled my shirt over my nose as I watched where I stepped.

I heard a bell chiming loudly and all the hair on my body picked up as I raised my head to listen for it again. I shut my eyes tightly as the sound sent shivers through my body. I didn't like the sound of bells.

Nonetheless, my feet acted on their own accord and began moving towards the sound. As I crossed the street the sound got louder and I turned the corner to see a large cathedral on the side of the road.

People were lined up outside and a man in a suit greeted them before they walked in. The man suddenly picked his head up from greeting the congregation. I watched as the last person in that line walked into the church and then the man waved me over.

I looked around to ensure that he was calling me and no one else. I walked over to the church. I've never been inside a cathedral before. "Hello, sister. I see you've heard our bells. Please don't be shy join us," the man smiled. He was quite elderly. White hair covered his face and head. His eyes were murky with age and he was dressed smartly in a black suit.

I shook the man's hand and he gestured for me to walk into the church. My family wasn't religious. My father is a scientist after all. As I walked up the church and passed the door I noticed a small metallic cup structure filled with water.

Holy water.

I walked through the church's door and took a seat at the back. At the front of the church were two statues. One of the virgin Mary and across from her Jesus Christ. At the front of the church, there was oval stain glass depicting a setting sun and Jesus standing in front of it. Candles lined up a long table at the front.

Suddenly the door opened and a choir walked in. All of them were dressed in white. As they walked down the long aisle they began singing and everyone rose from their seats. I did the same.

I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket and I ignored it purposely. I stayed in the church until the priest preached his sermon. I felt a lot more calmer after my first ever church service.

I left and by the door, the elderly gentlemen bid me a farewell and told me to come back again next week. I rushed back to my apartment on the account of my stomach embarrassingly growling.

Even in the silent church, it growled and I hoped no one heard it. The last meal I had was lunch which was yesterday. I ran up the stairs and began fishing my keys out of my pants pocket. I put the key in the door and turned it but it didn't move.

Did I forget to lock the door?

I pushed the door open and grabbed my pepper spray from my back pocket. I lived in this shit hole of course I had pepper spray in my back pocket. I walked into my apartment and I heard rustling coming from the kitchen area. I turned my head and saw Ben at the sink.

"Oh, it's you," I breathed in relief and threw the pepper spray and keys to the table.

He smiled. "I'm glad you carrying the pepper spray. I've been trying to call you since last night. I found a Champaign bottle on the floor with a bunch of snotty tissues." I looked around my apartment and saw it was clean. "You haven't eaten either. No dishes in the sink or take out boxes in the trash."

"Seriously to break into my apartment and clean it is one thing Benjamin but to look in my trash," I laughed.

"Nevermind that why haven't you been returning my calls?"I sighed. I didn't want to discuss my shitty evening with Ben. Plus I didn't want him to feel sorry for me that Nick rejected me.

"I was drunk. Too much champagne." I moved over to my closet to get a pair of sweatpants. I hated wearing jeans or anything tight when I didn't have to.

"I was worried about you. Where were you?"

"I went for my morning session and then I went to church." I turned to catch his reaction and he looked more confused than ever.

"You went to church?" He repeated.

"Yep." His eyes widened and I could see the look of awe behind them. Oh what a scandal it would be if the news ever reached my family and their friend's ears.

Dr. Enrique Hudson's daughter in a church. Her father a reputable man of science and she a believer in the divine.

I've always told my father science couldn't explain everything and then he would argue and say neither could religion.

Ben took a step towards me."Val talk to me. Don't shut me out."

I turned away from him. "Ben you don't have to deal with this. Whatever is bothering me... it's my problem."

"Well it is my problem too Valerie," he sounded angry. "You my best friend and I can't look at you like this. Not eating. Drinking and crying."

"Ben," I sighed, holding onto my aching head. What could I say to make him understand. Him knowing wouldn't make my situation much easier.

We went silent for a while and just stared at each other. Ben's eyes trying to read me. "I'm going to get breakfast for us." He ran a hand through his hair as he looked around for his car keys. After finding them he came to stand in front of me and left a long lingering kiss on my forehead. "Understand that you can't make me not care about you."

"I know," I sighed looking up at him.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I love you."

"Love you too."

He flicked my nose and smiled. "I'll be back," he said and walked out of the apartment.

I fell back on my bed and looked up at my ceiling. Even though everything seemed to be in shambles. I was glad I had Ben but I had to ask myself for how long. One day he would meet a beautiful girl and fall helplessly in love and then he would forget about me.

Even though he'd forget me I wanted it for him. He deserved it. He was my best friend and so much more. Sometimes I didn't appreciate him enough for sticking by me.

Ben arrived later with the food and I felt ten times better after eating. He bought me Chinese take out and a tub of my favorite double chocolate ice cream.

All the things I discussed about Ben with Julia came back and then I questioned myself. Why was it that I couldn't fall in love with Ben. He clearly cared for me. It would be the classic romance I've read about in books and seen in movies. The boy next door.

But my complicated self had to choose to be attracted to Nick. When he clearly stated loud and clear, practically confessed it to the moon and stars that he would never be interested in me.

Ben's chuckling brought me out of my deep thoughts. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm thinking."

He smirked."Penny for your thoughts."

"Nope too weird," I breathed patting my stomach. I was stuffed but I couldn't stop eating the icecream.

"I like weird," Ben wiggled his eyebrows.

"That's because you are weird."

"Then it wouldn't be weird to my ears if you told me because I'm weird," he smiled victoriously.

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed. "Shut up."

"You looking a lot better," he smiled.

"I do feel a bit better. Thank you for everything Ben. I don't think I tell you enough but I appreciate everything you've done and do for me."

"Val please don't talk like that because it scares me."

"Scares you how?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"It just gives me an unsettling feeling as if you saying goodbye to me."

I smiled at him. "What happens one day when you get married, Ben?"

He looked up in thought and then his face broke out into a smile. "If I'm not marrying you, Val. I don't see the point of marriage."

I laughed. "Stop goofing around I'm being serious."

"And so am I," he smirked. "Unless I find someone else like you which is a long shot Val cause you once in a lifetime." Tears pricked my eyes and I just felt emotional suddenly. "Oh, no wait shit don't cry. Please I can't take it when you cry," he moved over to me and wrapped his arm around me. He wiped away my tears with his open palm and I rested my head on his shoulder.

I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. He held out his pinky. "Best friends forever?" He asked and I laughed through the tears and smiled at him fondly, remembering the memory of when I was a little girl asking him if he would be my best friend forever and he said yes. I didn't believe it at that time and I made him pinky swear which he did.

I ruffled his hair and locked my pinky with his. "Forever Benjamin."