"I deserve much more than that," Nick smiled and rubbed his cheek. I on the other hand was in no mood. I was furious.

"Why Nick. Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded and he sat on his desk.

"I was protecting you."

I scoffed. "Protecting me or letting me believe I was losing my entire bag of marbles. You know what Nick. You don't get to decide what I know and don't know. Do you hate me because we die every time we together is that it?"

"No I don't hate you," he stood up and came over to me. He bent down in front of me. "I love you." He cupped my cheek rubbing his thumb over the tears I didn't know spilled. I leaned into his touch and stared longingly into his ocean eyes. "I love you enough to be away from you even if it means I'll be miserable for as long as my soul continues." I sniffled and he pulled me into a hug placing a long lingering kiss on my forehead.

As if it was an instinct my arms wrapped around his waist and I rest my cheek against his chest. A mist of calm settled over me as I stood in his arms. "So what we just can't be together is that it?" I asked. My head felt heavy nothing made sense the strong feelings I had for Nick or the situation we were in. "Is that how we avoid the curse by staying away?"

"Yes but it's not that simple. The curse pushes us together at every turn. We've tried everything. From marrying different people to seeking out witches. But I've realised that this is the only way you don't die painfully and at the hands of someone but you die peacefully and after you've lived a long fulfilling life."

If we died every time we were together then it was only a matter of time."How long do we have before we die?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I don't know," he ran his hand through his hair. "It's unpredictable because in the end, it is a person that's after us."

"But who would want to kill us?" I asked.

"Men that want you and women that want me," he shrugged.

"Oh, that just narrows it down to every single woman in this building for you."

"And every man on this planet that has eyes, for you then." He smiled

I couldn't believe he was smiling at a time like this. "You smiling I'm glad you find the situation whimsical when someone can storm in here right now with a gun and blast our brains out our skulls."

He laughed causing my face to take a long hard pause and question his mental health. "Don't be angry with me if they do. I tried to stay away."

"Why would I be angry?"

He pulled me towards him and made me sit on the chair while he sat on his desk."It's never easy telling you this..." he trailed.

"We got bigger problems at hand whatever it is you can tell me."

He let out a long breath. "It was my mother that cursed us."

"What the fuck!" I scrambled to my feet.
"Your mother why?"

"You have no idea how many times I apologized to you because of this." He put his hand over his mouth as if to stop himself from confessing.

"Why would your mother do this why would she curse us?"

He dropped his hand. "How much can you remember?" He asked.

"Nothing that gives me any vital information as to how we got put in this situation. I feel like it's there but I can't reach it. Like there is a lock and it's annoying me because I'm so confused."

"Well since you don't have all your memories and can't wait for them all to come back. I'll tell you this for the sixty-seventh time."

"You've told me this story sixty-seven times?" The breath got caught in my throat. Sixty-seven times did that mean sixty-seven lifetimes. I tried not to open that door for now. I'd come back to how old my soul was once I got the crutches of my mind back.

"The first time we met was at a marketplace in Bibury eighteen fifty-three. Do you remember that?" He asked and I tried to recall the flashes I saw in my head but it was like a bad hazy video, heavily pixilated and distorted. It was like my old tv, static.

"I can't... but I'm sure it's there it's just being pushed back maybe..." I drawled clutching my head and he took my hand.

"It's okay. I'll tell you," he smiled down at me brushing my knuckles over with his thumb. "You were so brilliant telling off the vendor for trying to hustle you and your mother into buying overly ripe vegetables," he laughed, "I was a young tailor trying to make a name for myself other than dirty orphan no one knows where he came from. But when you looked at me and smiled you had my heart and then when your mom left you alone for a few minutes I knew I had to speak to you. You were the only person that didn't look at me like I was a poor man. You looked only at my face and not the way I was dressed. We spoke and I was awed by your intelligence," I could feel my cheeks turning red, "Our love story cannot be defined as complicated because the term doesn't do it justice. I asked your parents for permission to marry you and they refused because I was an orphan with little to no money. We would manage to sneak time away together forgetting that we didn't have all the time in the world and then it was your twentieth birthday and your parents were scared if you didn't get married you'd end up a poor spinster the community frowned upon. They feared people would talk badly about the family if they couldn't marry off their eldest daughter. You were so angry you refused and then Nathaniel Annesley showed up," he said the name with a snarl and clenched fists. "He was significantly older and you were repulsed but your parents decided to accept the marriage proposal whether you wanted it or not. Time passed and it was your wedding day. Your brother was a good man he came to me that morning practically begging me to take you away of course he didn't have to beg I was going to find a way to stop the ceremony but the plan your brother came up with to disappear without creating a scene seemed better. We managed to escape but then in the woods, your boorish fiance caught us with his and your family. The witch... my mother," he clenched his jaw, "she cursed us before Nathaniel could kill us."

The memories started coming back it was just like my nightmares only they were memories. I could remember a very crucial detail. I was in a wedding dress and Nick was there. The woman screamed kill the bastard which brought me to question if she knew she had just sentenced her own flesh and blood to a hell on earth. "But how did you find out she was your mother?" I asked.

Nick ran a hand through his hair. His blue eyes looked troubled. For the first time, I saw how much pain they held. He kept in a lot and I wondered if he had anyone to share all of this with. I wondered if he had a Ben. "When we were born again and we met we were both so confused but we knew each other. The memory of our first life was so fresh in our heads. Well mine, you couldn't remember much. This time I was born into a wealthy family in Scotland so I went back to Bibury and swayed the orphanage into letting me check the records. My birthday was the day I was registered in the orphanage by a man by the initials C. A. I didn't have a name so the couple that ran the orphanage gave me the name Matthew Blythe.

So many years had passed that talking about how I ended to be in the orphanage was harmless and wouldn't bring shame to any prestigious family. It would be useless information. They told me the name of the man that brought in a baby on August tenth was Mr. Cedric Annesley. Naturally, I was confused so I went to Annesley's manor to get the truth straight out of the horse's mouth, but he was dead and so was his son and the witch.

I found a chambermaid that had been working for the Annesley family for over forty years. I told her I was a historian writing a book and looking for inspiration. I placed a bag of gold coins in front of her and she sang like a canary telling me every nitty-gritty detail. She told me how when the witch came to the house as Mr. Annesley's new bride she was already pregnant with another man's child.

That Mr. Annesley was completely taken by her beauty and that he wanted her as a wife the moment he saw her. She then told me how when the baby was born Mr. Annesley took him away and didn't allow anyone to see him. He then came back and claimed the child to be dead.

The witch was driven mad and Mr. Annesley refused to let her see her dead babe but had him cremated. I asked the maid if she knew the date of this and she recalled my birthday August tenth. She then told me it was such a time where the Annesley's were so powerful that they got what they wanted without question. Of course, I could imagine Cedric didn't want another man's child as his son so he faked my death and placed me in an orphanage."

I started blinking rapidly as I heard Nick recall everything. It was like a rush like I drank ten cans of red bull and ate ten candy bars. I could feel my eye twitch as I felt the mental lock on my brain click open once more.

It was worse than I thought and then the voices in my head started. It sounded like Nick's voice and he was calling all these random names. Ella, Ruth, Beth, Jane, Catherine... he called and I saw flashes of his face in my head.

I clutched my head that felt like it was about to implode. The lines between what was happening before my eyes and in my head were getting blurry. "This is insane what kind of a world do we live in, curses, reincarnation, and witches," I stumbled back. The pain was unbearable and I cried. "What next," I laughed like a lunatic, "is a leprechaun going to show up and claim to be our fucking love child?" I ran a hand down my face as everything started to go blurry and the sounds of gunshots and flesh ripping open rang in my skull in a sickening symphony making my ears feel hot and eardrums vibrate.

Nick put his hands on my shoulders. "Breathe you having a panic attack," he said.

Was I having a panic attack? Or a reality check.

"I'm sorry-" I said and my legs felt weak as I stumbled around his office like a confused animal. Nick caught me and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel my body shaking. "I'm so sorry it's not your fault-" I tried to say and touched his beautiful face. He kissed the inside of my palm and the room started spinning. Someone must have turned the lights off because it was suddenly dark and I felt as light as a feather.

"Valerie," was the last name I heard being called.