"Sometimes even your self can not be trusted." -jazlykdat

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Pakiramdam ni Lianna ay nakatitig sa kanya si Vaughn. Pero ayaw niyang mag-angat ng tingin. She's afraid he might not be looking at her, masasaktan lang siya.

At bakit naman ito titingin sa kanya?

Mag-iisip ng paraan para pahirapan siya?

Napailing siya sa naisip. She's becoming too judgmental of him again. Ganitong-ganito din siya noon sa asawa. She never gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Where did it lead them?

Ayaw na niyang maulit ang nangyari noon. She had to stop interpreting his actions. Baka naman wala talaga itong masamang intensyon.

Masakit lang kasing isipin na ang masasayang nangyari noon ay hindi na maaaring maulit. But until he drives her away, hinding-hindi siya aalis na lang basta kahit gaano man kasakit.

She's not a masochist. She just thinks her kids deserve a whole family, kahit pa masaktan siya sa lahat ng pinapakita ni Vaughn araw-araw.

Every kid deserves a whole family and every parent has that inherent responsibility to provide a family that's whole to their children. Masakit man, that's what should parents do, sacrifice their own happiness for their kids.

She doesn't want her children to become rebellious dahil lang sa hindi buo ang pamilya nila. While it is true that her children are intelligent at marunong ng umintindi sa sitwasyon pero mga bata pa rin sila. Maaaring maintindihan nila ang sitwasyon but she is sure that deep inside every child's heart, whose parents were separated, ay ang pagnanais na sana ipinaglaban man lang ng mga magulang nila na mabuo ang pamilya nila.

Kahit noong nasa Davao pa sila, she's been thinking about that. She's so afraid that the situation might turn her children to become delinquent and rebellious. Kahit pa gaano kalaking pagmamahal at pagpapaliwanag ibigay niya, it will never cover up their need of a father.

And now that she was given this chance na maaari pang mabuo ang pamilya nila, she's never giving up.

She was oblivious of time. Parang ang tagal na nila sa loob ng restaurant. Paunti-unti lang kasi ang kain niya pero naubos na pala niya ang dalawang servings.

She looked at Vaughn. Nakatutok ito sa hawak nitong phone.

Kaya naman pala hindi nagsasalita kanina pa, may ka-chat yata o ka-text.

Her heart twinged.

Paano pala kung may iba na itong minamahal? And he was just civil enough not to drag her away?

She inhaled deeply. No. Unless he tells her, she'll never assume that.

She wanted to avert her gaze when he looked at her but it was too late. Nakita na siya nitong nakatitig sa kanya habang kinakalikot ang cell phone nito. Pinanindigan na lamang niya ang pagtingin rito.

"I was just checking on the kids," saad nito. Lianna wasn't able to grasp what he said until he raised his phone.

Why is he explaining?

Dahil ba sa nahuli siya nitong nakatuon ang pansin sa ginagawa nitong pagte-text?

Hindi naman niya kailangang mag-explain.

But she was thankful na nagpaliwanag ito lumuwag kasi ang dibdib niya dahil alam niyang hindi ibang babae ang ka-text nito.

"They went shopping and ate lunch. Pauwi na daw sila." Hayag nito.

Napatango na lamang siya.

"You wanna go somewhere else or balik na rin tayo doon?"

"Let's just go home," she answered curtly. Vaughn stared at her for a moment.

"Home? To my parents' house?" tanong ulit nito.

"Saan pa ba?" Lianna's forehead creased.

"I thought so," Vaughn said shrugging.

"Tara na?" saad nito at tumayo na. Tumayo na rin siya at sumunod dito.

Vaughn walked with his hands on his pockets. Siya naman ay nasa tabi lang nito habang naglalakad. Parang gusto niyang kumapit sa mga braso nito para sumabay sa paglalakad pero nahiya siya.

Napatungo siya nang mapansing nakangiti sa kanya ang kasalubong nilang lalaki. She doesn't know why she feels awkward whenever a stranger smiles at her widely. She thinks it's weird kaya yumuyuko na lamang siya kapag gano'n.

Bigla siyang nag-angat ng tingin nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Vaughn na humawak sa kamay niya at hinila siya palapit rito.

She gave him a questioning look when he stared at her.

"Just making sure. Baka kasi mawala ka," he mumbled in her ear. Her heart thumps faster. What does he mean?

"I bet you wouldn't know where to find my parents' house if you get lost," dagdag nito na nagpabagal sa tibok ng puso niya. Parang bigla itong nag-preno.

Akala niya ay iba na ang ibig sabihin nito sa "Baka kasi mawala ka", literal pa lang mawala ang ibig nitong sabihin.

He didn't let go of her hand hanggang sa marating nila ang sasakyan.

Nadatnan nila sa living room ang apat. The old folks are seated comfortably on the sofa habang pinapanood ang dalawang bata na nakaupo sa sahig at magkaharap sa center table.

Liam is assembling something. Lianna suspects it's a jet. Vanna is also assembling a puzzle.

"How's your date?" salubong ng ina ni Vaughn pagkakita sa kanila. Nahihiya siyang sumagot kaya hindi na lamang siya nagsalita. Hindi naman kasi siya sigurado kung date iyon.

"Mom!" saway agad ni Vaughn sa ina nito.

So, hindi talaga iyon date. She inhaled deeply. Lumapit siya sa dalawang matanda at nagbigay galang. The kids also get up to kiss them on the cheek.

She sat on the single couch.

"Seems like you bought an entire boutique."

She felt awkward when Vaughn sat on the arm rest of the couch at inakbayan siya. Nang tumingala siya ay nakita niyang nakangiti ito sa mga magulang nito. His parents just laugh at him.

She can feel his hand on her shoulder.

Is he putting up a show?

"Lianna, did you bring a swim wear? We'll go to the beach tomorrow."

Napatingin siya sa ina ni Vaughn. The old woman waited for her answer. Napailing na lamang siya.

"Well, you have to buy one, dear." Nakangiti nitong saad.

"Okay po. I'll just buy when we get there," nahihiya niyang tugon sa ina ng asawa.

"I'm afraid there's no shop there." The old woman smiled.

"We'll go to your private resort, mom?" tanong ng katabi niya. Parang napahiya pa siya. It didn't cross her mind na maaaring pribadong resort ang pupuntahan nila.

"Yeah. So, if I were you samahan mo na lang siyang bumili ngayon na." nakangiti nitong sagot kay Vaughn.

"Okay," Vaughn answered right away at tumayo na. Napatayo na rin tuloy siya. Kararating lang nila, lalabas na naman sila. But she doesn't want to protest against her mother-in-law.

"But you have to change clothes first," baling ni Vaughn sa kanya.

"Anong change clothes?" his mom asked with a chuckle. They both looked at her.

"No, Lianna. You look stunning in that dress. Huwag ka nang magpalit." Natatawa nitong saad. Tumayo pa ito at tinapik siya sa balikat.

"Mom!" Vaughn protested pero tumawa lang ang ginang at itinulak na sila paalis ng sala.

Vaughn stared at her pero kalaunan ay naglakad din palabas ng bahay at hinila na siya sa kamay.

There was an awkward silence between them. Pansin niya ang panaka-nakang pagsulyap ni Vaughn sa suot niya. Sana nagpalit na lang siya ng damit.

When they went inside the shopping center ay agad siya nitong hinapit sa baywang.

She was about to react when he spoke. "Baka mawala ka."

Tumahimik na lang siya. Kahit naman mawala siya. Marunong naman siyang magtanong. Tsk!

They entered in a shop that offers swim wears. Vaughn didn't let go of her waist.

She picked up a blue two-piece bikini. Bukod sa paborito niya ang blue, tingin niya ay bagay na bagay ito sa kanya. May kaputian kasi ang balat niya. Nagduda nga lamang siya kung talagang bagay niya ang kulay nang sabihan siya ni Vaughn na huwag magsuot ng blue.

She flipped the bikini para makita kung sakto sa bra-size niya.

"Don't mind the price," Vaughn whispered at her. Hindi naman yung presyo ang tinitingnan pero aminado siyang parang nagbago ang isip niya nang makita ang presyo nito. It costs 100 euros.

"I'm looking at the size." Tugon niya rito.

"So that should be 36B or C?" tanong nito. Her face reddened. Buti na lang nakabawi siya. It shouldn't be a big deal that he knows her size. May anak na nga sila.

"B," she answered with a shrugged.

"So, okay na yan?" tanong ulit nito. Tumango na lamang siya.

"If it's not a private resort, don't wear two-piece bikini, okay?"

Natigilan siya sa sinabi nito. He even squeezed her waist bago siya nito binitawan. He leaned on the display case at humarap sa kanya.

"Why? Hindi ba bagay?" Hindi niya alam kung saan galing ang salitang iyon. Basta na lamang niya naitanong.

He saw how Vaughn smiled.

"Well, you have these three stretchmarks on your belly about the size of a thread," saad nito.

Pinamulahan siya sa sinabi nito.

Pati iyon napansin nito?

It's too small. Noon ngang nagpunta sila ng Vitalis, konting-konting concealer lang ang ginamit niya. Sabi nga nito it's about the size of a thread.

Did he scrutinize her body when they did it?

Nakakahiya.

She was silent on their way back to the car. Iniisip pa rin kasi niya ang sinabi nito tungkol sa maliliit niyang stretchmarks. Naka-akbay ito sa kanya at hindi rin nagsasalita.

Kahit nang nagda-drive na ito ay pareho pa rin silang tahimik. Tumingin na lamang siya sa labas para malibang.

Her heart suddenly beats erratically nang makita ang daang tinatahak nila. Pamilyar sa kanya ang daan.

Hindi siya mapakali sa kinauupuan. She wants to ask kung saan sila pupunta pero siguradong magmumukha lang siyang tanga.

How could she ever forget this road?

The gate of the house automatically opened nang tumapat ang plate number ng kotse. Mas lalo siyang kinabahan.

"May gagawin lang ako saglit," Vaughn told her nang hindi siya nagsalita. She inhaled deeply and nodded.

Lumabas siya ng sasakyan at tiningnan ang kabuuan ng bahay.

Hindi niya alam kung hahakbang ba siya at susundan si Vaughn na nag-umpisa nang tunguhin ang pintuan ng bahay o mananatili na lamang siya sa tabi ng kotse.

"Lianna!"

She automatically walked when Vaughn called her name. Nag-aalangan man ay sumunod na lamang siya rito.

Malakas ang kabog ng dibdib niya habang hinihintay na bumukas ang pinto. She inhaled deeply as she was welcomed by a familiar ambiance.

"A-anong gagawin mo dito?" tanong niya kay Vaughn nang makapasok na sila ng bahay. Nautal pa siya. Maybe because this house reminds her of all the bliss she felt before.

Natigilan siya nang tumitig sa kanya si Vaughn nang makahulugan.

"I'll just have to do this." He whispered.

Bago pa man siya makapag-react ay nakakulong na siya sa mga braso nito. His lips hungrily met hers.