"Sometimes you need to stop thinking and just jump off the cliff right away." -jazlykdat

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Published by PSICOM. Available in all leading bookstores nationwide.

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It was already past midnight in Ireland. Hindi alam ni Lianna kung kumain na din ang mga bata bago natulog pero hindi naman siya nag-aalala dahil kasama ng mga ito ang parents ni Vaughn.

"Mauna ka na sa taas. Iaayos ko lang 'to," saad ni Vaughn habang inililigpit ang pinagkainan nila.

"I'll help you out," tugon naman niya at binuhat ang salad bowl sa harap niya.

"Nope, don't be stubborn. You look so tired," pilit nito. Magpro-protesta pa sana siya pero hindi na niya napigilang mapahikab.

"See," Vaughn said smiling. Napatango na lamang siya at naglakad na paalis ng kusina.

"Press the orange button and speak your full name para bumukas yung pinto." Pahabol nito bago siya tuluyang makalabas. Oo nga pala, this house is as high tech as his house.

She had been speaking "Lianna Henson" several times pero hindi bumubukas ang pinto. She sighed. Niloko lang yata siya ng Vaughn Filan na iyon. Antok na antok pa naman siya.

She pressed the button one more time.

"Lianna Henson-Filan" she said aloud. Napangiti siya ng bigla itong bumukas. Bahagya pang nawala ang antok niya.

Parang nabuhayan tuloy siya ng loob. Pero mahirap nang sumemplang ulit ang puso niya.

She just prepared herself to bed and slept tight.

It was already past 10 AM when she woke up. Wala na si Vaughn sa tabi niya but there are traces that he slept beside her.

Nagtungo siya sa banyo at naligo na.

Alas onse na nang makababa siya ng living room. Vaughn is seated at the living room holding a news paper.

"Hi! Good Morning!" he greeted. Tipid itong ngumiti sa kanya.

"Good morning," bati naman niya rito.

"Are you hungry?" tanong nito nang makaupo siya sa kaharap na couch.

"A little," she answered honestly. Tumayo naman ito mula sa kinauupuan.

"My parents don't have stay-in maids. Sa labas na lang tayo kumain ng brunch," saad nito. Kaya naman pala nakabihis na ito. He's wearing tight jeans and polo shirt.

"Where are they? And the kids?" kunot-noo niyang tanong rito.

"They were excited to go out but you were still sleeping kaya hindi na ako sumama," tugon nito. Para namang nahaplos ang puso niya sa sinabi nito. Sometimes, his signals are really contradicting. Minsan parang mahalaga siya rito, minsan naman ay balewala siya.

Maybe she's just overthinking.

Baka naman okay talaga sila?

O baka rin assuming lang siya?

"Let's go?"

Bumalik ang diwa niya nang magsalita ito.

"M-magpapalit lang ako ng damit," nauutal niyang saad.

Ngumiti naman ito.

"White jeans and blue blouse will do," saad nito pagtalikod niya. Her forehead creased. Akala niya ay ayaw nitong nagsusuot siya ng gano'ng kulay. Hindi pa naman siya nagdala ng gano'ng kulay na damit.

She just wore a lavender dress na one-inch above the knee at tightfitting. She knows it's just brunch but she wants to look good kaya lang mukhang nadismaya si Vaughn nang makita siya.

Tahimik lang itong nagdrive papunta sa kung saan. Nahiya na rin siyang magsalita. Maybe she doesn't look good in the dress, ni hindi kasi ito nagbigay ng compliment. Asa naman kasi siya.

Her insides churned when Vaughned parked the car. Hinintay siya nitong lumabas ng sasakyan bago naglakad papunta sa restaurant.

Alam niya ang sidewalk na 'to.

Alam niya ang pedestrian sa di kalayuan.

Alam na alam niya rin ang kabilang kalsada. It was where she stood, the first time she saw Vaughn.

Sinundan niya ang bulto ni Vaughn na naglakad patungo sa isang pamilyar na restaurant.

De ja vu. That's the correct term for it.

Para siyang bumalik sa araw na una silang nagkita. Lalung-lalo nang lumingon si Vaughn sa kanya at bahagyang ngumiti. It was the same smile that he offered him the first time.

Is he trying to repeat what happened years ago?

She inhaled deeply. Sumunod na lang siya sa asawa.

Her forehead creased when he sat in exactly the same spot he did more than six years ago. Parang ipina-reserve pa yata nito ang table na iyon dahil punuan ang restaurant ngayon.

"Take a seat." Vaughn said nang makalapit siya.

That's it! Sinasadya talaga nitong ulitin ang nangyari noon.

Para saan naman?

To hurt her more of the things that will never go back?

The chair is waiting for my ass. She mentally recited. It was what Vaughn said after asking her to take a seat. Bago pa man bumukas ang bibig nito ay umupo na siya.

She silently sulks. Now, she knows that he is killing her little by little.

Ilang beses ba itong naging sweet? Ilang beses din na pagkatapos ng sweetness ay binabalewala na lang siya bigla.

This is all part of his plan to hurt her. To get even on what she did years ago. He's making it a hell for her. Hanggang siguro sa siya na mismo ang sumuko at lumayo sa buhay nito

She sulks silently as she eats.

***

Vaughn looks at his wife as she eats silently.

Ilang beses niyang sinabi sa sarili niya na wala nang dahilan para mahalin niya ito. Ilang beses niya ring kinukumbinsi ang sarili niya na hindi naman talaga ito kagandahan because he is mad at what happened years ago.

Pero sino ba ang niloko niya?

His whole being still finds her as attractive as she was before. That electrifying stare he felt the first time he met her never vanished.

Ilang beses niya itong iniwasan sa loob ng bahay niya. Wala nang dahilan para mahalin niya ito. Iyon ang lagi niyang isinisiksik sa utak niya but when she asked permission to go back in their province, he doesn't want her to be out of his house. Pero hindi naman niya ito mapipigilan kaya sumama na lamang siya sa bakasyon ng mga ito.

Why did he want her family to be at peace the last five years na hindi ito nakipag-communicate sa kanila?

Isa lang naman ang rason. He love her that much na ayaw niyang may isang taong magalit o magtampo rito. He was just mad enough that time to admit when she asked him.

True. He was mad. However, he was there watching all her moves.

When she went back to him after five years and cried that night, he wanted to wrap her in his arms but he was too angry. He tried to think that she deserves it. But he was just fooling himself. He was actually angry at the situation. Ang daming taon ang nasayang.

If only she trusted him enough.

But now he understands her. And he is trying to rectify things.

May mga bagay lang siguro noon na kailangang baguhin. What they had before started so abruptly that he wants to slow down this time.

Kaya nga lamang, madalas sa tuwing tinitingnan niya ito ay hindi niya napipigilan ang sarili. He just wants to make love to her everytime. If he's lucky enough napipigilan niya pero kung hindi na wala na talaga itong kawala sa kanya.

He smiled at his own thoughts. He's not a maniac. Lianna is just so delectable in his eyes.

The first time they made love after she came back, lumayo pa siya at bumalik ng Manila baka kasi paulit-ulit iyong mangyayari kung mananatili siya sa tabi nito. But he has eyes around her kaya alam na alam niya ang nangyayari habang wala ito sa tabi niya.

The night before they traveled to Ireland, hindi na talaga niya napigilan ang sariling ipadama rito ang nararamdaman niya sa tuwing titingnan niya ito. She was as delectable as ever.

Funny because he even wants to go back to the first time they met para lang makasiguro na ganoon pa rin ang nararamdaman niya.

Pero hindi na yata ganoon ang nararamdaman niya kasi mas tumindi na. Kanina habang naglalakad sila papuntang restaurant gusto niya itong balikan at ikulong sa mga bisig niya para lang walang ibang lalaking tumingin rito. Bagay na bagay kasi sa kanya ang suot nitong dress.

Paglabas nga nito kanina ng bahay ay gusto niyang utusang palitan ang suot pero tumahimik na lang siya. He doesn't want to scare her again.

"Lianna," Baby. He wanted to add pero pinigilan niya ang sarili.

Slow down. He reminded himself. He's not going to rush her just like before.

He wants her to experience dating the natural way. Parang noong nanood sila ng sine kasama ang mga bata. He was happy to see her laugh that way. Umiwas nga lamang siya pagkatapos noon dahil baka hindi niya mapigilan ang sariling ikulong ito sa kuwarto maghapon hanggang sa pareho silang mapagod.

Lianna stared at him. Hahawakan sana niya ang kamay nito pero iniiwas nito ang kamay. He just inhaled deeply.

What happened to slow down, Vaughn? He reminded himself. Baka mamaya hilahin na naman niya ito para halikan. It might bring back scary memories years ago na isa sa dahilan kung bakit ito takot na takot na lumayo sa kanya.

It could be one of the reasons why, aside from the people who antagonized her. Baka malaking factor din talaga ang mga ipinakita niyang roughness noon para matakot ito. If he really was rough especially in bed.

"May sasabihin ka?" tanong nito sa kanya.

Vaughn just smiled. "You want anything else? We can still order." Pansin niya kasing parang wala itong ganang kumain samantalang sinabi nito kanina na gutom ito.

"Okay na 'to," tipid nitong sagot. Tumango na lamang siya. Lianna also continued eating silently.