It had been a while since I'd been to the owlery - I'd sent a letter a few weeks ago but  I hadn't received any in response since my Dad had died. Tuney thought the whole thing was weird and my Mum tried but she apparently couldn't get my owl, Ringo to sit down long enough for her to tie the letter to his leg. I'd told her to feed him a bit of rat or something but she'd refused.

I was up early though today for no particular reason and decided that a visit to the owlery was a pretty good way to pass the time, it was nice to get out so early in the morning anyway. Besides, my Mum had promised that she would finally learn and I might as well check just in case she'd actually followed through this time and Ringo did have a letter for me.

I reminded myself to trust my gut more often as when I came in, Ringo flew up with a letter attached to his leg with a light blue ribbon. It was so delicate and pretty, it screamed my mother (or Tuney but the day that Tuney writes a letter to Hogwarts, is the day I become a Hippogriff).

I opened the letter, which was written in my mother's beautiful cursive handwriting (something I hadn't inherited sadly).

Hello Lilypad!

Lovely to hear from you again, I'm so glad that revision is going well and I knew you would ace your potions test! I finally wrote you a letter! I managed to get Ringo to stay with the rat as you'd instructed! I'm sorry I couldn't mail your Christmas present over, I'll have to give it to you very late, I absolutely loved the scarf you got me! It's perfect for cold April days. I have good news too, our lovely Petunia is engaged to Vernon a few weeks ago! She is over the moon, she's ordered me to drive up and go wedding dress shopping with her in London, somewhere very fancy!

I've been very good recently, I've been trying a lot of new things now that I'm all alone but don't worry too much! I have got very into gardening, my radishes are even better than Beth, the head of the Gardening society (Don't tell Beth though, I don't want to start a quarrel). You can see them and judge for yourself when you come down to stay for Easter.

Speaking of the holidays, as you're coming down for the Second Week of the holidays and Petunia's only around for the first, I thought it would be great if you went to Dinner with her and Vernon. I know the two of you don't see eye to eye but it would be great if you could, to celebrate her engagement (She said she would be fine if you brought James along as you'll be at his the first week anyway and it would be nice for them formally meet).

Anyway, I look forward to your next letter!

Hugs and kisses, Mum xx

I with I could say that my heart was filled with joy at how happy Tuney was with her new fiancée but I just couldn't. I was happy she was happy but if it meant dinner with her and Vermin, then it was hard to feel too enthusiastic. Still, at least I had the drama with Beth from the gardening society to hear about, my Mum did like a good gossip here and there.

"Hey Lily." I looked up slowly from my letter to see Sirius standing in the doorway. Unlike me, who hadn't even bothered to brush my hair, Sirius looked like he'd spent an hour on his hair alone already despite the fact it was barely past 7 last time I checked, "I didn't know you had an owl, I haven't seen you here in ages."

"Since my Dad died, I've only been here twice and that was only because I was sending my Mum letters. Poor Ringo's probably bored stiff."

"Ringo is the... drummer for the Beatles." Sirius said and I applauded him as he smiled proudly.

"I'm impressed, James still thinks John Lennon is called James Lemon."

"I think that's because you said they both wore glasses and now he associates thinks John Lennon is called James." Sirius replied.

"What about the lemon part?"

"I don't know about that, James's mind is a funny thing." Sirius grinned with a shrug, walking over to his owl and slowly untying the letter from her leg.

"Who's your letter from?" I asked, peering over his shoulder before realising that he might now want me to see it and stepping back. He smiled at me slightly and opened it.

"Secret admirer." He winked as he opened the deep red letter. I could instantly tell that wasn't true by the black wax stamp over the letters that was stamped with the Black family crest.

"You'd better not let Marlene know." I said but Sirius was too distracted by the letter to react, "Is it a Howler?"

"No..." Sirius turned the letter over, running his finger along the black, italic writing on the front, "My family would never send one like that, us Blacks have too much class though."

"I didn't think they'd still write to you since you ran away, didn't you say that your Mum burned you off the family tree?" Sirius had a strange smile on his face at the mention of the family, I couldn't tell if it upset or made him feel sort of proud in a really weird way.

"Neither did I, I thought they'd just ignore my existence entirely, I was kind of hoping that would happen to be honest. This is worse." He walked a few paces away and sat down on one of the wooden steps, "I don't want to open it, it will be the same as the others. Lily..."

"Yes?" He looked up but didn't meet my eye, staring blankly as if he was pondering something, "If I tell you what's happening, can you promise me that you won't tell anyone? James and Remus know most of it, Peter knows some but that's all so please don't spread it around. If people knew that the Great Sirius Black was crying over some stupid letters that don't mean anything that would ruin me." He laughed slightly as he said this but it was clearly covering up a lot of hurt.

"Obviously I won't."

"Not even Marlene? I know that she's your best friend and my girlfriend but I don't want to talk about this with her..." I slowly folded my letter into my pocket and sat down next to him.

"Why not?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too prying.

"I don't know. I trust her obviously but it's odd. It still doesn't feel like a serious relationship... that sounds bad, I really like her but I've never had one that lasted this long before and I don't know how to proceed or whether to talk to her about this so I guess I just... stopped talking to her."

"I'm not saying you should tell her if you're not ready but please talk to her, Sirius, she's worried and it's upsetting her too..."

"You don't think I know that?" Sirius asked, burying his head in his hands, "I know I'm being an awful boyfriend and I hate myself for it but I can't talk to her not yet. She still thinks that I'm confident and cocky all the time and I don't want her to see this side of me."

"She knows it exists, Sirius, trust me. She's not stupid and she's liked you for a while, she's not headstrong and sassy all the time either."

"That's true..."

"Anyway, you tell her when you're ready, I'm not trying to force you." I said, putting my hand on his back comfortingly, "What's going on with these letters?"

"They're from my parents. They started after Christmas," Every word seemed to be taking a lot of effort to get out and I was getting some major deja vu to the last time he confessed his troubles to me, back when he third wheeled our date. I stupidly thought that him running away would be the end and getting together with Marlene would make him instantly happier but I was very wrong.

"They started to try and guilt me into coming home. I don't think they wanted me back because they loved me or anything but it was embarrassing to them to have their eldest son, the heir of the pureblood Black family, run away from home. It made them look bad and apparentely there were whispers that they were muggle sympathisers which of course was the worst thing in the world. My parents love their reputation. So they figured they could solve it all by getting me to come home and they began to write me these elaborate letters, it was almost like it was written to a business partner, not a son."

"Where they threatening to you? If they are, you could tell Professor Dumbledore and he could protect you - "

"I don't need protecting any more than any other muggleborn or blood traitor." He cut in, "They're not threatening, just blackmailing me... well, they were at first before it became much meaner and more hurtful. At first they told me to come for Regulus and tried to bribe me with inheritance and stuff like that. Apparentely the Dark Lord had heard that I was a talented Wizard when I put my mind to it and was willing to overlook all of my misdemeanours. I don't know if that's true, the Dark Lord doesn't strike me as the forgiving type."

"Me neither. He seems to be the torture first, ask questions later kind of guys." I added, instantly overthinking it as I tried to figure out whether I'd been insensitive or not.

"Yeah, exactly. Then they decided to try a different technique, I won't go into too much, but they began to insult me at every chance they got, told me that after this they'd personally instruct the Dark Lord to seek me out - "

"Sirius, I'm pretty sure that counts as threatening." I said but Sirius brushed it off.

"Nah, they do it a lot anyway they can't REALLY do it, it's just empty threats - "

"Threats. They're threats. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with it." I said, mildly horrified at how Sirius seemed to be taking it so casually. Just because they did it a lot didn't make it okay.

"It's okay, " I gave him a look and he sighed, "Okay, it's not okay. It's awful, it's upsetting and I wish they'd stop. I hate my family so much. Not Regulus as much, he didn't seem as bad as the others, a bit prejudiced but I thought he was growing out of it."

"What happened to him?"

"I think he joined them." Sirius said, his voice almost breaking. His anger had faded into sadness as the mention of Regulus, "He's one of the Dark Lord's deatheaters. Mum must be so proud, an actual deatheater. He's too young for that, something bad will happen to him, I can tell. He's quite quiet and sensitive, he doesn't like conflict, he always used to get upset when I fought with out parents, I don't know how he'll handle all the battles. I want to go back and see if I can change him but I don't think I can. I can never go back, it's not my home now."

I didn't really know to respond to this or what to advice him. Tuney was awful but she wasn't in danger of joining a Nazi-like organisation, I had no idea what to say. I couldn't say that it would all be okay because by the sounds of it, it wouldn't. I didn't want to tell him to go back because even if it did help Regulus, he couldn't be back there, it would hurt him without a doubt.

"Are you going to open it?" I said finally.

"No. It's just more of the same. I've stopped replying so hopefully they'll stop. You know what they say, if you ignore a bully they'll go away," His solemn expression changed to a smirk, "I would know, I was one of the bullies and it's no fun unless you get a rise out of your victims."

"That's a bit cruel." I said.

"I know, I regret it but it's true. Apparentely it's a Black family trait." He looked down sadly and I reached over and gave him a hug. I always felt protective urges around Remus or Peter who just seemed so pure and fragile that I felt the need to protect them but I'd never felt it about Sirius. I wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool away from his awful family, I hated seeing him so deflated, "What did your letter say?"

"Oh mine, not as bad as yours, I reckon." I said with a faint smile, "It was from my Mum, Tuney and Vermin got engaged and I have to have dinner with her to celebrate. Also my Mum thinks that her prize radishes are better than Beth's but don't tell Beth."

"Who's Beth?" He asked with a laugh as the confident, charismatic Sirius I knew returned.

"Head of the Garden Committee or something."

"Damn and I thought I had drama." I was definetly glad to finally know what was going on with him but it was definetly going to be hard keeping it from Marlene. The moment she realised we had a deep chat in the Owlery, she'd be bugging me about it until next Christmas.