"Okay, we need a plan of action. Remus, you're good with plans - "

"What about me?" Sirius asked, folding his arms, "I'm good with plans. I set Remus up with Mary AND almost got Peter laid."

"Mary and Remus broke up and Peter got his nose broke!" I replied, "You can help when one of your plans works!"

"He did manage to save me..." Remus said, smiling over at Sirius. Sirius grinned back before turning to me with a triumphant look on his face.

"You were saying?"

I opened my mouth to reply with a sassy witty argument but instead just said, "Well, you got kidnapped too so it doesn't really count, does it? Okay, I'll do it with just Marlene then. She's my Maid of Honour." I eyed up the boys, trying to figure out who would be good for what. Their attitudes seemed to range from chaotic and panicky to completely detached about the situation, neither of which was helpful. Plus, I barely recognised some of them and I wasn't sure how happy they'd be if I barked orders at them. Then I remembered that they didn't really have a choice, I was the bride right now which meant I'd been given a free pass for the day.

"Okay, so Mark, you're the one who gave James... whatever the hell it was, correct?" I asked and Mark sheepishly nodded, "You go back to where you bought it and you find an antidote okay, take some people with you. I don't care who but not Sirius... I'm keeping an eye on him. Take Remus, he'll help."

"What did I do?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"You're James's best man and he drunk a potion that gave him boobs," I replied, "Seems like the sort of thing you should have prevented."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll stay with you but also because I'm actually crazy smart and I could be a major help."

Mark grinned as he walked out with a couple of guys, "Plus your hair looks like crap, you need to have time to fix it."

Me and Marlene stared at Mark in shock for daring to criticise Sirius's hair.

"Amen, Mark Bennett," Marlene grinned and Sirius's eyes were wide with shock and anger.

"Mark Bennett, if I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it." Sirius said slowly.

"Sirius, your hair looks great," I replied quickly, "Mark, you should go now..."

"He was right," Marlene said, clearly relishing the chance to sass her ex, "That took guts, Mark, you are truly a Gryffindor."

I looked between the three of them and sensed some tension so quickly said, "Marlene, actually that's a very important job, I think you should go instead of Remus."

She opened her mouth to argue but quickly realised the reason and agreed, leaving with Mark and some others. Hopefully she'd keep them in check and not add to the chaos.

"Okay, so James your house has a library, right?"

"Of course, it does, it's a castle, Lily!" James shouted.

"James, don't yell at me, I'm trying to help!"

"Sorry, that was uncalled for," He replied, "I'm just kind of freaking out right now."

"Me too but we'll fix it," I replied, trying to calm him, "Okay, so the rest of you go there and look for literally anything that could fix this, okay?"

The other boys grunted and nodded in response before walking out. Sirius and Remus began to walk out too but I pulled them back by their shoulders, "No, you two are staying here - PETER! You come back too!"

Peter peered around the door frame, "But you said the rest of us, I'm the rest of us too."

"No, you're a Marauder," Sirius replied, "We're not the rest of us, we're the inner circle."

"We're a band of united brothers, you can't just leave with the rest of them," Remus said.

"Very touching," I replied with a wry smile, "Okay, the five of us should go and speak to Euphemia and Fleamont and see if they know anything - "

"No," James said firmly, "I am not letting my parents see my like this. No way in hell, you have to go."

"James, they're your parents - "

"I don't care, Lily," James replied, "This is so awkward, you have to go. Please, I don't want them to see my like this on my wedding."

Peter examined James, his hands on his chin, "It's probably not as bad as you think, I mean you don't like that much like a girl other than boobs and the legs and the waist. I mean you still have stubble and your arms look kind of similar."

"Maybe Mark only gave you a watered down potion," Remus said, "I don't know if that's how it works but if it was mixed with other substances it would probably lessen the effects somewhat."

"Okay, that should make it easier to reverse... I think," Sirius said at the end, as if to stop himself from revealing his true intelligence.

"Okay, that's good, we'll go and talk to Euphemia and Fleamont," I said, "Peter, Remus let's go... Sirius, you stay here. As much as I am a little distrustful of your abilities as best man right now, I think I have to trust that you are the person who can keep James calm... other than me but I have some minor control issues and need to see do this, okay?"

James nodded, "Okay. Lily, I'm sorry for doing this, I can sometimes handle pressure well but right now I can't. I just want this to be perfect... sorry."

"Don't worry," I replied with a smile, "It happens to the best of us. Well, not this exact scenario and if worst comes to worst, I'm sure you'll rock the boobs."

He gave a small smile as I walked out, Remus and Peter in tow. The three of us walked with rapid urgency and I somehow managed to walk quicker than Remus even though his legs were like twice as long as mine.

"When we see James's parents, we can't mention what's happened okay?" I instructed them, "James is embarrassed about this, I don't want to tell them if he doesn't want to. Just be subtle and if they grill us, we say Mark drank it instead."

"Because they won't care enough to check, good plan." Remus replied.

"Savage," Peter grinned and Remus gave him a confused look.

"It wasn't meant to be!"

The three of us walked into the living room where Euphemia and Fleamont were sat, their hands clasped neatly on their laps. They looked surprisingly relaxed at a glance but as I came closer I realised they were quite nervous, Fleamont's fingers tapping on the coffee table.

"Euphemia, Fleamont?" I said softly, knocking on the door even thought it was open. They both jumped and turned around almost instantly.

"Yes, Lily?" Euphemia said, "Oh, you looks so lovely, Lily, you always do but you are glowing. Is everything okay? James forbade us from helping out?"

Fleamont followed his wife, somehow managing to trip on the rug as he walked towards us. I heard Remus give a snort of laughter which he quickly pretended was a cough so as not to be rude.

"Um... yeah, it's all good but - "

"Mark has turned himself into a woman!" Peter blurted out before shrugging at me. I had hoped not to use that excuse unless they'd asked but there was nothing I could do now.

"Yep, we were wondering if you had any idea what it was."

Euphemia adjusted her glasses as she considered this before turning to her husband who was staring off into the distance as if he was under the imperius curse, "Fleamont, FLEAMONT!"

"Huh? Yes?" He looked around rapidly, "Oh, um... it was very good, whatever you say, dear."

Euphemia rolled her eyes and Fleamont smile to himself as if he'd managed to fool her, "No, Fleamont, dear, you're the expert in potions, I think you'd be the better one to help."

"What? Oh yes, I love my potions, did you know I created Sleakeazy? The Sleakeazy, I was in my parents' studio - "

"Not the time, Fleamont!" Euphemia said with an apologetic grin, "You'll have plenty of time to tell Lily about this later, they're looking for the name of a potion that changes your gender, there must be one. I believe I've even heard you talking about that before, right?"

Fleamont nodded slowly, "Yes, yes, I know the one, the Faciesus Potion, I was reading about it just last week, I'm a bit of a potions nerd."

"I've never heard of that," I replied, a slight uncertainty slipping over me at the horror of coming across a potion I'd never heard of.

"Very few people have, Polyjuice Potions' lesser known cousin but just as effective. Hard to brew and even harder to drink; if you think Polyjuice potion tastes bad, you should try Faciesus." He replied, "Can completely change a person's gender although the extent of the effects and the duration all depend on how it was brewed."

"Is there an antidote?" Remus asked.

"And have you tried it?" I asked, getting sucked into a potions nerd conversation with Fleamont, "You sound like you know it well."

"Have I tried it?" Fleamont gave a small laugh, "I've made it myself, took me weeks but I did. Such a strong dosage that it turned poor Eden into a man for several days. I must say she pulled it off very well, she was a good sport, Eden was. She'd often grow me top quality ingredients for my potions, all I had to do was send an Owl and a few days later she'd send me whatever I needed... my potions have been sub-par ever since she's gone and I can't find the motivation to make any potions with plants in - "

"Fleamont, they're looking for an antidote," Euphemia interrupted, placing a hand on her husband's shoulder who had a sad, fond smile on his face.

"Oh, yes," He said with a smile, "No antidote, I'm afraid but Beetle Berry Whiskey has been known to speed along the process a bit."

"If it was watered down and didn't completely transform, how long it would it last? It was watered down and J - Mark still has stubble and kind of a masculine figure." Remus asked.

"A few hours?" Fleamont replied, "Potion making is more art than science - "

"I've always thought that!" I cut in excitedly, "What do you think of - "

"Lily, focus," Remus said, "Do you have any of that beetle juice?"

"Beetle Berry Whiskey," Fleamont corrected, "I believe we have some in the larder, is that right, Euphemia?"

"How would I know?" Euphemia asked, "You're the only who drinks that vile stuff."

"An acquired taste."

"It has the word Beetle in the title," Euphemia replied and Fleamont gave her a sleepy smile, clearly not quite hearing what she'd said and nodding.

"We can find it," Peter said, "We're good at finding things."

Euphemia and Fleamont nodded as the three of us darted out, my dress slightly impeding my exit. I'd almost forgotten I was wearing it, I'd become weirdly accustomed to it.

The Beetle Berry Whiskey was surprisingly easy to find, mainly because there was an entire shelf dedicated to it. I was glad there were three of us otherwise we may not have been able to carry it all which would have been a shame. Sirius and James's faces lit up when they saw us walk in but they're expressions sunk slightly as they saw what we were carrying.

"Beetle Berry Whiskey?" Sirius said, raising one eyebrow, "Your solution is to get Prongs drunk?..."

"I mean I wouldn't notice then, would I." James replied.

"Yeah but other people would," Sirius said, "I think your boobs have actually gone down a bit - "

"Hey, eyes up here Padfoot!" James said with mock irritation.

"Padfoot, how could you!" Remus said, tutting at Sirius.

"I was checking them platonically!"

"Yeah right," Remus scoffed.

"We're not getting James drunk!" I replied, "Well, maybe we are but that's not the aim of this. Apparentely there is no antidote but apparentely this will speed up the effects a bit." I handed him a bottle, "Drink up, James."

"You're a bad influence on me, Lily Evans," James said with a grin. He took a large swig of Whiskey and his eyes widened slightly.

"Prongs, you okay?" Sirius asked, his eyes wide with concern.

"That was... weird," James said, shaking his head, "I just felt my boobs shrink. Lily, do you ever get that?"

I gave him a weird look, "When would I feel that?"

"I don't know," James shrugged, "I thought maybe it was a girl thing."

Remus glanced at the clock, "Maybe we want to hurry this along a bit, you guys wouldn't want to be late for your own wedding, would you?"

I shrugged, "Eh, I feel like if anyone would, it would be James."

"Lily!" I whipped around to see Marlene walking in with the other boys, "I just saw the weirdest thing. A bunch of the groomsmen were in the library reading, I didn't know half of them could read."

"Also we figured it out, I think the potion is Facius, Faces?" Mark said, "Eh, I don't know."

"Faciesus," I replied, "Don't worry, we've got it."

Marlene looked down at the hem of my dress, "Oh God, the bottom of your dress is all muddy."

"It's fine..." I looked at it, my hands flying to my face in horror, "Oh no, you're right."

"That's it, we're heading to the Church," Marlene said, "That's enough adventuring for now, we'll see you boys later and hopefully James won't have boobs by that time..."