As usual, I was the last one to wake up but my tiredness quickly became irritation as I realised that a package had arrived for me, a package from a certain Fleamont Potter, and nobody had bothered to tell me.

"You knew I'd been expecting this?" I said, stamping my foot as the three boys concealed laughter which only heightened my anger, "When did this arrive?"

James shrugged, "A few hours ago..."

"A few hours? A few hours?" I asked, holding the package aloft, "Bad, bad, bad!" I jabbed my finger at the three of them which made Sirius let out a snort of laughter, "Oh you think this is funny, Black, huh? How about I throw this in your face?"

"How about you don't..." Sirius suggested nudging James.

"How about I do! In fact I will do!" For a second, I raised my arm forgetting about the contents. Sirius winced suddenly, suddenly curling up like a frightened little boy and I automatically lowered my arm. James took his chance and stood up, putting his arms on my shoulder.

"Lily, you've waited ages for that package, maybe don't throw it," He said and the other two nodded in agreement quickly, "How about we instead get you some food?"

"You know, James not every problem can be solved by food, I'm not always hungry - "

"Pancake?" He suggested, "I've got good at them."

"Fine," I huffed, "But no guarantees."

Despite my earlier words that not every problem could be solved by food, this problem could indeed by solved by food and several pancakes later, I was feeling a lot calmer. The three of them looked between me and my parcel expectantly but hadn't figured out that I would not be sharing the contents with them. I wasn't going to give away my secret investigation to them, especially if this turned out to be another dead end and the blank pages were just Dumbledore's dry cleaning (or experiments into erotic literature as Dorcas had tastefully suggested).

"Those were lovely," I said, leaning down to kiss James before picking up my parcel and walking away.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sirius asked, standing up, "Considering you threatened to throw the package at me, I think I have at least some claim to it."

"What?" I furrowed my brow, pressing my lips together in a strange, bemused smile, "That doesn't even make sense?"

"It's from my Dad, don't I deserve to see?" James asked and I quickly retreated up the stairs, shaking my head.

"No, it's potions stuff... it's private," I said, my cheeks flushing. It had got a lot better over the past few years but there were still moments where I would go as red as a tomato.

Sirius gave me a knowing smirk, "It's sex stuff. You're in for a treat, Prongs."

"It's not sex stuff," I replied, running up to the stairs before realising it was a weird but oddly plausible excuse, "Actually... it is. James... be warned..."

I instantly regretted my choice of words as James's eyes widened with horror and curiosity. I heard him say something to Sirius but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it and I was too far up the stairs anyway. Once I was in our room, I quickly locked the door with several charms so that even alohamora couldn't get in.

Me and James, despite being married, still had some boundaries and he'd learnt very early on that my sock drawer was off limits. Every other drawer was fine but my socks lived on my feet which helped me walked and it was weird to think of people touching them. This of course had made it the perfect place to stash the blank papers that I'd picked up from Dumbledore's office. With one final glance to check that James hadn't somehow snuck in, I pulled the papers out, laying them out on the bed. Marlene had the other half with her but I'd only let her know about this later, if my letters turned out to be something. I hated how usually I probably would have called her over instantly but Sirius's suspicions had got to me so for once I was hesitant.

Fleamont had been surprisingly extra with the parcel and when I opened it, two little parcels and a letter fell out. I pushed the letter to the side, eagerly tearing apart the brown paper to see two little vials, one of them clear and one of them dark blue. Each one had a label tied around the cork, one stating 'For concealment' and the other 'For reappearance'. Tied to the string of the concealment potion was a pressed blue foxglove; Fleamont's extraness rivalled that of even his son.

Knowing that I only had a limited amount of each, I poured only a small drop onto one of the blank pieces of paper, just as a tester, waiting with baited breath for anything to happen. For a second, nothing did and I prepared myself for the inevitable wave of disappointment but then slowly, yet surely a few dark letters began to appear where the potion had dripped. Although only a few letters had been revealed, it was clearly Dumbledore's handwriting and I jumped up, my heart beating with excitement. This was a lead. I had a lead.

I grabbed the letters, tying them together with the string from Fleamont's parcel, preparing to go and show Marlene when something stopped me. Sirius's words had had more of an impact on me than I'd thought so I quickly decided on Dorcas instead, feeling a pang of guilt that Marlene wasn't the first one to know. I wanted to believe that Mark was apparating over and Marlene was telling me the truth, but she hadn't told me about Sirius's accusations, what if it was because they were true?

"Lily, what's in your hand - " James began as I dashed past, hastily scrunching up the letters into my pocket but I held up my hand to silence him.

"Can't talk now, got to go see Dorcas."

"Yep, it's definitely sex stuff," Sirius sniggered but I was in too much of a rush to reply, getting out of the door as fast as possible. For a brief second I almost apparated to Marlene's but at the last second, stopped myself and changed my location to Dorcas's road. The pang of guilt crossed me again but I brushed it away, I would tell her eventually just not first.

Dorcas seemed surprisingly unfazed to see me as I dashed in, a few of the papers falling on the floor. She instantly dropped to scoop them and put them on them on the coffee table, laying them neatly in a pile.

"Hey, Lily, nice to see you at this very random hour," She said, her voice strangely monotonous which she quickly hid with a smile, "What can I do for you?"

"Dorcas, the blank papers they are actual things..." I said breathlessly which was met by a look of confusion.

"Come again?"

"You know how I told you about Fleamont's potions? Well, I put just a little drop on them and there words that appeared almost instantly, they are actual letters." I said, excitedly jamming the letter into her hands.

"Oh, guess we have a lead," She replied despondently. My initial excitement had cleared slightly so I was able to tell that something was wrong now.

"Dorcas? Is everything okay?" I asked, slowly putting the letters on the table.

"I guess, I feel a bit... down," She finished after a long silence, "Marlene's been a bit distant since she and Mark started dating and I guess I just feel down about it, I miss her a bit."

"She's been like that with me too, Not telling me stuff."

"I think everyone's struggling like you know Glenn - "

"Your ex?"

"Yeah, him," She continued to look forward as she spoke, the lines on her forehead deepening as she spoke, "He's scared...we spoke a bit and he's frightened of the Deatheaters... he's a good guy... sorry, you don't need to hear this. We have a lead, let's focus on that."

"We don't have to..."

"No, I want to," She said, "Thank you for coming to me, it... it feels nice to see someone."

I could tell that she wasn't telling the whole truth but decided not to press it anymore. Fleamont had given me a remarkable amount of potion and a little went a long way so we had more than enough. The hopeful part of me thought we would find a lead instantly but the letters dated back as far as 1973: we had a long task ahead of us.

Dorcas wasn't in a very chatty mood for once so we sat in silence, me pouring the potion onto the paper and her reading each one thoroughly, occasionally pointing out an amusing phrase or two. I was vaguely tempted to invite Marlene over, she completed our little trio, adding some bluntness and sarcasm but the conversation with Dorcas had only intensified my suspicions, neither of us seemed to trust her enough to invite her to join

"Lily..." Dorcas said suddenly, her eyes intently focused on one letter that was dated only a few months ago, "I found something... interesting."

I leant over, glancing at where her finger was pointing, my heart beating faster as I noticed that unlike the others, this one was from Grindlewald to Dumbledore.

- this sort of thing has happened before, I am sure of it. I would tell you more but even in this form, there is a risk of the letter falling into the wrong hands so I shall save it for your visit. The Dementors may be soulless but they don't have ears, only vague senses. It's the other prisoners that you have to worry about -

"He's visiting him... why would he visit him?" I asked, slowly rereading the passage again.

"To discuss matters that can't be said over the letter," She replied unhelpfully, "If the rumours were true perhaps he's not visiting to talk..."

"DORCAS!" I said, lightly slapping her arm, "We need to talk to the others... maybe not even then, someone important. Like... like McGonagall, she would listen. If he is the spy, we need to alert someone, Dorcas, he could be giving away secrets! The Order could be a front, oh God, we're all going to die. Dumbledore IS Lord Voldemort - "

"Lily, calm down," Dorcas said, her eyes widening as I began to freak out more and more, "Dumbledore isn't Voldemort and we should wait to discuss with the others before we alert anyone..."

Her eyes drifted off into the distance and I turned as well to see a small white owl flying towards the window. Ringo.

As if in a dream, Dorcas slowly rose and moved towards the window whilst I sat there, slowly getting caught up in a panic spiral.

"Oh God, why is someone using my owl," I said, rocking back and forth slightly, "I bet they're all dead, all of them, they have the address because Dumbledore does and it's a ransom. What if they kill James... Dorcas, what if he's dead!"

She didn't reply, slowly opening the note and reading aloud, "Come home now. Sirius."

This was too much and I curled up into a small ball, "Oh my God, I was right, he is dead. Dorcas, he's dead isn't he or Remus is or Sirius is... oh God, what if it's Marlene! What if by not inviting her, we let her die. Dorcas, I am freaking out, Dorcas, they're all dead..."

"Lily, please calm down," She begged, clearly a bit out of her depth, as she sat next to me, "It's probably not that, maybe he's just burnt the pancakes and set fire to the house - "

"Which mean they were still ALL DEAD!"

"Lily, don't yell at me," Dorcas said, her face suddenly harsh, "I'll keep the letters here with me for safekeeping, you go find out what it is and then come back here and we can continue."

"I don't want them to be dead, Dorcas," I said, slowly standing up as she guided me out the door, linking me arm as we walked down into the street. A few people turned to watch us but the British are polite people and most of them chose to turn away so as not to acknowledge the problem.

"Lily, they're probably fine," She said, "Please try and be calm? This is probably all a case of bad timing, one thing freaking you out which made the other seem worse, okay?"

I wanted to believe her, I really did but as I apparated away, the pit of dread seemed to amplify. It seemed to take forever just to climb the stairs, my legs moving slower than usual, preparing for the worst. As I walked in, a wave of relief washed over me as I realised all three of my boys were still there, sitting on the sofa next to each other. I quickly realised however that things weren't right.

James was racked with sobs.

James almost never cried.

"Oh God, James.." I ran over to him, Remus moving up so I could sit next to him. For a second, he didn't register my presence before he turned to me, pulling into a fierce hug as he cried on my jumper, "James, what's wrong?"

"We got the letter about ten minutes ago," Sirius said, answering for him, his voice choked up, "They... they got sick, Lily."

"Who?"

"My parents," James managed, "They got... they got sick and..."

"They're dead," Remus finished, sitting there despondently. It took me a few moments to register this on top of an already chaotic day.

James parents were dead. James's Dad had been sick when he'd made the two potions for me and yet he did it anyway and I hadn't even bothered to read his letter. Maybe he would have told me in it, maybe we could have visited them and James could have said goodbye but we couldn't now.

James's parents were dead.