First of all, I know I've been annoying you guys with all of the Homestuck updates, so I'm banning myself for talking about it for 5 updates excluding this page in this book.(with one exception which I'll post in a bit cuz it's a drawing question mostly)

School is... fine. I mean, it's school. For the most part, I like my teachers, and the classes are okay for the most part. I haven't gotten too much homework, although it's only day 3 (4 if you count freshmen orientation) Theology is a little cringe-worthy but that's kinda my fault. I'm an agnostic atheist. That essentially means, I don't really believe in gods and that the control us, nor do I worship them, but I can't PROVE they don't exist. Like a lot of things have happened that I can't explain by coincidence,  but I don't exactly believe that Jesus is listening to me 24/7. I haven't really told anybody, so I mean, kinda my problem cuz I'm going to a catholic school. Hey, at least I don't make fun of other people's religions.

Tennis is... fluctuating. Our coach isn't exactly... able to relate to girls. So it's really awkward. I see him as more of a boys basketball coach. There's also the fact that he forgets I'm a newbie... Like brand new. I get it's impossible to keep track of seventeen girls (Entry Number Seventeen lol) but it comes back to bite me in the butt when he expects me to know something and I screw up. Like, I got suspended since I was out of the country for almost two weeks, which makes perfect sense, I just didn't know I had to come to the matches even though i'm not playing. I mean, I guess I could have assumed that? But he said "if you aren't playing, be sure go out and hit before Monday" and my brain interpret that as "you don't need to come if you aren't playing so be sure to practice." Is that just me who thinks like that? Idk man. Idk.

I kind of had a breakdown earlier, and I'm kind of using this to get rid of it all. Dance today was a hellish nightmare. It's really dumb but I hate how we got treated! Call it some stupid "equal rights" thing but it pisses me off! I'll try to put it in metaphors you understand, but our ceili team is like any sports team. We're going to play in a tournament against people who have been dancing since U8s probably and 6/8 are new. We also had a player leave and we had to find a replacement. We couldn't find one, so we're having 2 players from other teams play twice. So we have no chance of placing top, and we're honestly just trying not to get dead last. If we get recalled to play in a world qualifying tournament will be a fucking miracle. So we already have a very low chance of doing well, but we're willing to try anyway.

But today, this DISGRACE OF A HUMAN BEING NAMED MICHAEL screwed us over. Imagine working in a factory on an assembly line. You've been working there for six months (yes we've been working on this dance since February) and suddenly you're boss comes up and goes, "The guy you work next to? We're sending him to the front of the line. Guy behind you? Back of the line. We're moving you between Charlie and Fred (you've never worked with them, you just know them) have fun." And that isn't even the worst part, this is just what happened.

So, we're U15 and our spots in the dance have all gotten switched around and they told us to go all the way through. Obviously, we made a lot of mistakes. Like, for the most part if you're a gent, you have similar moves and if you're a lady you have similar moves. There's a few differences, but it's still really disorienting working with people you haven't danced with as well as facing a different direction. And they LAUGHED. I even heard them say how they were dying because they knew our dance had gone down the toilet. WE WERE TRYING, DAMNIT! I get poking a little fun at someone when they make a silly mistake, but this was just... NO. WE ARE NOT TOYS FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT! WE ARE A NEW TEAM, WE ARE TRYING OUT HARDEST, RESPECT US!

And it just continued to spiral downhill! My friend Dave (she's a girl, I just call her Dave) went from being a lady to a gent, and when she was having trouble picking it up, because the gents are waaaaaay different than the ladies. The thing is Michael doesn't seem to get that people have different learning speeds and different ways of thinking. So when we walked through it and she kept making mistakes, he kept saying "Use your brain" EXCUSE YOU! WE ARE NOT ROBOTS, WE CAN'T PICK THINGS UP ON THE FIRST TRY! WE HAVE DIFFERENT MINDS THAT LEARN DIFFERENTLY SO YOU NEED TO WORK WITH US AND BE PATIENT!

There's also the fact that these guys are like my family. And the fact that he made 5 OUT OF 8 OF US CRY TODAY reaaaaaly makes me want to kick his fucking ass. And the three others that didn't cry were literally at the end of their ropes.  And we get to see this asshole tomorrow and Sunday! Please kill me...

Anyway, today has been a really rough day and I needed to rant. My friend who's on the team and I were talking, and we decided we need to take everybody on our team to go get ice cream or something. Like, we were all a mess today. And nobody's going to think it's HIS fault considering he's the fucking Jesus of Irish dancing and that we're just hormonal teenagers. I practically had a panic attack, and honestly "The Condesce Song" by Broadway Karkat helped A LOT. So I'm stressed out and I just don't want to do anything.....

Sorry for ranting, I'll get back to my normal updates of randomness, I promise. See ya.

~Lilac