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∽ m i r a c l e ' s  p e r s p e c t i v e ∽

Beat, beat, drop, drop.

I can hear my own heart beating.

Beat, beat, drop, drop.

If I can hear them, then I'm still alive.

Beat, beat, drop, drop.

As my heart palpitates, I'm now hearing footsteps on the ground.

Suddenly, the door opens. A man comes inside. He sits on the chair beside me; holds my hand and brushes my knuckles with his thumb.

"How are you?" He asks in a low, soft voice.

I do not answer him back. I'm just here, staring blankly at him.

I hear him sighs, looking at me with those silver-gray ice orbs. "How long will you going to ignore me?"

Ignoring who?

"I'm with you right now, but you're not talking to me."

I don't need it. It's pointless.

"I miss you, Miracle. Please come back." He's still talking and I'm just listening numbly to him.

"I don't understand why you're avoiding me. Please tell me, what do I need to do?"

He holds my hand as he squeezes it gently. He bows down, feeling the tip of his nose on my knuckles. Nuzzling it, my hand senses a light kiss coming from him. "But one thing I can promise you, Miracle." I see him leaning to my face while stroking my hair with his soft and warm fingertips. "As long as I can wait, I'll wait for you."

He pauses a bit. I think, he's frustrated about what's happening in his life. When he gives up with his thought, he ends up putting his forehead to mine—leaving a small gap between our faces.

"Hey, listen to me." He speaks in a desperate tone. And then, he said something that I never caught. What does he say? Can he please repeat it?

Still no reaction, I stay silent and reserved.

"Goodbye for now." he added. Lowering his head, he gives me a longing kiss on the forehead.

"Chance." I call as I open my eyes.

But I ended up appalled. Hindi si Chance ang nakita ko, kundi si Kuya Mike.

"Little girl, you're awake." He greets while smiling.

"Ah, yeah." I reply as I sit properly and notice that I'm confined in the hospital.

"You little brat." Kuya Mike suddenly hisses.

"What?" I complain, having my eyebrows furrowed.

He looms closer to me and kisses my forehead. "You made us all worry."

"I'm sorry, Kuya." I nod my head down apologetically.

"Well, your safety is all that matters." Kuya Mike composes himself and sits on the chair.

I see him grabs a bowl and hands it to me. I take the bowl. I peep inside the bowl and it surprises me seeing strawberries.

"Wah!~" I say in awe and imagine myself having eyes that forms into pink-colored hearts as my mouth drools.

This is a rare reaction coming from me.

"Missing Chance?" Kuya Mike questions in the middle of my fascination with the berries.

"Eh?" I give him a dumb look.

He chuckles on my expression and leans back to his chair. "Y'know, sweetheart, you called him the moment you woke up." He says with his cool smile.

I nod. I can't deny it, though. "Did he visit here?"

He frowns, "No, why?"

"I dreamed that he was here; perhaps, that's the reason why I uttered his name by the time my eyes opened."

He grins, "Just eat strawberries, shortcake. I think you're hungry and you're hallucinating that Chance came here," he shrugs. "Where . . . he actually did not."

"Geh." I huff and pout my lips. Kuya Mike just chuckles, continuously teasing me.

"How's the school?" The question that I ask, diverting the topic.

"Well, the C. Org. along with the FBI investigated everything." he answers while pursing his lips. "About your case, it was self-defense, kaya walang sabit ang pangalan mo."

Tumango ako sa kanya. "It is the Sakura Company, right?" I inquire.

"Right," he nods in redundancy.

"Mayroon bang na-damage na students about doon sa pagsabog?"

"There are, yeah, but minor injuries lang naman. Not like you, Miracle." He twitches his eyes and eyebrows. "You have sprained your left arm; a small fracture on a rib. You even have bruises and scars! What have you done to yourself, huh, Miracle? You should take care of your skin!" He lectures me.

"It was an accident, okay?" I reason. Kuya Mike is very protective, especially when my skin is the topic. "Rather, it was an incident." I mumble under my breath as my lips are jut up.

"You're being called as a reaper but you don't know how to take care of yourself." Kuya Mike complains vexedly.

"Fine. I will move safer next time." I tell him.

"You should be."

"How many days I'm going to be healed completely, Kuya?" I query while looking to my palm.

"The doctor said that you're going to take a therapy for four months." He answers.

"Eh? But that's too looonngggg."

"I know. But you have to suffer with the consequences."

"But, but, but . . ." I whine in exasperation. "It's not my fault!"

"Ah-hah." Kuya Mike smirks, "But it is your fault because you're so reckless."

"Ah, whatever." I huff, clasping my arms in a cross.

"Now, now. Just eat your berries."

"Mm'kay." I respond with a sweet, bright smile.

He smiles and ruffles my hair. I groan in irritation. Not my hair. "Anyway, you gotta finish all those, okay?"

"Of course." I grin sideways.

"Laters, my baby girl." And then Kuya Mike gives me a peck at the top of my head.

"Bye." Sabi ko na lang at nagsimulang kumain.

~ ♕ ~

My life update at this time: I'm currently walking on the pathway. It has been two weeks since I was in the hospital.

Gladly, everything goes normal. But others are hoping that the incident will never going to happen again.

I'm not fully recovered yet. I just convinced Kuya Mike to attend class.

Pumunta na ako sa room namin, and feeling ko, wala pa si teach. As I slide the door open, I take a one step inside.

Second step, third step, fourth step, and for my fifth step; unfortunately, I don't have the oppurtunity to take the fifth step.

Reason?

"WAHH! NAT!!" Ash and Elli cries as they hastily run towards me.

"Hah?" I utter with annoyed expression. And it takes time to sink in my mind that I need to run right now. But before I can run, they have already pounded me a hug.

"Dang. It hurts." I whimper with a face-palm.

"Aww. Sorry. Masakit pa ba?" Elli asks worriedly as they both let go of me.

"Yeah. Bruises everywhere and a fracture on my ribs." I answer lazily with my head tilts sidewards.

"Nat!" Ash calls with a nagging tone. "Hinanap ka namin sa mga hospital dito sa Pilipinas, pero bakit wala kaming nahanap na Natsumi Montero?"

Ohh . . . Talaga?

"Meron kaming nahanap." Elli grumbles, "Akala namin ikaw na iyon. Pero hindi pala!"

"Eh? Sino ang nahanap ninyo?"

"Basta!" Elli hollers, "Tapos sabi ng nurse, mamamatay ka na raw! At siyempre, maiyak-iyak kami ni Ash, dahil hindi namin akalain na gan'on ka-grabe ang nangyari sa 'yo."

"Then?" I ask amusingly.

"Pagkatapos naming pumasok, halos gusto ko ng patayin ang doctor na iyon!!" With her furious face, Elli bawls out.

"Why?" I question while frowning with a scoff. They are entertaining me.

"Dahil hindi naman ikaw 'yung nakaratay sa hospital bed sa iyon!!!" She screams and then she tries cooling herself. "Kapangalan mo lang pala!"

I can't help but to laugh, "Chill. As you can see, I'm alive, right?"

"Oo. Pero saan hospital ka na-confine?" Ash inquires.

I smile mystically, "Inuwi nila ako sa Japan." I deny. I was not in the public or private hospitals. Nasa hospital ako ng White Nation—which sa mga members ng White Nation lang ang pwedeng pumunta. Halos si Ate Bea, Kuya Mike, Dennis, Clint, and Skhy lang ang bumibisita sa akin.

Hindi na namin sinabi kay Nate ang nangyari sa akin. Baka umuwi siya ng wala sa oras.

My Mom and Dad checked my condition through video call.

At isa pa, mas high-tech ang mga gamit sa White Nation Medical Centre, compared to other hospitals. And talagang malabo na bibisita si Chance.

After naming magkwentuhan nang sandali, dumating na si Ate Bea at nagsimula ng magklase.

Wala akong ganang makinig. Si Kuya Mike na rin ang pumalit sa akin, pansamantala.

Together with the others, they attacked the Sakura Company. They did some fights as well, and stole some important documents.

Time will come that we will face the real and great battle.

Eventually, sadyang mabilis talaga ang oras at lunch break na namin.

"Natnat! Kainin mo na kasi, please!" Den whines, pointing me a spoon full of rice.

We are currently on the cafeteria, and this annoying Dennis keeps on insisting me to eat, when I don't feel like eating.

The Cold Warriors are just steps away in our table.

"Ayaw." I say stubbornly while crossing my arms on my chest.

"Natnat naman, eh." He nags with a puppy face. "Kailangan mong kumain, para naman lumakas ka." Pilit niya pa.

"Nah-uh." I utter while shaking my head twice in process.

"Bratty Natnat." He mumbles, pouting.

"Nat," I hear Clint chuckle. "Pagbigyan mo na siya."

"Yeah. He's annoying." Skhy says secondly. We're with Elli and Ash, as well as Justine. Ewan ko kung bakit siya naki-upo sa amin.

"Si Ash na lang ang pakainin mo. Hindi man siya kumakain." I tell Dennis as I point her with my lips.

Kanina pa siya nagbabasa ng book at hindi kami pinapansin. I see the title of her book, it says: My Heart And Other Black Holes. Oh, it looks so interesting. Maybe, she got hooked with the story plot.

"But, Natnat! She's a sadist! Lagi niya akong binubully." Dennis says in a childish way.

Magkatabi kasi sila Ash and Den sa class.

"Hah?!" Ash raises her brow, hearing Dennis's insult. "Palagi mo kaya akong inaasar." She counters as she smacks Den's arm.

"Itte!" Dennis cries, "See? You're a sadist! Aside from that, pikon ka, Ash-Ash-chan."

"Stop calling me that, you ugly!" Ash tries to reach for his hair, but Dennis immediately dodges.

"Bleh!" Asar pa lalo ni Den.

"Aish. Bahala ka nga." Ash gives up, snobbing him.

I chuckle, watching these two. They're like a cat and dog. Dennis is a bubbly one while Ash is quite strict in actions.

"Chance, please eat naman!"

As I hear Casey's voice, I immediately eye the person whom Casey's pertaining to.

I notice his eyes. They are looking me with a hint of jealousy, even though his cold stares are more placid.

I quickly remove my eyes to him. Bahala siya.

"Naaat-nat!~" Dennis calls me, prolonging my name. "Ano ba ang gusto mong kainin? Tell me!"

"Wala." I respond in a straight face, averting my gaze opposite to him.

"Gusto mo ba ng ice cream? Strawberry flavor?" Den asks, enough to hear by everyone.

Faster than four o'clock, I revert my eyes to Den as he gives me a teasing smile, "Gusto mo, 'no?"

"Hmph . . ." I scoff, turning my head sideways. "Ayaw ko pa rin."

I hear him smirks. "Don't deny it, Natnat. I asked Nathan what's your favorite food and he told me that you like ice creams."

"Gee. Fine." I hiss quietly. Enough of these denies. "I want a parfait, Dennis. Ibili mo na rin ako ng lollipop—strawberrry flavor—gummy bears, chocolates, marshmallows, and cookies."

"Natnat naman!" He complains, "Daig mo pa ang buntis kung maglihi ka ng sweets! At saka, wala naman gan'on dito."

"Kung ayaw mo, okay." I shrug while gazing at Dennis with a lifted brow, "Magpapabili na lang ako kay Clint." I tell him, shifting my head to Clint's direction.

"Hey, hey! Ako na lang, Natnat!" Den interrupts, grabbing my arms while forcing me to look at him.

"Fine, then." I smirk, "Buy me as well a cotton candy."

"Aye, aye." He sighs, "Just wait for me, okay? Huwag kang aalis diyan."

"Mm'kay." I grin.

Afterwards, umalis na siya. This is an university. It is allowed to go out.

"Mukhang under sa 'yo si Den." Clint muses.

I just shrug my shoulders, pursing my lips.

After a very long time, Den comes back with a parfait and a plastic bag of sweets.

My mouth forms into small 'O'. Seryoso siya, binili niya ako. At nilapag niya ito sa harapan ko. "Kain na."

I smile wholeheartedly. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed for what he did, "Thanks, Den."

"Just for you." He returns the smile and slight pinches my cheek.

I pick a spoon and scoop the cherry. And I'm about to eat it when Dennis grabs my hand, shifting the spoon to his direction and then he ate it!

"Hey! The cherry! You freaking ate it!" I squirm and my face muffles.

Napatawa si Dennis sa akin.

I glare at him, "Tch. Dennis."

"Bayad mo." He says coolly.

"Ugh. Layas! Alis. Alis." I yell, while kicking his limb.

But he just sticks his tongue and grabs a pack of strawberry marshmallow.

"Give it back!" I cry in high pitch.

"Akin na 'to, okay?"

"Dennis bakemono." I mumble while my lips are slightly pouted.

Clint laughs, "Yes, he's a pure bakemono."

"What's bakemono?" Ash asks cluelessly.

"An ugly monster." I say, and she laughs immediately.

"Natnat naman, eh . . ." He murmurs.

I show my tongue, teasing him.

"Cutie Natnat." He giggles. Looks like Dennis's true nature is being bubbly after all. But when he's mad, he's a pure bakemono.

I'm currently enjoying my parfait right now. I don't care my surrounding, all I know that this parfait is a bliss.

"Hey, Natnat."

"Hmm?" I innocently look at Den. Then, he places his thumb beside my lips.

"Ang dumi mong kumain." He says, wiping some dirt beside my lips. Namula yata ako at napayuko nang bahagya.

He chuckles when he saw me blushing.

"Kumakain ako. Huwag mo 'kong pakialaman." I complain, hiding my face.

"Okay, okay." He simply says.

Natapos na akong kumain. May natira naman, kaya binigay ko na lang kina Ash, Elli, at kay Skhy.

Meanwhile—after our lunch break—I'm now walking up the stairs, alone. I went to the clinic, unfortunately, nasa ground floor pa ito at nasa third floor ang room namin. Jeez.

Masakit kasi ang arm ko. Our physical therapist prescribed that I have to drink some pain killers. Plus, the deep wound on my palm. Jeez, again.

Papunta na ako sa second floor, nadatnan ko si Chance.

"Hey." I call. He stares down on me. He's leaning in the wall with his hands places inside his pockets.

His expressions are unreadable—stoic and cold as ever.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad, papunta sa harap niya. "Tara na. We're gonna be late." Yaya ko and nauna na akong naglakad.

I don't wish to talk or be with him.

But all of the sudden, I sense myself being pushed on the wall. I groan on my mind, feeling the pain inwardly.

"What's wrong with you?" I say in low voice.

He closes his eyes, leaning against my face. My heart is beating so loud in a slow motion. I feel like I'm lacking air in my chest.

My sense of urgency hollers inside my system. And involuntarily, I push him away. But it doesn't give a budge. Instead, he pins me even more.

"You're hurting me." I mutter with an ache to my voice.

He loosens his grasp, but not enough for me to move.

"I need to go." Finally, I got the urges to talk.

His expression is still, as though he doesn't want me to let go. I clench my jaw as I struggle to his grasps. I don't care if it hurts, just I need to stay away from him.

"Chance." I call in a warning tone.

"You're avoiding me again." He says in hallow voice.

"Just let go. Maybe Dennis is looking for me." I state darkly.

He lowers his head to me, enough to touch his nose to mine. Our lips are just millimeters apart; the tip of my upper lip can feel his.

His gray eyes are glaring, as if he doesn't like what he have heard.

"Please don't say that name in front me." He says in a silent but harsh tone.

My chest constricts. What is he plotting? What does he want me to show?

I want to know his thoughts. Will he let me know?

He suddenly composes himself, parting and letting his grip on me. He faces me with a little grin. "I want to see your gentle smiles. I want your warm touches to me. My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had . . ."

I only stare at him. Magically, my lips are tightly close, as if something is being stitched on my mouth.

". . . But," he continues, "my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can't have and wanting what you shouldn't want. And I shouldn't want you. I will never bother you again."

I'm weakened on what he says. I can't speak. Is he going to leave me? Ah, right. That is what I want.

Yes. I want him to leave. But . . . why I am sad? Both of my mind and heart is lonely.

"Good bye." He bids a farewell. Then he starts walking away. And I am here, stupidly staring at his back.

He's leaving me. Leaving me empty. I cannot move. Why is it like this? What is this feeling?

I sit down and stare at the flooring. I see drops of water on the floor. Ah. Those are my tears. I am even not aware that my tears are falling.

I smile bitterly between my tears. Stupid me. Am I in love with him? The hell. Is this what you called 'love'? Then why I am more crying than smiling?

Why the hell why am I feeling this? I never knew love, but why I can feel it? What have he done to me? Screw you, Chance.

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n o t e :

Itte! = Ouch! / Aww!