Izuna

They took turns taking care of me, the boys. Even Hakka-san visited. My family couldn't visit; due to sakura season, there were no flights, but I video-called them every day. I was still in pain, but they were toning down on the good stuff that were going into my veins, and it felt fine. 

Hashirama cheered me up with his fantastic mood. His brother, however, would sit next to me, holding my hand, saying close to nothing as mountains of flowers were gathering in my hospital room; both men brought a bouquet in every day. I noticed that Hashirama's were always more modest, and I suspected he was giving way for his beloved brother and me. I was grateful for that. I loved Hashirama, but in a world where Tobirama and me existed, it could never be us.

Tobirama had decided to stay in Tokyo to finish the case with us. I was incredibly grateful for that, although worried since Hashirama had expressed he thought his brother was close to burning himself out. I worried especially during the nights, when Tobirama wasn't with me. Then, one night, I had had enough so I wrote to him.

Me: Would it be ok if I said I miss you?

Tobirama: Yes.

I smiled. It was something endearing about his straightforward way of communicating through text.

Me: I miss you.

Tobirama: I miss you.

Tobirama: I consider getting drunk so I can force you to come to me again.

Me: You don't have to drink for that, you know?

Tobirama: If I asked you, would you come?

Me: Yes <3

Tobirama: <3

The day after, he was very shy for me after our texting. He didn't even manage to say hi or goodbye to me. That night, he texted me first. 

Tobirama: I need you

I immediately understood he wasn't badly off. That this was a game. A game between him and me.

Me: What for?

Tobirama: I need you down on your knees for me.

I sat up on my knees and took a picture from above. I was very happy with how it turned out. Not to honk my own horn or anything, but I looked very cute (okay, very much to honk my own horn). I pressed send, my heart in my mouth.

Tobirama: Izuna...

I sent him a film where I lay down on my back for him. I didn't hide anything anymore.

And he didn't either. He sent me a video of exactly what he was doing to himself. And I did the same, but whereas he was silent, I was squeaking, as loudly as I dared in my hospital room.

A while passed while both of us were busy.

Me: I'm close

Tobirama sent me a video. It was of his torso, and he was looking straight into the camera, looking dangerous.

"Come for me baby", he said right at me.

And, by his command, I did. And I filmed it and sent it to him, too. I looked pretty hot, if I may say so myself, which I may. I was arching my back, the hand that was not busy over my mouth to prevent a scream.

I sent it.

Tobirama: Good boy.

I almost died.

Me: I wanna suck ur dick

And then, he sent me a video when he came, filmed from below, giving me the impression I sucked him.

Me: And you're my good boy :*

He sent me a selfie, holding the phone in a way that made it look as if he was strangling me.

Tobirama: Watch your mouth.

He couldn't even look me in the eye when he visited the day after, he was so shy. It pleased me no-end. 

One day before I was to be let out of hospital, Tobirama came into the door looking unsure of himself, which I had never seen before.

"What's wrong?"

"I put you in danger when I put you on this case. I should have foreseen what happened. There's always a risk when going into cases where a mob of people that are against you is involved. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault", I said.

"No matter whose fault it is, I need to send you back to New York."

I just stared.

"Why?"

"The case is too dangerous."

"Do we have anyone to fill in for me?" I asked.

"Nobody I trust that is available", he said. "I will finish it myself."

It said something about Tobirama's trust in people; it was a massive company employing thousands, yet he couldn't find someone he trusted on the available-list. Also, Hashirama's worries of a potential burnout echoed in my mind. I shook my head.

"No", I said. "I desire to finish it."

"No", Tobirama said, crossing his arms. I wondered how it felt to be a person so powerful that a 'no' was a complete sentence. 

I took a deep breath. Then, I pointed to a pile of papers next to my bed.

"Actually... I couldn't sleep that well in my hospital bed so I did some work to tire myself out."

"Didn't you say your ability to fall asleep anywhere was your superpower?" he asked, not smiling but definitely a glimmer in his eyes. I understood then that he didn't really want me to leave either; he was just trying to do what he believed was right. 

 "I... I found something", I said, and Tobirama straightened his back. "That day the people hurt me. I had found something in one of the documents that I had to go out and check. I double-checked everything during my time in hospital and..."

"And what?"

I took a deep breath.

"I have found something that I believe will make us win. It's serious." This part was true; what I had found was astonishing. And shocking, and angering, and so unfair. To everyone involved. "Please, let me finish my case. This is important for my own career as well." I honestly didn't care about my career; I just wanted to be with Tobirama. 

Tobirama frowned.

"Tomorrow is Friday. Take the weekend off. Then, we'll get to work on Monday and you tell us what you found."

Tobirama

I lost it.

I well and truly lost it.

I had held myself together during the days Izuna was hospitalised more than any other days in my life. But now that I knew Izuna was going to be okay, the dam burst, and I couldn't hold it in.

I lay down on the floor of my hotel suite and screamed my heart out. I screamed and screamed and screamed. I was aware enough to worry about neighbouring suits; even if the walls were heavily isolated, my screams were so loud they could travel through an ocean. I dropped my glasses on the wooden floor, tears dripping down from the tip of my nose. 

I crept on all four to my phone. I had no idea what I was doing, just touched the screen on autopilot. A signal went through before someone picked up. 

"Gerry", I croaked.

"Tobirama, son", my therapist said softly. 

Gerry pieced me back together. 

At first, he was quiet down the line, being with me as I calmed down, which I eventually did because we always do, don't we? Then, he spoke softly.

"I think you may have met someone."

I was too exhausted to be surprised by his words. But had I met someone? I didn't know. I hadn't really thought about it as meeting someone. I hadn't met Izuna; he had fallen like a comet from the sky straight into my life, setting everything on fire.  

"Maybe", I said, feeling like an idiot.

"Tell me."

And I did. How I had started to notice the little boy, at first so unnoticeable to me, but now such a lustful burst of colour in my life. I told him that I had started to feel things I had ever felt before; anger towards my brother, jealousy, gratefulness... I told him I had even smiled. 

"It sounds like he's a good man for you", Gerry said.

"But I can't pull someone into my life like that!" I said, frustrated.

"You can't... Or you don't want to?"

I hissed through gritted teeth.

"I don't know..."

"I don't say this as your therapist, Tobirama, but a friend", Gerry said. "But I believe in you. I believe you have a lot of love within you to give. Give this man a chance. Give yourself a chance to do all of those normal things couples do. I have a feeling you might like it. 

I was quiet for a while. 

"You must decide, Tobirama."

I knew that. I knew...